Disclaimer: Yeppers, this one is rated M. If you didn't throw down a ballot between Obama and McCain, then stop right here. I'm a momma first and foremost. Don't make me put you in time out 'cause I will. I own the same first name (still spelled differently), but only because I didn't legally change it to OchoCinco, which resulted in an assload of fines from the NFL just for having great schtick.

A/N#1: Many of you dearies were wondering if Tanya ever slipped Bella her digits. The answer is no. She would have to be blind as a bat in January not to see the chemistry between Spinward and Ms. Bella, ergo understood the futility of such a gesture. That's not to say we won't see her at some point down the road. *wiggles eyebrows* Also, I didn't do a PSA regarding Edward's past conquests. Here's the dealio: With Carlisle being a medical professional, it would have been drilled into both Edward's and Emmett's melons not only the importance of safety, but also getting tested regularly. That is all. And away we go…its Friday night date time people!

Chapter 4 – Baby Let's Cruise

BPOV

"I look like an asshole!" I wailed, stepping out of my closet and throwing my hands in the air. "This dress is to die for, but seriously, I cannot carry this thing off." Spinning in a circle, I gestured to my cleavage so that I could properly show them what I meant. "From a funbag standpoint, this dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that otherwise known as my mamms. Rose, you know I love your taste in clothes, but come on, Chesty LaRue I am not."

Rose and Angela sat on the edge of my bed, both looking at me with mixed expressions of exasperation and amusement. I had lost count as to how many of Rose's outfits I had tried on, and we hadn't even broached the subject of shoes yet. It was almost six o'clock, which meant that I had about an hour before Edward arrived.

"Um, can you stop channeling Heather Mooney for about ten seconds so I can tell you how amazing you look in my Allen Schwartz please?" Rose stated very matter-of-factly. "Now, if you please, Ms. Mooney, go back into the closet and let Bella come out."

Suddenly, there was fit of cackling laughter, which startled both Rose and me, as it was coming from Angela, who was usually the quiet one. Rose and I exchanged questioning looks wondering what was so hilarious.

"It's just … it's just…Rose, you've been trying to get Bella to come out of the closet for years now!" Angela bellowed. "Should I leave and give you two some alone time?" She wiped her eyes and continued to chuckle.

"Oh Weber, if you only knew… I've always said 'once you go me, you'll be done with the peen.' I know this to be a fact." Rose quirked her eyebrow at me with a shit-eating grin on her face. "Last chance, Swan. Lose Hot Bitch Jr. and prove me wrong. I dare ya."

"You're hi-fucking-larious, Hale," I glared at Rose while trying not to laugh my ass off. "And you, Webber," I said, turning on Angela, "way to go getting her started. Now come on - both of you focus! What the hell am I going to wear?" It struck me that at the moment I probably sounded a lot like the children I worked with.

Rosalie looked at me with a serious expression, her laughter receding. "Let me ask you one question, Swan. Have I ever lied to you, or blown smoke up your ass?"

"No, you haven't Rose. It's just I've seen this dress on you and I know how gorgeous you look in it and…"

"Shush!" Rose cut in and snapped her fingers at me like a mother scolding her disobedient child. I immediately shut my trap and put my hands on my hips. I knew I'd better quit while I was ahead. Normally, going toe-to-toe with Rose was not something I shied away from, but I was so damned nervous about my date with Edward I just didn't have the fight in me.

"Okay, "she began, "your issues with your yabbos are completely unfounded. I happen to think they are quite fabulous, and God knows I've seen and felt enough of them that my opinion is fucking gospel." She paused while giving me a sly smirk. "So if I tell you I think you look amazing, then you need to just smile and thank me for being so incredibly awesome."

"Rose is right Bella," Angela said as she walked over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. "You look stunning. Edward won't be able to take his eyes off of you." Angela was always so reassuring and positive. We had known each other since high school and was one of the first friends I made when I moved to Forks as a teenager. We both ended up in Seattle after college and managed to stay close after all these years.

I smiled at my two best friends, my acquired siblings, and realized how blessed and fortunate I was to have two such wonderful, albeit completely different, ladies in my life. They were the two best cheerleaders a querulous nut job like me could ask for.

"Okay, so now you two have made me all emo with your respective perverseness and altruism," I said throwing my arm around Angela's waist and putting my head on her shoulder. "So, what in the name of Tim Gunn am I going to put on my feet? I don't think my Shoxx really go with the dress, although I'm tempted as hell because I know I won't fall on my ass. They're the one pair of shoes I can stay vertical in."

Angela shook her head and giggled, patting me on the cheek. "The shoes are my contribution to this fabulous ensemble, Ms. Swan. Rose, as we all know, doesn't own a pump lower than four inches. So being the stellar comrade I am, I brought you my fabulous suede Stuart Weitzman's with the jewely thingy at the toe. I think you can handle two-and-a-half inches."

"Oh you better be prepared to handle a hell of a lot more than that, especially after what you said HBJ was packing," Rose snorted.

We all giggled like twelve-year-old school girls at a slumber party as the discussion turned woefully phallic in nature. The ensuing debate of length versus circumference and general bantering penile repartee really calmed my nerves as I realized the hour of seven o'clock was drawing ever closer.

