NB: there are a few changes to the original ideas of the books. For example, as you probably figured out, Bella is not immune to Jane and Alec's powers. Please R&R!

TRUTH

I woke up suddenly, snapping into a sitting position. Edward's face was the first I saw, his eyes expressing obvious concern. Carlisle stood beside Edward, glancing down at me with the same concern in his eyes, but also with immense shock.

And I realised immediately why – vampires don't faint.

"What's wrong with me?" I said desperately, unable to raise my voice above a whisper. "What happened?"

Carlisle paused, glancing at Edward. But Edward's eyes were unyielding, glued to my own.

"We were hoping you could should some light on that, Bella," Carlisle replied. He perched on the edge of the sofa I was lying on. "I am afraid that I have no idea. It is simply impossible."

I stared back at Edward, my lip quivering ever so slightly. Edward arched an eyebrow. He sighed and glanced briefly at Carlisle.

"Can I speak to Bella alone for a moment?" He asked, flawlessly polite.

Carlisle stood, squeezed his son's shoulder and left the room. I only then noticed Alice standing in the doorway, as Carlisle eased her out of the room with him.

Edward turned back to me, and paced his right palm against my cheekbone. He left it there for a long moment, while I peeked at it out of the corner of my eye.

"How do you feel?" He asked, his hand slipping down my neck to rest against my collarbone. I felt like shivering, even though his hand was a now comfortable warm temperature to me.

"I feel…," I paused, thinking to myself. How did I feel? Confused, sure – I still did not know the truth about Edward that Carlisle had been talking about. I also felt thirsty – that was to be expected, as I was technically still very much a new-born. But, underneath all of that, I felt a tender mixture of happy and sad, as Edward was here, touching me, but I wasn't entirely sure that he would want me. And to add further complications, I still felt tired, mentally exhausted. I felt like I needed to lay in a dark room in silence. Perhaps I was just overly stressed – if vampires could be stressed.

"I feel tired," I muttered. I was suddenly even more aware of his hand. He had – perhaps absentmindedly, perhaps not – lowered his hand to rest at the top of my ribcage, delicately pressing the skin there through my cotton shirt. His fingers pressed slightly harder as he processed my words.

"Tired?"

I nodded, and desperate to reassure him, I added: "Only a little bit, though."

He moved closer to me, leaning his body down to hover just inches from my own. I had the sudden desire to close the distance entirely.

"That's…unheard of, Bella."

I nodded solemnly. I knew I was strange, but I didn't realise that I was unheard of. I sighed and sat up again. Edward only moved slightly, and now our bodies were touching almost everywhere. His arms stretched out on either side of me, as he watched my change of expression with a new kind of curiosity. I knew what I had to do, of course. I had to tell him my truth, if I was to hear his. It was only fair, after all.

My gift was something that I was still exploring myself. However, I knew from Aro's response to it, that it was something pretty rare and, moreover, valuable. If in the wrong hands, like Aro's, I could be a part of something extremely damaging to not only the vampire world, but to the human world as well.

I grasped Edward's hands in mine and looked up at him.

"I need to tell you something, but you need to promise me something first," I started, feeling suddenly nervous. I wondered if his opinion of me would change after I told him. Well, there was only one way to find out.

"Anything," he said quietly. "You can tell me anything, Bella, and in exchange I will promise you anything."

I nodded confidently, as I had expected that kind of answer.

"You need to promise me that you won't interrupt me – at any point. You have to promise me that you will wait until I have explained everything."

He nodded quickly, and I placed a finger to his bottom lip. His eyes closed slightly for a second, before he regained his composure and exhaled against my skin.

"And, you have to promise me that you won't blame yourself – for any of what I am about to tell you. You know I believe in fate and destiny: it would have happened anyway, I am sure of it. But what I will tell you, what happened to me when you were gone, it will hurt. I know it will. But please, please don't beat yourself up over it. Promise?"

He thought it over for a second, his eyes darting back and forth across my face. He nodded and I relaxed back against the sofa, and, still clasping his hands, began my story.

