Knock Out started shrieking the second they took off, and didn't stop until he was safely ensconced in the comforting grip of terra firma.

"I didn't actually know someone could scream for that long," Breakdown remarked as he shuffled off Megatronus' alt mode. Knock Out threw a rock at him. It clanged against his mismatched arms and clattered uselessly to the ground.

"Our presence: undetected," Soundwave intoned. Megatronus lurched into root mode beside him.

"They never think to look up in this city," he murmured, turning his gaze skyward. Knock Out looked up. Nope. Nothing but haze and little, puttering clouds of acid rain. Hn. He'd have to check the forecast for the next week.

"Alright," Knock Out clapped his hands, "we're in. Wonderful. Point us in the right direction so we can get this over with and I can go home and drink until I forget today happened."

Breakdown snorted.

A message alert appeared in Knock Out's queue, and—after a precautionary virus scan—he opened it. The sender was Soundwave, so the detailed schematics and road maps were to be expected, but…

"Soundwave," Knock Out said slowly, "what is … this?"

"Kinda cute," Breakdown grunted, his head tilting as he rotated the image, "sorta."

"Image: Ravage."

"Oh?" Knock Out enlarged the drawing. It looked like one of those terrible abstract pieces his secretary used to buy for the clinic, back when he had either of those things. "Is it?"

"Good job," Breakdown offered diplomatically, "it's real nice."

Soundwave beamed. It was surprising how emotive he was for someone without a proper face.

"You don't have an image capture?"

Soundwave shook his head. Megatronus clapped him on the shoulder, doubling him over with the force.

"You never take enough pictures of them when they're young, do you?" He said wistfully.

Breakdown sniffed. Knock Out pressed his fingers to his temple.

Soundwave cleared his throat with a burst of static. "Affirmative. Questions?"

"Nope," Breakdown said, transforming into his alt mode, "let's get going."

"Wait, wait," Knock Out held up his hands, "what happens when we get the drone? Where should we meet you? It isn't like we can just come out of Iacon the same way we went in."

Soundwave flashed a question mark on his face, then turned to Megatronus.

"They don't check caste or passports leaving Iacon," Megatronus said with authority, "so long as you hide Ravage in your alt modes, no one should stop you."

Knock Out stifled a sigh and flipped into alt mode. Where Breakdown was some blocky affront against good taste, he was still a sleek, stunning, and all around enviable masterpiece of aerodynamic engineering. Even if his paint job was… lacking.

"Good luck," Megatronus said. Soundwave waved. They transformed simultaneously and took off, rocketing above the skyline and into the tumultuous green clouds. Knock Out opened the data packet Soundwave had sent him and marked his destination. The GPS readout appeared in the upper lefthand corner of his HUD.

"This is right on the edge of Iacon," Breakdown said from somewhere behind him, "This'll be easy."

"Nothing about this is easy," Knock Out grumbled. He sped up, kicking up dust behind himself. If there was one good thing about Iacon, it was the roads. Iacon was largely populated by cars—it had been a while since Knock Out had seen the census, but cars were above ninety percent the last time he had checked—so the roads were very well maintained. It was unlike Tarn, which was mostly heavy machinery, and other low-caste 'bots. Energon was too expensive for heavy alt modes to be a popular form of transportation.

They crested a hill, and… nothing.

"Where's the place?" Breakdown sank low on his tires, then transformed, "I can't see it."

Knock Out followed suit, squinting into the distance. "Neither can I."

"The GPS says it should be here."

"Yes, I know that. Any more brilliant observations to add?"

"Just one," Breakdown squinted, "the map's backwards."

"What?" Knock Out snapped, bringing up his own copy.

"Well, yeah. Unless we're really lost, I don't think we're supposed to be in Nocai."

Knock Out resisted the urge to yank his wheel left and crash into the nearest wall. To be fair, his paint job was terrible enough that some blunt trauma would probably make it look better.

"Come on," Knock Out grunted and braked suddenly, pulling into a three point turn, "let's go."

"Huh," Breakdown followed suit, albeit more sedately, "wonder why Soundwave flipped the map?"

"I'm starting to wonder why Soundwave does anything," Knock Out grumbled.

