Chapter 4: Just a toy
Joey's POV
I awake in a spacious room, resting on a soft bed. Where is this? I remember that I jumped into the Nile from my cliff, my hideout. I must be dead and the afterlife seems to be much better than my former, but I refuse to believe it yet. I won't let my hopes get up just to watch them crumble like so many times before. I don't deserve happiness so why should I have found it? Suddenly I feel someone hugging me and freeze, I remember my fathers touches, what he had done again and again the last time the evening before I jumped. But this arms are different slender and gentle, still I fear the worst, I never got disappointed when assuming it before, for it always comes true.
I hear a voice, a woman's voice "Big brother, you're awake, finally. I was worried, you know. How are you, big brother? Are you hurt? Did father hurt you? Please, tell me what happened." Do my ears deceive me? Big brother? Is this young woman Serenity? She has the same eyes but what is my sister doing here? "Joey?" the woman that might be Serenity, says again. A moment of silence, no it can't be my sister. If this is the after life then my sister is dead, but how, she couldn't be dead she deserved better, she deserved someone to protect her not a worthless mutt for a brother, so why did she end up in the same place I did? Had she died? Or have I been saved, have I not even been granted death?
"Leave him Serenity, I'm sure it was a bit much last night, he still needs some peace." Who is that? Giving orders to my baby sister. Granted, she's not a baby any longer but still, I want to protect her she deserves to be protected, she even deserves someone better then me to do so. The young man who spoke is dressed like a Pharaoh, am I still alive and I'm in the palace but how could I end up here? I remember the hand and the arm pulling on me. Had I been dragged out and brought in front of the Pharaoh to punish me for trying to get away in death? I'm his slave and I'm not allowed to escape not even with death.
"I'm here, big brother, it's okay, it's over. You´re safe now." Safe? How can anyone ever be safe when life is utter darkness? How can I be safe when I'm not even capable of killing myself? Father was right, I'm nothing and worthless, I can't do anything. Not even die.
The man, that might be a Pharaoh, walks closer and is getting closer to my sister. No, I can't lose her again. I can't lose again to someone stronger. I couldn't protect my beloved mother but I will protect my sister, I will not fail with that. Serenity is my light, the only one in this darkness of my life. I will not lose her, no matter what. I protect her or die trying. I jump up and in front of my sister. I feel weak, I must have gotten close to death, yet I have been denied the entrance to the afterlife. I only got weaker and feel like my legs will give in any second but I stay. I force them to hold my body up, I need to be strong, for once in my life I need to be strong. I look at him warningly not daring to say anything, in case he really is the Pharaoh. Even so I still want to die, I don't want to risk my sisters life. He comes closer. No, I can't fail my sister. I push him away, Pharaoh or no Pharaoh, I'm not letting him push around Serenity. "Joey, oh by all the gods, don't do that. Please, my Pharaoh, forgive him. He didn't know you, please don't harm my brother. He would never harm his Pharaoh knowingly, I beg of you." My sister pleads.
So he is the Pharaoh, it doesn't matter. I'm dead now anyway, like I wanted to be. But I will fight for her till my last breath. Even with my legs losing more and more strength. "Relax Joey, I have no intention to harm your sister or you, for that matter. But you better not dare to be that rude to your Pharaoh again." he says and smiles. I hate him, he looks like he can do whatever he wants with us, like I could do nothing to stop him. And what is worse, I know that he is right and he knows that I know, but still I won't leave Serenity unprotected. But she herself pulls me back and keeps whispering to me to stop and that we are both safe, if I just don't anger the Pharaoh. I don't care about my safety but if she says that she is safe, I will let them be. For now at least. But I still don't like it. I sit down on the bed but keep an eye on the Pharaoh and I'm ready to jump up any second, no matter how heavy my legs feel. It's silent for a while. I see the Pharaoh moving after a while, just changing his attention from us to another guy and looking to the window. It's when I notice that I can hear a horse, surely that can't be too unusual in the palace. The one the Pharaoh looks at, looks like a younger and paler version of himself but isn't dressed like he's related to a Pharaoh. It's too plain, he looks more like a servant, a rich one, but a servant. He has some gold jewellery, not much but enough to be something enough to make me doubt that he is a slave, more likely a servant of the Pharaoh. After he walks to the window and looks out, anyone in the room seems to watch him, he says "High priest Seto is back, my Pharaoh."
And the Pharaoh replies "Faster than I thought. I have to give him that. But still too late."
Too late? Too late for what? What are they playing at? Again everyone is quiet. They must be waiting but since everyone in Egypt is high on hygiene, I assume it will be a while, he'll need to wash and change after the ride. But I was mistaken. Someone appears. Not washed or changed for a while. He looks around and straight into my eyes. I wonder what he's thinking. For some reason he looks disappointed, sad and somewhat lost, while the Pharaoh has a smug smile on his face. I wonder why.
"I guess he talked then?" the man says. He has blue eyes, that look so sad, as he says these words. Part of me wants to jump up and help him but my sister is still behind me and who knows if he might be a threat to her. And at any rate he is nothing to me why should I even feel the urge? I don't understand it myself. But I wonder what he means by saying "He talked then?". Who talked about what?