Angela and Rose excused themselves to the kitchen to grab more wine while I retired to the bathroom to commence hair and make-up. My stylists had decided that I should wear my hair down, as Edward had primarily only ever seen it tied back with my bandanna. Make-up wise, I was instructed to wear colors that would accentuate my eyes and skin tone.

Not trusting that I wouldn't end up looking like Tammy Faye Baker, God rest her soul, Angela just laid all the shit out I was supposed to use, providing me careful instruction about what went where. Thanks guys, way to have faith. Hells bells, I wasn't completely inept. I at least knew the difference between eye shadow and blush …

As I applied my war paint and gussied myself up, I pondered the possibility that maybe, just maybe, I was about to go on the last first date of my life. And as overwhelming and all-encompassing a speculation that idea was, it excited me to no end that maybe Edward was the one. I paused for a split second, took in a deep breath and readied myself for the beginning of what could be my happy ending.

EPOV

I am Edward Cullen. I don't get anxious about my dates. I make my dates anxious. So why the fuck am I acting so much like a chick?

Time had not been my friend today, and sure hadn't been on my side, thank you Mr. Jagger. The seconds barely morphed into minutes and the minutes took forever and a damn day to convert to hours. It reminded me of when we were kids, and my parents would take us to the state fair. We always had to walk through the car building to get to the midway where the games were. Entering the dreaded building of never ending vehicles and seeing the doors on the opposite end, it always seemed like it would take an eternity to make it through the maze of Fords, Chevys and Dodges. My mom and dad would stop and look at all the models, not even in the market for a new car, and all we wanted to do was get to the good stuff already.

Well, this day was my journey into that damn dreaded house of motorized transportation and Bella was my prize waiting to be won on the midway of fun and games.

Even though I had a class to teach and appointments with a few graduate students, that only kept me occupied until mid-afternoon. So I gave Emmett a call and asked him if he wanted to hit the gym. He was the regional General Manager for 24 Hour Fitness, which was how I came to teach spin in the first place. There was a spot that needed filling and he asked if I would be up for it. I got a free membership out of the deal, so it was a win for both of us.

Of course, I should've known that a workout wouldn't do much good for my state of mind, even with Emmett putting me through the paces. I really tried not to telegraph the fact that I was filled with anticipation for this evening, especially in the presence of my older brother. I fucking knew that if I showed the slightest trace of eagerness, Em would want to know why, and of course, I couldn't lie to my big brother. You can't bullshit a bullshitter. Once he found out it was a lady that had me all wound up, he would bemoan the fact that he'd taught me better and demand my Mancard. I decided the best course of action was to keep my damned mouth shut.

To expect the same from my mother, well, I could wish in one hand and piss in the other and see which one filled up faster. When she had pertinent information on any one of us, she just had to call the other two and keep them "in the loop" as she liked to call it. I loved my mother more than life itself and she didn't have a mean bone in her body, but the woman could not keep certain things to herself where Emmet, Alice and I were concerned for shit.

I shouldn't have been at all surprised when Emmett kept giving me funny looks and kept talking about his plans for the weekend, obviously trying to draw me offsides to get me to divulge my own. I knew the lines and I was not biting. I also knew that subtlety was a foreign concept to my hulk of a brother. There was nothing at all about him that was understated.

"So, little bruh," he blurted out, while I was mid bench press of course, "are you gonna cop to the date you have with the chick that works for Dad or what? You know mom's already spilled what she knows to me and Al. You need to fess up, 'cause I'm not feelin' the love."

"Well, if you must know, I'm banging Ms. Cope, "I dead panned as I finished my set and sat up from the bench. "There, you happy now?"

"Dude, that is one image I didn't need taking up space in my brain, and just plain fucking wrong on so many levels." Emmett shuddered, scrunching up his face in disgust. "Seriously man. Mom told me you're taking - what's her name, Bella - out tonight. So, you finally let Dad pimp your sorry ass out, huh?"

"If you already knew the answer smart ass, why did you ask me in the first place? Or maybe I should have assumed your question was a rhetorical one, bruh," I answered somewhat brusquely, getting up to refill my water.

"For real, I just wanted to get the details from you, that's all. No need to get cheesed off, okay?"

I thought carefully before I answered my older, but not necessarily more mature brother. If I told him everything, well, okay not everything, but if I came clean that I had met Bella only slightly before Dad had introduced us, well, might as well put that shit up on TMZ. Our little con would be blown all to hell, so I omitted certain details and gave him the run down on where things currently stood with my girl.

Did I just mentally refer to her as 'my girl'?

I sure as hell did, and I liked the way it sounded.

"Look, Ed, I'm not telling you what to do or anything, but just be careful, okay?" Emmett paused for a second, clearly trying to ascertain how to best impart whateverthefuck sage advice he had to give. "Remember that time I let Dad set me up with that physical therapist that works at the hospital, Lucy? You know the tall leggy blonde that's built like a brick shithouse?"

I nodded, only vaguely recalling that Dad had ever set Emmett up, and certainly unable to recall the lady in question.

"Yeah, well she was a real piece of work. First few dates were awesome, but after that she turned out to be a whack job when she found out we weren't exclusive and shit. It made things a little uncomfortable for Dad, but since she didn't work directly for him, it blew over relatively quickly. All I'm saying is you need to make your intentions clear with her. Whatever it is you want with this girl, just take into account that she will still be punching the clock at Dad's office once you've had your fun with her, alright?"

