Hello my amazing readers! Hope you all didn't have to wait too long for this chapter. I tried to shell it out as fast as I could. I go on spring break in about a week so the chapter after this will be coming up much sooner. :) Thanks for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter! They really do help motivate us writers. Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy!

All my stories are dedicated to Cory Monteith, the best idol I could ever ask for. Love you big guy. 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything affiliated with Glee. Those are the property of FOX and the Glee creators.

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Finn sat back on his couch, sighing in frustration as he once again got his ass handed to him in another round of Call of Duty. Usually he was dominating the other online players, years of sitting in his high school bedroom not studying was pretty good training when all he did was play video games.

He could chalk it all up to the fact that Rachel called and said she had dinner plans with Sam tonight and that she had to go to "keep up appearances".

He hated himself for thinking it, but sometimes he wondered if Rachel didn't secretly enjoy having two guys pine after her. It never seemed to bother her when Finn had plans with Quinn. He hated how one-sided this affair was beginning to become. He felt like was way more into the relationship than she was.

He just felt like crap. He felt guilty for being pissed at Sam and Rachel's date because here he was, married to blonde beauty Quinn Fabray and all he could think about was a certain brunette that lived a mere twenty minutes away.

"Fuck." Finn mumbled into his hands, frustrated at life in general. Someone up there must've loved to see him suffer because that's all he seemed to be doing lately.

He'd spent so much of his life focusing on his career and now Quinn and Rachel, that he also realised he didn't have any real guy friends. Dudes he could just hang with when he was feeling shitty emotionally. Kurt and Blaine were awesome but they were no where near the kind of bros he needed right now. Santana was probably closer to his definition of bro than Kurt and Blaine were.

Plus Blaine was working tonight and Kurt had been talking about going on a date with some dude. He felt so alone and bored that it wasn't even funny.

After losing again via a headshot from behind, he logged out of Xbox live and turned off his TV in frustration. How sad was his life right now? His entire social life revolved around either what Quinn was doing or what Rachel was doing. When did he become so boring and predictable?

It was seven o'clock which meant Rachel's date with Sam had already started and there was no way he'd be able to see her tonight. With another depressed sigh, he got up and grabbed his coat, keys, and cell phone.

If he was going to spend the night alone, he might as well get drunk so he didn't feel so pathetic. At least when he was drunk he had no idea what was going on. And there was that little bar down the street called McKinley's that had some nice bartenders. He could probably squeeze a couple of free drinks if there were any females working tonight.

He pushed open the door to the bar and was met with the stingy smell of alcohol, fried food, and cigarette smoke. There were some small groups scattered around either playing darts or playing pool and one or two patrons sitting at the bar nursing their drinks.

He shuffled over to the bar and sat down at a stool near a tough looking guy with what looked like a ridicuous haircut.

"What can I get you?" The middle aged man, who was tending to the bar asked him.

"Uh just a Guinness for now." Finn settled on his elbows, watching the hockey tournament currently on the screen behind the bartender.

"The Rangers are sucking ass this year. I'm surprised they've made it this far to be honest." The man with the odd hair shook his head, downing his shot.

"They shouldn't have gotten rid of Nash. He was their best left wing." Finn agreed, glancing at the man as he snapped his fingers in request for another shot the moment the bartender handed Finn his beer.

"Yup. Seems everyone realizes that but the coaches. Fuckin idiots." The man rolled his eyes, tipping his head back and drinking yet another shot. The man must have come in often because he seemed to hold his alcohol exceptionally well.

"I'm Finn Hudson." Finn put out his hand for the man to shake.

The man wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and shook Finn's hand. "Noah Puckerman. But call me Puck or I'll break your fuckin nose." 'Puck' warned, taking a bite out of his hot wings.

Finn chuckled for a moment before realization dawned on him. "Noah Puckerman? Have you by any chance bought a house recently?" Finn asked curiously.

"Yeah. Why?" Puck replied suspiciously.

"Oh no particular reason. My wife was your realtor. Her name is Quinn Fabray." Finn smiled, picking at the label on his beer.

This made Puck laugh. "Ahh that little blonde thing with the short temper. I definitely remember her. She did not like me at all."

"She also said you flirted with her a lot, made her uncomfortable." Finn added, eyeing him.

