Hi there, sorry for the wait! I've had so much work and no time to relax, I can't wait to graduate!

While Spencer understood his mother wasn't coming back, he took longer to accept it as fact. One night, after refusing to sleep, he stood in the hall and stamped his feet and very sensibly declared that it wasn't fair his 'first Mommy' was dead, and he was feeling 'velly swessed out'. JJ agreed with him, but all she could do was take him to her room and read to him until he was exhausted enough to fall sleep in her bed.

On another occasion, frustrated at not being able to adequately communicate what he was feeling, and angry that he felt so horrible in the first place, Spencer took everything out on his precious wooden train, throwing it down the stairs of the front porch.

"Spence, mommy will fix it." JJ offered. She knew how important his train was to him. His one familiar object amongst all the confusion. His only reminder of his birth mother, and his life before the Jareaus.

"No!" Spencer screamed. "It's dead! Dead like mom!"

JJ watched Spencer struggle to cope with everything, and it hurt. No one should have to go through what he had, especially not at three. But nothing hurt as much as the question Spencer would ask every night right before he fell asleep,

"Will you come back tomorrow?"

And JJ would nod, stroke his hair and pinky swear that she would still be with him - still be alive - when he woke up.

After a two months, and just before his third birthday, Spencer suddenly started calling JJ "Mommy". As she dished up mac and cheese on to two Spiderman plates, Spencer said, "Can I have some juice, Mommy?" JJ assumed it was a small slip from a very tired boy, but the next morning when she got a hug with "Good morning, Mommy!" and was pulled into the living room to see something funny on Spongebob with "Mommy he lives in a fruit! Inside a fruit!" she knew Spencer felt comfortable using the word, and with being part of their little family.

No matter how thrilled JJ was that Spencer was adjusting, Henry was less than impressed. Mom had one boy, and his name is Henry. Henry was meant to be the one sleeping in Mom's bed, not Spencer. Henry was supposed to be getting all the kisses, and playing cars with Mom all day. It wasn't fair.

It was a Friday night, and Henry and Spencer sat at the dining room table colouring while their mother helped Jack Hotchner - who came over most Fridays - with his maths homework.

"I hate long division!" Jack said, frustrated. He set down his pencil and rested his head on his hands.

"Well you've finished them all now, and they're all right." JJ said. "How about a snack?"

Jack nodded, closing his maths book and racing off to use the bathroom while JJ went to the kitchen to set out three glasses of milk, and a plate of cookies.

Spencer crawled on to the table and picked up Jack's maths book, looking at the pictures of happy, smiling children in a classroom on the front cover. He opened the book and looked at the questions Jack had been doing, the page bookmarked by a slightly nibbled pencil. There was one answer that wasn't right. It should be 6, not 12. Spencer picked up the green marker he had been drawing with and wrote a big 6 next to Jack's 12.

Henry was just about to tell Spencer he wasn't allowed to draw on Jack's things, but he decided not too. Henry had drawn a dragon on Jack's English book once, and Mom said she would be upset if it happened again. Well, it was going to happen again. Spencer was going to draw over everything and Mom was going to realize she had made a big mistake bringing Spencer home.

Spencer turned the page. There were more questions, and Jack hadn't got to them yet. Spencer thought he would help, so he started to fill them in, 18. 12. 36. 9. He only stopped when someone's hands came in and took the book from him.

"Spencer, no." JJ said, but her voice didn't convey any hint of anger. "We don't draw on books. This is Jack's book."

Spencer looked from his mother to the maths book. That's right, it was Jack's book. And Jack had a Daddy who was big and would probably be very angry.

"I'm sorry Mommy." Spencer managed.

"It's alright Spencer," JJ said. "But we'll try and remember next time, okay? Why don't you boys go and watch some TV? I'll bring in the snacks."

Henry scowled at his mother. Not even a telling off!

Spencer climbed down from the chair and ran from the room. He didn't want a spank.

JJ flipped through the maths book, big green marks all the way through it. She'd have to buy Jack another one. JJ tried to decipher what Spencer had drawn. At first they looked like scribbles, nothing compared to Henry's drawings of people will the correct amount of legs and arms and eyes and noses, but as she looked closer, JJ saw the pictures weren't pictures at all, they were numbers. Answers to the questions, and they were all correct. Page after page, Spencer had filled in all the answers.

JJ went to her study and set up Henry's PC game, designed to teach kids basic maths and english skills in a fun way. She needed to see just how much Spencer knew.