"Master, may I speak?" Serenity asks timidly and I wonder who she is addressing. She looks at the new man in the room with the blue eyes, the one that must be high priest Seto, considering what the Pharaoh look alike had said.
"Why not, dear, go ahead." The Pharaoh himself says, so maybe she meant him? Was he still her master? Mother ran off with her, so why should he still own her? Had they found her and if so, what had they done to mother?
"Master, I'm sorry. I haven't known about the game you were involved in and told my Pharaoh what I knew about my older brother here." It sounds more like Seto is her master now, the way she looks at him and talks about Master and Pharaoh as different people. Seto looks like he's surprised, to say the least and shocked about what is going on here. "And I also told him that I think, that our father used to hit mother and him and probably caused the bruises. But my brother has yet to make a sound." And if they want me to say something, I'm sure to stay silent. I don't like how they make my sister sound so timid and address them with "Master". It's the life of a slave I know that, but she is my sister and I want her to be happy, I want her to have a better life, unlike me she deserves it. And anyway why should I speak It's not like their talking to me. Every one but my sister is talking about me not one of them talks like I'm even here. they talk about me ask about me for some unknown reason but not one seems to care what I think not one really said anything to me no one but my sister and even she had been told to stop and was now talking to THEM about me like I'm not even in the room. Non of them care so why should I talk to any of them. Why should I give them what they want when they don't even treat me like I'm present.
Seto's face changes. He suddenly looks like a winner instead of a looser.
"In that case, my Pharaoh, I win." he says with a smug look.
"WHAT? But I don't need your information, I already know everything." He obviously disagrees completely his face looks like there really was no way that Seto could even dare to say that.
"So her THINKING is enough for you KNOWING?" Another smug smile is on Seto's face when he says this.
I like the look on the Pharaoh´s face now. He lost, serves him right, the arrogant young man. Just out of his baby shoes and behaves like he is a god. Okay technically here every Pharaoh is, but still it's no need to look down like that on the rest of us. We have feelings too. Everyone, slave, servant, guard and merchant everyone has feelings. No matter of rang or power. Everyone feels pain and sadness, love and hope. Some more pain others more hope but everyone feels. Why can't they see that I have feelings to, Why does no one care what I feel?
"Then lets see if I'm right and if I am and know at least the same than you do, then I still win. For the clues I have are so easy to read, that I'm indeed certain." No surprise, the spoilt brat never lost. He changes the rules as he goes along. And if he decides who is right, no one can say anything against him. It's so not fair. Seto seems to know the same but still looks determined to win. I don't really care. Why should I? All I want is for the pain to end. The pain that never leaves my side. The pain form my wounded body but also my soul and heart. I want it to end, I want to forget what happened I want to disappear from this world and hide from my past and pain.
"As my Pharaoh wishes. Mokuba leave, Serenity make sure he isn't eavesdropping" This Seto says.
"Yes, Master." Serenity says now, my sister. I look around and notice for the first time another that stood close to her from the start in the corner
"Just when it gets interesting." He whines but dares to take my sisters hand and pulls her out. I take her other hand and look as threateningly as I can to the young raven haired male that tries to take my sister away.
But she just says "It's okay, I'm safe with Mokuba. He won't hurt me and I'm safe here. This is my home and I'm happy, Joey, don't worry. Just please, be good here. I don't want to lose you again either, you know. And if you're good maybe you can stay and work here too and we can be together, please."
I see the blue eyed man that is in need of a bath walk closer to me and he leans down. I freeze again. Too close, he is taller stronger and more powerful and I'm weakened and now he is so close he could touch me too close. But this man only whispers very quietly, so no one can hear but me and his voice makes me shiver and his breath that touches my ear makes the hair in the back of my neck stand up, not in a bad way, but it feels strange. I feel like I need to run to hide and escape like there is danger in that feeling I get. But I don't understand why. "Let her go, she'll be safe and I don't want her to have to listen to what your father did to you. I'm sure you don't want that either."
WHAT IN ALL OF THE GODS NAMES ARE THEY PLAYING? Why does he know? Why does he care and why will he tell anyone? I don't get it what is going on. Where did I end up in?
But I let go of her hand and nod. I really don't want her to know, it's bad enough that it happened and that if I have to go back, it will continue and that these two seemed to know or at least Seto does and will tell the Pharaoh and the little look alike seems to be staying, too. WHY? Why does he have t tell them my shame. I don't want to hear it I want to forget it I want to leave it behind why do I have to go through this? Will this darkness never end? Has it already trapped me for all eternity? Why? Am I really that bad? Am I really that worthless that I don't even deserve death?
Once Serenity and the raven haired young boy who they had called Mokuba are gone, the Pharaoh sits on the bed next to me making me move away a little while he says "Let's hear, Seto, what information do you have that I don't have from his sister?"
Seto looks at me almost apologising. I just look away, I don't want his pity. I want his knife. I want him to make it end. "I assume you know that his mother left with his sister, leaving him behind and not because she couldn't take him but because she didn't want to?" Does he look angry? No. I must be wrong, why would he be, it's not like he cares. Nobody cares for me. I wouldn't deserve it anyway.
