Author's Note: Sorry this took so long!! I swear it's not my fault!!! With AP testing and the SAT coming up I really have been spending a ton of time studying. Anyway, I did this chapter about a week ago….just forgot to post it. ^//^ My bad. This chapter isn't as funny as the ones I have in mind to be the next two.

Reviews: Thanx 4 the reviews!! I make an effort to try and update depending on reviews. Thank you gnomegirl13 for another review (Your so awesome!) I love your idea but I'd have to wait to make it more of a surprise. Keep a look out for it because I will put it in!

Thank you and enjoy!!!

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the awkward moments and crazy events however; I share full custody with my readers because on occasion I do steal your ideas.

Chapter 4: Let's NOT go to church!

It was a plain Sunday morning in Mineral Town; there was no wind blowing and the sun was just hot enough to warm the body to the perfect temperate. Yes, truly a grand day if Jack hadn't woken up with a throbbing headache.

The kitchen scene was as expected; Clair smiling happily in front of a rather large bowl of cornflakes, kicking her feet and humming a catchy tune she had heard the other day as Jack sat hunched over in his chair, holding his head and hoping that he wasn't catching a cold.

"Clair, Can you stop humming? I have a Headache and you're not helping!" He moaned helplessly looking down at the plate of freshly made pancakes that he didn't even want anymore. Clair stopped humming to take another bite of her cornflakes and then pointed her spoon accusingly at her unsuspecting brother.

"The reason your head hurts is because it's Sunday." She stated simply before taking another bite of her meal

"…And?" He asked quickly.

"…And it's been like forever and you haven't gone to Church!"

Jack's eyes widened "You know you're right. It has been a while…but do you really think that's why?"

Clair nodded her head "Yep, it's a sign. The Harvest Goddess hates you!"

At this Jack sat up in his chair. "What about you? You haven't been to church for as long as I have!" He thought this while he remembered back to the time they had went to church…it was about a year ago.

"Don't bring your jinx on me!" Clair said getting up and putting her dishes away

Jack sighed and looked out the window at the sun bathed fields that he had yet to water, it just felt like one of those days that would end up toping the growing list of worst days he's spent in mineral town.

…But who knew? It could just be he's imagination.

There was a brief rap on the door that brought Jack back to reality. He slunk to the door and opened it to find Grey standing in front of the door.

"Hey." Jack sighed as he let Gray in and shut the door.

Clair quickly rushed over to Gray and pulled him into a bone crushing embrace. "Great! Gray, you're just in time!"

"For what?" He asked struggling to get free from her grip

"Jack and I were just about to go to church!! You can come with us!" She then ran to her bed, grabbed her rucksack and pushed the two out the door.

It didn't take the group long before they reached the church. As they came to the front of the door Clair turned to the others. "I'll be there in a sec. I just want to say hi to the little people in the forest, kay?"

Jack and Gray each nodded and headed in the door as Clair skipped off to the side of the church. The church as expected was lined with pews and at the end of the rows stood a stand. It was at this particular stand that a certain pastor was flipping through pages of a book; smirking slyly and….sweating?

"Is there anything I need to know about this guy?" Jack asked, turning to Gray. He had a bad feeling about this place. It was Sunday morning and they were the only ones in the church….he didn't know if it was just him or was this scene a little….well….off.

In his defense Gray shrugged. "I don't know about this guy. Nobody has time to go to church; we just place our offerings in the spring and call it a day."

"So you're saying you can't help me?"

"What part of NOBODY comes here do you not get?"

It was then that the boys had to stop their conversation because said pastor slide over to them; grinning widely. "Welcome, you two must be new."

Jack nodded and Gary did the same. At this he noticed a light twinkle in the man's eye but he immediately dismissed it.

"Well, come take a seat." He ushered them to the front pew where they each sat and exchanged worried looks. "You'll have to excuse me for a minute. I have to prepare the confessional, but It'll only take a moment." He said in a hush tone as he rubbed Jack's shoulder for a minute making Jack's eyes widened at the action. The boys went into a rapid fit of whispering as the man walked inside of the confessional.

"Oh my goddess, he just felt you up!" Gray whispered frantically

"I know. What the heck?! This is church!!"

The two sat there for a minute thinking about the situation at hand until and muffled voice came from inside the confessional. "I'll there in just a second. It takes so long to prepare. You just don't know how tight your chambers can be. But don't worry, we can fix that. I'm going to open your chambers…wide….."

On that note both Jack and Gray were out of there before they could hear another word because neither of them had any intentions of having their chambers opened.

