A Couple of Months Ago

Dean sat on the bench that resided on the out skirts of town. It had been a week since he buried that angel his father had killed, and his mind was still reeling about it. He just didn't know what to make of what the angel with the pearl gray wings had said, on top of what he had seen his father did. He had never seen his father that angry before. Just what was he covering up and of course just who was the angel the pearl gray winged mentioned.

"Protect him? Protect who? How am I suppose to know? Plus why would I help him anyways?" Dean thought as he looked out at the pedestrians that where going on throughout their day. It was just another day to them, going through the daily grind as if nothing was different because for them nothing was.

But for Dean everything was different. In a matter of moments all his ideals that he had lived by were now being tested as he now was forced to think of things he had never bothered to ever give thought to before. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he continued to think about the so called angel he was supposedly suppose to protect. He didn't even know the angel's name, how could he help? Questions just kept filling up Dean's head. The questions he didn't even know how to get answers too.

He continued to sit on the bench and contemplate until he couldn't stand it anymore, so finally he stood up from his perch and headed down the street to his favorite diner, since he was now feeling suddenly hungry.

Dean strolled down the street kicking at the lose stones that were scattered along the edge of the side walk. One of the stones he kicked skipped into the street and was then run over by a passing car. Suddenly a loud crash from the alley across the street caught his attention. His first thought was that it was just an alley cat who had jumped to a trash can lid and missed, but for some reason he couldn't put his finger on he slowly crept over towards the alley and peaked around the corner anyways.

He stood there shocked for a moment at what he saw in the alley. A stunningly handsome angel with midnight black wings slid down the brick wall since anyone could see that he was obviously in a great amount of pain.

Dean quickly thought about what he should do. What his father had taught him to do was ambush, but that thought of doing that for some reason only made Dean's stomach turn in displeasure. When had he suddenly stared questioning being like his father? He had always struggled to be exactly like him, what had possibly changed?

The options he had were limited, but all of them would be effective in taking down the injured angel. Wait, when did he start going over options? He was normally a shoot first ask question later, what had gotten into him. Swiftly his mind processed all other possible options once more and realized that none of them were ideal, but one stuck out as most effective. So he quickly and efficiently formed his plan.

Finally after his few long moments of deliberation were through Dean reached for his pistol as he crept silently and deeper into the alley. He didn't seem to startle the angel when he first made his entrance, but he could tell that the angel was a little more than preoccupied at the current moment. Dean then watched the angel suddenly became tense, he had come to realize he was no longer alone in the alley.

Dean informed the angel of his presence holding the gun to the back of his neck, but pulled back slightly as the angel's twisted his body around to face the hunter and their eyes locked. The angel had the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen and if he hadn't been so caught off guard by them the situation, it probably would have went completely different.

Suddenly Dean found himself doing something he never thought he would do. He was helping the angel. He truly didn't know what processed him to do so, and for reason he could hear the voice of the pearl gray winged angel in the back of his mind as he extended his hand out for the angel. Castiel, the angel's name which Dean had quickly learned after that gripped it rather reluctantly. After this point something changed in Dean, but no one seemed to notice. Not even Dean himself.

Dean found himself then harboring the angel in the makeshift cabin that resided deep within the woods of his estate for a couple of days until the angel had fully healed like he was a fugitive because in all honesty he was. After the angel was finally healed Dean suggested that he move with him, up to the main part of the mansion under the false pretentions that he was one of Dean's friends that was currently down on his luck. But Dean worked very hard to never treat the angel like his friend. He didn't want to become attached to him. He didn't want to become dependent on him. He wouldn't be able to recover if he did, but Dean didn't know or understand why he believed that. So Dean treated him with as little respect as possible because it was the only way. He could see that the more he spoke and understood Castiel the more he felt confused. He could only guess what was happening to him and he couldn't say he was a fan, since all this did was make everything so much more complicated and things were already very complicated as it were.

Dean had noticed that right away Sam had become very fond of Castiel with finding his company pleasurable as he began to teach Castiel to play chess. At first Dean thought about telling Sam about Castiel's secret. Then decided against it, after a rather long and involved hunt where Sam ruthlessly stopped at nothing from getting the demon Azazel, who he had been tracking for months. The hunt had ended with Sam nearly killing the demon, which would have made all of Dean's and Sam's effort wasted. Dean loved Sam, but he wasn't sure how he would react if he discovered Castiel condition. Especially with Sam becoming more and more like their father.