Puck just shrugged. "I didn't know she was married at first. But when I found out, I started doing it just to annoy her. It worked pretty well, we usually ended our search with her glaring at me and stomping towards her car all huffed up. She always that emotional and snooty?"

Finn laughed a little. "Yeah she's always been this high strung. Ever since high school anyways, that's where we met. But when she wants to she can be really sweet."

"No shit? High school sweethearts, never woulda guessed it. She seems like the bossy type. And not the sexy kind of bossy but the annoying kind." Puck wolfed down a couple more hot wings as he spoke. "You want one?" He offered.

"Sure." Finn took one, knawing off some of the spicy chicken. "As for Quinn, she is pretty bossy, but we both lead pretty separate lives. Unless we're both home relaxing we don't see much of each other."

"Oh yeah you're a photographer or something right? I remember her babbling on about herself when we were in the car that first day." Puck snorted.

Finn licked his lips, not taking this guys insults to Quinn very seriously. He highly doubted this guy would be saying this stuff if he wasn't drunk. "Yeah but I'm starting to break into the camera business too. Could open up a while new aveneue for me."

"Nice. Bet you two are rolling in the dough." Puck held out his hand for a high five and Finn obliged. Maybe coming out to this bar tonight was a good idea.

"We live pretty comfortably." Finn nodded. "What do you do?"

"Nothing right now. My dad just recently decided to try and repair his bridges with me and my family. Bought me a house to try and butter me up. He ran out on us many many years ago. Tonight I found out he's dying of cancer and just wanted someone to take care of his corporation when he's gone." Puck laughed humorlessly.

Finn frowned. "I'm sorry. That's sounds like a lot of pressure is being put on you."

"That's a big part of it. But the thing that's bothering me the most is that he couldn't give two shits about repairing our relationship or apologizing for running out on us. All he cares about is making sure his damn business stays afloat. I liked it better when I thought he was some no good junkie with no real aspirations. Guess that's life just throwing a giant bag of dogshit all over everything I thought was right in the world." Puck tossed back another shot, staring at the tv.

Finn looked down, unsure of what to say. He chugged the rest of his beer.

"Hey bartender, get another couple rounds of shots for my friend Finn and I." Puck requested loudly, slamming a couple twenties on the counter as the bartender went to work.

They waited for a minute and ate Puck's chicken wings until the rounds of shots were placed in front of them.

"So what's your sob story Hudson? Why are you here in a bar, alone on a Friday night?" Puck and him both downed a shot quickly, Finn wincing slightly at the strong flavor.

What he really wanted to talk about was his affair. About how with everyday that passed, Finn felt more and more like Rachel was just using him. About how sometimes he didn't feel like their affair was worth it anymore. Maybe Rachel just wasn't worth the guilt and heartache.

But given they were in a public place, with plenty of people around that would be willing to blab to the media, he kept his mouth shut about that part of his problem.

"Quinn's out of town and I've realized that after so many years of focusing on my career I have no real friends, no life outside of my career and Quinn. I'm pretty pathetic." Finn downed another one, feeling lightheaded now.

"Join the club." Puck nodded, grabbing to shots and passing one to Finn, "To pathetic lives, pathetic life choices, and pathetic people." He lifted his glass.

"I'll drink to that." Finn agreed, clinking glasses with Puck and down his third shot in under two minutes.

"Finally, someone who can hold their liquor." Puck pat him on the back. "The last dude I drank with in here fell on his face after two shots. The dudes fro was the ugliest fuckin thing I've ever seen." Puck laughed, accepting the beer the bartender was holding out.

He didn't even know Puck had ordered them two more beers, but he accepted his anyways, deciding to just let loose and enjoy himself for once.

As the night dragged on, more and more people surrounded the bar, all of them watching the hockey game with whoops, cheers, and boos.

"The fuck kind of call was that?!" Puck threw some peanuts at the tv as the Rangers fouled.

Finn just laughed, feeling light and free. As of right now, he didn't have a care in the world. He was enjoying hanging out with some dudes for once. Guys that just kicked back, drank some alcohol and watched a game.

But of course, his good mood had to come to an end at some point, and that point happened just as the Rangers scored and everyone was yelling and high-fiving eachother.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, his double vision making it rather difficult to read the message unless he really squinted his eyes. He was most certainly drunk, but he'd also been worse. He could still read he texts and form coherent sentences at least.

