A/N: (Hello one and all! How is everybody? Good I hope. This installment is very unusual so I don't blame you if it isn't exactly your cup of tea. And I really would like some reviews folks, it would really make me feel better. Cuz I don't want to continue if nobody likes it, so please, faithful-yet-unreviewing-readers please review! You can all have...another writer already took the cookie idea...but how about a brownie! Sounds good to me! Anywayz, please enjoy, and remember, reviewers get a free brownie! Luv ya all lotz and thanks for reading! Laterz, -Writing Fairy- P.S. TETC you need to update so bad it's not even funny and so do you RoonilWazlib42 and so does lizzybizzybee and RascalFlattsandJackSparrowFan and like several thousand other people that I'm too lazy to type out right now. So just do as I say cuz I am the Writing Fairy and I am ALWAYS right!)
Chapter 4, Easier Being A Scalawag
I laid down to sleep that night my body humming with anticipation. I was setting sail the next day and I still hadn't seen my goddamned ship! Alex said I couldn't until I was setting sail. He wouldn't even tell me what he had christened it! I also didn't get to pick the crew. He had done that for me. I didn't get any say in anything apparently. Even though I'm the captain. Cuz that makes perfect sense.
I rolled over and stared out into the dark night, watching night ships pull in and unload their cargo and ships that stayed there and remained silent, waiting for the sun to warm their sails. This was taking too long!
Snap...turn...squeak...squeak...click.
I closed my eyes and held perfectly still. Somebody was in my room. That had been the door, I knew it. The only question I still had was: Who the hell was padding around my domain?
A chair was pulled up next to my bed and a hand ran through my hair. Okay, that's Alex. I untensed and breathed lightly. His hand moved to my cheek, softly running a finger along my skin. I was getting impatient. He wasn't trying to shake me awake, he wasn't speaking to me like I was asleep. I was bored. So enough was enough, "Alex, what are you doing?" I murmured quietly, opening my eyes and sitting up, propping myself up against my pillows. He wasn't surprised I was up, I think he had expected me to be.
"I don't know." He replied with a sigh. We were quiet for a moment before he asked softly, "Can I stay in here for tonight?" His words struck me kind of hard. First off, I had no idea of his intent, which was odd because I was pretty good at least at getting a gist of things, second off, he seemed sad. It was then that I realized all he was wearing was a pair of pants. I was also rather consciously aware of the fact that only a thin blue night gown separated me from the rest of the world. But I looked into his dark blue eyes and took a risk. I trusted him. There was nothing more than I needed to know.
"Yeah." I consented with a light-trying-to-be-carefree smile as I laid down on my back again. This whole situation reeked of awkward. And I think Alex meant it to be though I have no idea why in the code he'd want that, but he slid right over me. Like seriously. His hands rested on either side of my head as he stared me straight in the eyes and slid his torso across the silk material of mine. My breath was completely caught in my chest. When he finally, after what felt like a freaking eternity, laid down on the other side of me he propped himself up on his elbow so his chest was against my side and his hand was laid nonchalantly across my breasts. The whole gesture seemed kind of...possessive.
So, I relied on the old turn-this-whole-awkward-situation-into-a-mocking-joke. Cuz it worked so well last time! "So, Mr. Michaels," I said dramatically with a sly smirk, "Are you trying to seduce me?"
"Desi..." He groaned, agitated, running his hand through his hair.
"What?" I asked defiantly.
Alex stopped, looked me in the eyes, and said sadly, "This is going to be your last night here most likely until our wedding in two months. Are we just going to say good bye at the docks and leave it at that?"
I pursed my lips and didn't say a word. Trust. That apparently didn't mean whatever the hell I thought it had meant.
His body slid over mine and I could see his toned muscles even in the dim lights. His hands ran through my hair and he kissed my neck murmuring, "God, Des, I'm gonna miss you like hell."
I swallowed my feelings at the moment and said reluctantly, "I personally never thought much of the place."
