Later that morning, at the office, Pam was even more distracted than usual. She couldn't stop thinking about that weird meeting at the supermarket. She couldn't believe she actually kinda flirted with that guy! This must have had to do with the weird mood she had been in in these past few months. The most surprising thing of all was that she wasn't feeling guiltyin the slightest. Not one bit. She was feeling alive and full of energy. Actually, she felt better than she had felt in months. That guy totally thought she was hot. The way he had looked at her sent shivers down her spine. Roy hadn't looked at her like that in ages.

And he was so good looking. Very tall, with such great body. And the hair! The hair was just gorgeous, she wanted to put her fingers right trough it. But most of all, what she couldn't shake away were those green eyes. They were absolutely magnetic.

"Pam, are you listening?

She snapped out of her fantasy to find Angela at her desk.

"Oh, sorry. I was distracted."

"I know what you were thinking about."

"What?" Pam was confused, like most times at work.

"You were blushing. That's inappropriate, Pam. Shame on you."

"I…just…" she had learned there was no point in trying to reason with her coworkers, so she just let go.

"What do you need, Angela?

"I need a copy of the last corporate fax."

"Sure."

It took Pam way longer than usual to find the fax. She kept being distracted by the memories of the green eyes guy, as she was calling him in her mind.

She kept her secret for the whole week, adding little details to her mystery man. He must have been from out of town. He was probably called Dan or Matt. She was very well aware of how pathetic this whole thing was, but when there's nothing going on in your life, you have to fill the void someway.

Sunday had been an absolute nightmare. They had lunch with Roy's parents and, like always, everyone kept asking her when she was finally gonna have a baby: her mother in law, her father in law, even Roy's grandma told her she wanted to hold her great grandchild before she was dead. How was she suppose to reply to that? All she could do was smile awkwardly and nod.

Roy wasn't helping. He was going around saying things like "yeah, we've talked about it! We're gonna start pretty soon!" Those were both lies. They had not decided to try to have children. They didn't even discuss it. The whole conversation could be summed up with Roy pushing her while she didn't say anything. But obviously, he didn't give a shit.

Later that night, their dinner was even more silent that usual.

"Roy?" She hated how tentative and unsure her voice sounded.

"Yeah?"

She couldn't look at him, so she kept staring at her plate. "Why did you tell your family we're gonna start trying to have a baby?"

"Because we are," he replied, matter of factly. In his mind there was no doubt and Pam was completely shocked by how clueless he was.

"No, we are not."

He looked at her like she was crazy. "What the hell are you talking about? We've been married three years!"

"So? Don't you think we should discuss it before you just go and make a decision? It's not something you can do on your own, you know that, right?"

She was furious. It was disrespectful how he didn't even care about how she felt regarding the biggest decision of her whole life.

"We did discuss it. We want kids."

"Yes…eventually. Not right now."

Roy put down his fork with a clang. He was clearly getting angry.

"I'm so tired of this bullshit, Pam. What the hell is your problem?"

She felt attacked and started to get nervous. "I…I'm just not ready."

"Well, you're 30! When the fuck are you gonna be ready?" He was shouting at her now.

She could feel the tears coming, but she didn't want to cry. She didn't want to be weak. Not tonight. "I don't know, Roy. Just…not right now."

"Well, I'm tired of waiting for you. You better make up your mind."

Pam was suddenly hit with a very unsettling idea. "Is that why you told those things to your family? To put pressure on me?"

He stood up. "Are you fucking kidding me? Is that what you think of me?"

She didn't know what to say so she just looked away to try to keep the tears from finally coming out.

He was still shouting. "You wanna know why I said those things? Because I want a child and I thought you wanted that too. I want a family. You know it. You've always known it."

He was right. She had always known it. And she realized that even if he was being a dick, he had a point. He married her thinking they were on the same page about this, but now she wasn't sure anymore and it wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry." She really was. She was sorry about so many things.

He moved closer to her. "Pam, look at me." She did. She saw he was tearing up and that terrified her. "Do you wanna have kids?"

The silence seemed to stretch forever. It was the defying moment of their marriage. Whatever answer she was gonna gave him right now was gonna change them forever. She lost her battle against tears.

"I…I don't think so."

She saw him crushed. She could feel she had just broken his heart. He moved away from her, walked to the other side of the room, his back turned, so she couldn't see the pain written all over his face.

She got up and walked toward him. She tried to put a hand on his shoulder. "Roy…"

He pushed her hand away. "Stay the fuck away from me! You knew it! You knew it! Why are you doing this to me?" He turned around, and Pam really wished he hadn't. The look on his face was terrifying.

Pam couldn't speak. She just stood there, frozen. He moved closer.