Hey! Sam had to leave because his agent called him about some gum commercial tomorrow. Why don't you come over? ;) -R

Usually Finn would've hightailed it out of there, and would've been halfway to Rachel's place already, more than excited to spent any amount of time with her.

But tonight, her text message just pissed him off. She was acting as though he was always at her beck and call, like he didn't have a life outside of their affair. And of course he had permission to come over since she was all done with Sam. Typical Rachel. She probably got her fill of Sam and now wanted Finn to come over to worship her body.

Well not tonight. Maybe it was the influence of the alcohol, but Finn was ten times angrier at their situation than normal.

Sorry, I'm out drinking. Maybe some other time. -F

There. Take that Rachel Berry. He stared down at his phone until it beeped again, indicating a new message.

Seriously? Can I at least join you? :( -R

Finn felt just a little bit of guilt swirl in his stomach, but it was quickly replaced with satisfaction. Now she knew how he felt almost all the time. Everytime she had to cancel on him because of Sam, this was what it was like. He never planned things with Rachel when he knew he had other obligations with Quinn.

Its kinda a dudes night out. We're here drinking & stuff at McKinley's -F

Finn looked up as the guys cheered again, seeing that the Rangers scored again and high fiving the guy nearest him.

Alright fine. Sorry for bothering you I guess. -R

Finn could tell from her message she was confused and upset at him because of his sudden refusal. But he couldn't find it in himself to care. Now she was taking a walk in his shoes for once. It felt good to be the one who wasn't on the receiving end of it for once. He didn't respond to her, not being able to think of a decent response.

So he tipped back another shot. And another, and another, and another.

Pretty soon he was without a doubt, drop-dead drunk. He told Puck he was leaving and Puck nodded, punching in his cell phone number so they could hang again, maybe go out and get drunk if needed.

Finn high-fived lots of people on his way out, feeling free and also a little dizzy. He made his way down the sidewalk, the couple blocks to his apartment. When he got up to his bedroom, he collapsed on the bed fully clothed and fell asleep, drooling and snoring for hours.

It felt like 20 minutes later when he felt the sun shine right into his eyes. He felt groggy and annoyed. He glanced over at his clock, squinting. Seven o'clock. What time did he get home?

"Ugh." Finn groaned, managing to push himself out of bed without toppling over. Oh god, bad idea. He felt a wave of nausea overtake him and he ran to the bathroom, ripping open the toilet seat throwing up the contents in stomach.

He coughed and spit as he finished, flushing it all down, suddenly feeling very clammy and chilled. And he had the worst fucking headache. Maybe that's why it had been over three months since he got drunk. He forget how shitty hangovers were.

Finn rubbed his temples, nearly crying out in pain as he walked into the living and was blinded by the sunlight. He tore the curtains closed, sighing in relief before starting some coffee, ready to take some Advil and relax.

Just as he was sipping his coffee and taking the pills, the intercom by the front door went off.

"Mr. Hudson? I have a Ms. Rachel Berry here to see you. Should I let her up?" The doorman asked politely.

Finn groaned. Greatso on top of a hangover, he was going to get treated to a Rachel Berry lecture. He reluctantly walked over to the intercom, pressing the button, "Yeah go ahead and let her up. Thanks."

He waited a couple minutes until he heard the knock at the door, mentally preparing himself for her lecture on drinking responsibly.

He opened the door and there, in the doorway of his apartment was Rahel wearing a long black coat and black leggings. Tapping her foot nervously as she awaited his invitation inside.

"What are you doing here?" Finn asked grumpily, the upset evident in his voice. Seeing her here made his beat faster and he hated it. He was tired of feeling this way for Rachel only to shoved away like her dirty little secret. She obviously didn't want more so why should he keep trying?

His drunken night with Puck made him realize that he needed to rethink his life choices. He'd had so much fun last night. It was the first time he'd had fun that didn't involve the guilt of cheating on his wife. He was hungover and feeling very bitter.

On multiple occasions, Finn had actually been willing to separate from Quinn just be with Rachel. But she couldn't even break up with Sam to be with him. Sam was only a boyfriend, Quinn was actually his wife. The unfairness of this situation was really getting to him.

"I'm here to see you. You said you were busy last night, I missed you." She bit her lip in that way that made Finn weak at the knees. "But your doorman obviously doesn't know me so he wouldn't let me in to surprise you."