Alex stopped and looked at me, "You're forcing yourself to say this stuff." He grinned, "I know this idea isn't all that objected by you." His hands fell down to my thighs and I could feel the silk moving up. I shivered involuntarily. I didn't want this. Okay, maybe I did, but it felt wrong. Right then it felt wrong.
"We shouldn't..." I stuttered, "My parents...they're right down the hall..."
"And we're engaged." Alex whispered smoothly into my ear.
"... But not married..." I was quickly running out of the power to repress my yearning for him. My night gown was now in tangles around my waist, his hands pressing lightly against my stomach. "...what if I get pregnant?..." I finally asked him softly. I really hadn't wanted to say it, but he had really left me no choice. He wasn't backing off and I wasn't of any right mind to toss him off.
He paused and murmured absently, "And if you do? I'd never leave you."
Shit. This was just not working well. Not well at all. Yet he stopped shifting my night gown up...only to take off his pants. Fabulous. Just downright fabulous.
He flung the pants across the chair next to my bed, the one he had pulled up, and my protesting mind couldn't let this go on any further.
"Alex, I don't think this is your most brilliant idea." I told him cautiously. He completely ignored me. He ignored me! And before I knew it my nightgown had joined his pants and goose bumps appeared on my skin almost immediately. This whole ordeal was making me so damn nervous! "ALEX!" I finally said loudly, grabbing his arm just as he was about to wrap it around me.
His blue eyes met mine as he asked quietly, "Do you trust me?"
I stared hard at him for a moment before responding, "Yes."
We were both silent for a long time before he asked gently, questioningly, in a pleading tone, "Do you love me?" He studied my face for a long time as I struggled with answering that question. Yes would mean...yeah. No would be wrong. A complete lie. Yes would be...yes to more than just that question. Damn him. Sure, ya love me but you still back me into a damn corner so damn tight I can't get out of it.
It was a long time before my voice reached his waiting ears, "Yes."
ooo
I woke up just as the sun was peaking over the horizon. I turned over to look out the window and my eyes rested upon Alex lying next to me. Last night...last night had been great. I wasn't gonna lie. No regrets. Not really. Yeah, I wish we had waited. Nothing I could do to change that though so I wasn't gonna lose sleep over it. I pulled on my pirates garb thinking deeply. Maybe this was all for the better. A kind of promise until I returned. I shook my head as I pulled on my bandana, which of course made the latter difficult, but I couldn't help it. My feelings were all so jumbled at this point. I quickly decided some fresh air would do me good so I slipped on my boots quietly before leaning in, kissing his lips lightly, and leaving the room much softer than he had entered. I ended up down at my old trusty length of gate. I sat down, this time not falling. It felt great being in these clothes again. Alex would kill me if he knew I was out there dressed as such but he needn't know, now did he?
I ran my hands along my legs in a nervous habit I had picked up only recently. I had never needed one before staying at Port Royal but being a lady was absolutely nerve-wracking on a level that was so intense...you tended to be forced to jitter. So I'd run my hands along the skirt of my dress to relieve the tension in them. I was practically creating sparks with how fast my hands were moving back and forth. Flashes of last night were randomly coming to me, it had been more surreal that anything else at the time.
Alex's skin, warm against mine. The touch of his hands on my sides, his breath light on my cheeks. The simple but meaningful words "I love you" murmured again and again.
A glint of gold caught my eye as I rubbed my hands along my thighs in agitation. I stopped and lifted my left hand up to study the perfection of the ring Alex had proposed to me with. It wasn't raised, I love how he knew that the first thing that would've happened to that sucker is that the diamond would've popped right off had it been. The diamond was traditional, a long unbroken strip that adorned the top of the circular promise. And it was gold. That was one smart man. It surprised me just how much he understood me just from that little ring. That told me all that I really needed to know. I sighed and tilted my head back. It was absolutely crazy but I just didn't feel like me anymore. I really didn't.
It felt like there was more to me now. I wasn't alone.
