AN- The following will be a Kazuma POV. BTW, tan tien is a Chinese term used in tai chi to represent the center of balance located between the belly button and the pelvic area. I don't know what it is called in Japanese. Also, I am using the term qi to represent the chi energy used in martial arts. I could be wrong but I think qi is the Japanese spelling for it…. As always, please read and review-let me know what I can do better! To my existing reviewers: Thank you so much for your support and feedback! It makes me want to write even better to keep you all happy! Reviews encourage me to post new chapters and reassure me that I am not a completely vacuous air head writing crap that no one wants to read LOL.
-I do not own Fruits Basket!-
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"Haaa!" Three orderly rows of young men and women in white karategi executed neat round snap kicks in one fluid synchronized motion. "Haaa!" The entire room dropped into a leg sweep in unison.
I watched as my students executed their drills, practicing the moves and techniques we had been working on all week. Normally I really enjoyed the time I spent with them in the dojo, but today I felt restless and distracted. I just couldn't keep my mind focused. I kept finding my thoughts drifting back to the day I met Kyo's friend, Saki Hanajima. Thoughts of her had been haunting me ever since.
I had thought that time would lessen the power that her memory held over me, but four months had come and gone since I had seen Kyo's class perform "Sorta Cinderella" and I had met her; and yet it seemed that each day she more fully occupied my mind. Now I was so obsessed with my memory of her and the humming energy that flowed between us when we touched that it was interfering with my ability to focus on my work.
I was really puzzled by the strange energy that coursed back and forth between us as she had held my hand. I had never had that happen before when shaking someone's hand. I knew the energy to be some sort of manifestation of qi energy, but that still didn't explain why our contact had sparked it.
I guiltily redirected my focus back at the students, chastising myself for not giving them my full attention. I really didn't know why it was so hard to concentrate today. Liar, my brain said. You know exactly why. I saw the image of her as I had seen her that day outside the dojo, with black cloak flowing and long black hair, unbound and streaming out behind her, silhouetted against the back drop of the setting sun. She really was a remarkably beautiful girl. She was so striking with her black hair and creamy white skin. I imagined her skin to be soft and smooth like a fine silk kimono. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up guiltily, ashamed of my thoughts which should have been focused on the fourteen students in the dojo, and not on my foster son's friend.
"Shishou, are you all right?" Kyo was looking at me with concern evident in his reddish-brown eyes.
"I'm feeling all right, Kyo." I smiled, not wanting to worry him. I stood up and brought my hands together in a sharp clap. The students immediately discontinued their practice and stood at attention facing me.
"You are all progressing nicely. It is clear that you have devoted a lot of time at home to your practice." The students looked visibly pleased at my praise. I wasn't a harsh teacher, but I did not give praise often and only when it was earned. "I know this is out of character for me, but I am going to dismiss you fifteen minutes early today. I expect you to continue to practice diligently at home each day. I will see you back on Thursday at our regular time." I bowed to them and the students bowed in return before collecting their shoes and slowly filing out the door. I began picking up mats and Kyo came over to assist me.
"Shishou, are you sure you are feeling all right? I can take care of cleaning and putting away the mats if you need to go lie down…?" He lifted up the other end of the mat I was dragging out back to clean off.
"Really, Kyo, I am fine. I think I just need some time to meditate and introspect. I'm feeling a bit mentally scattered today." We set the mat down in the grass, and I went into the shed to get the disinfectant spray bottles and some paper towels to wipe down the mats. I tossed one bottle to Kyo and tore off some towels for the two of us. With our combined efforts, we were able to clean the mats and put them away in fifteen minutes. I could feel Kyo's concern hovering over me like a dark, oppressive cloud, so I shooed him off to Shigure's house, telling him I couldn't hear myself think with all of his worried thoughts fluttering around my head like a flock of blackbirds.
Sitting alone in the house after he left, I felt like I actually had some space to try to think. Settling into a cross-legged lotus position on the floor, I rested my hands on my knees and I focused on centering my attention in my tan tien. But instead of feeling stillness and peace, I merely felt more restless. I didn't want to meditate and focus; I wanted to think about her. A curious pang of emotion was nagging at me that I couldn't quite identify. Sighing, I allowed my attention to drift into that feeling, trying to identify what it was that was troubling me. But all I could think about was Saki Hanajima.
