Again, I'm sorry for such slow updates. This is my first real story and I'm still getting used to writing chapters! Please enjoy and leave a review!

I woke up and was grateful to feel the familiarity of my comforter for a small moment before I felt the crinkle of sketching paper. My eyes snapped open as I lifted the drawing, hoping the sketch would be different from when my aunt had given it to me. I took a peek at the paper and threw it down with a groan. It was still very much the same. I was sitting up in my bed debating whether to burn or tear the piece apart when a light rap was heard upon my door.

"Come in," I called as I stuffed the drawing under my pillow, deciding to deal with it later. The door creaked open and I saw my mother peek in before entering a bit bashful.

"You don't need to be awake for another hour," my mother mentioned as she acknowledged the alarm clock that sat on my nightstand. 5:00 AM, it read. I pressed my palms to my eyes and sighed. I wouldn't be able to get that hour back this week. My mother laughed slightly at my actions before softly continuing.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday when you came home," Mom began slowly, "I just can't bear the idea of losing you, it hurts too much." She was shaking her head now, grimacing. For a moment, I was incredibly tempted to tell her everything. About how Emma was on to the secret, about Jane and Alec, how I felt about that ridiculous vampire-

"But you're forgiving Jacob, right?"

My mother's words cut through my thoughts and rang so clearly it made me think my ears would bleed. I opened my mouth to speak but it had felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. Mom gave me an expecting look as she waited for my response.

"W-why should I forgive him so soon?" I asked, confused. To be quite honest, I did not want to forgive him for a century. He had kissed me! My best friend had decided now was the right time to put moves on me! I felt frustration now, as I continued to mumble unintelligible excuses to my vampire mother.

"You know Jake only wants the best for you, Renesmee," she pressed. I bit back tears as I tried not to be sickened by the thought. I need time, I wanted to say, leave me alone! After receiving no response from me my mother let out an impatient sigh. "Renesmee, Alice told me about the sketch. She told me about your reaction."

"Fine. I'll… talk to him later. After school," I finally replied. Anything to stop this guilt my mother was putting upon me. My mother made a soft sound of relief as she sat down beside me on the bed and ran her hand down my hair.

"That's- that's very good. He'll be here after school, then," Mom smiled encouragingly and I bit back a vampiric hiss. I get it mother, I mentally told her even though she would never hear the words, you want your best friend to be happy. But what about me?

My mother must have seen something in my expression, for she stood up and started walking to the door to give me space. Just before she entered the hall she looked over her shoulder to give me a weak smile.

"Seth is downstairs. He wants to see how you're doing." She told me and I nodded, taking a deep breath. I could talk to Seth. I think. As soon as the door shut behind me I threw back the covers and ran to my wardrobe at my fastest speed, causing the dresser to shake. Maybe Seth will go on a walk with me, maybe I can tell him! That thought was soon diminished as I realized Jacob would find out, which would lead to my father finding out, which could very well lead to him leaving. I couldn't walk with him and tell him today, I don't think I could ever be able to.

I heard my father's voice drift from downstairs as he made mindless chatter with the youngest Clearwater and I knew he was listening to my thoughts. Dad did that often, he would be frustrated when something was unclear in one's thoughts and would try to distract himself from it. At least that meant my secret was still safe.

I brushed through my curls at a slow pace, considering doing one hundred strokes for each strand to pass time before I had to socialize. I gave up on that quite fast, though, as my hair was the longest of anyone I knew. My mother was the one to make that decision for me, to never cut my hair. It was down to my waist now and while I usually tied it up I knew that today was just one of those days where I couldn't stand the length. Instead, I tied my hair up in a ponytail and finished my morning routine before skipping steps down the stairs.

"I'm awake," I called to the house- even though it was unnecessary to do so- as I entered the front room. I strode over to the piano sitting in the corner of the room and began to play out my lullaby Dad had written for me. I was very caught up in the music, too much to not even notice Seth enter the room and sit on the couch nearest to me.

"Hey, Scotland! Your piano skills are as sharp as ever!" Seth chirped as he picked up one of Aunt Rose's magazines. He flipped through, making faces now and then at the articles, and I grinned.

"Like I could ever lose my touch," I replied with a giggle, "Rose is going to be furious that her magazine smells like wet dog." I walked at a human pace over to where Seth was sitting and plopped on the couch next to him. "So what are you doing here so early?"