Fingers ran through my hair as his lips pressed fiercely against my own. His hands slipped around my back, holding me tightly as his mouth moved to my neck.
A tingling feeling went up my spine. What the hell had I been thinking last night! I cursed loudly. Why didn't I just tell him no and walk away! Now I had this to deal with before I left for sea! I suddenly felt so attached to him, so close. We had no more secrets, I think that was the sadness that I felt at the moment. The fact that we were out of unknown boundaries before we had even said 'I do'. I don't know if that makes any sense...I ran my hand through my hair in confusion. Why today? Any other day and I would've had all the time in the world to think about this. But not today. Today I had a ship to command.
ooo
The sun rose what felt like an instant later, cutting off anymore regrets about the night before. With the sun my worries vanished. It was hard to be anxious with the sun smiling down at you and the waters sparkling, inviting you to come and sail.
I walked back up to the house slowly, just drinking in the perfection of the day. It was a great day to sail , I could feel it all around, in the light breeze blowing away from the port, in the clear, cloudless sky. The feeling that I needed to get out of there versus a need to stay. The feeling that Jack was in trouble versus my sudden attachment to Alex. The feeling that I needed to be...code help me, who knows why in the world Jack was there...at Cannibal Island (which was a completely justified name, I'm telling you right now) versus my need to stay at Port Royal and help with the wedding.
WHAT! Stay at Port Royal and help with the wedding! What the hell was wrong with me! I shook my head frowning as I came closer to the door of the house.
"Hey." A soft voice greeted me, "I woke up and you were gone."
"Sorry. I needed...I needed some fresh air." I murmured a response as I stared at the ground. He came forward and wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head on his chest. I reached up and ran my fingers along the hair on the back of his neck, it was damp from his shower and his breath smelled with a faint hint of coffee. I looked up at him questioningly.
"I figured you needed some time alone and I had to do something to occupy myself so I didn't race off after you." Alex smiled softly as he held up a medium stemmed blue rose. I smirked. He hooked it behind my ear and leaned forward kissing me lightly. I rested my hands lightly on his crisp white shirt, a lot like my own, as he held me close. This was crazy. This was just so messed up. Since when had we become the lovey-dovey mushy couple?
The answer popped in my head almost immediately and I winced: since last night.
He lifted my chin up so my eyes met his, "Any regrets?"
"I don't regret what we did if that's what you mean." I fudged.
His grip on me became tighter, "What do you regret?"
I bit my lip, "The when part of this whole thing."
"I'm sorry." He murmured quietly.
I pulled away, "Alex, that's not what I want to hear right now! What I want to hear right now, Alex, is that it's all okay!" My voice shook with emotion. "If you're sorry that means that something's wrong and if something's wrong then we were just being stupid, cuz that means that I guess I'm sorry too because I have no idea if we should've done what we did last night, so don't you damn well tell me you're sorry!" I yelled, my voice cracking as I pressed myself against him, scared as hell as my eyes welled with tears. The first since when I was...since I was nineteen. It's kind of funny that when your scared of someone you love or mad at someone you love the first thing you do is run right to them. Because you know you can tell them and they'll still love you, no matter what.
He wrapped his arms around me, clearly stunned. "I didn't mean it that way Des. I meant I was sorry that I pushed you into doing it. I don't regret any of it, not for one moment."
"I...I'm sorry. I just, I don't know what's wrong with me." I whispered into his chest, shivering slightly. I also seemed to have a chronic case of the chills, if nobody else has noticed.
"You're scared." Alex informed me softly, with a gentle smile, "And Des, it's okay to be scared."
"I dunno." was all I could breathe. Finally I looked up at him and confessed seriously, "You know I love you, right? I know I don't say it very often, but I do love you."
His eyes shown brightly and his whole face seemed to light up, "Some part of me always knows Desi."
ooo
I jumped up and down on the balls of my feet as I watched the boat pull into the dock. I was nearly out of myself with excitement.
"Calm down dear. You're going to give yourself a fit." Juliana laughed.