Why couldn't I get my mind off her? After twenty minutes of fighting with my own rebellious thoughts I was feeling particularly frustrated. I decided to give up any efforts at meditating and introspecting. Maybe all I needed was a long walk to clear my mind. I left the house and began walking briskly down the street towards the high school. I knew I was walking that way in hope of running into her again, but I didn't care.
"Maybe if we did bump into each other, it would get her off my mind," I said to myself quietly, as though saying it out loud might somehow make it more true.
"Do you make a habit of talking to yourself?" a soft, feminine voice said from directly beside me. I swung around sharply, startled by the question. It was her. How on earth did she do that? It's not exactly easy to sneak up on me since I have been training in the martial arts for over thirty years, and I made a point of being aware of my surroundings. I had no idea how she came to be standing directly next to me. I flushed red when I realized she had heard me talking to myself about her. She continued to look at me with a single eyebrow arched questioningly, a slight smile hovering on her lips, waiting expectantly for my answer.
"Um, not too often, but I guess I do sometimes." Wow. That was an incredibly intelligent reply. Why on earth was I reacting like a school boy with a crush? My normal adult ease and confidence in conversation seemed to have been reduced to all the awkwardness of a preteen boy. I was forty-three and I really should be beyond this sort of thing. I really wished that she had not come upon me talking to myself. Why I wanted to look good in front of a seventeen year old girl I didn't want to examine in too much depth; I was afraid of what I might see.
"Sometimes I find myself thinking out loud when something is troubling me," she said softly while looking out across the park we stood beside. "You seemed to be deep in thought while you were walking; I suspect you were doing the same." She turned her face up to look at me and she smiled. I found myself sinking down into her violet eyes as though I was being sucked into a whirlpool. The pang of emotion I had been feeling earlier intensified, I recognized it for what it was: love and longing. I found myself wanting to run my hand through her silky black hair, draw her face close to mine and …! With great effort, I wrenched my gaze away from her face and with what focus I had left, I stilled the energy and heat that was pooling in my groin. Oh my God I am turning into a dirty old man! I felt betrayed by my own body and mind. These were not thoughts I would normally entertain! I struggled to redirect my thoughts so I could actually speak coherently.
"I was out walking, trying to clear my head. I've felt restless and unfocused today." I explained, all the while wondering why I thought I should have to explain anything to a seventeen year old girl. But I found I really wanted her to think well of me. She didn't act like a seventeen year old. She seemed much more calm and mature than most seventeen year old girls I had met. There was a stillness about her that was soothing to be around, so unlike the normal frenetic activity and noise that accompanied most teenagers.
"Am I perhaps keeping you from your walk? I do not wish to inconvenience you." she asked mildly. In actuality, she was, but I found myself loathe to part company with her yet. I was surprised to hear myself inviting her to join me. Her face light up in a smile that took my breath away and she looped her arm through mine. It struck me that I should be feeling somewhat taken aback by the familiarity in which we were indulging, but my mind beat that unwelcome thought down and buried it under the pleasure I was feeling from having her in such close proximity to me. Besides, walking with her like this, looped arm in arm, somehow felt right, as though I had been missing something before and only realized it now that I was complete.
I felt that strange, pleasant buzz of warm energy spreading through my arm from where we touched, and I thought to ask her if she felt it too, but then I thought better of it. If she didn't feel it then she might think I was hitting on her and that I was a perverted old man. From the back of my mind a little voice asked me how fantasizing about her and walking arm and arm with her were different from being a perverted old man, but again, I smashed my reservations and buried them under half hearted justifications for my behavior that I didn't really believe.
As we walked in a companionable silence down the sidewalk, I was struck with the inspiration to take her through the park. Some of the cherry trees by the koi pond in the meditation garden still had their blossoms, and I found myself wanting to share the beauty of flowers with her even though I was sure she had probably seen the trees in bloom thousands of times before. Somehow though, it seemed as though they would be so much more beautiful when viewed with her.
"If it is all right with you, I would like to walk through the meditation garden, Saki-chan," I said, once again surprising myself with the liberty I was taking, calling her by her first name. Again, I justified my behavior, telling myself it was okay because I was older than her and she was my son's friend.