Seth hesitated and my brow furrowed. Seth couldn't ever have an ulterior motive; even if he was trying he was always genuine. Finally, he let himself explain, "I thought you might want to talk. You know, without all the extra ears," he tilted his head towards the front door, "wanna go on a walk?"

I wanted to say yes and take the day off school just to relax, but I was becoming too obsessed with my project partner to want to miss getting my daily dose of seeing him. It was like I was addicted and I so badly needed the unwanted rehab if I wanted to be safe. So, of course, I compromised.

"How about you ride with me to school? If you don't mind walking back home, I mean," my face flushed slightly as I ran a hand over my head, smoothing the nonexistent stray pieces of hair. I was so used to everyone doing everything to make me happy, and this was the first time I realized that I could be acting selfish if I made Seth walk home after I deliberately drove him farther away from where he lived.

"I can wolf up, Scotland," Seth reminded me with a grin as he bounced on to his feet and pulled me up with him. I gave a relieved laugh and shook my head.

"School doesn't start for another hour or so, Seth, I'm not that excited to go to school," I teased him as I grabbed the fashion magazine and flipped to an article talking about the Best Sleepover Games Ever! I pointed to the first game on the page, which depicted applying each other's makeup blindfolded, and then placed my hand on my best friend's cheek.

"Renesmee!" Seth made a sound of indignation to my proposal and I giggled. The game had reminded me of an incident when I was about three. I looked twelve, then, so my Aunt Alice had decided that it was time I learned how to put on more than just lip gloss. Unfortunately, I had inherited my mother's hatred for the supplies and my aunt was getting frustrated when I refused to even try. So, she had taken Seth into the room when she couldn't find Jacob and told me that Seth would be learning with me.

At least Seth can apply the perfect amount of liquid eyeliner now.

"Well, at least I didn't fall asleep on the Seattle city bus and wake up in their garage at midnight!" Seth defended with a pout and I gasped dramatically.

"That was once and I was tired!"

Both of us then laughed and spent the next hour trying to humiliate the other with their worst memories. Seth ended up winning, unfortunately, but it had been unfair from the start since he has known me my entire life. At least, that's what I told myself. We continued our banter for ten more minutes as I parked in the parking lot of the school, my cheeks flushed and my stomach hurting from the laughter.

This is what I miss, I mused, having my best friends to laugh with. I thought about Jacob and felt a swirl of guilt, pain, and betrayal then. I didn't want this to be my life. I had to avoid my best friend. I took a breath as a wave of uneasiness came over me as Seth and I stepped out of the car.

"You okay, Scotland?" Seth asked in a skeptical tone. I sighed and gave a forced smile.

"Never better. Just- school, I guess." I gave a wistful look before Seth hesitantly nodded. I knew he didn't believe my story, but there wasn't much he could do about it. No one knew, no one could know. Seth looked like he was going to say something, before he closed his mouth and nodded again.

"If there's anything you need me to do, I'll do it. So will Jacob. Actually," he gave a short and cheerful laugh, "anyone would do anything to make sure you're happy."

Seth had grinned with the promise he spoke of, and I gave as convincing a smile as I could back. He waved goodbye and I watched his receding figure with a frown. Was that really how my family and the pack thought of me? Would they really jump in front of a bullet to make sure I was safe? I always knew that they had cared, but now I was seeing this in an entirely new light. I didn't want anyone dying for me, not again. I wanted to get off this pedestal, I wanted to get away.

Why was I thinking like this? What had happened that made me open my eyes to how imperfect my life really was? Even as I thought these questions, I knew the answer. I knew why everything was being turned upside down. But even as I became perfectly aware, I knew I was not going to distance myself any farther from the problem.

XxXxX

I sat in my English class, closely observing my pencil as my teacher talked about the poetry of Tennyson. Like I needed to listen. I had literally been reading that since I was three months old. Mr. Richards' chalk scratched against the chalkboard as he began writing the details to a test we were having next week on the summer reading material. I looked up rather bored as I began to copy the details, even if I wouldn't need them. Despite having half-human instincts, my memory was almost as impeccable as a vampire's.

Multi-tasking, I wrote down the notes as my mind wandered. I needed answers from Alec. I at least deserved to know his purpose if he was going to be watching me all the time during school hours. Besides, I had done something to him, Jane said so. I tried not to smile hopefully to myself as I thought that I may be having the same affect on him that he does on me. If only, I thought despairingly, he's evil anyway. You don't need him.