"I do, as well as that his father was quite abusive towards the mother and him and the only thing that was assumed was that it continued. And it's quite likely, after all a leopard doesn't change his spots." The pharaoh says with his smug smile.
Seto looks upset as he hears it, obviously he had hoped that he hasn't had that information.
"Do you also know how far the abuse got?" I look away, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to remember it. I don't want to be here. "Or that he got hit at the start, trying to save his mother who then said that she hated him, for making it worse? Or that she threatened her eight year old son, that she would kill him if he followed them? A neighbour had heard it. Or do you know that Joey had to fill in for all the work that his mother used to do in the house and I mean ALL the THINGS she had to do for HIM?"
I feel two arms around me at once, the smaller look alike suddenly had hugged me. Tears in his eyes, and said "Poor Joey, that must be so hard to hear such hard words from your mother, after trying so hard to help." I look down at him, about to push him away with what little strength I have left, I don't want his pity any more than that of the others, but he looks so innocent and more like a child. Instead of pushing him roughly, I just remove his hands with mine and move myself away a little. The boy still looks like he is about to cry.
The Pharaoh comes over to him and says "What do you think my little Yugi? Who wins?"
"That's not fair." Seto says, before the spiky haired youth has a chance "He's your bed slave and favourite on top. He won't risk it and never go against your wishes."
Bed slave? He's a slave, too? Obviously bed slaves where treated a hell of a lot different than the ones out on the pyramids. But I don't care I wouldn't want to change with him. I know how much it hurts to be used I know the feeling it leaves you with. I wonder if they send me back to it. I wonder if anyone could care about anyone so little to sent them back to such a live. They probably can. especially when it's about me. My own parents didn't care for me in the least because I'm worthless and not good enough for them, how can THEY care a high priest and a pharaoh. How could the two most powerful man in all of Egypt care for a worthless street dog like me. If they would I would beg them for mercy, I would beg them to bring me back and throw me back into the Nile.
"To be honest," the young slave said, "my Pharaoh, I don't really want you to win and I think that master Seto has a point, too. But you did find out so much, enough in my opinion so, master, do you really need to win this Joey as another bed slave?"
"WIN? WIN ME AS A WHAT?" I shout out, breaking my silence for the first time. I need to know this now. I'm not a bed slave, granted I am a slave and my owner can choose as for what kind of work he will use me, but why in all of the gods names should anyone ever want me for THAT and what was that about winning me? I literally already belong to the Pharaoh and at any rate, why would anyone even try to win me? Not to mention two at once fighting over who is to get me. For all that is holy, I'm still a human being. I hate this life, I hate being a slave and being treated like I'm just a piece that can be used as whatever it suited them. But this, playing a stupid game over me. I'm not just a thing, I'm not just a toy, am I? Why? Why do I have to stay alive for THIS?
"Oh, you can speak?" The Pharaoh asks in surprise.
And Seto answers the Pharaoh, before Joey can say anything "And sing beautifully as I happen to know as well, unlike you obviously. So I believe I won."
They aren't even listening to me! The other slave is standing next to me again and says "Don't worry it will be all right, either way." It will be all right? How can my life ever be all right? How can THIS make it any better? It feels like the darkness is just trying to trap me even deeper in it. With no way to escape, I'm trapped. It doesn't matter who will be my master, either way, I'll be nothing but a toy. Why?
"I'm not just some damn toy. Just because I'm a slave doesn't mean I have no feelings. I don't want to be used like a mare play toy by them, by neither one. And I won't" I say to the small slave, knowing they won't care, knowing they won't even listen but I make sure they are listening this time, I spit right on the high priest shoes. Let him hang me for it. Not as nice a death as the fall and peaceful drowning I had intended but better than this for sure. I should have known that the gods won't let me get out of this darkness that easily. At least I got to see my sister one more time and she had looked happy enough, all things considered. A small light, like the star. Maybe the gods did take pity on my soul and granted me to see her, before allowing me to leave this world by whatever means they will see fit. I look to the floor, waiting for what they will say. I have spit at a high priest and refused the Pharaoh, after having pushed him away earlier on. I'm dead and I will welcome it.
"I think, my little Yugi, you get your wish. I don't like feisty, Seto lets end the game with a draw and you can have him and do as you please." For crying out loud, I had refused the Pharaoh and his high priest and to top it of, pushed the Pharaoh and spit on the high priest and I'm still ignored and left alive? Why in all the gods names won't somebody just kill me and end my pain? Why can't anybody end my suffering or at least let me end it myself why did they have to go and save me in the first place? I just want it all to end is that to much to ask? I gave up hope for a better future a long time ago all I want now is the end why can't I even get that? Why do I have to walk in darkness with no hope for a way out not even in death?
"As you wish, my Pharaoh." Seto says and smiles a very smug smile like he has won and it just isn't official, but still he has won. And maybe he did. After all he has gotten 'the price toy' but to me the real winner is the darkness who once again settles over my life.