Chapter 4

Unbeknownst to me, I slowly begin dating Marvel. Madge and Annie bring it to my attention one day after he has dinner at the apartment. He cooks, I clean. We laugh and joke, bump hips and share a few kisses throughout the process. It's so unlike me and so domestic. I remember my mother and my father being the same way.

I hadn't realized my roommates had even been home to see it all until much later when they had grilled me on every aspect of our "relationship". I didn't have any answers and I told them so.

"We haven't even talked about it," I say them with a sour face. "I'm not like you guys. These things don't come natural to me."

"Shut your trap, Everdeen," Madge argues, her hard eyes snapping in my direction. "You know how to flirt, you just choose not to. Everyone knows how to flirt. You are born knowing how to flirt. How do you think you got Marvel and Peeta?"

The mention of Peeta's name causes my stomach to flop uncharacteristically. I bite my lip in an attempt to hide my blush. It also seemed, strangely enough, that Peeta Mellark and I had become friends. We go on hikes, go to lunch, watch baseball at the local sports bar. We talk and laugh and tease and, I've found, it's actually enjoyable. It seems out disastrous first date had been a fluke. I'd never seen that Peeta again.

"I'm not seeing Peeta, Madge," I snap. "We're friends. Just friends. You guys know how he is. We would never work. We're too… alike."

"Please don't compare yourself to Peeta Mellark," Annie says. "You are not, and I truly believe this, anything like him. I love that boy to death but he is still an ass. A lovable ass but an ass."

"Anyway," Madge croaks, "we are back on the subject of Marvel. You guys need to discuss what exactly this relationship is. If you two let the conversation go for too long, you'll get lost in the sweep of a new relationship and never get to the point. And then you're thirty-four and unmarried with a live in boyfriend and a child out of wedlock."

Annie and I both stare at her impassively.

"You really thought a lot about that one, huh?" Annie laughs. I join her. "In a way, she's right, Katniss. You need to make sure you're both on the same page."

"You're both annoying and sending me spiraling into a never ending rage. On that note, I am going to Peetas' house this afternoon. And before you're imaginations begin to run wild, he's helping me with an english project. I will be home before dinner!"

There is a chorus of "ooh's" and "ahh's" but other than that, for once, my roommates are silent and let me leave without little interruption.

The walk to Peetas' house on "Greek Row" is a short one and much quicker in flats. A few of his fraternity bothers are sitting on the front porch, beers in hand and smiles on their faces. After a few crude jokes and laughs at my expense, they all welcome me with warm smiles. Peeta and I had many long conversations about the dynamic of a fraternity. It all seemed so odd to me. He assured me that, though most of the time they're fighting like teenage girls, they'd all take a bullet for one another.

"Hey Katniss," Thom, a boy in my statistics class, says quietly. "You here to see Peeta?"

"Yeah, he's helping me write that damned english paper for Professor Gilmore's class," I say. "It's been a real pain in the ass. My workload is heavy this year."

"I see," he smiles. "You finish the lab? I had to go in this morning to make sure all the information was right. Nearly failed last semester due to fucking labs believe it or not."

"If you ever need help, just ask, Thom."

I find Peeta in his room, sitting at his desk, charcoal pen in hand as he traces patterns over white paper. He's admitted to me he loves art. And he is a good artist. He paints, colors, draws. Anything you can think of, his hands create.

He doesn't hear me. The loud music coming out of his earbuds distract him. He jumps when I run my fingers softly down his back, signaling my presence. There is a spark that I can't ignore. A fire of some sort. The way his eyes catch mine, I know he feels it too. I tentatively move away. "Hey stranger."

"Sorry. How long have you been there?"

"Not long at all. Maybe a minute. You seemed pretty into whatever is going on here. I didn't want to distract you."

"Uh," he stutters, running a free hand down the back of his neck anxiously. I move in closer. A flustered Peeta is not one I see too often. "I was actually working on this for you. It's a katniss flower. I looked up online what they look like and thought you might like it."

"Wow," I say, grabbing ahold of the half drawn flower, admiring it from afar. "To be very honest with you, I'm not sure I knew what a katniss flower was until now. You could've drawn me a rose and I wouldn't have known any better, Mellark."

"Well damn. Now you tell me." His smile is so infectious I can't help but return it. Reluctantly, I relinquish the drawing back to him. "I will have this ready for you in about a week. I expect it to be framed, in your bedroom, by Wednesday."