"Look Em, it's not like that, not this time anyway. I can't explain it. It's just different with her." I shook my head, trying to formulate a somewhat accurate response without completely baring my soul.

Immediately I recalled what I'd confessed to Bella at lunch yesterday. I was tired of the monotonous banality of dating. In that moment I'd put down the need to hold a little of myself back, the part that innately made me play things close to the vest. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I felt like I had a hold of something solid and real. I wanted the stereotypical white-picket fence and two-point-five kids with the minivan in upper-middle-class suburbia. I wanted all of those things that seemed ridiculously cliché, only they wouldn't be cliché with Bella. Therein laid the difference. Mancard be damned.

"There's more with Bella, I can feel it. Getting my rocks off is not the main objective with her, because you and I both know there are ladies a plenty in the greater Seattle area that would be more than willing to help me out in that endeavor." I paused for a split second to gauge my brother's reaction to my response, which to my astonishment was one of, dare I say, understanding? "I want to earn her - if that even makes any sense at all."

"I'm feeling ya, little bruh," Emmett nodded. "I'm glad to hear you say that, too. I mean, damn, we're not getting any younger, right? I don't know about you, but I've sorta been seeing things from a different perspective since Alice and Jasper got married. They're happier than pigs in shit and everything just seems to fit for them. The idea of having someone constant in my world, well, doesn't totally make me want to hurl. I just have to find the lady that is my brand of awesome."

No one could wax poetic like Emmett. Such a renaissance man, my big brother…

"Who are you and what have you done with my brother?" I feigned concern, internally ecstatic that my brother and I shared somewhat similar views on the concept of relationship possibilities.

"Aww, come on man, we're bonding here, like having a moment and shit. You know you want to hug it out, baby bruh!" Emmett roared, putting me in a headlock and giving me a noogie, which hurt like hell. Torturing me in annoyingly painful ways was obviously still one of my brother's favorite pastimes.

I kidney punched him, just enough so he would let me go. "By the way, you should really make sure your iPod doesn't fall into the wrong hands. Ask Dad to bust a move for you on Sunday. Seems he's all in da hood these days and down with his bad self. Tell him you want to hear a little 'Pimp Juice' and see what he does. Make sure you record that mess though. It's priceless."

"Are you shitting me?" Emmett boomed, doubled over in laughter.

"No shit, Chet, no shit."

We finished our workout and caught ourselves up on each other's lives, which was nice because sometimes Em and I would go weeks without being able to really talk. Our family had only recently started the ritual of Sunday brunches, my mother deciding a couple of months ago that we needed to have dedicated family time. The brunches just facilitated her need to get all of us together under one roof and get the low down on what we were up to. And because we loved her dearly, we placated and fostered our mother's nosiness.

After Em and I parted ways, I called Bella to get directions to her apartment. Truth be told, I really just wanted to hear her voice, because I could've texted her or sent her an e-mail. I needed just a little something to tide me over until evening. It was like being really, really hungry mid-afternoon, but knowing there was a huge five-course meal for later. A light snack would be just enough to keep the hunger pangs away until you could stuff yourself silly.

As I drove home, painfully aware that I still had a few hours before I picked her up, I focused on what I knew was going to be an incredibly difficult challenge for me. I promised her that I would let her determine the pace at which our relationship moved.

Relationship, hmmm? I guess that's as good a word as any.

I hadn't used that particular term in conjunction with a possessive pronoun in the last half-decade, and this was definitely the first time I was willing to put forth the effort in as much time. I meant that I wanted to earn Bella in every way that mattered. Her trust, her heart, her affections, all of it. I wanted to be worthy of her, and if that meant keeping Fast Eddie in check, then so be it. Fast, slow, or at a steady cruise, I would be happy to just sit back and be a passenger, letting Bella steer our course and navigate the way.

Sitting in the parking lot of Bella's apartment building, I second guessed my flower choice for the seven hundredth time in the last half hour. I told the florist what I wanted expressed with a nice bouquet of roses. I didn't want something trite or pedestrian, but I didn't want to freak her out either.

Based on the flower lady's recommendation, I settled on a stunning array of lavender roses and baby's breath. I wasn't sure if Bella would know immediately the meaning behind my choice, but I hoped to convey that she had indeed enchanted me in every way possible. And as beautiful as the roses were, I knew they would pale in comparison to their recipient.

I knocked on the door, wondering if I looked as douchey as I felt or if maybe I appeared chivalrous and romantic. The last time I had bought flowers for a lady, aside from my mother, was a wrist corsage for my high school girlfriend to wear to senior prom, which happened last fucking century. Damn, was I really getting that old?

With a swoosh the door abruptly opened to reveal a very tall, beautiful and slightly threatening looking blond who looked like she would rip my nads off and grill them up George Foreman style if she were so inclined.

Ahh, yes, this must be Rose. I don't care what other fucking name you called her, sweet was not an adjective that I would use to describe the Amazon before me, even on a dare.

Glancing behind her I saw a much shorter brunette with glasses, who I deduced was Angela, smiling at me in a very welcoming manner. So she's the sweet one. I immediately understood which one would be taking on the role of bad cop tonight.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. I'm Bella's date for this evening," I stated with as much confidence as I could muster while being stared down by Barbie Bad Ass.

"Of course you are," she replied with a wry smile and narrowed eyes. "Please, come on in. Bella will only be a few more minutes."