After they were safely outside of the tall wooden doors that belonged to the seemingly deserted church they breathed a sigh of relief and then exchanged an awkward look. It was a sign that the two boys were completely determined to never utter a single word about what they had just endured (No matter how mild It had been). And they were completely bent on the idea until Clair came from around the side of the church and said in a sing song voice; "Where you guys waiting for me?"

Jack's raised his eyes too look at Clair and he then realized that she was carrying an array of items. "Where'd you get all that stuff from?"

She glanced at the tall bag of flour, the yellow can of curry powder, and the clear bottle of cooking oil she had bunched in her arms and shrugged. "The little people gave them to me…"

"You know their called Harvest Sprites, right?" Gray sighed; and upon seeing that she was struggling to hold everything, leaned over and took the curry powder and flour off her hands.

Clair brushed off Gray's comment and began heading for the church doors. Jack; in a sense of panic grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"Clair….Let's…not go to church…" He suggested with an unmistakable enthusiasm.

"Why." She asked puzzled as she shifted the bottle of cooking oil from one arm to the other.

"Because…." Jack began; he was racking his brain for a reasonable excuse. It would make him very uncomfortable to tell his sister he was just harassed by a preacher.

Gray saved the moment "Because, no one goes to church in this town." Jack nodded in agreement; it was very clear now to him why this was true. "We just go and place an offering to the Goddess in the Goddess pond."

Clair looked at the two for a brief minute and smiled. "Okay, what does she like?"

"Uhhhhh….flowers….and…" Gray started but before he could finish she had started to run towards the direction of the pond. The two followed quietly and when the group reached the spring Jack found it to be one of the most beautiful places in Mineral Town.

Flowers grew here and there, the water was a crispy blue, and the air seemed much more pure; obviously proof enough that this place was the pond where the Goddess resided. Before he could register what was going on Clair had shoved the cooking oil into his arms, plucked a flower from the ground, and was about to drop it into the water.

"Clair don't you think Jack should be the one to put it into the spring?" Gray suggested which caused Clair to look at him with a look of disbelief. "..I mean, since he's the whole reason we came…"

"But….but Gray, I'll never get to do this ever again!" After she uttered this Gray simply shook his head at her and she caved.

"Fine! GO have all the fun! Meany!" She pouted as she handed the flower over to him.

Jack took quick unmeasured steps as he moved closer to the pond; all while fumbling with the delicate flower and the heavy oil bottle.

It was probably because he didn't put down the oil bottle. It could also have been because he wasn't taking the care to watch his footing, or it could simply have been some divine beings that lived miles away on a far off, almost deserted island who just wanted to screw him over. But then that would bring back up the topic of conspiracies again and that was last chapter. All and all no one at the moment could pinpoint exactly why it happened.

But it did. And I'm just going to say it plainly…

Just as Jack was close to the edge of the spring, he tripped on a very small pebble and he fell right on the bottle of oil; sending glob's of it into the pure water of the spring.

"Oh Goddess…" Gray whispered

"Oh….that sucks." Clair stated simple

Jack lied motionless on the ground; he was too afraid and too shocked to even sit up. He watched in horror as the once pure waters turned a rancid yellow and the center of the spring began to bubble.

He breathed a quick prayer that the Harvest Goddess wouldn't be there, but what Jack was finally beginning to notice was that life never cut him any slack. He understood this when a very displeased Harvest Goddess emerged from the waters covered in the greasy stuff.

She didn't even have to say anything! She glared daggers at the 3, and sent shivers down each of their spines; it was also at that moment that all 3 of our poor unfortunate town's folk began to wonder frightfully whether their Goddess was a vengeful one.

"HE DID IT!" Both Clair and Gray frantically shouted while pointing at Jack.

Jack rolled his eyes and did a mental face palm. He had seen that coming; they were amazing friends but in a situation like this…let's just say if the roles had been switched he would have left them for dead.

The Goddess stayed stiff as a statue as she centered he attention on Jack. "Jack, is this some kind of sick joke?!"

Before he could muster up the courage to respond she went on. "Well, of course it was! Yes, a funny…FUNNY joke!" She growled and then went into a fit of hysterical laughter.

Jack slowly lifted himself into a sitting position as the Goddess touched her hair and then shrieked! "DID THE WITCH PUT YOU UP TO THIS?!"

Clair nudged Gray "There's a witch?"

Gray shrugged and shushed her as the Goddess floated over to Jack.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT POSSESED YOU TO DO THIS TO ME, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! SO HELP ME, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU SUFFER FOR ALL OF YOUR DAYS!!!!" She screamed at him and then promptly floated back to the pond where she disappeared beneath the waters.

Jack wasn't even breathing anymore; his chest felt tight and his eyes were bulged. And even though the worst seemed to be over there still was the fact that the Harvest Goddess actually hated him now.