Isn't that what any human teenager thought about their crush?

I was wallowing in my inner turmoil when the PA system suddenly beeped and the principal's slightly panicked voice came on to the loudspeaker.

"Attention staff and students, this is a lockdown announcement. Please follow protocol and stay quiet as we wait for further instruction from the police."

I saw many faces; mine included most likely, turn to ones of shock and fear as the students cluttered into a small group on the floor in the corner. Mr. Richards, tripping in his loafers slightly, shut the door and the curtains with shaking hands. I heard the heartbeats of my teacher and classmates pounding in my head, causing me to feel even more terror. Lockdown drills, I had been told, were used for emergencies only. Everyone would have been informed had this been only a drill. According to Grandpa Charlie, this meant something (or someone) dangerous was nearby. I had another question for Alec now.

Why was he blowing his cover? My family wasn't stupid! They were going to hunt for him and find him and then find out-

Oh no.

They would find out that I was keeping their presence a secret and then that would lead to my secret: that Alice's vision wasn't of Jacob.

I sat there in fear and frustration, staring at the closed blinds to my left. Why? I asked myself for the millionth time today, why me? The latter was not a new phrase that I thought.

I first thought it when my mother gave me my locket. It had in scripted all of my mother's love into it, and that was when I was sure that we were going to die. The Volturi were going to kill us. Why me? Why do they want to hurt my family?

When I started aging normally, my parents starting signing me up for all sorts of classes, so I could find my "passion". I had chosen a theater class, and they had made me perform a Shakespeare sonnet in front of dozens of people because I was a "gifted" child. Why me? Why do I have to say these words in front of everyone?

When my best friend kissed me in what was once my favorite place to be I had thought why me? Why did my life turn out to be this imperfect?

I knew why. My life wasn't a fairytale. It wasn't even an awkward human's story of living through high school. I was stuck in the middle and I didn't get either happy ending.

XxXxX

My class remained in terrified silence for three more hours before the PA system alerted us again. The entire police station looked to be in the parking lot, I noted, as the shades were slowly brought up. I hadn't seen anything like this before. It was only confirming my suspicions: vampires were involved.

"We have contacted every parent that was reachable, and we ask that everyone exits the school immediately and please stay inside your homes."

The principal's voice was cracking slightly, as if she had been crying, as she gave the orders. She must have known the victim, if there even was a victim. It was a small town, so there would most definitely be many connections to whoever it was. But this is the Pacific Northwest, I reminded myself, it could have easily been a bear sighted near the school.

But that couldn't be the case. I don't know how I knew, but it just- did not fit. There wasn't an overpopulation of bears in the area; Uncle Emmett would have been on top of that problem in a flash. If it had been the "giant wolves" that were reported when my mother was in high school, then Grandpa Charlie wouldn't have taken three hours to make the investigation safe enough for all the students to go home. My brow was furrowed as I concentrated on walking to my locker to get my jacket. No one was allowed to talk during the evacuation, which made the human heartbeats unbearable once again. I arrived to my locker and focused on entering the correct combination when I felt a cool hand against my back. I straightened immediately and spun around, my eyes wide with fear.

"It wasn't Jane. Nor did I kill this human. Do not tell your family we are here, agreed?" Alec hissed. We were merely inches apart from each other, and I felt my breath catch in my throat as I silently nodded. I should have said no, now was a perfect time for me to be able to get my family's attention to the twins. They would have to confront my coven, and finally leave. Then I could start trying to be normal again. But that feeling stopped me again, the one that was tugging me closer to Alec.

So, instead, I agreed and he was gone.

I walked with my eyes fixed on my shoes as I exited the building with the large group of teenagers. I searched the parking lot for the twins or their car, but they were gone without a trace. Instead, I heard my voice being shouted and I made eye contact with my grandfather. I rushed over to where he was standing near his ages old cruiser and hugged him as tightly as I could without hurting him. It was moments like these that I could still see why my parents saw me as a child, I still felt like one at times myself.

"It's okay, Nessie," Grandpa Charlie awkwardly patted my head, "let's get you home."

I took a deep breath and nodded, remembering that my parents couldn't be here to pick me up because of the questions it would cause. I practically leapt into the passenger seat, throwing my bag at my feet. I was just about to shut the door and wait for my grandfather to climb into the driver's side when I hear my name being called again.