I followed her inside and settled myself on the couch, as the one I presumed to be Angela had gestured for me to have a seat. Glancing around Bella's modest yet stylish apartment, I noted the warmth and hominess that it exuded. Very inviting and so very Bella. I was no Nate Berkley, or whoever that dude was on Oprah that my mom and Alice always yammered about, as I personally didn't decorate for shit, but this was a very nice set up she had. I made the mental note to ask her if she wanted to add any of her feminine touches to my apartment. And to anything else of mine for that matter.

Yes, even though the horny bastard within had decided to make a brief cameo, I was determined to be full-on gentleman tonight.

"Hi Edward, I'm Angela, and of course, this is Rose. It's very nice to meet you." She grinned at me, trying to fill the slightly awkward silence that filled the room. I reached over and shook her hand, telling her that the pleasure was all mine.

"So, you're Dr. Cullen's youngest son, right?" Angela began with the twenty questions, although I had to acknowledge that her line of questioning was probably less harsh than anything that Rose would want to ask me.

"Yes I am. I have a brother Emmet who is about four years older than me, and a sister, Alice, who is right in between us." I answered honestly, yet all too aware that I needed to tread lightly. I was unsure of just how much Bella had actually divulged to her friends.

"I know Dr. Cullen pretty well. I'm a nurse at Children's and have been assigned to the seventh floor quite a bit over the last year or so," Rose chimed in, having made herself comfortable in the overstuffed chair and propping her feet up on the ottoman. "Ho…um..he's a real class act, your dad. Takes incredible care of the kiddos, a real patient advocate - we respect the hell out of him."

Well, at least Rose likes my Dad. That was a small step in the right direction. Wonder if I can parlay that into her being 'pro-me'?

"That's really nice of you to say, Rose. He's really dedicated to his patients. He saw that same commitment in Bella, which is why he wanted her to join his practice. She keeps him in line, that's for sure."

"Speaking of our fair Bella, I wonder what is taking her so long." Angela glanced down the hallway for signs of my date. "Maybe I should check on her, make sure she didn't mix up the eye and lip liner again."

"Let's just give her a few more minutes, okay Ang? Besides, I want to have a little heart-to-heart with Professor Spin God here."

Uh-oh. Professor Spin God? This cannot be good. Please Big Guy, if you're listening, please, please don't let Bella own a George Foreman Grill...

"Rose, come on, don't start," Angela whispered. "Bella will flip out if you bust his balls."

"No she won't, because Edward here isn't going to say shit, are you Edward?" I shook my head in compliance and fought the urge to protect my nuts.

She continued, eyeing me up and down in the process. "Good boy. Now, I know I don't need to reiterate what a magnificently heart-stopping woman my bestie is, do I? Of course I don't. I love Bella more than my Jimmy Choo's, and I will not hesitate to wield my five-inch-peep-toe-slingbacks in a deadly fashion if necessary. It's very simple: you make her cry, you deal with me. I promise you I can be every bit as frightening as Chief Swan with a double-barrel. Treat her like the treasure she is and we will have zero problems. Capice?"

Severely stunned, I took a brief pause and nodded to let Rose know I understood every word. "Rose, Angela, let me assure you both that I have nothing but the most honorable of intentions where Bella is concerned. She is without question one of the most beautiful and amazing women I have ever met, and believe me when I say the blessing of having her in my life is not lost on me. I guarantee that we are all on the same page. Her happiness is a top priority and I will do my level best to bring her as much of it as possible."

"Well said, Edward. Rose doesn't mean to come off so barbaric,"Angela began.

"Oh yes I do."

"Rose, shut it," Angela snapped. "Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Oh, yes, what I was trying to say was that you've really put a smile on Bella's face and we're in your corner. That's all."

"Thank you for that. Let me tell you both, the grin that has been affixed to my face since I met Bella is all her doing. It also makes me very happy that she has you two looking out for her, I truly mean that. She's very lucky to have you ladies."

It was then that I heard footsteps approaching as Bella made her way into the living room. She rounded the corner and then….

Wow.

I couldn't find the proper words to describe the vision that stood before me. Breathtaking and ravishing would have been a gross understatement. I don't know if that sexy-as-all-get-out black dress belonged to her, or who the designer was, but sweet lord, I needed to send someone a fruit basket for putting her in that thing. The way it caressed her delicate curves and the plunging neckline were going to force someone to write my eulogy. Clearly, I'd been "little-black-dressed" and no doubt fantasies of me peeling that bad boy off were being filed in the spank bank.

And then it occurred to me that I might have to throw one of those berkas or a hazmat uniform on her to keep the other horny bastards, and horny bitches for that matter, from staring too long at what was mine.

Possessive much, Cullen? Normally, I liked the fact that other men gawked at my dates, because I knew who was tapping things at the end of the night. Conversely, the thought of anyone eyefucking Bella made me want to scrape out said party's occipital lobes with a salad fork.

Flowers in hand, I crossed the room to her in about 1.24 seconds flat.

Where I was going to find the intestinal fortitude to keep my fucking hands to myself and my dick in my pants I had no clue. I had told Bella that she was in control, and horny bastard be damned, I would honor my word. But…

Fuck me.

BPOV

Fuck me.