The map that had once lead them to the uninhabited edges of the city now took them through the heart of Iacon's traffic. Luckily, the city had been designed with driving in mind, so the gridlock of Kaon (and Vos, the one time Knock Out had visited) was absent. Even the transplanetary highway didn't account for the terrible driving conditions of city-states with low automobile populations. In its place, however, was a lax regard for things like actually staying on the road. Breakdown and Knock Out drove past several fender-benders caused by a heedlessness of drivers to keep driving. Instead, it seemed like they had gotten distracted, or seen a friend, and immediately pulled off the highway and transformed. Sometimes, they pulled off the highway and transformed into someone else.

"Guess it's 'cause the walkways are next to the roads," Breakdown observed as they passed another crash. "Hope no one's hurt."

"Hm. The only thing hurting will be their bank accounts, after they get billed for hitting that streetlight. Although, I imagine they aren't exactly strapped for shanix."

"Yeah," Breakdown chuffed, "you see the mods on that guy?"

"Please, how could I miss them? Really, who told him spoilers that big looked good? Because they were lying."

"Maybe he's got wing envy?"

Knock Out snorted, "Why would anyone want wings when they can have wheels?"

Breakdown laughed.

They drove for a while in relative quiet. Iacon was bustling, so the streets were possibly the furthest thing from silence, but neither Knock Out nor Breakdown did their part to contribute to the ambient noise.

"Left turn here," Breakdown commented absently.

"I have the same map as you."

"Well, then you should know that you just missed the turn."

Knock Out braked, squealing on the roadway as he went from sixty to zero. "Only because you distracted me!"

Breakdown was slower—or had foresight or something stupid like that—and managed to make the turn without scraping too much paint off on the railing. Knock Out sank low on his tires and crept after him, doing his level best to make it seem like he was doing everything on purpose. It really didn't work, but there were only like two mechanisms around, and they were both uglier than Breakdown, so their opinions totally didn't matter.

Knock Out feigned a static cough. "So, what now?"

Breakdown didn't respond. Instead, he transformed and raised one massive hand. Knock Out followed the direction of his finger. He stepped into root mode and gaped.

Iacon, in general, was the historic district of the fabulously wealthy and powerful. True, it has its own set of slums in Rodion, but that ugly blight aside, it was a golden world of sprawling estates and crystal gardens. The Towers district was that opulence condensed into a few square miles, and gilded to excess.

"Primus," Knock Out whispered, squinting.

"Yeah."

"Where did they even get that much gold leaf?"

"No clue."

"Who do you think polishes it?"

"Low paid servant classes?"

"Think they're hiring?"

Knock Out tore his gaze away from the building and stared at Breakdown.

"What?" he shrugged, "It beats beating someone's brain module out."

"Well, I can't argue with that. Well," Knock Out cocked his hip and crossed his arms, tapping his chin with his finger, "we're here. How do we get in?"

"Walk up and knock?" Breakdown shrugged, then grinned broadly, "Out?"

He looked entirely too pleased with himself for that pun.

Knock Out scowled. "Oh, I don't know. They might have a breakdown just from looking at you."

He transformed and sped off towards the mansion before Breakdown could do something reasonable, like murder him to put him out of his misery for that pun. Even the road here was fancy. It was smooth, clearly well-maintained, and had some fine, glittering gem embedded under the translucent asphalt. A long fountain stretched along the road, all the way to the mansion. He rolled down the driveway, smug. Yes, this was what he was due: a life spent luxuriating in splendor, with riches and fine things laid down at his feet. A petty job as a back alley brain surgeon chopping up dead bodies to make rent was not the life he had envisioned for himself, but then the vast majority of his life hadn't gone the way he'd wanted it, starting with one terrible decision to operate and culminating, really, in this terrible errand.

A bigger 'bot might have accepted that life simply wasn't fair, and moved on, but Knock Out was never very magnanimous. He also wasn't very tall.

"Hey," called Breakdown, "slow down!"

Knock Out grumbled, but let up on the accelerator. Breakdown was a blockhead, but he could be useful. For example, if Knock Out were trying to get away from the guards once this mounting disaster went belly up, he could always trip him.

