Emma raced up the stairs to the apartment. Her heart was pounding. All she could think about was Henry's face. The look on it. 'I need to explain. He doesn't understand. I need to explain.' Her thoughts running in circles. The whole time the more terrifying thoughts pushing in at the edges. 'He must think I'm a monster.'...'Am I a monster?' "No!" She muttered angrily out loud as she flew up the last steps. Her last thought before she barge in through the apartment door was...'Oh God. What if I am a monster?' She shook the thought out fast as she entered the apartment, out of breath and well... glowing.
"Emma!"
Mary Margaret had cried out her name in surprise when she entered. Emma looked and saw her and Henry standing together in the kitchen.
"Henry!" Emma ran towards them and then quickly stopped when Mary Margaret protectively put her arms around Henry. "Emma..." Her voice was more of a low whisper now. A mixture of shock and confusion. "Emma... you... your..."
Emma looked down and realized then she was in fact glowing a dull pale purple. 'I'm a freak. I'm a such freak.' She thought, 'Calm down.. Stop feeling things..' She tried catching her breath.
"She was doing magic! In the woods with Mr. Gold..I saw them!" Henry cried out. His face full of distress. Mary Margaret held her arms around him gently. While her face took in Emma. There was something almost heartbreaking about the expression on her face. "..Emma?...You were ...doing magic...with..." She lowered her voice to even more of a shocked whisper and placed her hands over Henry's ears, "...Rumpelstilskin?"
"Ew. That. NO. You make it sound so..."
Emma was cut off by Henry pushing Mary Margaret off him exasperated, "I know who he is! Everyone knows who he is! The whole town is out of the book!"
"...Out of the book?" Mary Margaret and Emma in bewildered unison.
Henry shrugged, "Yeah that's what I've been calling it. Mostly just to myself. And my horse..."
"Ah huh." Mary Margaret nodded thoughtfully at this.
"..That's actually pretty clever, kid." Emma stuck her slowly fading hands into her pockets and grinned down at him. Forgetting for moment what they were talking about and just admiring his clever little weird adorableness.
Then Henry continued his rant, "And everyone knows that Rumpelstilskin is evil! And The Dark One! And his magic is evil!"
Oh.. Right. That. Emma felt herself sinking again. Shame. Regret. Confusion. Fear. She angrily stuffed her hands deeper in her pockets trying to hide the glow. It was always happening stronger now, and she felt she had very little control over it.
"He's worse then my mom, Emma! His magic is bad!"
"Henry.. I don't think.. this was his magic.." Mary Margaret spoke slowly and carefully, her attention back on Emma. Mary Margaret was looking at Emma as if for the first time. There was something in her expression that almost made Emma believe she knew everything. It made her want to burst into tears and she felt the glow get brighter.
"I don't understand." Henry looked at both of them.
"Neither do I kid." Emma whispered almost crying.
Mary Margaret suddenly shook her head and appeared to quickly pull herself together. "Henry, why don't you.. um.. head over to the stables? It's uh.." She looked brightly at the clock, ".. It's about the time that.. uh.. David is usually over there. Meet up with him okay?" She nodded sweetly at him in a way that said, 'this is not a request.'
"Alright.." Henry was reluctant and looked at them warily but nodded in agreement.
"Oh Henry!" Mary Margaret caught him quickly by the arm before he left, "Don't say anything. About.. this. To David. Or anyone else..Okay?"
"Okay." He looked at Emma and then back at Mary Margaret, "Is Emma.. gonna be.. Is she..?"
"Yes." Mary Margaret nodded furiously, "Yes, Yes she will be fine."
They all got the impression that she was saying this mostly to herself.
Then Henry quietly left.
-
"He said it had something to do with True Love?" Emma's voice was hoarse now, but calmer. She sat at the kitchen table with Mary Margaret and two mugs of hot coco that were nearly empty at this point. Mary Margaret had convinced her to put her hands on the table, which were pulsing now.. a dull pale purple glow. Slowly fading.. as she continued to calm herself.
