Disclaimer: The following is a KhaosOmega fanfic. Mario Kart: Double Dash belongs to Nintendo. Ken "The Hawk" Harrelson owns the "You gotta be bleeping me" line. The plot and the Inferno Angels are of my design, and belong to me. Please support the official release.
Chapter Four: Dino Dino Jungle
What was with the guy selecting the lineup for the All Cup Tour's random selections? It's like he has a grudge against me or something. I mean, seriously, every random track so far has been my least favorites in increasing favoritism order. This better not continue all the way until Rainbow Road.
Well, anyway, this round didn't start out good for me... and that was BEFORE the race even started. One of the officials hauled me into a room near the garage where i told the guy about Waluigi owing me a new cellphone for throwing the explosive that led to freezing water getting into its circuits. Course, he retorts by saying i'm the one at fault for not bailing prior to the explosion that knocked us out of round three and for keeping it in my pocket the entire time. He then says that for punching a defenseless Lakitu on the nose and stealing his cloud i would be forced to walk to each of the remaining circuit entry points for the rest of the All Cup Tour.
"YOU GOTTA BE BLEEPING ME! Bowser punched me full force in the face for that! That punch hurt so much i was crying for twenty minutes." I yelled at the guy.
"Now that you mention Bowser making you cry, i don't think he did a good enough job in my book. I'll give him two more chances to really get to ya prior to round five. And to really do a number, it'll be when he does those moves when you find out what he chose to do." Well, once he said that i'd have a slight outfit change before this race started i was a little optimistic, thinking i'd be able to improve my stamina a little. Turns out the changes he had planned for me was a lengthening of my dress to keep it ground-length as my heels were switched for a higher-heeled pair. The heels he gave me were forest green, five and a half inches in the heel with a one inch platform to slightly counter the height. I had started the sixteen-race tournament with my usual three-inch heels, however my dress was lengthened FOUR inches instead of two and a half to counter the new heels.
Anyway, this race didn't start out well. We managed to avoid another dud start this time only because i had forgotten to turn the engine on prior to the usual Lakitu Countdown Sequence. Once i got the engine running (and i don't mean literally running away) we were off. Things only went from bad to worse still as the giant dino, furious for me practically kicking him in the eye, stomped full force onto the front of the kart to knock us out of the race, and then fully destroyed it for insurance. Making matters even worse was the fact everyone AGAIN finished exactly where they started, though the Monkeys had to pass the Mushrooms at the last second to make sure it happened that way.
After four races the points stood like this:
The Inferno Angels: 60
The Mario Bros.: 48
Storm Rush: 40
The Wario Bros.: 32
Team Troopa: 28
Team Bowser: 24
The Babies: 20
Team Ultra: 16
Team Dino: 12
The Monkeys: 8
The Mushrooms: 4
Team Peach: 0
Oh, boy. Things weren't looking all that well for me and Daisy. Everyone was in the paddock waiting for the announcement of round five's race location.
'I hope it isn't Dry Dry Desert. That would make my four least favorite random tracks, with how much i like the circuit increasing, in the first four random track races.' This time i said that hope in my head, as i figured if the guy selecting which random track is which round, he won't know which one i don't want next. Then the announcement came: Dry Dry Desert was round five.
"Uh oh. We're gonna have a hard time dealing with the heat there, IA1." One of the Inferno Angels was heard saying to her teammate.
"Don't forget, IA2, we're both pyrokinetics, we might be able to absorb enough of the heat to make it harmless to us." IA1 replied. Why did their voices sound familiar? Perhaps the voices were related to who i thought the Inferno Angels were. My reaction to the track selection then took that particular moment to burst out.
"YOU GOTTA BE BLEEPING ME REALLY BIG! IS THIS GUY PSYCHIC? HOW DID HE KNOW I DIDN'T WANT THAT TRACK NEXT?" i yelled at the discovery of round five's location. One League official then said the remaining ten random tracks would all be decided after the next race. I wasn't sure if i could even make it to the next track, being forced to walk there in these higher heels i got stuck with. Everyone else got there in fifteen minutes thanks to the air-conditioned bus. It took me six times as long as i had to get used to these higher heels first. Once i got there i saw a dirty grin on Bowser's face standing in front of the entrance point. He took me aside, charging up a mysterious red sphere in his hands. After i saw it reach a dangerous size i instinctively pulled a random Toad out of thin air as a shield. There was no sound of his technique being launched. I ended up finding out why he never fired then the hard way, getting drilled in the chest by the move once i put my shield down. Dazed slightly, i chanced a glance at my dress. Most of its front side was covered in a red stain.
'Darn it. He held up when i deployed that shield, launching his Zelkorix move once my guard was down. What is he, some kind of strategist?' Of course, he just HAD to wait until i dropped my guard to let me have it. Moments later one of his hands had me pinned against a wall and he proceeded to create a large gash dangerously close to my right eye using one of the claws on his free hand. Then, with a bleeding face and a ruined dress, i finally entered the paddock for round five.