Peeta and I spend the rest of the afternoon sluggishly. He shows me a new indie album he just bought and I introduce him to the gift of 30 Rock on Netflix. For a short time, I snooze on the bed I once spent a night in. He does the same and we only wake to a soft knock on the door.

"Thought I may find you here," Finnick smiles, running a playful hand through my hair as I wipe the sleep from my eyes. Peeta has still not roused but I do not wake him.

"Get all your inappropriate jokes out of the way now, Finnick," I snap. "I'm really not in the fucking mood to get a lecture from you too. I know you and Annie talk."

"My dear, when Annie and I talk the last thing we want to talk about is you and Peeta bread over here, okay? Anyway, what are you doing lounging around in bed all day? It's a beautiful day outside. Why don't you two go enjoy the outdoorsy shit you are both so fond of?"

"Fuck off!"

"Someone is in a bad mood today. And here I was, hoping you'd want two would like to accompany Annie and I to dinner this evening."

I groan. I knew Annie had something to do with this. In the time I'd befriended Peeta, I'd only seen Finnick a handful of times actually in the house. He spent a lot of time at our apartment with Annie. They had become pretty serious. His presence here was merely to wrangle me into a double date. I look over at Peeta to make sure he is still sleeping. When I am sure he is, I whisper softly, "I have plans tonight."

"Plans tonight? Other than being with Peeta? Because if that is the case, you two need to learn to be a little more social."

"Finnick, you talk like a fucking school master and it makes me want to punch you in the face. Shut the fuck up."

His eyes widen comically and I can't help but laugh after a while. So loud, in fact, that Peeta finally rouses, looking confused but pleased. "What did I miss? Having a party without me?"

"Your girlfriend has quite the potty mouth, Peeta," Finnick snaps. My eyes darken at the word. Girlfriend. Not even close. Peeta tenses too but if Finnick notices, he pretends not to. "I wanted to see if you guys wanted to have dinner with Annie and I but it seems that Katniss already has plans for the evening. You two enjoy the rest of your day doing whatever. I will call Annie, who will be very disappointed, and inform her you are 'busy'."

He's gone and Peeta falls into the crook of my neck. I don't flinch. I don't even move. I enjoy the feeling for a moment as the two of us relish in each others presence. It's in this moment I realize I don't want to give this up. I want this moment. And that scares me.

"You have plans?" Peeta mumbles against my shoulder, his eyes shutting yet again. School has been so busy lately, I doubt he's really gotten too much sleep. Lord knows I haven't. "I thought our plans included watching another four seasons of 30 Rock in one sitting."

I smile. "As nice as that sounds, I have dinner plans with a friend tonight that I can't blow off. Can I take a rain check on the Netflix binging?"

"Yeah, Katniss. Whatever you want."

I move to find my shoes. Peeta awkwardly clears his throat behind me and whatever the thickness is in the air threatens to suffocate me. I stand, turning to face him while toeing my tennis shoes on. "You'll break an ankle doing that one day, you know."

"Yes, and you'll have to take me to the hospital," I smile. "You know, one time when I was nine I fell off the swings at school and broke three of my fingers. Can you believe that? Three! My mother was so angry. She was constantly telling me I was going-"

"Would you ever want to go another date with me?"

Our eyes catch and I awkwardly swallow the heaviness in my throat. He looks nervous. Terrified even but he remains calm as he waits for me to formulate a response.

I want to scream. Out of happiness or anger, I don't know.

There is nothing more in this world I want more than to say yes but I have to say no. Because of Marvel. Because whatever is happening between us is happening between us and I respect it. I want it to grow. I want to see where the horizon will take me. But I also want that with Peeta.

He had his chance, the voice in the back of my head reminds me.

"Peeta, I don't know if that's a good idea," I mumble. "We just got into the habit of, I don't know, kind of getting along with one another. I don't want to mess that up with another…bad date."

"Yeah, yeah," Peeta remarks quietly. "Of course. Sorry I asked. I just had to know. I still feel so awful about that night."

"You should," I joke. "You were the biggest dick I've ever met. Be happy I'm even allowing you to breathe my air."

He laughs awkwardly and goes back to sketching. "So I'll see you around? Maybe tomorrow we can hang out or something. I'm still waiting for you to cook for me. Or poison me. It's yet to be decided but I'm willing to take my chances one way or another."