"I would like that, Kazuma-kun" she replied softly. The way she spoke my name made it sound like she was caressing it as it came out of her mouth, and it increased the frequency of the tingling in my arm. I conveniently chose not to try to justify her familiar use of my first name as my brain was now completely scattered and overwhelmed by a heady, dizzy feeling of anticipation and elation.
As we walked along a rustic path between groves of plum, maple and cherry trees, I found myself pondering her motives for walking with me. Why would a seventeen year old girl want to walk through the park with a middle aged man like myself? Why wasn't she out shopping and talking with her girl friends? Then again, Saki Hanajima did not seem to be the sort of girl who had much interest in the normal frivolities teen girls engage in. It was easier for me to imagine her reading novels or writing haikus. She seemed so much older to me than seventeen, maybe that's why I was so attracted to her.
Part of my brain gasped and reeled at that admission, but fortunately for the rest of me that was completely bewitched by her presence, it keeled over and fainted before it could raise any objections. Maybe she chose to walk with me because she was attracted to me as well? That thought proved to be too much for my mind to process and I slipped into a daze, with all coherent thought drowning in a sea of high emotions.
That's when I noticed we weren't walking any more. I looked in front of me and we were standing at the edge of the koi pond. Long branches, bending with the weight of abundant blossoms hung low over the pond; as the breeze caught the branches, making them sway gently, tiny blossoms drifted down falling like rosy snowflakes, creating tiny concentric circling ripples on the surface of the water. I glanced at Saki. She was looking up at the falling blossoms as they floated softly down toward the earth. The breeze caught some of the pale pink blossoms and deposited them playfully in her long, black hair. She was so beautiful I felt my breath catch in my chest. She turned her eyes, wide with delight, toward me. I couldn't breathe. I felt so many conflicting emotions running through me, pulling me in every direction. I wanted to pull her into my arms and devour her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and feel her heart beating next to mine. I wanted to run immediately home and hide in my meditation room until I could get these inappropriate thoughts out of my head! What was I thinking?!?!
But I wasn't thinking anymore; that was the problem. I leaned down and cupped her head in my hands, turning her face up towards me and I pressed my lips gently against hers, feeling shock waves of pleasurable energy explode from the contact, blotting out my awareness of anything other than Saki. All conscious thought disappeared and I was left submerged in waves of throbbing, pulsing energy. Her arms wrapped gently around me as she pressed closer to my body, moving into my kiss, which only amplified the energy's frequency.
I felt as though we were suspended in mid-air, floating rapturously in a timeless, beautiful fuschia haze of cherry blossoms and rosy passion. Every romantic cliché and feeling was playing out in the movie screen of my mind as I found myself nestled firmly in the reality of this kiss, the first one I had experienced in this lifetime.
"Saki," a male voice said softly, shattering my rapt absorption in the kiss, sending fragments of my romantic flights of fancy falling all around me like broken glass and bringing me fully back to the present. My face flushing red, I hurriedly let go of Saki, and I looked around us confusedly, wondering who was addressing her. My gaze fell on a boy standing directly to my right who appeared to be Saki's male twin.
How on earth did he suddenly appear there! He was dressed all in black from head to foot, with short black hair that fell lightly across his forehead and swept just below his brow. There was no doubting that this had to be her brother. Hana looked surprised to see him, but she quickly gathered her wits about her and she introduced us.
"Kazuma-kun, I would like you to meet my brother, Hanajima Megumi. Megumi, this is Sohma Kyo's foster father, Sohma Kazuma. He runs a local karate dojo." Megumi's expression never changed but he extended his hand. I shook it, noticing that there was no strange manifestation of energy, just normal skin-on-skin contact.
"I am very pleased to meet you, Sohma Kazuma-san," he said in a quiet, flat intonation that was so similar to Saki-chan's. Megumi looked at Saki. "Mother is looking for you. It's time for us to leave to visit our grandparents." I thought I detected a flash of impatience move across Saki-chan's face, but I couldn't be certain. She turned to me and took my hand.
"It has been a pleasure walking through the park with you, Kazuma-kun. I'm certain we will have opportunity to do so again." I found myself nodding in agreement, still somewhat dazed by what had transpired between us and the feelings that were ricocheting within me. I sat down on a stone bench by the pond and I watched as Saki and Megumi walked away silently, and I wondered what the hell had just happened.
AN: As always, thank you for taking the time to read my story and please review. Have a great day!