I'd given myself about ten thousand "atta girls" before I walked into the living room where I knew he was waiting for me. I even paused for a second to get my head in the game. In the midst of harnessing my chi, I caught the tail end of Rose's verbal beat down, which made me want to run in there, nuzzle Edward's head in my bosoms and tell him I'd protect him from the Wicked Rose of the West. But then I heard his response.

My happiness was his top priority? Seriously? Sometimes my happiness wasn't even my own top priority, so naturally I was taken aback to hear Edward say such a thing. Whether or not he said that just to win my friends over remained to be seen, but the eternal optimist in me told the jaded skeptic who shared residence to have a glass of shut the hell up and take the night off.

When I rounded the corner and my eyes caught sight of him, I thought I might liquefy right then and there. My insides turned gelatinous and my knees went shaky. I couldn't even register my own heartbeat as it alternated between racing and a dead halt. I thanked the Almighty that Rose was certified in CPR as it might be necessary.

He looked downright sinful in the black slacks, steel grey dress shirt and black sport coat ensemble he had chosen to wear. Two words immediately came to my mind: yummy and slurp. In fact, if I hadn't known what decade Edward was born in, I would say Millie Small was serenading him while she sang 'My Boy Lollipop.' He was absolutely sweet as candy and sure made my heart go giddyup.

Edward stood up as I entered the room, his heavenly scent infiltrating the air, almost making me dizzy and driving me absolutely insane. He had the most wonderful smell of sage and sandalwood with just a trace of mint. It was an intoxicatingly comforting aroma that I wanted to deluge my olfactory senses with on a daily basis.

"Hey you," he said softly, wearing that asymmetrical grin that gave me the warm fuzzies.

"Hey yourself."

"Do you have idea how gorgeous you are? I'm almost afraid to touch you for fear I might damage perfection." He leaned down, his mouth dangerously close to my ear, and whispered so low only I could hear. "Almost."

Which made me fucking shudder and break out in goose bumps.

I stepped back slightly and noticed the most beautiful bouquet of lavender roses clutched in his fist. "Are those for me?" I inquired and gestured to the bundle of fragrant flowers.

"But of course they are, sweetness."

"They're so lovely. Thank you Edward," I inhaled deeply, savoring their lustrous scent.

"You're most welcome. I'm glad you like them."

"Let me just put them in some water, grab my wrap and we can go, okay?"

"Here, let me do that for you," Angela said as she walked into my kitchen to grab a vase. "That way you two can go ahead and skedaddle."

"Uh, okay, thanks Ang. You guys will lock up for me, yeah?"

"Sure thing, Swan. We gotcha covered. Remember, dinner and drinks tomorrow night," Rose reminded, getting up from the chair so she could see us out.

Angela emerged from the kitchen, having meticulously arranged my roses, and sat them on the coffee table. I went over to give her a hug and thank her profusely for all of her help. That's when I saw Rose make that weird 'I've got my eyes on you' gesture at Edward and speaking those very words at a hushed volume that I clearly was not meant to hear. What was even more mortifying was her slip and call him 'HBJ', obviously her pet name for my could-be-boyfriend.

"What the hell, Rose?" I yelped, wide-eyed and shocked that she would do something like that, even if it was an accident.

At the very same time, Edward's puzzled expression shifted from me to Rose, and he finally asked, "What does HBJ stand for?"

I stood there, mouth agape, wondering how I was going to answer his question without opening up a can of worms that needed to be left at the damn bait shop.

Rose, not blanching in the least or missing a beat, snorted, "Hella Big Johnson."

Oh. No. She. Didn't.

But she did, and suddenly I kicked into self-preservation mode, grabbing Edward by the arm and dragging him out of my apartment. Behind the closed door I could hear the muffled sounds of Rose's giggling accompanied by Angela's gasps, and I focused putting my jewely-toe-thingy-Stuart Weitzman-covered feet one in front of the other, wondering how in the bloody hell I was going to get out of this one….

I think I might have said a total of five words on the way to the restaurant. Maybe. I did know that they were all monosyllabic and only uttered in response to a question Edward asked, and thank fuck those questions didn't address the fuckery of his nickname, whether the given explanation for the acronym was correct or not. It didn't matter, because the truth was equally as bad as the misdirection. The truth would mean divulging his dad's (and my boss for that matter) very appropriately inappropriate nickname and the other meant that I had discussed at length (pun intended thank you) the juicy details of his schlong.

We pulled up to the very classy, very fancy Canlis, leaving the Rover with the valet. I'd never had the occasion to dine in such a fancy place and suddenly wished I had read more Miss Manners or Dear Abby so I would know which fork to use first. Then I remembered I had seen Pretty Woman enough times to know that Barney said to just count the tines. Easy as pie, right?

Edward greeted the maitre de, giving him his name, stating that we had a reservation at seven-thirty. "Ah, yes, Mr. Cullen. We have your table ready in the Cache room. Sir, madam, if you would follow me please."

We were led through the most elegant dining room I'd ever seen. The stone columns and glass walls overlooking the lush Seattle landscape was absolutely breathtaking. Beautiful lithographs, ornate door handles, exquisite glassworks and light fixtures created a majestic ambiance. To say I felt like a princess should sound inane, but it didn't. I had never been made to feel this special before on a date.

Arm in arm, Edward and I followed the maitre d to a secluded part of the restaurant. What I didn't realize was that the Cache room was a special treetop nook with a view of Lake Union and the surrounding Cascades. There was but a single table within the small niche, everything warmly lit with candles.