"Well, maybe she was kidding?" Clair smiled in an attempt to cheer Jack up on the way home. He hadn't spoken a word since the incident and it was really starting to worry her.

"Let's hope so." Gray sighed; he was still carrying Clair's curry powder and flour, but he didn't mind. In fact, as much as he hated to admit it he actually liked carrying things for her…but of course he would never tell Jack or anyone else, in a sad kind of way he was hoping the feeling he got when he was around Clair would pass.

When they walking onto the farm they were agape, their across the field where the chicken coop was supposed to be lied a pile of rubble.

Clair quickly ran to the pile and began tossing through the things. "Serena?...Serena?" she called hopelessly because obviously there was no Serena in sight. When Jack and Gray reached the pile of broken wood and hey, Clair hugged Jack tightly.

"Jack, Serena's gone!" She breathed heavily into his shoulder "That means no eggs, no money, and worst of all do you know what Rick will do to us?"

They all shuddered at that idea.

This mournful scene was interrupted by the light sound of clucking. Looking down everyone noticed the very healthy and safe Serena picking at some weeds in the middle of the field.

"Ooooooh yeeeeaah……I forgot I took her out the coop." Clair laughed; completely cured from the scene.

Jack bent down and picked up a small piece of paper with the words 'REVENGE WILL BE SWEET' written on it. He studied it for a minute before displaying it to the rest of his group.

"Oh crap!!! Do you think it's the Goddess?" Clair said snatching the note away from him.

"Who else would it be?! Jack sighed somberly "I'm not even sure I have enough money to get it fixed"

"Might as well get it priced." Gray said eyeing the entrance to the forest

Clair took the items Gray was holding for her and turned towards the house. "You guys go, I'll go put these things away."

Jack and Gray walking into the forest and found an undersized log cabin smack dab in the middle of the woods. When they walked in the smell of sawdust and gun smoke was the first thing that hit them.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Jack whispered as he eyed a large white poster board that was stapled to the back wall that read

'Gotz Carpentry: You want it? We Gotz it! …and if we don't…that's your problem!'

Jack felt uneasy; this place screamed bad influence and the random bullet holes all around the shop proved it. Gray rang the bell that sat on the counter before turning to Jack.

"This is the only carpentry in town…" He mumbled as a huge scruffy looking man came up to the counter.

"What do ya want?" He boomed looking from Gray's wide eyes to Jack's apparent expression of fear.

"…Ummm….We're looking for Gotz…the carpenter…" Jack stammered quickly

"That'll be me! Ya know my supplier's out of commission. So I'z ant'z gotz alot of the stuff right now!"

"What stuff?!" Gray asked lowly "…Wood?"

The Gotz smiled "If yah wanna call it that."

Jack and Gray exchanged questioned looks. "What are you talking about!?"

"Yah know! I got the stuff! Yah know that LSD and speed. You name it, I gotz it!" He smiled while crossing his arms over his chest.

The two before him nearly fainted.

"YOU'RE A DRUG DEALER!?!?" Jack exclaimed until Gotz pulled a hand gun out from under the counter and pointed towards him.

"What of it? You not a cop, are yah?"

Jack shook his head very quickly until he placed the gun back where it was previously.

"You probably came here fo sum wood like thing huh?" He asked while looking at the two before him. "Tell yah what, You help me get rid of that nosy cop tonight and I'll make yo stuff on the house."

He didn't wait for an answer; he walked quickly into the back room, leaving the two to shoot worried looks.

"How many drug dealers does this town have?" Jack asked after a few seconds of silence

Gray turned to him with a confused look "What?"

"You know, Zack was one too…."

"NO way! Speaking of him…where has he been lately? Haven't seen him around."

"Oh, he's….kind of in jail." Jack had to confess; he didn't think he would be retelling the story of what happen his first night in the town.

"And you saw all this?" Gray asked looking amazed

"Yeah, Harris basically forced me to help him with the bust!" Jack exclaimed.

The conversation was interrupted by the booming voice of Gotz. "…BITCH, YOU SOLD OUT MY HOMMIE? FUCK YOU, I'LL KILL YO AZZ!!!"

It was then that the two boys ran screaming like girls from the woods while being shot at by a drug dealer with two rifles.

Jack and Gray breathed a sigh of relief when they reached the porch of Jack's house.

"Oh my Goddess! I'm done!" Jack cried as he slunk down to a sitting position.

"What do you mean?" Gray asked as he sat down next to him.

"I hate my life!" He sighed putting his head into his hands

"…You're not going to get all emo on me now are you?" Gray crossed his arms and glared at Jack. "I get enough of that from my roommate, Cliff."