"Oh, bullocks! I can't wait mother, I just can't wait!" I grinned excitedly. I was acting like a child around Christmas time, but I didn't care. The sea was waiting!
Juliana looked at me in shock. I hadn't exactly welcomed her and Haus with open arms, and me calling her mom was a huge step. Though it had kinda been an accident I wasn't about to take it back.
"You promise you'll be careful?" Haus asked me, arching his brow.
"Always!" I exclaimed as I took in everything from the graceful curves from the bow to the stern to the wonderful bronze color the ship had in the morning light to the pearly white sails and the gleaming floors to...to the steering wheel. Up on the higher deck it stood, tall and in control. Captain Desi Sparrow had her ship! I glanced at the side of the hull to catch a glimpse at the title but it was covered by a sheet.
"That's mean Alex!" I called up to him as he walked down the gang plank.
"You'll find out soon enough." He smirked. He hugged me tightly and I basked in the scent of sea on his clothes. What a wonderful thing to smell of!
"Oh, here, you might want this." I told him, reaching down my trousers to hand him a rolled up piece of parchment.
"What is it?" He asked, a glint in his eye as he unrolled it.
"It's a map." I explained, "To all of your trading routes. The right ways to go."
He looked at me in shock, "So your the one changing all my maps!"
"Right you are." I smirked, "And do try to remember to carry your ones and coordinates are not just random dots on the map, their places my dear. You can't just give a general direction to a place. Coordinates are coordinates and you can't go through the middle of an island and such. You also have to take under consideration that most of your cargo boats are far too large to make it down certain rivers so be careful when plotting directions that you make the route accessible to your captain or yourself. And dear, it takes time to get to a place, you can't promise to get shipments there unless you account for the proper amount of clicks between one area and another. And taking into account weather condition would not hurt either. Please try to remember all that. I've written it all on the back of the map so do try not to run yourself aground." I sighed. I was more worried about him than me.
Alex's men had been helping my new crew load all of the supplies aboard but sailors run on gossip, they don't get much life on land so they spend their time gossiping. Half of Alex's men dropped what they were holding. His first mate came up and asked dumbfounded, "So your the one that's getting us where we need to be. Warning us of weather conditions and giving us appropriate times."
"Hole in one, mate." I grinned.
"You're the one that sent us around Cannibal Island!" One sailor complained.
"Sorry." I apologized weakly, "I like to avoid that island at all costs but it was the quickest way seeing as Alex had given them an impossible time unless you took a fairly dangerous route. It was inevitable." The sailor walked away grumbling.
"This crew's going to have a mighty fine captain." Alex's first mate tipped his hat at me appreciatively.
"Glad to see somebody thinks I'm going to live." I grinned at him.
Alex just shook his head and laughed.
ooo
Alex ran off to grab some last minute item I apparently really needed and I had a favor to ask of Juliana -I mean, my mother.
"Juliana?" I called to where she was standing off to the side, leaning against a railing. Much like the first day I had returned to Port Royal and spoken with Alex.
"Yes?" She responded.
"Could you...Could you do something for me?" I asked her as I came up.
"Sure, anything." She responded with a gentle smile. Some part of me kinda wished I was as good at being a lady as she was. Most of me didn't.
"Could you help Alex with the wedding?" I choked out. It was kind of a pride smasher to ask her to do something this important, but who else was going to give him a hand?
Juliana was speechless. She pressed her hand against her chest and said, "Of course. There's nothing I'd rather do." And she was so sincere about it too! It was like it...meant so much to her.
"Thanks." I smiled.
"Your welcome."
I looked at the ground, then back up and smirked, "Just nothing pink and frilly okay?"
She laughed, "Wouldn't dream of it."
ooo
Finally all of MY crew were lined up in front of me. George, Kiko, Lenny, Willy, Oliver, Horace, Charlie, and Demian. Hold up! Demian? Demian, Demian as in Alex's best friend, Demian! Sure I liked the guy but this totally wasn't an accident or just because! He was there to give Alex the scoop when we reunited. I was so furious-
"So you trust me do you?" I asked him coldly, my gaze directed at Demian.