"It was hard, in the very beginning. And 'hard', trust me, is an understatement. I was in a very dark place when you left…," I paused as Edward let his face drop. "Remember your promise," I breathed as I lifted his face up. He nodded and gestured for me to continue.

"The first few weeks were beyond difficult. But, I took it one day at a time. I stayed in a routine, and after a while I was able to convince Charlie that I would be okay, but still remained unable to convince myself. But I did what I knew I should have done. I went to school every day and maintained perfect grades, I made dinner for Charlie, and I even tried to keep up a conversation with him while we ate. And then I would lay in my bed every night and beg myself to keep the nightmares away – just for one night. But, of course, I couldn't. And when I would wake up, I would try to stifle my screams, because I knew they terrified Charlie more than my nightmares terrified me. But, I would get up every morning – I would make myself get up every morning – and I would try and forget about the…loneliness."

I paused again, as Edward scrunched up his face.

"I'm sorry," he said miserably.

"You're interrupting me," I scolded lightly.

He gave me the faintest smile. "I'm sorry," he said again.

I rolled my eyes as I continued.

"And, for a while I thought that it was just a waiting game. You would either come back to me, or I would find some way to try and make something of my life without you. I, of course, prayed for the first option. But then, one afternoon I was home by myself. It was a Saturday, but Charlie was busy with work all day, so it was just me. And I was standing in the kitchen, staring out the window at the rain, while I drank a glass of water. And I heard a knock at the door. I remember answering it, and then feeling the glass slip between my fingers and smash on the ground. The water saturated my feet, while I stared at her. Victoria."

Edward snapped his teeth together at her name, but I continued.

"I was certain that she was there to kill me. And everything inside was screaming at me, yelling as loud as I internally could, to run and hide. But I stood there. And then she told me her intentions: to murder me, as I had expected. But something changed in me, I felt something. I had to stop her. I'll admit, and this is the really hard part, Edward-" I muttered, glancing away from his eyes. I didn't want to see the pain there while I told him something that I had not yet admitted to myself.

"Edward, I was okay with dying. In fact, I kind of wanted it by that point."

When I raised my eyes to be level again with his own, I immediately regretted telling him. His eyes prickled again, like my own had. I knew he was crying, and soon after I followed.

"But, then this desire, this overpowering want and need to stop her in her tracks took over. I told her that you had left, that killing me would be pointless, because it wouldn't hurt you. And she actually thought about it – she actually paused, long enough for me to keep convincing her. And then I begged her, I told her that James wouldn't want her to kill me. Because now that would lead to nothing – no justice for him at all. And then I thought that I had beaten her, because she seemed resolved. And she told me that she wasn't going to kill me. I felt…happy, or as close to that as I could be. It was a strange feeling, knowing that I had fought off death on my own. But-" I paused again, exhaling loudly. "We don't always keep our promises, do we?"

He smiled darkly, before placing a hand against my neck. He didn't know that his skin was now flush against the place where Victoria had bitten me.

"And she attacked me, suddenly. I remember being angry," I laughed darkly, matching his smile. "How absurd – I was being murdered but I was angry not because of that, but because she had lied so well to my face. And when she left me in my own blood – what was left of it that is – I felt like she had slapped me across the face. It was the insult after the injury: she was going to leave me to die, and worse she was going to leave my body so that Charlie would find me. And then what would happen – a girl, dead, left drained of her blood, bite marks in her throat?" Edward's hand suddenly dropped from my neck in horror.