Quickly Dean realized that the best way to protect Castiel was to keep his secret just among the two of them. Sure someday he would tell Sam the truth if Castiel agreed, since Dean knew it was not his secret to tell. Castiel had agreed that it was better to leave Sam out of the loop for a little while longer, but then again he always seemed to agree with Dean, even if he did have a sarcastic comment to follow after it. Dean almost immediately noticed this and he felt scared, but he kept his feelings to himself. It was better this way, especially if he wanted to stay detached from the angel. His angel.

Present

Affection: n, 1: a moderate feeling or emotion 2: tender Attachment: FONDNESS 3: the feeling aspect (as in pleasure or displeasure) of consciousness

Dean was breathing much easier now that his feet were planted firmly back on solid ground. He couldn't be happier about it. He had learned rather quickly that he wasn't much of a flier, and that flight was defiantly made for angels. Dean felt positive that he could never be an angel. The only thing he did like about the actual flying was being close to Castiel. Castiel hadn't taken Dean all that high, not even over the canopy of the trees that resided on the Winchester estate, but that was mostly because of Dean's panicking breaths that started as soon as Castiel took off. Yet overall the whole experience had been a rush. Dean could honestly say he had never felt so alive then when he was flying. He could still fell the air whipping past him through the feathers on Castiel's wings. He hadn't felt this happy in ages, or ever.

"That was amazing." Dean muttered as his breathing finally became steady and even. He then looked over at Castiel who was had a bright smile spread across his face. Dean's heart skipped a beat. How long had Castiel stirred something within him? Dean couldn't really recall, but he could feel his feelings growing stronger even as he tried to suppress them. Suddenly nervous and self conscious he looked away from Castiel abruptly to hide his reddening cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked suddenly noticing Dean's sudden avoidance of eye contact.

"No, nothing is wrong. I just realized how long we have been gone. Sam must be really freaking out now." Dean said quickly as he made up a reason looking back over at Castiel.

Castiel nodded curtly as if he only sort of believed Dean. Dean's eyes then grew wide as he witnessed Castiel's wings slowly vanished from his sight, followed by Castiel flinching ever so slightly. Did what Dean ask of Castiel, hurt him?

"Does it hurt to hide your wings Cass?" Dean asked slowly as he stared into the nothingness that use to be Castiel's wings.

"Not too much. I can handle it." Castiel said with an indifferent shrug. Dean frowned; he didn't buy what Castiel selling. He never bothered to care before, but now it was different. Wait why was it different? Dean shook his head to clear his mind.

"Maybe we sould tell Sam. Then you wouldn't have to hide them." Dean said suddenly as he looked at Castiel who had his eye brow raised in skepticism.

"Dean, I am not sure that's the best idea." Castiel said reluctantly as he gave Dean a small frown.

"Why don't you want to tell Sam?" Dean asked in a concerned tone. He thought Castiel really liked and trusted Sam.

"I just like having this between us." Castiel muttered as he now avoided eye contact with Dean. Dean nodded, but Castiel didn't seem to notice.

Dean suddenly felt a smile grow across his lips. He too liked just having Castiel's secret between Castiel and himself. He liked having Castiel to himself in general. Wait what, when did that happen? When had any of this happened? Dean tried to think back, but his thoughts were interrupted by Castiel slowly moving closer to him. So he gave up thinking about it with a quick shrug as a smirk grew across his lips.

"Come on lets head back. Oh and by the way you need to come up with a decent excuse as to why we have been gone so long." Dean said brightly as he watched Castiel's lips formed into a scowl.

"Dean's that's not fair." Castiel pouted as Dean continued to grin at him with a cocky smile.

"Yeah well Cass, life's not fair." Dean chuckled as he began to walk across the clearing. He looked back at Castiel who was still standing in the spot they had landed a few moments earlier.

"Did you really like it?" Castiel asked abruptly "Was it what you thought it would be like?"