"What?" Alex asked, surprised at my tone.
"You're sending Demian." was my unbelieving response.
"I couldn't find another sailor that would sail under the captaining of a woman, Des. Do you know how hard it was to find a crew that was okay with that? And you needed one more person. Demian's reliable, trustable, and dependant. He'd make a good first mate!" Alex ended teasingly.
I just laughed. "I am just so out of it today." I sighed.
"You're trying to find a reason to be mad at me." He informed me, an amused tone in his voice.
"Maybe I am..." I trailed off slowly. "Now can I know the name of my ship!" I begged desperately. This was going to kill me if he didn't tell me soon!
"Of course." He smiled. "Haul it down!" He called to two of his crew members holding two ropes attached to the sheet covering the name.
In curly gold letters that sparkled in the sunlight it said:
The Emerald Songbird
ooo
Everyone boarded ship, everything was ready. All were accounted for...except for me.
Alex cradled my cheek in his hand. "You're going to be back." He said it more like an order.
"There's no need to worry about Captain Desi Sparrow." I smirked, but my voice was soft. Leaving was harder than I had thought it would be. But Cannibal Island was calling my name, Jack was in trouble, and only I was going to be able to get him out. So off I must sail.
Alex pulled me to him and kissed me deeply. "Get your ass back here as soon as you can and if you miss our wedding when I die I will haunt you, then when you die I'll haunt your ghost."
"Lovely departing phrase." I complimented dryly. He just shook his head and handed me an ink green book he had pulled from some magic place on his person. "This is going to be your captains log. Everything goes in here, got it?"
"Yessir." I mocked.
"I'm not kidding. And here." He offered, yanking the second sword off of his belt. I had been curious as to why he was carrying around two... "I had Will Turner, the blacksmith, make it for you weeks ago. I heard you complaining about losing one from Barbosa's stupidity. And I figure it could come in handy."
"Thanks." I choked out, almost speechless. Little did he know that I actually knew Will, but whatever. "Give Will my thanks and congrats on his marriage. I think I missed it..." I mused before walking away.
"Wait, you know William Turner?" Alex asked confused.
"A tale for a day when I don't have to set sail." I teased.
He shook his head, "Go on." He encouraged.
My smile was tilted and almost forced as I walked the gangplank. I tipped my hat to various crew members that I did not yet know the name of very well and they responded with a grin and another hat tip. "Demian, a word!" I barked as I came upon my steering wheel. God, it felt good to be on a boat again!
"Yes Captain?" He asked coming up in front of me. Good boy. He's already aware of the chain of command.
I tossed him a hat and said, "First mate'll fit you well. Pay attention and step lively. Back to your post." I paused, "Oh, and Demian?"
"Yes ma'am?"
"Don't think just cuz we're friends I'll go easy on you." I warned him lightly.
"Wouldn't dream of it Captain." Demian responded seriously, but there was a sparkle in his eyes that assured me he didn't take it seriously. With that he walked off. He'd learn. Oh, he'd learn quickly enough.
I smirked, foolish boy. "Hoist the anchors! Open the sails!" I ordered, "I wanna see the sun rise head on tomorrow so you best stay on course!" They set to work immediately, running here and running there, doing this and doing that. I looked over at the port lazily and caught Alex's amused gaze. I tipped my hat with a very devilish grin across my lips. He smiled back and saluted mockingly. I laughed.
My eyes moved to stare at the steering wheel and I ran my hands along the pegs sticking out the circular band with ease. It was then that the oddest sensation came over me. But they were all smiling as I sang it. It just reminded me of a certain pirate...and a song I absolutely hated. But it seemed...appropriate, "Yo, ho, Yo, ho, a pirates life for me." I smirked and the crew laughed, chorusing the last line with me, "And REALLY bad eggs."