"And I just laid there, waiting. I wasn't sure what would happen. I didn't have the strength to move, even though I desperately wanted to drag myself to the woods and bury myself. I couldn't stand the thought of Charlie finding me. If he never saw me, if he never had physical proof that I had died, perhaps he would still have hope. But, was that really the lesser of two evils? I wasn't sure. As I pondered over this, it occurred to me that it was taking an extraordinarily long time to die. But, when the pain really set in, as she had broken my back, I think and I couldn't feel anything for a while, I realised that I could move. I wasn't getting weaker, I was getting stronger. When it was so unbearable that I started screaming, I realised that she had changed me. After a while longer, I found that I could make myself move. So I started slowly dragging myself, and then I could limp, and then I could walk. By the time I could run, I was sure that I was nearly out of Forks. I kept to the deepest parts of the woods, and when it was so dark that my still partially human eyes couldn't see, I knew that I had to stop and let it just happen. I remembered you telling me that Carlisle had buried himself under potatoes – I had to find an equivalent. So I went a bit further and came across a braided river. I followed one of the side braids off it and found some large boulders. So I dug into the dirt on the edge of the water, and pushed myself inside, with my back rested against the rocks and closed my eyes, and waited. It turned out to be the best decision I could have made under the circumstances. No one came near me, and it was very quiet, so I could occasionally let out a scream – just to ease the pain. And when I was sure it was all over, I kept moving again. I ended up on the outskirts of Canada, but I knew I couldn't stay there forever, or for much longer. Before I could even really decide what to do, I ran into Laurent. He had tracked me there, and he told me that he had only recently heard of Victoria's plan. He had crossed paths with her soon after she had changed me, and he said that he had been trying to find me to make sure I was alright. I contemplated just following him where he went, and I also contemplated returning to Forks. I was going to…well, I was going to hide out in your house. But, I knew it would be too risky. Charlie would look there. And I wasn't sure that I could stop myself from checking on Charlie, if I were that close. I needed to accept that I was living another life now, and I had to start fresh."

I felt like I needed to take a break, so I paused and surveyed Edward's reaction. He was silent, watching my eyes. I smiled in earnest, feeling the warmth of his fingers brushing my fingers.

"So I asked Laurent what he thought I should do. He offered to let me join him, and he said that he was with the Denali clan. Having no other feasible options, I went with him. But we never made it. Laurent informed me that we were around halfway there, when we were approached by some vampires I hadn't seen before. But Laurent certainly knew who they were, and his nervous reaction made me wish I had stayed on my own. One of them introduced herself as Jane, and Laurent interrupted her, saying that he had no part in my transformation, nor did he wish to take responsibility for me. He begged her to let him leave, and after a few moments, she agreed. But I got the sense she wasn't in charge. Anyways, it wasn't Laurent she was after. When he fled, I decided I would try my luck as well. I knew that I was stronger than them, as a new-born, I remember Emmett telling me about it once…," I trailed off before shaking my head and continuing.

"But, the second I turned to leave I fell to my knees in agony. I was screaming and thrashing against hands that were suddenly wrapped around my wrists. Demetri, as he later announced himself, warned me that I best do as Jane requested. When she finally stopped the pain, I agreed to go with them."

Edward's expression was one of agony to match mine under Jane's control. I pulled his hand up to my face, holding it against my skin to remind him that I was safe in his arms now.

"I joined the Volturi, at Aro's behest. But when they suggested I hunt, and I realised they were traditional vampires, I grew reluctant. They fed in front of me, and soon I was so desperately thirsty, that I pounced on one of Caius' meals, and finished him off. Of course, it annoyed Caius. But I felt so wretchedly guilty, I felt like…," I paused, debating my choice of words, but reaching the conclusion that Edward could take it – he'd promised.

"I felt like a monster," I muttered, looking down at my hands. "I felt awful. Aro could tell, well they all could. I think they were afraid I would leave and find a way to end my…life?" Edward pressed his forehead to mine.

"For the second time in as many months, I felt ready to die. But Aro demanded I stay, and give it a try. And I did. I wouldn't travel far from Volterra, and I would stand at one of the Volturi guard's side as they killed someone for me. I would drain the body as if it were a wild deer, at least that's what I manage to convince myself. But, during the nights, I would lay in my room and stare at the ceiling, and think about how those people had people who relied on them, who needed them. I thought of their wives and husbands, sons and daughters, friends, parents, cousins, brothers and sisters…it tore me apart."

I reached up to brush a few strands of hair behind Edward's ear. He sighed and leaned his face into my palm.