"Hey, wait a second!" The boy from my history class, Zachary, called as he approached the cruiser, "do you know where Jane went?"

I looked at him, pure shocked written on my face. Why on earth would he be worried about Jane? Zachary sighed impatiently as his hand gestured for an answer.

"I- don't know. Why?" I asked warily. Did he know about us? Was that why he acted so strangely? That wouldn't explain why he was asking where Jane Volturi was.

"She's in my math class and I was sitting next to her in the lockdown. When the cops arrived and were talking about the victim's body found in the woods-"

"'A victim's body in the woods?' It was a murder? How did you hear them?"

"I just could, alright?" Zachary replied bitterly as I had interrupted his explanation, "as I was saying, the second they said the body had been mutilated and drained of blood she hissed 'Luciana' and was itching to leave for the next hour."

I looked at Zachary silently for a moment, shocked. He had heard the cops show up, which meant that he definitely was not human since even I couldn't hear their conversations. Then, the victim's body was one of a vampire attack for sure. Whoever had died, it was because of a meal. What Jane had supposedly said clicked with what Alec had insisted. Jane and Alec weren't the ones to commit this murder. The Volturi weren't messy like this; I remember one of Carlisle's friends saying that. Did this mean there were more vampires in the area?

"I don't know where she is, sorry," I said quickly as I shut the door, leaving Zachary confused on the other side. He turned back to walk to his car, and I noted he had no family to pick him up. What was Forks? A beacon for all things crazy?

"Hey, Ness," my grandfather began as he slipped into the car, "who was that? I don't recognize him."

"Just another new kid," I replied softly as I stared at the dashboard. Today was becoming too much, and I wanted to go home and sleep.

Grandpa Charlie drove me to the Cullen home quietly. He must have thought I was shaken up about someone dying, and I was, just for different reasons. My parents were waiting outside for me, standing as still as statues as the cruiser parked itself in front of the house. My grandfather was the only one outside of the pack's families that has seen the un-aging Cullens in seventeen years, and I could still see in his eyes when he looked at my mom that it unsettled him.

"Any further news?" Dad asked stiffly, as if he couldn't discuss this in front of me. I huffed as I grabbed my bag and sped inside. My mother smiled at her father before following me into the house.

"Renesmee-" Mom began.

"I don't want to talk," I snapped as I skipped stairs up to my room. My mother was the last person I wanted to speak to. I stomped into my room, very overdramatically, I had to admit. I jumped back on to my bed and stared at the ceiling. I wanted to figure out this puzzle so badly but I couldn't with my father so close by. He would read my mind and then I would be giving away Alec's secret.

"Why am I keeping his secret?" I groaned at the ceiling.

"Who? Who's secret?" My Aunt Rose's elegant voice questioned and I jumped. I hadn't heard her enter my room. My aunt smiled slightly and sat at the foot of my bed.

"You don't have to tell me, Nessie. But I do want you to know that I realize the drawing isn't of Jacob," she confided and I sucked in a breath as I tried not to think of the twins, "Ness, whoever you choose, I don't care if it's a dog like Jacob or an ignorant human that you met at school. I know I was hard on your mother, but not all of us get a choice like she did. But I just want you to know that I'm on your side, and you should have the choice of who you end up with. Don't let imprinting decide for you."

I felt tears spring into my eyes at Rosalie's words. She was like my second mother and right now, I couldn't be more thankful for her words. My mother had grown used to Jacob imprinting, and she wanted her best friend to have her happy ending by using me. Aunt Rose didn't believe that, she had just said it, and now I knew who I could trust. My parents had built a life for me the second I was born and made all the decisions in it. But I was going to change course and not let something as old and traditional as imprinting dictate how I spend my immortal life.

Besides, since when have hybrids been considered the norm?

I have been waiting for this event to be written! It's very important and introduces a hilarious character that I am eager to share! The next chapter will be Alec's POV, so we will get to see all of his motives and plans. Hopefully, it will answer some questions as well. If I'm very inspired, you can expect the next chapter to be released as early as next week! I've been planning it for quite awhile, but it is still an unwritten chapter, unfortunately :( Thank you so much for reading, and for all your lovely reviews! I would love to see more of your thoughts on how this story is going and whether or not I should speed things up, add more detail, or any confusing moments that you would like cleared up in the next few chapters.