Another chapter. Told you it was longer. Reviews appreciated. :)

To Be Human

I really wish I could just fall asleep right now and dream away everything that is happening. This just can't be happening. My life can't simple for just one goddamn minute. He's missing. Why is this person doing this to us? Haven't we all been through enough shit in our life, especially him, to not have to go through this? We need to find him, but we all are so scared out of our minds that we aren't thinking right. His parents are here and are probably so confused about what is going because we are just not capable of speaking. His parents. They look like they are so scared. If I went missing would Grissom have that same face or would he just retreat to his little room and play with his bugs? I don't know the answer. I should know it, but I don't because all I can think about is him, underground, in a box, and dying. He hates going anything underground. He told me that once. He said that when he was little, his brother and cousins locked him in a root cellar as a joke. He peed his pants because he was so scared. I wish I was as strong as him and able to tell people all the things I am afraid of. He has confided in me so many times and all I can give him is a simple, "Me and my family didn't get along." What is wrong with me? I should be able to spill my guts after someone spills theirs to me. I must be defective or something because I can't seem to do anything human like.

A few hours later, I am thanking whoever the hell is up there that I am so robotic. I was able to think at a time he needed me so desperately. Yes that's right me. He needed me, not them. He needed me to remember all the little details of that awful interview and for once I came through. I remembered. I am so glad I did not dream away that little incident. I found him. I can't help but cry. This is one of the rare times in my life that I feel like I was actually put on this Earth for a reason. I feel so proud, but I make a promise to myself to make sure he never finds out it was me. I couldn't deal with him thanking me for the rest of my life. I can deal with a simple thanks once, but with Nick, if he knew, I would probably get a dozen daisies (some information he managed to get out of me) every single day until the day I die and probably even after I die. Yes, Nick will never know.

I need to see him. I need to know that he is ok. I stand up from the hard chair and slide against the wall, hoping that the nurses don't see me. I am in luck. Paperwork must suck in a hospital. I walk down the hallway and feel a chill. I hate hospitals. Memories of my childhood are painted on every wall of every hospital in Northern California. That is all forgotten when I see Nick's room. I looked in and see an Asian man. Great. He has a roomie. Hopefully this guy doesn't have a big mouth and get me in trouble. I walk in and notice his morphine drip and the drool leaking from his mouth. I think I am safe. I walk around the curtain and I see him. Laying in bed with no blankets on and the bare minimum of clothing. Woah baby. The whole no cloths thing makes sense when I see the bite marks all over him. He is lucky to be alive. He looks kind of peaceful, but I think that is because of the morphine drip he has going. I hope he doesn't get addicted to that stuff. I think too much. After a few minutes I do something very un-Sara like. I hold his hand. I can feel the bites on his hand, but I still hold it. When I was a little girl, after my dad would leave the room my brother would come in and sit in a folding chair and hold my hand until I feel asleep. He wouldn't leave my side though. He would sleep in that chair all night. He slept in that chair a lot. Holding Nick's hand makes me understand my brother a little more. I see why he did it. I feel like it is more of a comfort to me more so then to him. I feel my hand shift a little. I look down and see his hand moving in mine. I quickly pull my hand from his and look to his face to see if he is awake.
"Hey." God. This guy can still smile after all the shit he went through. His voice is kind of raspy, but I think it's from the trache that I briefly remember the doctor stating he had in to help him breathe.

"Hey Nicky. I didn't mean to wake you. Just wanted to make sure you were in all one piece." Nicky. Why did I call him Nicky? I don't call him Nicky. He is just Nick. Tricky Nicky is for everyone else. Nick is the only name I know him by so why I did I say Nicky? I'm just concerned. Yeah that's what it is.

"Time?" I guess he has been reduced to one word sentences. God I hate this guy for doing this to him.

"Uh late. Very late. I had to sneak pass the Nazi Nurses." His smile is so beautiful. I wish I could just look at it all day.

"I won't tell. Promise." It's good to hear more than word. It means that he is not completely broken. God I hope he doesn't turn out like me.

"Good thing. Otherwise I'd have to beat you up. How are you feeling?" Stupid question Sara. Jeeze. How do you think he is feeling? He probably feels like he was blown up and eaten alive. Duh. "I've been better." Ok, sometimes he is worse than me with sharing his feelings.

"I'm just glad you are alive." The words came out in a whisper. A tone that is unfamiliar to me. I prefer yelling.

"I'm just glad you're here with me."

No. This can't be happening again. Please take it back.