"Your faith in me is inspiring!" Grabbing my things, I head towards the door, mumbling a quick goodbye before disappearing around the corner, not at all ready to leave.

…

Madge and Annie are both asleep on the couch when I return home, bag of popcorn in one hand, remote in the other. Shaking them both awake, I plant myself on the opposite couch and wait for them to rouse.

"What the fuck? When did I fall asleep?" Annie groans, running a hand through her unruly hair. She immediately reaches for her phone, a smile playing across her lips, no doubt a reaction to Finnick Odiar. "Finnick is so sweet. He just asked me if I wanted to go out for ice cream tonight. Says he found the ice cream shop I'd heard about and it's only an hour away. How fun! Katniss, maybe you and Peeta could-"

"Please don't start with that," I interrupt, my head already spinning from Peeta's earlier inquiries. "An hour road trip with you and Finnick actually makes me want to gag and he already badgered me about dinner for what feels like ten hours."

"I'm with her on that one," Madge mumbles. "And Katniss is not a good travel buddy. She went home with Gale and I one Christmas and you would have thought we'd killed her puppy, how mean she was."

"I get cranky in cars. Sue me!" Haunting memories of ten hours drives with Madge and Gale attack me. I fight them off. "I want to talk to you guys about something."

"Shoot."

"Peeta kind of asked me out on a date. Today. Again."

"Today?" Madge asks with wide eyes. "Are you sure he meant like a date-date or was he asking you if you wanted to grab pizza or something? You two have become good friends. Maybe he just meant to hang out."

"No. He actually said, "would you ever go out on another date with me?"' I reply, a little annoyed. "I said no but when I did, I could of sworn he looked a little upset by it."

"Well I mean, you can't go on a date with someone now that you're with Marvel." I sigh. "You did tell him that you're right Marvel and that's the reason you're turning down the date, right?"

"I might have forgotten to mention anything about Marvel in the short conversation we were having," I reply. Fuck. I really need help with this dating stuff. "I just said I didn't want to disrupt whatever friendship it was turning in to. He seemed to understand, I guess."

"Oh god," Annie groans. "It's going to be so awkward now, Katniss! You turned him down? You could've at least gone to dinner with the boy. It wouldn't have been too bad. Nothing Marvel doesn't know won't hurt him."

"And would you be okay with Finnick taking an ex-date out to dinner and not telling you?" Madge replies defensively. "You have to tell him about Marvel and say that's why you can't go out. Because honestly, if he was not in the picture, would you go out with Peeta again?"

I hadn't really given it much thought. If I was unattached, and there was nothing stopping me, would I have agreed to Peetas' offer this afternoon? The flutter in my heart tells me I would. The voice in my head tells me I wouldn't. I shrug. "I don't know what I would have said."

"Indecisive," Annie mumbles. "The last thing I've ever known Katniss Everdeen to be is indecisive."

"I'm turning a new leaf. One where I want to sample all the candy at the party."

Madge laughs humorlessly. "That'll get you a stomach ache, Everdeen. You have to pick the sweet or the sour. Can't have both."

"She's right," Annie says. "You either need to tell Peeta you're seeing Marvel or you need to stop seeing Marvel and start seeing Peeta."

"Why is that? Peeta and I are just friends, there is nothing more to it. I don't see why I have to disclose who I'm dating if he's never asked. It seems…weird. Off. It isn't like that with us."

Annie and Madge share a knowing look. "It seems like it means a lot more to him than that, Katniss. If he asked you out, again, it's obvious he's seen the error of his ways and it ready to correct them! That also means you're swaying him the wrong way. He's getting the impression you're on the same page."

"After my rejection tonight, I"m sure he'll know better than to think we're on the same page."

"But aren't you?"

"What?"

Annie sighs. "It's okay to admit you like him. In more than a friendly way. He's a good looking guy. Sure, he's got his personality issues. But he's kind when he wants to be and he's a lot kinder to you than I've ever seen. You bring out the good in one another. And you both see that. Attraction is natural."

My cheeks burn. My friends have always been able to see right through me. And it seems to me they've seen what I can't. "I don't want to mess it up again."

"You'll never know if you never try, right?"

...

Hope you guys liked this chapter! I'm working on my other stories now. THANKS!

B