It took Dean a moment to register that Castiel was referring back to their flying experience? Dean paused and noticed that this upset Castiel. His hesitation had made Castiel obviously jump to conclusions. So finally Dean figured that he would only he would speak nothing but the truth to Castiel about their flight.

He shook his head admitting the truth to Castiel. The flying overall had terrified him, but flying in general had always frightened him. He had hoped that it would be different if he was with someone who had a natural pair of wings, but the whole entire flight hadn't been terrible even if it really was something Dean didn't care to do again any time soon.

"It was really amazing, but flying it's not really my thing. But trust me when I say it was unlike anything I have ever done Cass." Dean finally said summing up exactly how he felt.

"Okay, so flying really isn't your thing. Maybe I could help you overcome your irrational fear." Castiel joked as Dean just rolled his eyes, not wanting to admit to his short comings.

"Come on Cass. Let's go home" Dean finally said in an exasperated tone to hopefully emphasize that they needed to get moving back to the mansion in order to hopefully lessen Sam's worry.

Castiel finally smiled a full smile once again and Dean felt his heart skip a beat, or two. He had never had anyone affect him this way before. It was strange, but in a pleasant way. He returned Castiel smile and they walked out of forest feeling like they had really connected after all this time.

Sam was overjoyed to see them as they both stumbled into the study looking fairly disheveled with mud caked upon their pant legs, but still both men smiled at him as if they hadn't been missing for hours and hours.

"Dean…Cass, where the hell have you been? Dean after you ran off. What the hell was I suppose to think?" Sam yelled, but all Dean did was continue to smile at him. Then out of the blue Dean reached out and embraced Sam in a quick hug that just left Sam speechless. "Dean…I don't understand."

"Shut up… and neither do I. Not really." Dean muttered into Sam's massive shoulder. Dean felt like he hadn't hugged his brother in ages. Why hadn't he and why did he want to now?

They pulled away from their embrace and both brothers turned to Castiel, who just gave them a small smirk before he turned and headed back to his room. Dean assumed that Castiel's quick departure had to do with him probably being exhausted from hiding his wings and showing Dean how it was like to fly. Castiel was amazing. Were all angels like Castiel or was really one of a kind like Dean had so often assumed.

"Dean? What happened to you when you found Castiel? You seem like a completely different person. In fact you seem happier." Sam muttered in a low voice as though he was worried about setting Dean off.

Dean frowned slightly. He didn't think he felt any different, but he might be. He hadn't really bothered to notice. "I don't feel any different." He said finally with a shrug and a half smile growing back upon his lips.

"Dean, whatever has changed with you. Try not to lose it, okay. This is good for you. Being happy is a good thing" Sam said in a pleasant voice as he turned and left the study and Dean behind. Dean only wished that Sam could take his own advice.

Dean looked around the study. It had somehow morphed into the room that the brothers and Castiel spent most of their time in. On the wall on the side farthest away from the door was a fireplace that was always ablaze and cracking. Dean for a long moment watched the flames dance as he slouched down in one of the leather chairs that rested across from the empty chess board and matching leather chair. He relaxed for the first time in a long time. It felt good.

Dean snuggled even deeper into the chair and felt suddenly tired. His eyelids got heavy and he quickly dozed off into the first peaceful sleep he had had in ages.

A couple of hours later he felt a warm hand brush against his cheek. He had only remembered one person ever touching him so gently and that had been Lisa, but that was over. It had been over even before it began, but that hadn't meant that Dean didn't care because in fact he did. He just cared about another more and this feeling was just growing stronger and stronger, every time he looked at Castiel.

"I'm sorry I love someone else." He muttered incoherently as he shifted in his sleep and continued to dream peacefully.

Castiel brushed his thumb against Dean's cheek gently. "There's no need to apologize, I understand because I love you." Castiel sighed as he gazed down at the sleeping man. Castiel closed his eyes and contemplated for a moment then turned and left the study. He wanted to let Dean sleep.

He knew he had been a fool. He had been a fool to let his feelings cloud over everything, but this was Dean and he had met no one like him before. Without him Castiel knew he would feel lonely. So much for staying detached from the hunter.

"Why now and why this man? What about my destiny? What about my brothers? What am I suppose to do?" Castiel muttered quietly as he pulled his hand away from the hunters face and exited the study. He felt scared, but wasn't that a given when dealing with love?