Reborn
The creature walked around despondently, crying out for the voice. It screeched, and a gale spiraled up into the endless night.
Where are you?
A feeling stirred in its skull.
I am here.
The voice sounded annoyed.
You are like a child. It chided. The creature hung its head.
Why did you call me?
A pulse of energy brought a troubled breeze:
Missed you.
Why?
You give hope.
The creature was honest, and it was perhaps this that made the voice pause.
That is good to know. Thank you, Arashi.
That is a name?
It is your name, Arashi.
Your name?
No, your name.
The creature's head tilted, and it tried a whisper of a word-
My?
Yes.
Arashi, head comfortably filled by the voice, walked along the sand. It looked up curiously at the moon as it jogged, almost sprightly, to the shadow of a great structure.
The pillar was solid white and impossibly tall. Arashi placed a hand on its surface. Smooth, and hard to the touch.
It caught sight of its own limb and started. It pulsed its reiatsu in surprise and brought up wind.
What is that?
Your hand, Arashi. The voice sighed.
Amazed, Arashi studied it. The color of fair ivory, like the tower, and jointed. It clenched into a fist. Curious, Arashi punched the tower.
An unfamiliar feeling shot up its arm. Arashi squirmed and grunted.
What is that?
Pain.
Bad?
Yes, pain is bad. Don't do that again, Arashi. The voice warned.
The creature nodded its horned head and waited for the feeling to subside. A crack appeared in Arashi's mind; only felt, not seen or heard. An image slipped through, unlocked by the pain.
A small creature. Brown head. Red body.
A girl.
Girl. It repeated. The image was familiar, not because Arashi remembered it, but because it produced a physical effect. Its stomach bubbled with a feeling more uncomfortable than pain. Arashi knew it:
Guilt.
Yes.
All of a sudden, Arashi threw its head at the pillar with a resounding crack. The pain drove the image from its mind for an instant, but the girl returned quickly.
Arashi hit its head again. It wanted the girl gone from its memory…
Cease.
The voice controlled Arashi's limbs and held the creature still.
Pieces of bone dropped from its head and disintegrated, joining the sand on the ground.
Arashi's vision cleared, face now uncovered, and consciousness returned.
I remember. I remember everything. She whimpered. Why didn't I forget?
Because it kept you human.
What?
She looked down and sobbed. Her appearance was outwardly human, but the hole in her chest proved otherwise. She brought hands to her face. The right side was clean and smooth.
The left bore a rocky, unyielding substance. A mask. Or, what remained of one - a chunk of an extra jawbone, and five pointed teeth, sealed to her skin.
Liar. I am human no longer.
Draw me, and we shall see who is the liar.
Arashi blinked with silver eyes.
What?
Draw me! It commanded.
Frantically, she searched, and found a foreign object on her hip. A zanpakuto. She drew it from its red scabbard without hesitation.
Who else but a human could wield such a weapon? The voice asked, resonating from the silver blade. Arashi observed the sword in wonder. The blade had a matching silver braid along its hilt, red diamonds beneath. The tsuba gleamed in the moonlight - a bent, diamond leaf that curved up, then down like a gentle ocean wave.
Despite its beauty, Arashi found it within herself to jab back at the voice in bitterness.
I am an Arrancar, then. Far from human. It looks as though you are still a liar.
Fool. What Arrancar possesses free thought? Or the memories of their human lives? Perhaps you are a hollow in spirit, but in mind, you remain evermore human.
Faces flashed before her - the girl first, then her parents, their comrades, her classmates... She truly did remember everything.
Arashi gazed in awe at the blade, and still she felt no need to speak. Or perhaps her voice no longer worked. She pulsed her reiatsu.
May I be granted the honor of knowing your name, great spirit of this zanpakuto?
I am merely Ren, the Lotus.
Then Ren, if I am truly as human as you say, can I return to the World of the Living?
It waited for a moment, weighing the possibility.
Yes.
And could I… return to my body?
No.
It seemed a little too fast with its answer, which aroused her suspicion.
Are you sure?
No, I am not. It has never been attempted.
So it's possible?
Why would you want to live inside your corpse?
Arashi took great care in formulating her answer.
It would be like a second chance; another life, with the power to help people.
Ren almost seemed to appreciate the sentiment.
So, could I do it?
Not without arousing suspicion. Physically, you are still a hollow.
Arashi frowned. It would be unusual, to say the least. Provided she found her body, if she were to suddenly rise from the dead, her parents would ask so many questions, each one unanswerable. The lies would compound themselves until, inevitably, she made a mistake. If this form were revealed to a soul reaper, they would attack without hesitation or provocation. Even her own parents would kill her on sight.
So I have to stay here? She asked, crestfallen.
She felt Ren deliberate.
You will need to learn how two things. How to use me, and how to quell your desire for human souls.
What? Said a breath of her wind.
Here, you are safe from hunger. There, you would face constant, uncontrollable cravings.
Like an alcoholic in a liquor store. She thought back, despite herself. I am an addict now, I suppose.
I could help you.
Arashi's glinting eyes narrowed at the blade.
Why would you make such an offer?
An Arrancar's zanpakuto is the concentration of his hollowfied power. I am no exception. Since you are more human than hollow, though, at this moment, I am the embodiment of your good heart.
How?
I am you, as you were. It replied simply. The desire for humanity flows through me as well.
She thought on that for a moment.
Then I have you to thank for keeping these memories?
You may thank me, but you will find that the memories were unlocked by you.
No. Arashi disagreed. They were not her doing; she had regained her identity only through pain and guilt - through that dead girl.
I told you before. The guilt you bear is not your identity. It knew her well, and the burden she carried.
She sank into the sand, grasping at her clothes. And neither is this. I deserve to be human again, if only to help atone for my actions. Could you help me get my old life back?
Yes.
She almost hugged the blade in thanks.
However, if you were to release me, I would become monstrous. And so would you.
The newborn Arrancar froze in horror. It seemed to her that, to unlock her powers, meant irrevocable corruption of her soul. She bit her lip.
I can't use you, then. She made to sheathe the sword; a vibration in the hilt made her pause.
There is a way to counteract this, if you will listen.
Arashi nodded slowly and lowered her arm.
It will be difficult, but it can be done - you will have to learn to reign in your hollow side.
It seems impossible.
It can be done! Ren asserted. Do not lose hope.
It sounded desperate, even sad. It compelled her to nod, and smile a bit.
Teach me, then. I'm not going anywhere for a while.