Finn scoffed. "Oh so now that you're all done with Sam I get my chance? Will I ever not come second to you? For godssakes, I'm married to Quinn and even she comes second to you." He tugged his hair, wavering on his feet slightly as he did his best to stay upright. His head was spinning wildly.

Rachel's eyes widened. "Finn please keep your voice down, your neighbors have ears you know. I can tell you're hungover. You got drunk last night and I know you wouldn't be saying this stuff if you didn't feel so horrible."

"Yeah actually I would. Because I've been feeling this way for a while now. I'm way more into this relationship than you are. I'm just some play thing to you that gets tossed aside for Sam. You only make time for me when Sam is off somewhere else. He's part of your career and your psychotic need to climb to the top and have everyone love you. I'm sick of not ranking high in your life when you rate so high in mine." Finn tried to keep his coffee cup steady but his hands were shaking so bad it was nearly impossible.

"Finn! I said be quiet." Rachel gently pushed him inside, crossing her arms across his chest after she'd shut his door. "Why are you acting like this? This is coming out of nowhere. Just two days we were cuddling on my bed and having sex. And now suddenly you have a problem with that?"

"Maybe it was the fact that we were almost caught, that despite the fact we were almost outed, I was happy. Because then maybe for once everyone in the world would know how I feel about you. We could've stopped living this lie and Sam and Quinn would finally know the truth. But all you did was cover it up again. Probably fucked Sam right after too." Finn said bitterly.

"Finn, you think I don't care about you? Because I can tell you now that that's a lie. Of course I care about you." Rachel looked up at him worriedly. "I don't want to lose what we have."

Finn scoffed again. "Well too bad. You don't get to treat me like a lap dog and then go off and fuck Sam. It doesn't work that way."

"You're being a hypocrite Finn. You're married, we knew the ramifications of our situation when we started this affair. Stop acting like you're innocent. I don't see you running to tell Quinn about us." Rachel defended haughtily.

"How stupid would I be to break it off with Quinn when you're still with Sam? Everytime I bring it up you get weird and brush it off. I'm sick of this situation. All it's doing is hurting everyone involved." Finn stumbled up to the counter, sitting on one of the stools with his back facing Rachel.

Rachel followed quickly, standing next to him. "What are you saying Finn? You don't want to do this anymore?" She looked at him frantically.

"Fuck." Finn rubbed his temples, glancing over at her. "I don't know what I want. All I know is that this relationship is doing more harm than good now."

"Finn, please don't say that. Please." Rachel held his arm desperately, on the verge of tears.

"Don't you get it Rachel? This relationship is destroying me. I can't stand our situation anymore. I lived with it for a while and now I'm just done. I can't live in this lie anymore. It's finally all catching up to me." Finn shook his head, using all his willpower not to look into those brown orbs no doubt pooling with tears.

"Why? Why is it hurting you so much? I thought you liked being with me? Is it Quinn?" Rachel swiped her hand under eye, catching the tears that were steadily beginning to make their way down her face.

"It's hurting me because I love you!" Finn finally yelled, letting loose with the one secret he'd been trying so desperately to hide from her. The one thing that had been eating at him for a little over a month now.

"W-what?" Rachel asked in disbelief.

"I'm fucking in love you Rachel Berry and every moment not spent with you is a moment wasted. Yeah, I love Quinn and I always will. But it's different now, I'm not in love with her anymore, I'm in love with you. And it fucking sucks because you're with Sam and have never seemed remotely interested in leaving him. Which makes me realize how fucking one sided my feelings are." Finn tugged at his hair in frustration, both a little relieved and scared that this was all coming out now. While he was hungover and she was crying.

Rachel just stared at him for a moment, clearly at a loss for what to say. Her silence only made him feel more put out. "I think you should go. It's for the best. Don't try and text me okay. I need some time away from you." Finn turned to go to the bathroom, feeling sick to his stomach. He couldn't tell if this nauseous feeling was the alcohol still bubbling in his stomach, or the fact that Rachel still hadn't said anything even after he poured his heart out to her.

"Finn wait!" Rachel called out, much like that first time they hooked up. His heart stopped beating for a moment as he debated on whether or not he should turn around and listen to her excuses.

Finn reluctantly turned around only to be tackled by Rachel as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him desperately, like she couldn't bare to part with him. He moaned and collapsed onto the couch with her, letting her legs fall open naturally and wrap around his hips.