"Yes, of course..." Mary Margaret shook her head in awe, "I don't know why I never...thought. I never thought that this was an option..." She trailed off thoughtfully and squinted at an empty wall.. "He was always saying he was invested in our future...I thought.. that was maybe what he said to everyone?" She shrugged pathetically at the last part.
"Ugh.." Emma let her head fall down on her arms on the table.
"But Emma!" Mary Margaret reached out to her shoulder. "Why.. Why didn't you tell us? Why were you...keeping it a secret?"
"I was scared." Came Emma's muffled response, her head still down on the table.
"Emma...we.." Mary Margaret sighed and trailed off, she sounded like she was searching for what to say.
"I know." Emma sat straight up and leaned back with a sudden onset of sarcasm, "I know! You would love me unconditionally for ever and ever and it wouldn't matter that I was a freak of nature who makes fire balls with her freakish glowy hands and god knows what other monstrous things!"
"Hey!" Mary Margaret sat up straighter too, "You are not a monster! And we DO love you no matter what!"
"Yeah. I know. Enough to throw me away into a wardrobe." Emma's dry response that she regretted even as she was saying.
"Not. Fair." Mary Margaret stood up suddenly. There was actually a darkness in her eyes and a sadness pulled across her face. "We loved you so much and we were scared. We didn't know for sure what would happen.. we only had hope." Her voice was thick and she leaned forward over the table. "And I'm sorry that I don't know what to say or do that's right. I've never... actually had a chance to be a mother before."
Emma sighed deeply at that and then started fidgeting quietly, picking at the old wooden table with her fingernail. "Well..." Her voice was back to it's usual dry flat tone and her eyes still fixed to the table, " This is what the teenage years would of been like..."
Mary Margaret sat back down with a sad smile.
"..Except... this isn't exactly the sort of..uh... physically changes... one normally goes through." Emma finished and looked up at Mary Margaret with a tiny smile.
Thy both exchanged a sad smile and a quiet moment together. Then Mary Margaret reached out her hand and grabbed Emma's, "I really do love you no matter what." Her voice quiet but full of impact. Emma lowered her face and then her hand started glowing a bright intense purple, emanating strongly across the table. Emma instinctually pulled her hand away and hid it under the table.
"Emma, Listen." Mary Margaret's tone changed to very no-nonsense. Emma briefly thought that perhaps this was her teacher voice, "True Love is a very powerful kind of magic. But just because it is born of True Love, does NOT mean it is innately good. Magic... Magic has many sources, some lighter and some darker. But once it is out in the world... Well, it's like people. They are what they are, good people... don't always do good things...in fact, we're all good and bad sometimes. And... using magic. It can be very tricky. Because..." She trailed off for a second, a look of worry passing over her face. "Using magic, practicing it, it's a lot like what drugs are in this world."
"Are you saying I'm a meth head?" Emma responded flatly with a tiny grin.
"No!... nooo. " Mary Margaret shook her head but didn't seem as amused. "You know how there are different kinds of drugs? Some are good and helpful. A cup of coffee in the morning. A little asprin. Cough syrup for when you are sick? These help. They make life a little better. Then there are drugs that alter you more completely. Drugs if used in a negative way, become... addictive. And if you are not careful, you become lost to it. That is what magic is like. If you are not careful.. you will lose yourself."
There was a pause as this last statement hung in the air.
"... Is that what happened to Regina...and Gold?" Emma finally spoke.
A light passed across Mary Margaret's eyes and she slowly smiled at her daughter. "Yeah," She nodded slowly, "I think so..."
Just then the door flew open and David rushed in with Henry right behind him.
"I heard! Henry told me!" David proclaimed slightly winded.
"Henry!" Mary Margaret twisted in her chair eyeing him accusingly.
"Okay. Don't worry," Henry announced with his hands up in the air, "I only told Grandpa. And my horse. I tell my horse everything..."
Emma sighed and brought her head back down on to the table.