He coasted to a stop. The long driveway and come to an abrupt end at the steps of the manor. Knock Out and Breakdown transformer into root mode.

"Looks like someone's taking invites," Breakdown observed, squinting at the doors.

"I have working eyes, thank you," Knock Out snipped, "Ugh. We're never going to get in. Why didn't Megatronus say something? I'm certain Soundwave could have forged something. Hn, actually, perhaps not."

"Well, let's just try—" Breakdown cut off suddenly and snatched Knock Out off the ground.

"Put me down!" Knock Out shrieked, pounding his hands against Breakdown's arms. A bright gold car sped down the driveway, pummeling the road where Knock Out had just been standing. It careened off the pavement into a decorative crystal arrangement next to the fountain running alongside the road, and smashed its hood on the metal base.

Knock Out squinted at the crackling flames. "Why is everyone in Iacon such a bad driver?"

Breakdown shrugged, and Knock Out batted him until he was returned to the ground. He rolled his eyes at the wreck and started walking towards the door. He was certainly very ugly now, what with his awful paintjob and dents, but perhaps the doormech would overlook that in favor of his charming personality.

"Hey," Breakdown touched his shoulder, "shouldn't we check on that mech?"

"Pft, why?" Knock Out shrugged, "they're very clearly dead or dying."

Breakdown looked down at him.

"What?" Knock Out shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. He threw his arms up. "Fine! We'll go look!"

They tromped through the well-kept metal shred lawn towards the wreck. Knock Out waved his hand in front of his face.

"Yes," he grumbled, "wandering through smoke looking for a body is such an excellent use of my precious time. Wonderful idea."

"Just check on them," Breakdown said, wiping the smoke from the surface of his eyes.

"Just check on them, he says, like it isn't—oof!"

Knock Out tumbled into an ungraceful sprawl and ate a mouthful of metal splinters. Breakdown snorted, then broke down into laughter.

"You, hahaha, you deserved that," Breakdown gasped through his hysterics. Knock Out sneered uglily and snapped his foot out at Breakdown's ankle. Breakdown shouted, and fell to the ground beside Knock Out.

"Did I?" Knock Out crowed, pushing himself up on his elbows. It put him face to face with the wrecked car. He gasped and stumbled backwards into Breakdown. "Ugh."

Knock Out leaned forwards and poked the car with a claw. "Well. I can firmly say that they're definitely dead."

The car morphed back into root mode. Breakdown inhaled sharply and pulled Knock Out back.

"Get off," Knock Out swatted at his hand, "it's just rigor morphis. They're dead, trust me." Knock Out jabbed the body with his foot. "See?"

The corpse grabbed Knock Out's foot and started screaming, then Knock Out started screaming, and Breakdown must have been feeling left out, because he started screaming too.

"Shut up, shut up!" Knock Out kicked his foot free. Breakdown and the corpse shut up after a few more seconds of sustained screeching. "My poor ears!" He pouted and rubbed the sides of his head.

"Up," Breakdown pushed him to his feet and reached over to pull the corpse, er, not-corpse, to their feet. "Here, lemme give you a hand."

He hauled the 'bot upright and dusted them off. "There. Good as new. You've, ah, got a pretty hard head, surviving the crash like that."

"Ah, yeah," the 'bot tittered, stumbling around for balance, "I got a new hood installed after my third crash this month. High impact! Guess it worked."

Knock Out exchanged glances with Breakdown.

"You know," he observed, tapping his mouth, "i've never met anyone that could make you seem sensible."

Breakdown pushed him into a decorative fountain. "You alright?"

"I think," the 'bot pressed a hand to her head, "I'm not dizzy, or, rather, not dizzier than usual. I'm Goldfinger."

Breakdown shook her hand. "I'm Breakdown. The waterlogged one is Knock Out."

"Oh," Goldfinger stumbled over and grabbed Knock Out's hand, "how'd you get in there?"

"Must have tripped," Knock Out glared at Breakdown and pulled himself up.

"I trip all the time," Goldfinger confessed, "it's so difficult to keep my paint nice."

Ah. A kindred spark.

"Mh," Knock Out nodded, "and I hear real gold chips something awful."

"Oh, yes! I was honestly thinking of getting a new paint job, but with a name like Goldfinger there are only so many color schemes you can pull off."

