Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Square Enix and Disney do.

Food Stories

Chapter 4: Poptarts

Early on a Monday morning, Roxas finds himself walking over to the usual spot he and his friends hang out at in the morning. Zexion and Demyx are already there, being sickeningly sweet as they cuddle up together. Albeit, it is more like Demyx hugging Zexion and refusing to let go while the slate-gray haired male tries to read his book.

'Best friends, my ass.' Roxas thinks, setting down his bag. He looks over on the other side of the boxed in tree and sees that the majority of the gang is over there listening to Selphie, who is telling a story.

'Where is he?' Roxas wonders, not seeing the one person he really has to watch out for. A shiver runs down his spine as all of his senses go on high alert. He turns slowly, scanning for the familiar flash of bright red hair.

"GOTCHA!"

Roxas stumbles forward when something, or rather someone, collides with his back and wraps arms loosely around his neck. Roxas growls in annoyance when said person begins nuzzling his neck.

"Axel." Roxas deadpans.

"Good morning, Roxy!" The redhead cheerfully greets. "Have I said how much I love you this morning?"

"Please don't."

Axel chuckles and kisses Roxas's neck, smirking when he feels the blonde's pulse flutter beneath his lips. "Love you, Roxas." He whispers.

Their moment is soon ruined by Tidus as he jumps up and points into the air. "Ha ha! Look at the dumb ol' birds!"

Everyone looks up and then looks over at Tidus, who continues to watch the seagulls fly around the school while he eats his poptart. A devious gleam enters his eyes as he breaks off a piece of it. Selphie recognizes the look in his eyes and puts her hands on her hips.

"Tidus Morgan! Don't you dare feed those birds!" She shrieks.

Tidus smirks and tosses the piece into the air. "Heads up!" He yells as he ducks for cover.

The entire group scatters as the seagulls swoop down onto the food. Kairi and Selphie are heard screaming as they fun for Tidus to tell him off fir calling down the seagulls. It doesn't turn out quite the way they hope, since when Kairi hits him it sends half of his poptart flying right toward Axel, Roxas, Demyx, and Zexion.

Axel screams loudly and in a high-pitched tone when the seagulls swoop down on them. Then he leaps into Roxas's arms, still screaming. By then Zexion has pulled Demyx over several feet to the side, so they don't have to worry about the birds.

"Axel." Roxas growls, more annoyed by the clingy redhead than by the birds. "Get off."

Axel continues screaming, so Roxas drops him on the ground and crosses his arms over his chest. Miraculously, Axel lands on the poptart piece and the birds fly away.

"They're gone now, Axel." Roxas calmly informs him. "You can get up now."

Axel lifts his head up and looks around, as if afraid that a bird will attack at any moment. When he sees that they're off harassing a different group of students, he grins and gets to his feet.

"Duuude!" Xigbar swings upside down in front of Axel, hanging from a branch of the tree by his legs. "You totally scream like a girl."

"I do not!" Axel snaps defensively. "My scream is very, uhh, manly! Right, Roxas?"

Roxas wastes no time in telling Axel that no, he does not have a very manly scream. Axel pouts and looks to Demyx for help.

"Sorry, Axel. You really do sound like a girl." The blonde says with a shrug. He sounds more amused than sorry.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?!" Axel yells. "You're my friend!"

Demyx grins sheepishly. "I always thought it was funny."

"You--!" Axel growls and then chases after Demyx, yelling about how friends tell friends when they scream in a feminine manner. As he takes off, he bumps into Xigbar, who falls out of the tree yelling, "Dude!"

Roxas sighs and walks over by Zexion. "Remind me why we love them."

A hint of a smile can be seen on Zexion's face while he watches Demyx run away from Axel. "Because they're them."

Roxas looks confused for a moment but then watches the two and smiles as well. "Yeah." He softly agrees.

The moment is ruined when a seagull lands on Axel and begins pecking at the poptart that is stuck to his shirt. The redhead quickly abandons his chase in favor of running around in circles, waving his hands, and screaming bloody murder.

Roxas sighs. "I'm going to, uh, yeah." He doesn't give more of an explanation as he jogs over to save Axel from the evil seagull. Off to the side, Demyx looks like he's about to fall on the ground from laughing so hard.

"Dudes, look at the birds!" Xigbar says, lazily waving an arm at the sky. "I wish I could fly like a bird."

Zexion chooses that moment to go back to his reading and ignore Xigbar as the pony tailed man begins to sing. Thankfully, the singing doesn't last too long.

"Dude! The bird just pooped on me! That's not cool, man! Not cool!" Before anyone can stop him, he pulls out a B.B. gun and shoots one of the birds. The B.B. hits it right in the eye and it falls to the ground, squawking and carrying on. A teacher makes her way over and everyone but Xigbar, who is eyeing the rest of the birds predatorily, high-tails it out of there so they don't get in trouble.

"Mr. Xigbar, did you shoot that bird?" The teacher demands.

"Sure did." Xigbar proudly says, still looking at the other birds.

The teacher sighs heavily, feeling a headache coming. "Mr. Xigbar, you realize that shooting the birds, especially on school property, is illegal."

"It is?" Xigbar asks, looking over at the teacher.

"Yes, and--" She stops and frowns. "Didn't you graduate five years ago? What on earth are you doing here?"

Xigbar thinks for a minute and then shrugs. "I don't know."

"Leave!" The teacher says, annoyed. She points in a direction away from the school. "Just go now and this… unfortunate accident will never be spoken of again."

"Cool." Xigbar says, hiding away his B.B. gun. "Later, dude!"

"I don't get paid nearly enough." The teacher mumbles.

Later that day, Axel and Demyx track down Tidus and tape pop tarts to him and then send him out into the flock of seagulls. They then enjoy the spectacle that is Tidus running around screaming while the seagulls chase him, some landing on him. Axel even takes pictures.

"Think that's a little overkill?" Demyx asks.

"Nope." Axel says with a grin. "He deserves it."

End chapter

This was inspired by a real-life event that happened on Monday. Somebody had brought a poptart and broke a piece off and threw it on the ground and, like magic, a whole flock of seagulls appears and attacks it. So me and darling Seto-chan scream and I practically jump on top of her and we huddle under my jacket. For me it was more for fun, since I'm not really afraid of the birds. And then she said, "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Axel and Roxas screamed like girls?" and then it evolved more when I said, "Yeah, and then Axel jumps into Roxas's arms and Roxas says 'Get off' and then drops him on the ground."

So this is for darling Seto-chan, who has been in the mood to challenge me to write one-shots lately even though I have so much to do!