Chapter - 4
Spock's movements were swift. He had the benefit of youth of course, but he also had something more that provided him an advantage over the Ambassador. With the aid of Lieutenant Uhura, Spock had learned to embrace his humanity. In doing so he often experienced not only fear and trepidation, but the illogical willingness to act even in the face of fear.
Spock swiftly leaned forward, as his hand touched that of the elder Vulcan; he felt a surge of energy. This energy differed from that of a mind meld. He found himself looking into his own eyes. He began to delve into the mind of the elder Vulcan. He was unsurprised to encounter a strong sense of duty, but he was shocked at the pent up emotions that he Ambassador Spock had stowed away for over a century. He felt jealousy toward Kirk, hurt and such intense loneliness. As he moved forward in the ambassador's mind, he found a glimmer of the longing that Ambassador Spock had once felt for the Nyota in his own reality. This remaining feeling was like a small ember glowing at the back of his mind.
Spock moved deeper into his consciousness of Ambassador Spock, drawing the Ambassador closer, he placed his hand on his Psi Points releasing a part of his own experience with his own Nyota.
Spock shared his Nyota, the one human woman who stood by Spock when he was insulted by humans on the streets of San Francisco or when he was rejected by his colleagues at the academy. She was the one woman who held him in her arms and showed him unconditional love and how to love her back. As Spock released this part of himself, as he made the final push forward he captured Ambassador Spock's Katra. As he felt the Ambassador begin to falter, so he gently released it. Ambassador Spock staggered forward, staring at the younger version of himself. Spock had learned to synthesize the elements of both species in a way that resulted in optimal functioning. He had evolved beyond any Human or Vulcan. He was a new species.
As he regained his composure, Ambassador Spock looked into the eyes of the younger Spock. They revealed a hint of his humanity within, despite the stoic Vulcan façade. He now saw what Lieutenant Uhura had seen in both realities and realized that finally Spock had begun to see it for himself.
Ambassador Spock shuddered to think of how he had destroyed the life of this Spock simply because of his selfish desires to recreate the reality he had known before. It was madness and cruelty. All that Spock had worked for, his career, his bond-mate, his home world and his mother were gone. It is no wonder that he was willing to die in order to kill Nero. The mind meld revealed that it had been his plan to perish when he boarded the Vulcan ship. When these plans were derailed by Scotty, he had nothing left but to resign himself to rebuild Vulcan society.
As Spock held Ambassador Spock upright, he whispered raspingly, "You have not destroyed my life. Go to New Vulcan, I will return for you when it is time to set things straight." Ambassador Spock's lips curled at the use of the Terran colloquialism. "I must find my k'hat'n'dlawa and reclaim my life."
k'hat'n'dlawa(The other half of my heart)