Sorry for posting so late the last 2 weeks has been hell trying to get ready to head back to school. Sorry i didn't have time to respond to your reviews, but i did read them and truly appreciate each one! Please dont hesitate to give me ideas if you have any... i'll shut up now
Chapter 4: Unstable
JPOV:
It's been weeks since I've left Massachusetts and I still can't seem to get Bella off my mind. I tried to think of her as just some random girl, but deep in my heart I know she's more. She actually makes me feel like I could have, and deserve something special.
Every girl I've ever been with was using me one way or another, which made it easy to leave and forget them, but Bella, it took everything within me to leave, and it tore me apart to see the fear in her eyes, Fear that I instilled within her. Her face seems to haunt me. Everything seemed to remind me of her, I was going crazy, and still I didn't mind. I wish I was the one she wanted, I wanted to spend the rest of our lives putting a smile on her face each day.
But that could never happen; she belongs to a man who doesn't even appreciate her. Man of all the women, how could I be falling for my best friends fiancé?
"Why don't you come back to bed sugar?" I had honestly forgotten about her. She was some random girl I met at the bar last night. She reminded me so much of Bella, so I took her home in hopes that I could temporarily forget about her…if that made any sense. Turns out she was far from my Bella. No one could ever compare to her, I was starting to see that now. I guess a sick bastard like me, doesn't deserve love after all.
"Why don't you get the hell out of my house?" I roared in repulsion. The girl whose name I couldn't remember just stared at me shocked at my tone. "Get out now!" I yelled. She quickly grabbed her belongings and ran out the room slamming the door behind her, shaking the whole shitty house. I took another swig of Jack and threw the bottle against the wall. Disgusted with myself, I looked down at my scar and remembered Bella warm lips brushing against it.
I was mad at myself for wanting Bella, and at the same time, mad that I couldn't have her. I couldn't live like this, I couldn't bare another day without her.
Shit I needed her so desperately, but how can I have her when she's with Edward? All I knew was that I needed to find some type of distraction, before I do something reckless. And then it hit me, Edward offers her stability. What no one knew was that my mother came from old money. I could offer Bella ten times whatever Ed provided. I'll just have to show her. It was time for this ranch to receive a makeover, and for me to get serious. I was about to become the man I never thought I would be, the one Bella deserved.
BPOV:
Months have passed since Jasper left without a word and Edward has been trying his best to put me first, but for some reason it still wasn't enough, I was torn between two men. Edward was always at work or school and I was always alone, and to make it worse I couldn't get Jasper off my mind. I tried my best to forget him, burying my head in books and papers that were due but every time I closed my eyes it was like he was right there with me, I was being haunted. I would often fantasize about seeing him again, Him holding me in his arms, the spark I felt with every touch, and that sweet smell of his.
Ok so I know it's really bad thinking of someone who doesn't even belong to me, but in some sick and twisted way I knew he sort of did. I'd often argue with myself for thinking of Jasper in such a way, knowing the lifestyle he lived. It didn't take a genius to see that Jasper was a womanizer, the type that pray on women, the type who wasn't strong enough to say no. Why would I leave Edward, someone who I never have to question his loyalty, for someone so unstable?
I sighed deeply vexed at the fact that I've had this same conversation with myself five times for the day. I turned off the light and headed into the bedroom to find Edward laying in bed in a pair of flannel pants and reading that stupid journal again.
I sucked it up and crawled into bed, only to be scooped into his arms. I glanced up at him and he smiled at me giving me a kiss then going back to his book.
Maybe you should tell him. And break his heart I think not. I argued.
Maybe if Edward and I made love the memories would go away. I thought to myself. It was surly worth the try; after all I was desperate and had nothing to lose. I began kissing down his neck, only to be pushed away and looked at like I had grown two heads.
"What are you doing?" He asked, I didn't bother to answer as I felt a knot welding in the back of my throat. I simply got up and headed out the door.
"I'm sorry, but I have a test-" I slammed the door behind me and headed down the stairs towards Jasper's room.
I threw myself onto the bed and yelled into the pillow, as the tears began to fall.
How much could one take?
I laid in bed staring at the ceiling trying to clear my mind, and then the scent hit me. It was as if he was right there in the room. I picked up one of the pillows and hugged it as I imagined him here with me. When I rolled over I felt something under the sheets. I quickly pulled back the covers to find a note and a box.
I first read the note that said:
Bella,
I know you may think I'm a coward for leaving without saying goodbye, but I had to. You and Edward aren't over and I don't want to put you through anymore stress, so I'm kindly stepping aside. I hope you don't think any less of yourself after what occurred. I was just trying to show you a good time. Take care of yourself Darlin', and don't worry I know you'll find some way to survive without me.
-Jazz
I couldn't help but roll my eyes and laugh at the last sentence. I then looked at the box to find another note.