She took the milk and cookies in to Jack and Henry and led Spencer into the study, lifting him up and setting him down on her lap infront of the screen.

"JJ, I so sorry." Spencer said softly. He didn't call her 'Mom'. She probably didn't even want him anymore. "I wont be naughty again."

"You haven't been bad, Spencer." JJ assured him. "I brought you in here because you knew all the answers to Jack's math questions, and I want to see what else you know."

"Mommy teached me math." Spencer said. "And weading."

JJ loaded the game and Spencer pointed to the right answers before JJ could even read him the questions. She skipped to grade 4, and Spencer had no trouble answering them all, too.

There was a knock at the door, and JJ brought Hotch inside to apologize for the book and to tell him about Spencer.

"He's clearly gifted." Hotch agreed. "I don't think anything bad can come of taking him for a few tests."

JJ took the weekend to think about it, and by Monday afternoon, she decided that while Spencer was still only a baby, as Hotch had said, a few tests couldn't hurt him. The people could tell her just how smart he was, and show her ways she could teach him that would help him learn even more. JJ sat in the dining room, pencilling dates into her planner when a knock at the door and a voice calling, "Henry!" sent her eldest running for the door, and her youngest running straight for her.

"Sweetheart, it's only Will." JJ assured Spencer. Regardless, he buried his head in his mother's side and stayed there until she picked him up.

Spencer liked Will and Uncle Derek, and he liked Uncle Aaron too, but they were Henry's family, not his. They should get to have special time together like when his real mom used to read to him. He would never have a real mommy or daddy or uncle ever again, and that made Spencer sad.

"Spence, would you like to play with Will and Henry?" JJ tried. The boy shook his head. "Okay."

JJ held Spencer against her and waved to Will, who sent her a sympathetic look before beginning to set up the Nintendo Wii with Henry. She told Spencer about the tests he would be having on Thursday.

"Will it hurt?" Spencer asked.

"Of course not baby, it's going to be just like that computer game. And I'll be there with you."

Spencer nodded. He looked towards Henry and Will. Henry was waving the controller around, and he seemed happy he was winning the game. Couldn't he see Will was letting him win?

A little while later, Will took Henry to the park, so Spencer could relax. JJ took the boy to the kitchen and set him down on the bench.

"How about we make a big chocolate cake for after dinner?" She asked, knowing Spencer could not refuse.

As JJ read through the recipe book, Spencer started thinking about his dad. He knew he he had one, because while he didn't know exactly how it worked, he knew there needed to be a mommy and a daddy to have a baby.

"Mommy?" Spencer asked, confused. "Is Will my daddy too?"

"No, Spencer, he's not."

"Is my daddy coming to play with me?"

"No, but mommy with play with you."

Spencer dismissed JJ's last comment and kicked his feet against the cabnets.

"Will daddy come when I get bigger?" He asked, "Or will he come when it's July?"

"Spence, he's not going to come over." JJ pushed.

"Oh." Spencer said."Did he die, like my firstest mommy?"

"No, he didn't."

"Oh. Does he have to go to work?"

"Um, well, yes, but -"

"Maybe on a Saturday we can go to the Zoo."

JJ knew how jealous Spencer had been when Will took Henry to the Zoo the previous week, she didn't think Spencer had ever been.

"Look, Spence -"

"Is my daddy's name Brian? Or is it John? Does he work at the work you work?"

Spencer began to bombard JJ with questions that she didn't know how to answer. She couldn't distract him with shiny things, candy, or by simply changing the subject like she could with Henry. He was far too precocious. Besides, maybe it was time he knew.

"Spencer, " She said seriously. "Your daddy isn't coming. Not ever."

"Uh-huh." Spencer said, nodding. She could see the disappointment. "Oh."

"Sometimes, even though a daddy really loves his boy, he can't look after him."

"We could give the mail carrier some money to take to my daddy. Then he could ride the bus."

"But," JJ said, ignoring Spencer. "The daddy gives his son to someone who he knows will love him, and take good care of him."

Spencer took a moment.

"That's you!" He said, tapping JJ and starting to play with her hair.

"Yeah, that's me."

There was a long pause, JJ went to the cupboard for the flour and eggs, Spencer continued looked through the recipe book.

"If my firstest mommy didn't die, you would have one boy." He said matter-of-factly, holding up one finger. He giggled, then gave JJ a big smile. She didn't return it.

Next : Spencer turns three.

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