A/N

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update, I'd wanted to get Revenge is Sweet finished first, so I could concentrate properly on this one. I hope it doesn't seem disjointed, apologies if it does, I'm firmly back on track with this one now, so unless writers block gets in my way I won't take as long to update again, thanks for reading, please R&R

Needed

A knock as the door jolted her awake, "Ma'am?" said Shaz as she opened the door to the flat, "Spare key" she said to a confused looking Alex. "How you feeling?"

"Fine Shaz" she said wincing as she adjusted her position on the sofa, "Slept funny" she added seeing the concerned look on Shaz's face, "The pain killers really knock me out."

"You should really be lying down properly, come on let's get you to bed" she gently eased Alex to her feet and ushered her to the bedroom.

Alex sighed, she knew Shaz was trying to help, but the thought of having to rely on people filled her with dread, she had been independent from the day her parents died, she had to be, yes she had Evan, but it wasn't the same as having your parents with you. Her heart sank at that last thought, she knew exactly what Molly must be going through, but it would be worse for her. At least when her parents blown up she could start to grieve straight away, Molly had to wait, everything for her hung in the balance, not knowing if your mother's going to live or die; and Evan, he must be reliving his mistakes, knowing that this all stemmed from his affair with my mother, it had to be Evan Layton had been talking to on the phone the day he shot me, who else could it be?

Sitting down on the bed, she let Shaz help her undress and put on the oversized men's pyjamas, his pyjamas, "Do you know what happened with the Guv?"

"Not really Ma'am, not had a chance to speak to Chris yet, you know what it's like me being the 'glorified typist', but I don't think it went well."

"Did he say he'd be popping in?" she asked a little too eagerly.

"Thing is Ma'am, from what I could gather I don't think he's allowed to see you"

Alex's heart sank; of all the times she needed him this was definitely one of them. After 'seeing' Molly and then returning to this world, her emotions were up in the air. She desperately wanted to get back to Molly, but was ashamed of how happy she had been to wake up here, with Gene. She was starting to understand why Sam's need to get back to them had overtaken his need to stay in 2006, but then he had nothing to stay for. Was suicide really the only option? Would that be the only way Molly could join her? She mentally slapped herself at the thought, how could she even contemplate, all be it briefly, killing herself and her child just so they could live here?

"Shaz? Could you get me my sleeping tablets and pain killers please" at least that way I can sleep without feeling anything.

"Of course Ma'am" said Shaz, before going in search of the tablets.

ooOoo

Taking another swig of his whiskey, Gene sank back into the sofa. He hated his flat, it wasn't home just somewhere he slept, and even that wasn't frequently, he spent more time passed out on Alex's sofa or in his office than he did in his own bed.

Alex. How had it come to this? People thinking he'd meant to shoot her, his Bolly, people thinking he was 'in' on Operation Rose, with that bitch Jeanette.

One flutter of her eyelashes and a few snide comments was all it took for him to think Alex was corrupt. The only person he had felt connected to after Sam, the only person he could truly trust, and he'd thrown it all away over a blonde tart, and not just any blonde tart, but Tiny Tim's bloody sister. But then there was the tape.

The tape, the one that had ripped his heart from his chest and cut it into a million little pieces. 'She had to fight him', if she hated him that much, why didn't she just ask for a transfer, instead of staying, leading him to believe they were something more than just work colleagues. And then there was the crap about the future.

He took a large swig from his glass, leant forward and lit another cigarette.

The future, even that was nutty for her, what had she expected him to say? 'Oh right then, yes that explains everything, off you trot back to work.' After he'd accused her of lying, the hurt in her eyes was evident; in her pretty little messed up head she believed she was telling him the truth. Why the fuck didn't you try and help her? She obviously needed you, and you pushed her away. And shot her.

He flicked the ash from his cigarette in the direction of the already overflowing ashtray, and knocked back the remnants of his whiskey.

You shot her Gene. Yes he had been angry, but to call her a cold mother, suspend her, threaten to kill her, and almost complete the job. It had never meant to go down like that. He had wanted to hurt her, not physically, he'd never intentionally hurt her or any woman like that, but emotionally. He wanted to hurt her like she'd hurt him.

He kept playing those last few minutes over in his head, that copper saying he was disappointed she couldn't be corrupted; he had never hated himself more at hearing those words. She'd been innocent, and he'd not believed her. He could see it now, if she had been corrupt why would she have told them where Operation Rose was going to go down? It didn't make sense, if it hadn't been for that bloody tape.

When she was grabbed by Jeanette, he'd felt sick in the bit of his stomach, saving her once just for her to be threatened again. Seeing the cold metal of the gun pressed against her head, the fear in her eyes. The shots ringing out, her face, the blood, her eyes closing, face paling, laying on the ground her precious life ebbing away. Even then he hadn't comforted her, hadn't done a thing, just stood over her, watching, if it hadn't been for Chris, Ray and Shaz, Alex would be dead.

He poured himself another tumbler full of whiskey and took two large gulps, stubbing the cigarette out he ran his hands over his face.

They'd been so close, closer than he'd ever felt to any woman. He'd wanted to shag her from the first day she'd swooned into his life, but he didn't anymore, well he did but he wanted the whole package, not just a shag. And now there was no chance of that, she'd forgiven him for the shooting, but what about everything else? Could he forgive her for the things she'd said? If they did forgive each other, would either of them forget or would it forever linger beneath the surface, rearing its ugly head when they couldn't think of another insult to through at each other. Would they end up hating one another? Should she transfer? Or should he go back to Manchester, the city is so dearly missed, where he had a kingdom, where he had respect, where there was no Bolly?

He needed her, they worked well together, she made him feel alive, encouraged the fire in his belly to reignite, pushed him to solve cases by the book, moulded him into the man he was today.

They needed to talk; he needed answers that only she could give. Reynolds had warned him to stay away, said he could be charged with intimidating a witness. Bollocks to that, he needed to see her and this couldn't wait.

TBC