I walked over to the picturesque window view, amazed at the beauty before me. The twinkling lights of the city reflected and danced on the lake's mirrored surface. Thankful that it was such a beautiful night and for once not raining, I tried to pick out familiar landmarks, looking for my apartment building, the hospital and the office building where I worked.

I had never really thought of the Washington landscape as beautiful before, as it rained so much of the time. I thought back to when I had first moved from Phoenix so many years ago and how disappointed I initially was with my surroundings. I had been used to warm and rustic earth tones, and despite my fair complexion, I loved the southwestern sunshine. Up until now, I believed that an Arizona sunset emblazoned with rich oranges and pinks was the most mesmerizing sight ever; however, the view before me was forcing me to reconsider my opinion.

"So, what's the verdict, sweetness? Do you like it?" I felt Edward come and stand behind me, his arms encircling my waist and once again his beautiful lips a hair's breadth away from my ear. The sensation of his warm breath tickling my skin and his body heat wrapped around me made my insides dance and my heart race. I snuggled myself deeper against him, relishing in the way we just fit.

"It's perfect Edward," I confessed. "I've never seen anything so incredibly beautiful in my life." I inhaled the mouth-watering aroma of not only the food being prepared in the kitchen, but the tantalizing scent of the gorgeous man behind me. Truthfully, perfect wasn't a strong enough word to describe things accurately.

"I completely agree Ms. Swan," Edward whispered as he turned me around to face him, cupping my face in his hands. Leaning down, he softly placed his lips just barely against my own and murmured, "Those are my exact sentiments. I've never seen anything so incredibly beautiful in my life either. But I'm not talking about the view on the other side of the glass. I'm referring to the resplendent view in my arms."

Can't. Think. Can't. Breathe.

Ever so gently, Edward kissed me slow and sweet, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. I wound my arms around his waist, enfolding my body into his, completely lost in the way that our lips moved in blissful syncopation. His hands moved to the back of my neck, underneath my hair, mine sliding under his sport coat latching on to his shoulder blades.

I felt his tongue slide smoothly over my lower lip, his silent request for me to open up to him. Why yes, I think I will. Our lips parted, our tongues ardently entwined. My breath began to quicken. His hands slid from my neck to my shoulders, finally resting on my back and almost concurrently we both pulled, one to the other, as close as possible, yet somehow not close enough.

It would never be close enough…

The distinct and clear sound of someone's throat clearing reminded us that we were not alone, pulling us from the private cocoon we had tucked ourselves in. Breaking our lip lock, Edward turned around to see who was trying to get our attention. Standing at the entrance of the room was an older, distinguished looking man with a sly grin etched on his face.

"Good evening to you sir and madam, my name is Stefan. I will be your server tonight. I trust you have not had the opportunity to peruse the wine list or the menu, no?" He spoke in what sounded like a Romanian accent.

"No, sir, I'm sorry we have not. Perhaps we could have a few minutes to look things over?" Edward asked somewhat sheepishly, almost like a child that was trying to sneak dessert before dinner.

"Please, take your time. I shall come back around shortly to see if you have made any decisions. I assure you, there's no rush," he said before bowing his head and exiting the room.

Because the wine list was so extensive, we decided it best to choose what to eat and select the wine accordingly. Had we tackled the wine list first, we could have been there for hours given the fact it was over one hundred pages long. Everything on the menu sounded so divine, we thought it best to go with something tried and true like steak.

Heh. Momma does love the meat.

Stefan returned and Edward gave him our order. After telling us that he would be right back with our bottle of wine, Stefan once again gave a courteous bow before departing. Only this time I noticed he gave Edward a slight nod.

Edward took my hand. "How about we go have a seat on the chaise? Or there's a telescope in here. Want to see what's out there? Maybe we can find some interesting people to spy on."

"Why Mr. Cullen, I didn't realize voyeurism was your thing."

"I'm surprised. Surely you noticed me noticing you in class before I finally cornered you in the sauna two days ago," he said with a mischievous smile, leading me over to the chaise sofa so we could sit down.

Had it really only been two days? It truly boggled my mind because it felt like so much longer. Not only had there been such a physical rush, but the onslaught of emotions I had processed over the last forty-eight hours made me realize the strides I had taken in such a short time.

"Uh, no I didn't," I said rather matter-of-factly, "because I don't buy for a minute that you were noticing me."

"Well, then you are dreadfully unobservant," he said, his emerald gaze hypnotizing me. "Trust me, you've definitely had my attention for awhile now, and you didn't made things easy either, always sitting in the damn corner. By the way, you will now be sitting on the bike directly in front of me as you are now officially teacher's pet, just so you know."

"Assuming that I'm even coming back to your class, why would I give up my favorite bike? And furthermore, what about Betty McSpandex that has her derrière parked front and center every Wednesday? I'm pretty sure she'll try and draw blood if I take her spot."

"Well, Betty McSpandex, and any other Lycra-covered lady, will just have to get over it. I want you right in front of me from now on. Professor Spin God has spoken," Edward spoke with mock authority.

"Hmm, I make no promises Professor Spin God. You'll have to do some pretty impressive to persuade me to relinquish my spot. I'm really attached to it."

Edward reached down and picked up my hand, placing it first on his cheek and then, turning his face to my hand, he lightly kissed my palm. "You, me and a bottle of wine says that not only will you gladly give up the aforementioned spot in question, but will likely have found something much more fun to be attached to."