"What am I supposed to do, Pam?"

The words got choked up in her throat. She just started at him. "Talk to me!" he shouted.

She looked down at the floor. She couldn't bare to look at him anymore, it was just so hard. "I'm sorry." She said it so low she wasn't sure he actually heard her.

He moved past her and walked straight out in the hallway. "I need to get the hell out of here. I am gonna sleep at Kenny's."

She followed him. "Roy, don't."

"I'm sorry, I can't do this right now." He took his coat and stepped out of the apartment, slamming the door behind.

Pam slid down on the floor, exhausted, unable to stand on her shaking legs any longer. She felt guilty, she felt lost, she felt crushed. She kept asking herself what the fuck was wrong with her. There was a scary thought forming in her mind that made her feel even worse. Maybe the problem wasn't that she didn't want kids. Maybe the problem was that she didn't want them with Roy.

The next morning she called in sick from work, sat on the couch and waited for him to come home, or at least call her. She waited in vain. Tired and a bit desperate, she she went out for a walk, stopping at her usual place in the park, hoping that maybe he might come looking for her there. So she sat on her swing and waited. And waited. And waited. Until she saw a man slowly working toward her, but he wasn't her husband. He was the green eyed man.

That brief encounter at the supermarket had had a very weird impact on Jim. He couldn't stop thinking about the girl in the pink sweater. He blamed sobriety and his fragile state for this ridiculous behavior. What was he, a high school kid? But still, it was kinda nice to feel…something, whatever that was. For the first time since he arrived in Scranton, for a short, precious moment he had forgotten about his misery. Those had been the best three minutes he had had in months. And again, he was completely aware of how pathetic that was. Still, thinking about her shy smile, the way she played with her necklace, the way she flirted with him…it was nice. It was a kind of distraction that didn't involve a glass and a lot of self loathing.

Unfortunately, he was forced to come back to reality pretty soon. He had decided to finally tell the truth to his parents. He knew he at least owed them that much.

So now he was sitting awkwardly on their couch, searching his mind for the right way to break this to them. He was not sure there was one.

When he arrived, his dad had offered him a beer, as he always did. Jim was so close to taking it, but then realized that maybe announcing to them he was getting clean while holding a beer might send a conflicted message.

So now here he was, his parents just cheerfully talking about things Jim wasn't really listening to.

"Mom, dad…I need to talk to you."

"Sure son. What's up?" His father already sounded worried. He knew Jim well enough to sense something was wrong.

"Are you ok, honey?" His mom was already in protective mode. It was clear they had been waiting for this since he came back to Scranton.

"I'm…I'm not here on vacation. I was fired." He dropped the first bomb. One more to go. He looked at their worried and surprised faces and almost wanted to laugh. They had no idea how worse things were gonna get.

"What happened?" His mom moved to the edge of the couch.

"I got fired because I was drunk at a meeting." He said it all in one breath, hoping to get it out as fast as possible.

"Oh Jimmy!" He hated when his mom called him that. It made him feel like he was 5 years old all over again.

"But how did that happened? Did you went to a party or something?" His dad asked.

Here he was. It was time. No coming back from that.

"I have a problem. I'm an alcoholic."

He had figured that coming clean would give him a sense of relief, but he was wrong. He could read the disappointment and worry all over his parents' faces, no matter how hard they were trying to hide it, and it was making him feel incredibly guilty. He just wanted to get the fuck away from that house as soon as possible.

"Are you doing something about that?" For the first time in his life, Jim was very glad of his dad's no bullshit attitude.

"Yes. I'm going to meetings, I've got a sponsor. I've been sober for 17 days."

"Good. That's good, right?" His mom asked, searching for some sort of reassurance.

"Yes, it's good." His father answered before Jim could.

"I'm trying my best," Jim said, almost choking on his words.

"I know, honey, I know," his mom replied, putting one arm around him. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I was ashamed. I am ashamed."

"Don't be. You're getting help and that's all that matters. We're gonna be here for you every step of the way."

He knew his parents would have been the most understanding people, and it made him feel even worse. He didn't deserve understanding and compassion, he deserved to be kicked in the ass.

When he finally left the house, he decided he need some time on his own before facing Amy's questions, so he walked around with no precise destination, just breathing in the warm summer night. He could actually see the stars there.

He decided the park might be a good idea. He walked around there for a bit, lost in his mind, until he saw something. Or better, he saw someone. Sitting on a swing there was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He recognized her immediately: the girl in the pink sweater. He decided this must have been destiny, finding her on such a miserable night. Maybe she was a sign. Maybe the universe was trying to tell him something. Or maybe he was just being a complete idiot.

