'What the fuck am I doing.'

School had finished and instead of going home and watching red racer (no, I'm not too old. Fuck off.), I'm standing in the cold outside the door of the dipshit, Kenny McCormick. Even though I spent most of the day telling myself I'd done all I had to and he was no longer my problem, I was still drawn to go and see him. Maybe it was because he paid attention to me today. Or maybe it was because he just looked so terrible. Whatever it was, I blew off all my friend's attempts at getting me to hang out with them and travelled to McCormick's house.

I bit my lip and rolled my piercing into my mouth before raising my gloved hand and knocking on the door. To be honest I didn't even know what I was going to do. I'm not his friend and I know shit all about him. I'm still not quite sure why I'm even here. "Yes? Oh! Hello Craig, d' you want Kenny?" Carol McCormick stood in the doorway, her red hair resting over one shoulder.

"Er- yeah, is he better?" I asked emotionlessly.

"No, he's just been sleepin' the day away. His friends were just here to see 'im so he might be a bit tired. You can go up an' see 'im though. Top of the stairs, second room on the right." With that she stepped away from the door and I stepped inside.

I'd heard the McCormicks were poor but I thought those stories were exaggerated. Empty beer cans and food wrappers littered the floor. Cracks showed in the walls and every so often a rat would scurry across the floor. How could anyone live in a shit hole like this? Carol pointed towards the stair case before heading into what looked to be a kitchen. I'm guessing - it looked fucked up. As I began to climb the steps creaked under my weight and I began to worry I was never going to leave this house alive.

Kenny's room wasn't too hard to find since it was labelled 'Kenny's Room'. For the second time that day I stood outside a door in conflict. "Just walk in, see how he is and walk out," I muttered, knocking on the door.

"For the last fucking time, Cartman, I don't have fucking rabies!" Kenny shouted weakly. I smirked slightly to myself and reached to open the door before it was wrenched open to reveal a half naked McCormick looked pissed off.

"Oh, it's you. Hey," he smiled sheepishly. For some reason I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. His slender, sculpted torso rippled as he breathed and his messy blond hair framed his strong jaw. I just wanted to push him to the wall and slam my lips against his perfect ones, while running my hand over his fucking gorgeous abs. 'What the fuck, Tucker?' I thought to myself, pushing my weird thoughts to the back of my mind.

"H-hey, how...um...are you?" I stammered weakly, pulling on my lip ring. Kenny looked at me closely.

"Shit? But why do you care? I thought Craig Tucker didn't care about anyone?"

"Neither did I," I muttered. I was trying really hard to keep my eyes locked on his green ones.

"Then why are you here?"

"I don't know." Kenny stared at me for a moment before stepping to the side.

"Come in, then. I guess we'll both find out eventually."

Kenny's room was similar to the rest of his house. Messy and broken. The only difference was the shit tonne of posters featuring girls in bikinis, girls lying on cars and girls pole dancing, adorning his walls. It was enough to make a guy go nuts, but for some reason I didn't feel the same way about the posters as I felt about him. I watched him climb into his double bed and lay down under the covers. 'God, how I wish I was in that bed w-WHAT THE FUCK.' I thought to myself, crushing every single gay thought I was having and removing any form of emotion from my face. 'I like girls, I've dated girls. I'm straight. I'm just feeling woozy from the heat in here.'

"Sit down," said Kenny, not noticing my inner crisis and pointing to the end of his bed. I wandered over and sat down, leaning my back against the wall. "So why do you suddenly care about me?" I grit my teeth.

"Why did you suddenly notice me." Hurt filled his blue eyes and I looked at the floor. Maybe that was a bit harsh.

"What do you mean? I sat next to you on the bus because Cartman was being a dick and I didn't want to break up the 'super gay friends'. Was there a problem with that, because if there was I won't do it again."

"No, there wasn't a problem," I sighed, "but why today? I mean you've never shown any interest in me before and -"

"I could say the same to you. I'm 'showing more interest' in you because it's our last year of school and there are people that I'd like to talk to that I've never spoken to before. I think you're pretty cool and mysterious - I've always wanted to know more about you but I've never had a chance. What's your reason? Why are you here?" I wasn't expecting that. Such a show of emotion from someone I hardly knew. He was right though, why was I here?

"I came because you got sick and since I took you to the office I thought your sorry ass deserved a visit." Lame. His eyes flicked to mine for a second and he looked like he didn't believe me. Rightly so.

"Okay, did you bring my 'sorry ass' some food?" He teased, dropping the subject. I smiled slightly before reaching into my bag and pulling out the rest of the packet of crisps.

"Here," I dead panned, throwing the bag at him. His eyes lit up and he threw the covers off, picking up the packet and moving to sit closer to me. I stiffened and tried to keep my eyes off his torso which was back in my view again.

"Thanks," he said, ignoring my obvious discomfort and inhaling the packet of crisps.

I fiddled with my lip ring as I watched him from the corner of my eye. He still looked rather pale and sickly but he was obviously well enough to argue with me about my reasons for visiting him and fucking destroy the half packet of crisps. Kenny looked at me, his head slightly tilted, as he crumpled up the empty packet in his hand and pegged it at the floor. "Y'know you're really hard to read, Craig, but something is telling me that you actually care a lot more than you let on. I think you're the most caring person in the whole of South Park, you're just too afraid to let anyone see." I looked at him in shock and for the first time in ages, I let some emotion creep into my voice.

"Thank you." It actually felt good to not hold back.