I'm lowering the force fields. Resistance is futile….

Hearing approaching footsteps, Edward and I turned to see Stefan bring in the bottle of wine. Edward met him at the table, where Stefan uncorked what may very well be the equivalent of sodium pentothal where I was concerned. Stefan poured just enough for Edward to take a sip and swirl in his mouth for approval. Was it complete and utter lunacy for me to jealous of a sip of wine right now? I chose not to answer myself on that one…

Edward nodded that he was pleased with the selection so Stefan could pour wine for the both of us. After doing so, Stefan informed us that our main course would be soon be served. Before Edward came back to chaise, he whispered something in the man's ear, at which he nodded and smiled with a reply of, "Yes my good sir, consider it done."

"So, whatever shall we do to pass the time while we wait for our food?" Edward pondered as he reclaimed his spot next to me on the chaise and handed me a glass of wine.

"Wow, this is really good," I said, taking a drink. "As far as passing the time, is our conversation not stimulating enough for you?"

"On the contrary, I find everything I do with you stimulating Ms. Swan. I simply thought perhaps you might indulge me with a bit of dancing before we eat."

"But there's no music in here to…." I started to say, but stopped short just as an orchestral melody filled the room.

"Ahh but there is. Will you do me the honor?"

As if I would refuse this man anything right now…

Leading me over to a space in front of the window, he placed one hand around my waist at the small of my back and took me in just slightly closer than the traditional closed dance position. Our bodies moved in time to the classic version of 'The Way You Look Tonight' by none other than 'Ol Blue Eyes himself, which just happened to be my favorite.

Completely enveloping me in his embrace, traditional closed dance position all but forgotten, Edward started singing faintly in my ear, so soft it was barely above a whisper.

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

Being in Edward's arms as he sang to me was deadly and lethal to my barely-there-resolve, and it took every ounce of discipline I had not to take full advantage of the chaise and have my way with him. I also didn't want to jeopardize our perfect evening by having to arrange bail money for being arrested for public indecency and lewd behavior. That would not have gone over well with Chief Swan at fucking all.

Fighting the good fight, I closed my eyes and lost myself in the splendor of being with Edward like this. I had never felt so swept away in my entire life. It almost seemed criminal, this euphoria that his touch brought to my soul. The reaction I had to him was just as spiritual as it was physical and engulfed every part of me.

I wondered where he learned to dance and if there was anything on the planet that he didn't do well. He told me that his sister owned her own dance studio and his entire family had been her guinea pig at some point in time while she was in training. As it turned out, Alice was the director to the Seattle Seahawks cheerleaders. Sometimes she got free tickets, and Edward asked if I might like to go to a game when football season started up again. Honestly, I'd go to a chess tournament or watch ping-pong if it meant being with him.

We continued dancing, talking and learning more about each other. It made our conversation so much more intimate and heartfelt being wrapped in each other's hold. I was about to suggest that any and all discussions between us be held in this fashion when our dinner finally arrived. True enough I was hungry for food, but the pang that I currently experienced stemmed from our broken embrace.

We made our way over to the table to nourish ourselves, not only with the delicious meal, but with each other. Laughing and talking, sharing stories from our childhoods, I was beginning to trust that Edward truly wanted something substantial with me, and that we had started to build an emotional foundation to support the physical structure already in place. Edward had told me at lunch that he wanted to fall in love, to give his heart and soul and make someone his forever. Since he had made that confession, I had been sending silent prayers to the heavens that I was the one to fill his desires, in hopes that they would be answered sooner rather than later.

"So, it's still kind of early. Did you want to come in and watch a movie or something?" I asked, not wanting the most incredible night of my life to end so soon.

"That sounds great. I, uh, I have my gym bag in my car. Would it make you uncomfortable for me to change out of these stuffy clothes?"

You're seriously asking if I mind you lessening the amount of garments covering your insanely chiseled body. Uh, that would be a hellfuckingno.

"Not at all. As long as you don't mind if I slob out myself."

"I seriously doubt that there is any article of clothing that could make you look like a slob Bella."

"Yeah, right, you'd be surprised," I nervously chuckled, trying to laugh off his compliment. Certain that I was a nice shade of magenta by now, I was thankful that it was very dark and perhaps not noticed.

Edward grabbed his gym bag and we made our way to my apartment. I told him that he could change in the bathroom if he liked, leaving me to use my bedroom. It did not escape me for a nanosecond that only lumber and thin drywall would be separating me from Professor Hotpants in a varying stage of undress. Next time I had to choose a superpower or magical attribute, I would remember this moment and go with a different answer. Screw Harry Potter's cloak, I would choose Superman's x-ray vision hands down.

Focusing myself on the task at hand, I undressed out of my princess get-up and grabbed my favorite flannel sleep pants and Blink-182 t-shirt. Even though they had gone through a brief break-up, they were still my favorite band ever. I'd been having a one-sided love affair in my head with the bass player, Mark Hoppus, for the last ten years, but the emergence of one Edward Anthony Cullen in my life suddenly had me thinking Mark who?

After clipping my hair up in a half-assed attempt at a twisty up-do, I made my way over to the shelf where I kept my DVDs to try to figure out what to watch. I didn't know Edward's taste in movies, but I knew for certain I was not about to asswhip him into some romcom. I was deep in thought, wondering if he would go for an action flick, or maybe a suspense thriller, when I felt him enter the living room.