For those frustrating days, just think of me.
I unwrapped the box to find a vibrater. I nearly choked. I couldn't believe him.
Minuets passed and all I could do was stair at the … thing, as I battled with myself whether I should use it or not. After another moment I just grabbed it, turned it on and pulled down my shorts as I replayed Jazz and I, night together.
It wasn't working; I threw the thing across the room frustrated. I needed him. I quickly went upstairs to retrieve my phone ignoring Edwards's apologies and locked myself in Jaspers room.
I laid back in bed staring at his number unsure what I was about to do. When I got fed up, I closed my eyes and hit talk. When I heard it ring I panicked and hung up accidently throwing the phone. No soon after, it began to ring and I nearly shit myself. I quickly grabbed the phone and answered it.
"Hello?" I asked timidly.
"Imagine my surprise when I see the girl I was thinking of, call me and hung up." His voice was so damn sexy. My memories didn't do it justice, and like always my panties were soaked.
"You were thinking of me?" I asked blushing vigorously.
"Of course Darlin'." He simply replied. Somehow I found that hard to believe.
"You're not just saying that are you?" I asked.
"No, why would I?"
"Well for starters when we last spoke you were so upset." I said quietly as I remembered that day.
"I'm sorry about that Doll, I didn't mean to yell at you. I was mad at myself and took it out on you."
"It's ok Jasper, all is forgiven." I said with a sigh.
"So where's Boy Wonder?" He asked changing the subject.
"Upstairs" I stated with venom.
"He rejected you again?"
"He has to study." I said mimicking Edward. Jasper sighed.
"That's no good."
"Yea and… I found your…gift."
"Did you now?" He asked sounding more interested.
"Yea" I said quietly.
"Did it work?" He asked, his voice laced with lust.
"No… I tried thinking of you but…nothing." I replied.
"What about me were you thinking of?" He asked as my pussy began to throb and my hand slipped down between my thighs and began stroking my clit.
"Everything." I answered breathlessly.
"That not good enough darlin', tell me what you were thinking of." He replied. I closed my eyes and began to picture him and couldn't resist the quiet moan that escaped my lips.
"Your smile, those sexy ass dimples, the way I feel when you touch me…" I trailed off.
"Hmm sounds like your mind has been busy." He replied in an amusing tone.
"Jasper?" I asked.
"Yes babe?"
" I miss you." I admitted.
"Oh darlin' you have no idea how much I've been missing you." I couldn't help but smile.
"Jasper?" I asked again.
"Mhmm"
"I want you, badly." I stated boldly.
"Shit!" He muttered as I heard something crash, I quickly began to panic.
"I'm so sorry I was out of line, I shouldn't have said that."
"No… is the door locked?" He asked.
"Yes"
"Are you touching yourself?"
"Yes" I moaned as my strokes became more frantic.
"Shit Darlin, you sure know how to make a man hard."
"Not all men, just you." I murmured under my breath.
"That's because Edward's a dumb ass. But enough about him slide two fingers into that tight little pussy of yours as your thumb rub your clit." He instructed and I quickly obliged and began to moan.
"Imagine it was me." He said.
"It…feels…so good." I replied as my heart began to race and I felt like I was about to climax.
"Bella you are so fucking sexy. Do you know that?"
"Jazz" I cried.
"Yes Be-"
"Shit I'm cuming." I moaned as I became undone.
"Oh fuck" He said growled. We were both silent.
"Try using the vibrator again Darlin'." He suggested. I quickly picked it up from the ground and laid back down, turning it on and rubbing my bundle of nerves with it.
"How does that feel Bella?" Just the way he said my name had me cuming again. I screamed his name in pleasure.
"Mmm I love the way you say my name Darlin', say my name again." He whispered breathlessly.
"Jasper" I moaned as my body began to quiver. "Oh shit!" I screamed feeling my toes curl and my eyes roll to the back of my head.
"Fuck it Bella I need to see you." He said seriously, as images of us doing the nasty in different positions began to fill my head.
"Oh God I need to see you to." I cried cuming once more and turning off the vibrator.
"How about friday, would you be up for that Darlin'?" He asked me.
"Yes" I replied getting excited.
"I'll text you the address."
"No need Jazz, Edward will be at work."
"Well then, I guess we can have some fun huh?"
"Mhmmm" I replied trying not to squeal.
"Alright babe, try and get some sleep I'll see you soon. "
"Thanks Jazz."
"Anytime" was his response before we both hung up.
I couldn't help the smile on my face as I hung up I quickly changed the sheet s and went to bed dreaming of friday.
Ok so this is the first time we hear things from Jazz's pov, what did you think? I know it answered a few of your questions. Anyways, thanks to my super beta for being super duper... did i just say that? things are getting ready to heat up after the next chap i'd love to hear what you think is gonna happen next!