"Rachel, mmm, Rach wait." Finn moaned in between kisses. She wouldn't let up though, she just kissed him harder and deeper, practically making Finn forget where he was. He slid his hands up to hold her ass, squeezing her firm cheeks with his large fingers.

She trailed kisses down his neck, making his eyes roll to the back of his head. She pulled back for a moment, her lips swollen pink and her chocolate brown eyes pooling with desire. Desire for him.

She tugged his shirt over his head, the cool air making Finn shiver a little as she ran her little fingers across his chest. "You're perfect." She whispered, mimicking his words from their first night together.

His brow furrowed in need, taking his chance to pull her top over her head too, her dark nipples already visibly hardening underneath her bra through a combination of his lustful stare and the cold air.

He held her waist tightly in his warm hands, using his hold to pull her closer so her chest was right in his face. The tops of her breasts were poking out from her bra so he kissed the soft skin gently, her hot skin practically burning his lips to the touch.

Needing to taste her, he slid his hands up and unclasped her bra, freeing her dark pebbled nipples and silky skin from their confines. "Fuck." He mumbled, desire pooling in his stomach as he leaned forward and took a nipple between his teeth, tugging on it gently. He wanted to take his time with her, keep her in his arms for as long as possible. Who knows when it would all end.

She moaned, tossing her head back and transferring her fingers to his hair, pulling on it with every tug he made on her breasts.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and started sucking on her like his life depended on it, making Rachel squeal in surprise and lust. "Ohhhh Finn." She moaned, watching him as he swapped nipple for nipple, feasting on her chest like he needed her body to survive.

When Rachel couldn't take the extreme pleasure anymore, she pulled his head off her chest, making him pout. "I need you to fuck me now Finn." She begged. "Fuck my body in the way only you can."

Finn nodded, several emotions flashing across his face; hurt, confusion, lust, love. That love one was definitely trying to break his way through. But his heart refused to admit it again for fear of rejection. She still hadn't said she loved him too. So he buried those thoughts back, refusing to acknowledge them.

She unzipped his jeans and he tore her panties down her tanned legs, definitely ready to be buried inside the one place in the world made him forget everything else bad in his life. As much as she was his greatest source of pain, she was also his greatness source of happiness. The dueling feelings making him feel like he was going insane. Everytime he was with her, it just complicated his thoughts further.

Part of him wanted so bad to refuse her, to make her sit down so they could talk about this. But the other part of him just wanted her, and he'd do anything to have her.

The moment he thrust into her, he forgot all about their problems. About Quinn, Sam, about the fact that he was currently making love to another woman on the couch he and his wife picked out together.

The only sound in the room was their panting and the sound of skin gently slapping against skin as she rode him into the blisses of pleasure. It was all over way too soon for Finn's taste and before he knew it, he'd thrust up in Rachel with a strangled moan and exploded inside her just as she came hard around him, milking his cock for everything it had.

She collapsed against his chest, sweaty and out of breath. Finn wrapped his arms around her naked back, holding her against him for as long as she'd allow.

"Rachel." Finn mumbled after a couple minutes of allowing them to catch their breath. "We need to talk about this. Please." He cupped her face and brought it up so they were at eye level. She nodded in agreement.

"Finn, I-" Rachel bit her lip, at a loss for words. "I don't know what to do. I mean, I love Sam, but... I-I'm in love with you. I just don't want to hurt him or my reputation." Rachel confessed, her cheeks tinted pink. Finn breathed a little easier when he heard her confession. She did love him.

"Rachel, I love you more than I thought was ever possible. But you have to stop living your life according to what other people think of you. How are you going to live happily that way?" Finn sighed.

"Just thinking about what people will say when we finally come out to the public... It scares me Finn. I dealt with enough ridicule in high school, I don't need the whole country talking about how much of slutty trollop I am for recking your marriage. You don't understand, you never had to deal with being a loser in high school. You told me, you were popular." Rachel frowned, accepting the t-shirt Finn was offering as she stood up, her legs shaking slightly.

"Rachel, this affair involves both of us, I'll be seen as the guy who broke up supermodels Rachel Berry and Sam Evans. Your reputation won't be the only one dragged through the mud. But I don't care. I love you enough to put you above everything else in my life. I just wish you felt the same." Finn dejectedly pulled his boxers and jeans up.