This made Jack laugh; he had heard many stories from Clair about the paranoid guy who cuts himself in Gray's room. "No, I mean that this sort of thing didn't happen in the city." He nodded as he tried to remember his boring life. "Yeah….and the only crazy person I had to deal with was Clair."

"Clair's not crazy compared to the town's people here." Gray smiled and Jack nodded

"EVEYONE here's crazy!" Jack cried as he put his head down in defeat

"Look on the bright side!" Gray said in a 'cheer up' voice.

"What?!"

"You haven't even met everyone yet!"

Jack groaned in response "I'm just glad your normal! I don't think I would be able to take it if you weren't."

"Thanks." Gray smiled as he got up.

Jack came into the house about an hour later. Gray had successfully cheered him up by the time he had to leave, so he came in smiling….until he saw what was in his bed.

Serena was walking around and scratching ideally at his pillow.

"CLAIR!!!! WHY IS THE CHICKEN IN MY BED!?!?"

Clair peeked her head into the room from the kitchen. "Because she's cold and doesn't have a place to sleep."

"Why is she in my bed then?!"

"Well, it was kinda your fault that her coop got destroyed….soooooooo….you sleep on the floor."

Jack stared at her in disbelief for a few seconds before he finally realized that she was serious." Why do I get the feeling that you're always trying to get me to sleep on the floor." He mumbled before getting some quilts from the cabinet and settling a spot in front of his bed. He laid his head on the array of covers and eventually ended up falling asleep.

That night, Jack had the feeling he was being watched. At first he thought it was just the chicken mocking him but, when he started to hear laughing he opened his eyes to see a shadowy figure towering over him. It stood still for a moment and then leaned down and wrapped it's hands around his throat.

Jack screamed at the top of his lungs and was silenced by Clair sitting up and throwing a pillow at him and then going back to sleep; completely missing the fact that there was an intruder in the house.

The figure quickly scrambled to Clair's bed, took her alarm clock and smashed it against it and then rolled onto the grass below before running towards the woods.

It was then that everything went blank, and Jack passed out.

When he awoke the next morning, he wasn't exactly sure any of it was real.

…..well, until he saw the busted alarm clock, and broken window. Fear ran through him as he began to relive the night.

Clair sat up in her bed; stretching. "What were you screaming about last night? Bad dream?"

"No! There was someone in the house trying to kill me!!" He got up and gave a paranoid glance around the room.

"Who?! The boogieman?"

"No Clair! Look at the window!"

She turned towards the window that was right next to her bed and gasp. "OH NO! REAL LIVE BOOGIEMAN!!"

She then got up and sat on Jack's bed. "He was right next to me Jack! Right next to me! I could have died!! Why didn't you wake me up?"

Jack face palmed and began to get dressed; he had to talk to the Harvest Goddess.

Jack made it to the pond and quickly placed a flower in the waters.

"Dum de dum dum!!!" The Harvest Goddess sang as she emerged but then frowned when she noticed Jack. "What?"

"What I did was an accident. Please, take this curse off of me! I can't live with it! This town's a handful without it."

The Goddess tilted her head to the side. "What curse?"

"You said you'd curse me for all of time!" He said slowly

"OH!!! That!" She laughed lightly "I was just mad at the time. Sorry if I scared you!"

Jack's head began to swim; the concept of 'no curse' didn't explain why all these things were happening to him. "But…my chicken coop….and the killer…."

"Nope, wasn't me!" She smiled as she slipped peacefully back into the pond and left Jack alone.

He walked back to the farm slowly; not in the happiest mood because he couldn't find the reason all these bad things kept happening to him. He wasn't looking where he was going so he bumped into someone and the only way he noticed was because the person shined a bright flashlight in his eyes.

"Victor! What are you doing here?!" Harris called as he moved the flashlight

"…it's Jack."

"Yeah, him too. Oh, did you hear? Zack broke out of jail yesterday!"

Jack's eyes widened

"But don't worry, Chester. I'll catch him!" Harris posed heroically causing Jack to sigh.

"I just hope he doesn't try to kill me in my sleep…" Jack started before everything started to make sense. The coop…the killer all had been Zack.

Oh crap as Clair would have said

He walked away from Harris slowly. Not only did he have Zack to worry about, but he also had to try to get a chicken coop out of Gotz soon or he would be sleeping on the floor forever!

All in all, Jack was relieved that the Harvest Goddess…superficial as she was, did not hold grudges. But he had also managed to make a new enemy out of the town carpenter.

A thought came into his head as he came to the entrance to the farm where Clair and Gray were waiting for him.

…Maybe he should have just gone to church!

Author's note: Did somebody volunteer the idea of something happening to the chicken coop? (I think so anyway…) well here it is! Now the Rick attack...soon to come. ^.^ Please review and tell me what you think.