He stood behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder and placing his hands on my hips. Again with the electricity thing. Does that ever cease, or will the sensation always be there because I really kind of dig it…

"So, what kind of flick are you in the mood for this evening, Ms. Swan?"

"Well, I was thinking that since you're the guest, I'd let you pick it, Mr. Cullen," I replied, totally failing at my attempt to keep the goofiest grin in the history of upturned corners of mouths from befalling my face.

"Okay then, Kill Bill sounds good to me. Is that alright with you?"

"Oh I can always go for a little Hattori Hanzo action," I replied turning to face Edward.

And then I completely lost all train of thought when my eyes took in the sight of what Edward had chosen to get comfortable in. Clad in a sleeveless, worn out A-Rod Mariner's jersey and basketball shorts, he looked damned gulptastic in what would've made any other Joe Blow appear totally destitute.

I looked at him, Merriam Webster's illustration for the word flawless, and then it hit me like Smokin' Joe: I was calling the shots. How fast or slow we took this thing was my decision, and the driver wanted to make out. As silly as it sounded, I wanted to mug down hardcore with my very-nearly-significant-other.

Possessed with the same bravery I had found in the sauna approximately forty-eight hours ago, I tossed the movie on the floor, Beatrix Kiddo and the whole Death List Five no longer a part of my plans. "Can I ask you a question Edward?" He nodded, obviously wondering what was going on since movie time was apparently on hold. "When was the last time you were properly macked on?"

"Wow. That's a tough one." He paused, actually trying to recall such a thing. It was really a rhetorical question, but it was amusing to see him attempt to come up with an answer. "Freshman year in college, Winter Formal I guess."

"Well, I'd say it's been to long then. Perhaps we should remedy that."

I brought his lips to mine with a tempered fervor, slow and languid. Our mouths melded together, tongues dancing and caressing. His kisses were intoxicating and I grew more inebriated by the second. This would be one hangover I would not regret.

I moved forward, gently coaxing him over to the double-wide overstuffed chair and pulled him down to sit with me. Resting our feet on the ottoman, we broke the kiss long enough to position ourselves so that we were face to face. Edward caressed my cheek, delicately stroking it as we resumed our make out session.

Edward trailed kisses along my neck, along my collar bones, tenderly licking and sucking my skin. Like warm and soothing water droplets from the most relaxing shower, his kisses streamed over my flesh, leaving tingles in their wake and rippling through my body. Legs entangled and hands caressed, learning the planes and lines of the other's body.

There were delicate moans and softly spoken 'aaahhhs' and the way he traced my mouth with his tongue was perhaps one the most titillating sensations I'd ever experienced. Our breaths remained steadfast, in harmony with each nuzzle and stroke.

Sucking face is tragically underrated, especially when it has been developed into an art form, as Professor Hotpants with the mystical tongue had clearly achieved.

Not realizing how much time had passed, we were both taken aback that it was well past midnight.

And as badly as he didn't want to, he knew he needed to go home if slow and steady was going to win the race. He gathered his things and I walked him to the door.

"Bella, I want to see you again Sunday if you're free. My family has this standing thing on Sundays, brunch at my parent's house. Would you come with me and meet the rest of the group?"

"I'd like that very much Edward. It sounds like fun."

"Great. I have an appointment with a grad student in the morning, but I could swing by and pick you up around ten-thirty. Sound okay?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"You know, I had really lost all appreciation in "getting macked on" as you called it. Thank you for reminding me just how incredible it can be, although I'm sorry you missed out on the Hattori Hanzo action." He smirked as he took me in his arms, resting his forehead against mine.

"That's quite alright. I'll take Edward Cullen action any day of the week and twice on Sunday, thank you very much," I giggled.

"Important to know. By the way, do ever plan on divulging where 'HBJ' came from?"

"I'll make a deal with you: I'll come clean on what 'HBJ' stands for when we tell your Dad that he's not eHarmony, alrighty?"

"Fair enough Bella, fair enough." He smiled, bending down to kiss me good bye. "Good night sweetness. Pleasant dreams, okay? Maybe have me in a few of them?"

"Oh I think that's a definite possibility. Good night, Edward."

With one final kiss, he gave me a gentle squeeze before leaving.

I couldn't help but replay every detail of what had truly been the perfect evening in my mind. I hugged myself as the bliss washed over me, the exhilaration coursing through my system.

And although I'd wanted to tap the brakes and slow down, which Edward respected, I was starting to think it would be alright to accelerate just a little …

A/N#2: And who says chivalry is dead?

Anywhosie, wanted to clarify the Heather Mooney reference. She's a character from "Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion" brilliantly played by Janeane Garofalo.

Canlis is a real restaurant in Seattle. Link is on my profile. I also added links to Bella's snazzy get up.

Props again to my beta momma juliebee for cleaning up my mess and dealing with my neurotic ass. As always, gracias to my PM and Texas chica RoseArcadia for being my personal valium.

Thank you to everyone who has my little ditty on alert and finds my silliness entertaining. Merci beau coup to those who have pimped me out in some way, that is truly humbling. Ear nibbles to everyone that has left me love – I get goofy stupid reading the nuggets of goodness.

Until next time! *noms*