Rachel grabbed his arm. "Finn, I do love you. I love you so much. But if you knew even half of what I knew about PR, you'd know that the homwrecker always gets the worst of it. You won't be the one they call 'slut' and 'whore'." Rachel pleaded with him, trying to get him to understand.

"Fine. Then I'm going to give you an ultimatem Rachel." Finn rubbed his temples, the familiar sense of bitterness and frustration making its way into his mouth. He understood her need for people to like her, he really did. But how could that be more important to her than love? That was just the one thing he couldn't understand.

Rachel visibly gulped, nodding her head as she awaited his response.

Finn took a deep breath. "Either I divorce Quinn and you break up with Sam, or we stop this whole affair right now."

Rachel's eyes widened in fear. "Please Finn no. I can't just decide that right now. I need time. Please Finn."

Finn shook his head. "No Rachel, no. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this to Quinn anymore. And I certainly can't watch you be with Sam after hearing that you love me too."

Rachel was twisting her hands nervously. "Finn, you can't just expect me to make such a life changing decision in a matter of seconds. You have to give me time." Rachel cried as he shook his head again. "Finn please." She begged.

"No. We've been doing this same old song and dance for months now. You've had plenty of time to decide how you feel about me compared to how you feel about Sam." Finn sighed, feeling tears come to his eyes as he heard her whimper and cry into her hands.

And the worst part was he was starting to feel sick again. His head hadn't stopped spinning since he left the bar last, but the nausea was back with a vengeance.

"Finn! Please I love you." Rachel cried hysterically. Finn squeezed his eyes shut painfully.

"Rachel, stop doing this to me. You're are actually, fucking killing me." Finn pressed his fingers into the corners of his eyes.

"Then please try to understand where in coming from. I'm just, I'm so confused Finn. You drop this bombshell on me and expect me to answer right away? That's not fair."

Finn scoffed. "You want to talk about fair? What about what we're doing to Quinn and Sam? How is that fair?"

"Oh so now you suddenly care about Sam's feelings? And this is the first time you've ever brought this up. Why does it matter now? It didn't seem to matter a week ago when you screwing me to kingdom come!" Rachel crossed her arms, getting angry and defensive. Something she always did when she knew he was partially right.

Finn laughed humorlessly. "I'm sorry if my attack of conscious is making you feel badly because you don't give a shit."

"You think I don't care?" Rachel asked, her voice dangerously low.

"I know you hate Quinn and you don't even love Sam. You're just stringing him along. You also don't seem to care about how much this is hurting me. All you care about is yourself and goddamn career. I'm sick and tired of it Rachel." Finn glared at her.

"You have absolutely no idea how I feel Finn Hudson." Rachel poked his chest, the tears in her eyes betrayed her anger filled voice. "Maybe I'm just scared of doing the wrong thing. Maybe I'm scared of getting my heartbroken by you."

"Why would you be afraid of being with me? You're the one who's dating a guy purely for publicity." Finn growled, her words hurting him as much as they angered him.

"Don't you see what happened? You loved Quinn at some point, you were married to her for godssakes. What kind of chance do I stand? What happens when you get bored with me like you did with Quinn?" Rachel threw her hands up, finally releasing one of her worried thoughts.

Finn took a step back, hurting eclipsing his face. "T-Thats what you think of me? That I'm some sort of fucking grade-a douchebag who throws away women like objects?"

Rachel's face relented a little. "I didn't mean in like that-" Finn scoffed again. "Besides, did you not just basically call me a heartless bitch?"

Finn shook his head, "I have no idea what the fuck your problem is. You're twisting my words and trying to make me seem like the asshole. You're the one who doesn't want to give this thing a shot. You're the one who is too afraid of what people think of her."

"Well that's just who I am Finn! I can't be like you and just ignore everyone." Rachel spat, getting up closer to his face.

"You think it's easy to ignore hateful things spewed at me? It's not Rachel. Not by a long shot." Finn looked down at her sadly.

Her shoulders dropped. "Finn, I know you don't get it. But you don't have the same past I do. You haven't had to deal with people hating you just because you were ambitious and a little intense. I'm finally at a point in my life where that self hatred feels like a distant memory. Maybe I have some weird complex where I need everyone to like me, but that's just who I am Finn. I'm always going to want people to like me." Rachel sniffled, running her hand under her pink nose.