He stood there a moment, uncertain. What was he supposed to do? Go to her? She would have thought he was a stalker. He would have gotten pepper sprayed or something. It was dark and there was no one around. He would have scare the shit out of her.

A rational, smart man would have just let go, but Jim wasn't rational. Not right now at least. He was so deeply lonely he just needed this fake connection to become real. He used to be a charming guy, he could manage to not get slapped. There was nothing wrong in saying hi to her. His feet started moving.

Pam thought he was just a product of her imagination, caused by distress. What were the chances of meeting him right now, on the most miserable moment of her life?

He was getting closer. Usually, Pam's first reaction would be worry, but he looked anything but menacing. He looked like someone who really didn't know what to do with hands, like he was trying so hard not to scare her. It was kinda cute.

He was about a foot from her when he stopped.

"Hi," he said, with a nervous wave.

"Hi," she replied, feeling very strange.

"Ok so…I'm not a stalker or a murder."

Pam's eyes got wide. She kinda wanted to laugh. "Ok?"

He was clearly cursing at himself in his head. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure I didn't scare you."

"Well, if you were a murder, you would probably say the same thing." Pam smiled at him. She couldn't help herself. Something about him just felt…right.

He let go of a breath he had probably held since he had started walking. "You have a point," he said with a more natural, prettier smile. "I just saw you and I guessed I'd come say hi. Do you remember me?"

"The cereal guy. Of course I do." They looked at each other, both embarrassed and feeling like complete idiots.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" he asked, pointing at the other swing.

"It's a free park."

"Thanks." He sat down, his long legs and arms looking absolutely adorable in the way too small swing. He offered her his hand and a killer smile. "I'm Jim."

Jim. She liked that name.

"I'm Pam." When their hands met, there was a wave of instant electricity they both felt. He was holding on a bit too long, so Pam had to be the one taking her hand away first, feeling a sudden pain of guilt when she glanced at her wedding ring.

"So, Jim, you're not from here, are you?"

"Technically, yes. I grew up here, but I live in New York now. How about you?"

"Born and raised in Scranton. 100% local."

"And what do you do in Scranton?"

"I'm a receptionist," she said like she would have said someone had run over her puppy.

"That's nice," he offered, encouragingly.

"No, trust me, it's not. It's actually horrible." It was the first time she had said that at loud. And she did it in front of a complete stranger. She was still blaming distress.

"Oh. I'm sorry about that." He sounded very honest.

"That's ok. I'm used to it by now. What do you do in New York?"

"Well…" he was hesitant for a moment, "ok, I'm just gonna tell you the truth. I used to work for for a discography label, but I got fired."

The hurt in his voice told Pam there was more to this story. "I'm sorry. Is that why you came back here?"

"Yeah…kinda."

They were comfortably silent for a moment. It was kind of weird for Pam to feel so relaxed and at ease in such a situation. She was usually way more shy.

For a moment, sitting there, she forgot about her messy, fucked up life.

"So…" the moment he started talking, Pam's phone rang and she was brutally dragged back into reality. It was Roy.

"I'm sorry, I've got to take this." She got up from the swing and moved a few feet away from him.

Suddenly alone, Jim was trying to decide if he had to wait for her to be done or just walk away. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but he could tell she was pretty upset. There was a deep sadness in her that Jim could sense and recognize. She was clearly just as broken as he was.

She closed her phone and moved towards him. There were tears in her eyes.

"Are you ok?" he immediately asked, sincerely worried.

"Yeah. Yeah. I gotta go…"

"Do you want me to walk you home? You don't seem ok." Was he overstepping his boundaries?

"I'm fine, I just need to go home, ok?" She sounded angry, and Jim felt like a total ass.

"I'm sorry. It's none of my business. I'm just…I'm just gonna go. Sorry."

"No, wait. I'm sorry. I'm being rude. It's just a really bad time."

He felt a bit of relief and offered a little smile.

"I really have to go though. It was nice meeting you, Jim." She started walking away.

He didn't want to just let her go, not after he had found her again. "Wait, Pam…can I see you again?"

She turned back, surprised. "I'm…I'm married."

"I know. I saw the ring. I mean…" What did he mean? "I don't have many friends here. In fact, I don't have any at all. I could really use one. And from the look of it, you might too."

He couldn't believe what he was saying. This was gonna end terribly, terribly wrong.

"Yeah, you're right." Now, that wasn't the reply Jim was expecting. "You know what, call me at work. Dunder Mifflin. It's in the phone book."

Jim felt a weird, crazy happiness. He didn't care if she was married, that's not why he asked to see her. He was not that guy. But he truly, deeply wanted to know her and spend time with her, even as just a friend.

"I will. See you soon, Pam."

"See you, Jim."