Knock Out hummed and gave her a once over. "Have you considered sliver with a top coat of translucent yellow? It's ah, discount gold, but it keeps like a dream. Here, I use it for my detailing."

He braced a hand on Goldfinger's shoulder and showed her the rims on the tires in his feet.

"Oh," she leaned down and pressed a hand over her mouth, "that's sparkling!"

"It's the only thing that actually keeps through all the scrapes and bumps," Knock Out confessed, "Even the red doesn't last as long."

"Do you heat treat it?"

"Well, I use—"

"Ahem," Breakdown coughed politely.

Knock Out scowled at him.

"Yes?" Goldfinger beamed.

"We really need to get going," he jerked his head towards the mansion.

"Oh, you weren't saying that five minutes ago," Knock Out snapped, "I suppose it's fine when we waste time with your whims, but when I want to do something, suddenly time is important?"

"Look, I'm just saying that we're on a timer. Besides, I don't think talking about paint is as important as checking if someone isn't dead."

"Oh, I can tell you don't spend much time talking about paint," Knock Out stared pointedly at Breakdown's mismatched armor. Nevermind that it was mostly his fault. Well, his and Hook's.

"Oh no," Goldfinger pouted, "have I started an argument?"

Knock Out huffed. "Nothing that wasn't started already…" he paused, and really looked at her: the expensive paint job, the carelessness, the skidmarks leading down the driveway… "Say," he began again, "have you just come from the gala?"

"The senatorial one?"

Knock Out nodded.

"Oh, yes. It's such a drag," she added conspiratorily, "my conjunx is a senator, so I get invited to all of the big parties. They're full of stuffy old 'bots and all they ever do is talk politics. Oh, no offense."

"What?" Breakdown leaned over Knock Out's shoulder. Knock Out only barely kept from punching him. Didn't the idiot ever know when to shut up?

"Oh, I just assumed you were senators, with you two being here and all."

"We were invited," Knock Out cut in before Breakdown could say anything, "by our senator friend, ah…"

"Megawave," Breakdown supplied, "from the… Pit."

"The Pit?" Goldfinger squinted at him.

"Of course," Knock Out said, feigning offense, "haven't you heard of it?"

"Er," Goldfinger chewed her lip, "I must have, ah. Hm. Oh!" she snapped her fingers, "up north, right?"

Knock Out took the lie. "Yes, of course. Imagine," he tapped Breakdown's chest, "and you thought they wouldn't know who we were here."

"Uh, yeah."

Oh, the poor deluded fool couldn't even lie properly. What was he doing in the gladiatorial pits?

"Well, yes. Breakdown, get our invitations, would you? We'll need them at the door."

"Knock Out," Breakdown looked at him like he was crazy, "we don't have inv—"

Knock Out stomped on his foot.

"Oh, right," he faked a laugh, "the invitations. Right. Oh no. I appear to have lost them. This is terrible."

He sounded slightly more dead than the corpses Knock Out was paid to, er, break down.

"What?" Knock Out gasped, flinging a hand over his mouth, "Oh, how terrible!"

Breakdown winced at the volume.

"You forgot your invites?" Goldfinger looked imploringly at them, "That's so sad."

"Yes. So sad. Why, we'll have to go all the way back to the, ah, Pit." Knock Out wiped his eye.

"No!" Goldfinger clasped his hand, "After you came all the way here? You can't!"

Knock Out stared at her, his brow raised. Certainly she was ditzy, but he could only hope she wasn't outright dumb. What was it that Hook muttered under his breath about Knock Out when he thought Knock Out wasn't listening? Ah, yes, Primus bless his spark. Well, Primus bless poor Goldfinger.

"Well, I could," Goldfinger hissed in consternation, "Oh! I know! Come with me and I can tell the valet you two simply lost your invitations."

Breakdown squinted. "They'd let you do that?"

"Of course, it's my party! I can do whatever I like," Goldfinger tittered and took their hands, "Come on!"

Knock Out grinned victoriously at Breakdown. Ah, yes. His charming personality. It worked every time.

And we meet our first oc! For the curious, she's a Marilyn Monroe expy. See you next Monday!