Anyway, after a daring adventure to find our computer (and the toilet) from the monsters of ibbidibob, we return to give you…..the next chapter of mini Mulch!
We pick up from where we left off, the night of the break in came on the night it was expected to. It had taken Mulch a month to plan his extravagant feat, which included
a 10 foot dragon,
a lawnmower
16 paintbrushes
1 very annoying baby pixie
oh, and a catapult.
Unfortunately, upon rereading this plan, Mulch noticed some key flaws in this idea. Namely:
how would a 10foot dragon get through a drainpipe
where to find a 10 foot dragon in the first place
how not to get eaten by afore mentioned 10 foot dragon
where to find 16 paintbrushes (which are very rare in haven, and would require another museum break in, requiring the above list of items, so to acquire them, we are bought back to his current predicament of where to find 16 paintbrushes.)
What purpose does a lawnmower have in this scheme anyway?
Anyway, after closer examination of his plan, he scraped it, in favour of a slightly more plausible idea. 16 attempts later, he came up with one that might (emphasis on might) work.
We could tell you the details of this latest plan, but we can't be bothered. Anyway, on the night of said break in, everything went to plan. Mulch scaled the 16 story museum using the wrong trousers, climbed through a pipe on the roof which we don't know the name for, and stomped across the ceiling, hanging upside down (any resemblance to Wallace and Gromit: the Wrong Trousers, is purely coincidental, and was not planned at all.)
Then, using a fancy gadget in the helmet he just happened to be wearing, he grabbed the Fei Fei tiara (yay!) and proceeded to exit the building according to plan.
Once outside, he removed his gear and casually, inconspicuously, began to walk back to his house. Unfortunately, being Mulch, he forgot to look where he was going. This may partly be because he inherited his mother's faulty eyesight, or may just be because he was being Mulch.
Anyway, (it's that word again, we're trying to break a record of how many times we can put the word anyway into a chapter), Mulch, not paying attention, just happened to run straight into the arms of Captain Julius Root, who, being very annoyed at, well, nothing, he's Julius root remember, he doesn't need a reason to be annoyed, of course, promptly nicked him.
This tells the story of Mulch's first attempt to steal the infamous Fei Fei Tiara, (for information about Mulch's future attempt, see Artemis Fowl: The Seventh Dwarf.), and his second run in with Julius Root.
A/N: We do not own Wallace and Gromit, never have and unfortunately probably never will, and we don't own Artemis Fowl either, in case you haven't guessed, although it would be fun if we did. Anyway, this is also the longest chapter we've ever written (go us!) and will probably be the longest chapter we ever do. It's hard to get tortoise's to concentrate, they have a habit of falling asleep, especially in physics lessons, although we're now very good at getting out of trouble for it. Ya know, if we carry on like this, the authors notes are gonna be longer than the rest of the chapter. Wouldn't that be ironic. Our longest chapter is outlongered by authors notes…