"And here's the big part," I muttered. Edward straightened up, still keeping his fingers laced between mine.

"At first it was just in my fingertips. I was draining a body, and she was still alive: I had only just started. I remember pressing my fingers into her shoulder to keep her pinned down, and all of a sudden her eyes rolled back as if I were electrocuting her. I jumped back in shock when I felt her pulse in my fingers. It was stronger than normal, her pulse, as if I was…charging her up, like a battery or something. And then a few days later, I got so angry at Demetri for bringing me a child, a girl no more than six. I shoved him so hard, I was so angry…and when my skin made contact with his, my hands…he jumped back, rubbing his arm and glaring at me. 'How did you do that?' He had asked. But I had no answer to give, I didn't know myself. It was stronger though, as if all of my energy released into him, and it ran through his veins which were as dead as my own, and it jolted him."

Edward pulled me against him, sitting me in his lap. His arms wrapped so tightly around me. He felt my hesitation, and moved his lips to my ear.

"Tell me," he whispered.

"Aro called me back in. Demetri had told him. He had Jane pin me down, and torture me for hours to try and get me angry enough to get me to try it again. But, it worked against them, for a while: it gave me pleasure to deny them something I anticipated was powerful enough to make them unbeatable – more unbeatable. Jane knew this, I think, which explains why she hated me so much. She was the golden child, and the threat I posed to her position of power frightened and intimidated her. I know this, because I can beat her, but I'll get to that later," I laughed bitterly.

"When Aro bid to Jane to leave me alone, I sat up and yelled at him to let me leave. Of course, there was no way he would: not with the promise of my gift. The next day Jane jumped on me while I was heading outside to feed. She pinned me to the ground again, with Alec's help. I screamed and begged for mercy as Aro continued to command me to expose my gift. I was angry this time, so blindingly filled with rage. I pushed against the hands holding me back, not physically, but mentally. I pictured a force, like a wave, expanding and forcing out of me to tackle Jane and Alec. It didn't do that, but something did expand, and it forced them off of me – well, their powers at least. Aro was so shocked, he begged me to electrocute him, or do whatever I had managed to do to Demetri. And I did."

Edward looked impressed.

"I can force my own energy – all of it, or at least most of it, and stun a vampire. I don't know what it would do to a human…I wouldn't have it in me to try. From what I can gather, it is enough to generate a strong pinch-like sensation. It is enough to force someone off of me, and the shield can keep other vampire's powers from having their effect on me."

I shrugged. Aro had constantly touched my hand, as if checking that it still worked. He was convinced that we could build on it. It had just been my fingertips, but now I could use my elbows, my feet…

"They weren't going to let me go. But their laws bind them, Carlisle knew that: I, however, didn't. But now I do. Edward, they tried to convince me that they loved me, that they valued me…But I was nothing more than a tool to them. A weapon. I was frightened of what they might do to me."

Something in Edward seemed to click into place. He sat me upright and looked directly in my eyes.

"How do you feel now?" He said suddenly, urgently.

"I feel…fine…reenergized, I guess."

He nodded.

"And lately, you have been using this gift frequently?"

"Every few minutes with Aro…," I trailed off.

"It does drain you," he muttered. "You use your energy…it's incredible. But I do think it's something you could work on, but not in the way Aro would want you to. It's something you improve for yourself. A defence mechanism, just like your shield. And that makes sense, because, well…you need defending."

I pondered what he was saying, and realised that it made perfect sense. And I also remembered something Aro had said about my shield.

"Aro thinks I can use my shield to protect others…," I rolled my eyes. "To protect him, of course."

Edward nodded, understanding.

"Well, I guess that's everything," I said.

Edward wrapped his arms around me again.

"Now it's my turn," he said into my hair. I felt his lips press into my scalp as I nodded.

"If it's alright," he began. "I would like to hold you for the time I tell you this. I am afraid of letting you go."

I felt like crying again, but swallowed, feeling a slight burn in my throat, and nodded.

"I don't mind at all."

Thanks! The next chapter will be up asap.