Finn sighed, hating that little tug at his heart when he saw her crying up close. Her beautiful brown eyes shining with tears and her plump lower lip wobbling. Perhaps against his better judgement, he pulled her into his arms, letting her cry into his chest. He rubbed her back soothingly as she hiccuped adorably. Damn her. She knew just how to be the perfect amount of cute and sweet.

Finn sighed, licking his lips to calm his racing heart. They got a little heated and he needed to calm it down. "So what do we do Rachel? I think this fight has made it pretty clear we need to do something. We need to take action." Finn sighed.

"I can't let the situation turn out ugly. Please Finn, I just need some time. I have to figure things out with Sam and you have to figure things out with Quinn. But.." Rachel bit her lip sadly, looking up at him.

"But what?" Finn licked his lips.

"But I know that I want to end up with you. Whether in the immediate future or in a year from now. No matter how long it takes us to deal with Sam and Quinn." Rachel reached up and caressed his cheek.

Finn sighed, she was right. As usual. "So should we just go our separate ways for a while?" Finn pulled her closer, suddenly feeling sad.

"No, I mean, we still have the same circle of friends. We just have to stop... This." Rachel sighed deeper, pointing in between them. "It started out as fun but now I think our relationship deserves more mature thinking. We're in too deep Finn. We have to be careful."

"You're right. Of course you're right. This situation has been destroying me. I'm so glad we're gonna deal with it. I just, I'm really going to miss you. This is what I was afraid of in the beginning. I was afraid I was going to fall for you. And that's exactly what we did." Finn frowned, curling her hair behind her ear. Rachel leaned into his touch.

"I know exactly how you feel. But I don't regret any of it. I love how you make me feel, Finn. Hearing you tell me you love me isn't exactly making it any easier though." She managed a small giggle, her nose stuffed up and her eyes rimmed red.

Everything felt really bittersweet. They were promising to be together, but he still wasn't going to get to hold her for God knows how long. And he had to think about her and Sam constantly being together. That alone was enough to make him feel jealous.

But this was for the best. If he really wanted to be with her for real, they had to be adults and handle their current relationships with care.

"I think we'll make it, I have all the faith in the world in us." Finn nuzzled his nose against hers, breathing heavily against her lips. He was so exhausted. They started out the night upset at each other which turned into passionate sex on his couch, then they fought again, and now they were embracing. He felt like he'd been on an emotional roller-coaster tonight. Only with Rachel Berry.

"I love you so much Finn. I'm glad we had at least one more night together. I hope you know how much I'll miss you." She pouted, sighing as he played with the hem of his t-shirt.

"I love you too Rachel." He cupped her cheek, kissing her forehead lovingly. "And I know baby. I'll miss you too. But we can get through this. All we have to remember is how amazing it'll be when we can finally be together without judgement from other people. We can finally stop hurting."

Rachel nodded, smiling sweetly up him. God, even when her makeup was all smudged and her eyes and nose were red, she was the most beautiful woman in the whole world.

"Geez, I'm going to miss these cute little dimples." She traced them with the tips of her fingers. Finn kissed her palm, rubbing her back. She sighed a little. "I should go. I don't know how much longer I can be around you and not kiss you all over." She smiled sadly.

"Yeah you should go before I physically attack you with kisses." Finn winked.

She tugged his shirt over her head, causing him to sigh in frustration and appreciation all at once. She pulled own clothes on and slipped her shoes on.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later? Bestie?" She giggled. Finn grinned widely, relieved that she wasn't crying anymore and happy that they could be mature about this. It didn't feel as sad as he expected.

"Yeah, see ya bestie." He laughed, pulling her into him for a hug. She tucked herself into him, laying her head on his chest as he rested his own head on top of hers. They reluctantly pulled away from one another as she headed to the door. "Bye Rach."

"Bye Finn." She waved dorkily, causing him to erupt into a smile that almost hurt his face. He waved until she disappeared down the staircase before shutting the door.

He felt better than he had in a long time. He and Rachel had ended their affair on good terms with promises of a future together. He could deal with Quinn maturely, the only way his situation with Quinn deserved to be handled.

And he could still see with Rachel. Not in the way he preferred, but as a friend. At least until they dealt with Quinn and Sam. But he could still hang with her nonetheless.

Finn sat on the couch with his cup of coffee, a content smile on his face as he flipped through the channels. Maybe things could finally get better. Maybe he could work through all the problems that had been plaguing him for months and finally be happy.