Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

"O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day!
Most lamentable day. Most woeful day
That ever, ever I did yet behold!
O day, O day, O day! O hateful day!
Never was seen so black a day as this.
O woeful day! O woeful day!"

- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 4.5

****

Bella woke up groggy and disorientated in the morning. I didn't feel much better.

The part of the night when Bella wasn't talking I had thought about what I would say to my family, and more of right and wrong. Quickly I mumbled a good morning to Bella, kissed her forehead and ran out swiftly. I knew the intervention with my family and I was going to take long, and I needed time.

When I came across the white house nestled in the woods most thoughts were casual. I stepped in to find everyone in the family room, including Jasper.

"I would like to talk to everyone, if you don't mind," I announced.

"Of course Edward," Carlisle replied from his thoughts I could tell he had been waiting for this. We took our seats in the dinning room and I sat in the head.

"Edward, what is it?" asked Carlisle. Taking a deep unnecessary breath I spoke.

"We're leaving" speaking the words sent a wave of pain and reality. I hadn't spoken the words out loud yet and they felt wrong coming from my mouth.

Um, what? Emmett stared at me blankly.

Where? Jasper asked as confused as Emmett

I can't believe your doing this to me, Edward, Alice pouted.

"From Forks," I continued. "I am at least and I ask that for Bella's sake you all do too—"

"Wait." Emmett stopped me, "why isn't Bella coming?" he frowned at the thought.

"You saw what happened last night, I can't risk it again" my voice was growing angrier. Emmett never saw my reason of thinking. In the beginning he saw it simply I killed Bella or I didn't. Then I fell in love with her and to him it was simple again, I should change her. Now he was baffled that I would leave her.

Edward is this a good idea, for both of you? The voice of reason was Carlisle's

"I am absolutely sure this is a good idea for her," I told him.

I never said just her—even if I don't think she would benefit—I said both of you.

"This will be safe for her," I stated again.

"So you think you can just make us leave then?" Rosalie spat.

"Rose…" Esme warned.

"No! Just because Edward said we're leaving we should? God forbid we go against the great Edward!"

"Rosalie!" Carlisle was stern "don't you think it would be a good idea to let Edward explain?"

"Fine" she sulked. Edward Cullen you can't make me leave because of a petty human! I like it here.

"Like I was saying I think it will be best for Bella's safety if we leave. I don't want a repeat of what happened last night."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Esme asked.

"I'm positive."

"What about our secret?" snarled Rose. " I don't want the Volturi coming after us. Just because Edward didn't want his precious human to get hurt," her words leaked with venom.

"Bella would never—" I argued.

"You don't know! Do you?" she yelled.

"Alice will see anything major." At that moment everyone looked at Alice.

"He's right" she shook her head " I would."

"Thank you Alice," I murmured.

"That still doesn't mean I think this is a good idea," her face twisted in an angry glower. Look Edward Alice showed me a variety of images of Bella upset.

"She may be upset for a day," I replied. Alice snorted.

You wont be much better.

"I'll be fine." Alice hit me with another onslaught of images of myself.

"It won't matter, if Bella's safe I'll be fine." She huffed and crossed her arms.

Edward are you sure? You just found happiness I cant watch you take it away from yourself Esme thought.

"I'm sure Esme, I cant imagine if anything would happen to Bella—" I shuddered at the though—"especially if it was my fault."

There really is no talking you out of this?

"No" I replied blankly. There was a moment of silence as everyone gathered his or her minds.

"I think it is best to respect Edward's decision" Carlisle began. "Bella is his mate—" my eyebrows furrowed, I didn't like the primal sound to that word used to describe Bella—"and if he thinks it is best we should follow it."

"What?" Rosalie shrieked.

"Rosalie, Edward has always moved without complaint, even when you found Emmett."

"That's different!" she shouted, I snorted. "Emmett wasn't some tiny human I found healthy and living. He wasn't someone I could just leave" she was glaring at me now.

"Rose…" Emmett soothed.

"No, Emmett I'm tired of Edward risking our secret from a insignificant human" she sneered and then stalked off.

Thanks a lot, Edward, Emmett thought before turning to follow Rosalie. I knew her words shouldn't anger me, but they still did. I looked at my remaining family.

"I think it would be best for Bella to have a clean break," I looked at Alice.

"I know" she responded sadly.

"You're not going to school today?" Carlisle asked her.

"No."

And you Edward?

"I can't leave just yet," I admitted.

I understand, "we have a couple days to get packed. I have to make some calls to the hospital, Esme will you call the Denali clan? They have been wanting us to visit for awhile." Esme nodded in return and gave me a sympathetic look

I hope you know what you're doing, she told me not liking the thought of leaving Bella and walked away.

"I'm going to get changed" I mumbled dejectedly and went to my room changed. There was a knock at the door before Alice let herself in.

"You wanted to talk to me?" of course Alice would know.

"Yes, I think it would be best if you stopped looking for Bella. If anything drastic happens, you'll see but I don't want us meddling with her life."

"But Edward…" Alice whined.

"Please Alice?"

Fine, she had already seen my concrete decision and stalked off.

I looked at the clock and hoped that if I drove fast enough I would beat Bella to school.

Pulling into the lot I did, but not by much minutes after my arrival Bella came too. She parked next to me and I opened the door.

"How do you feel?"

"Perfect," she lied but I didn't have the energy to press. We didn't talk much in the morning. Every now and then Bella would glance at me with a puzzled look on her face. One that knew something was different, but just couldn't tell what it was. Was I being that obvious? Every time I would try to give her my best reassuring smile. It felt wrong to smile knowing I would have to leave her soon. Like a monster lurking in the darkness, you know its there, just not when its going to strike.

Lunch occurred quickly and I knew Bella would notice Alice's absence soon.

"Where's Alice?" she asked. I picked up a piece of revolting human food and concentrated on crushing it between my fingers so she couldn't see through my lie.

"She's with Jasper."

"Is he okay?"

"He's gone away for awhile."

"What? Where?" she said frantically.

"Nowhere in particular," I said vaguely.

"And Alice too" she whispered sadly.

"Yes. She'll be gone for a while. She was trying to convince him to go to Denali." It was really the other way around. Jasper was still regretful about his mistake and was thinking about going there anyways for some time.

Bella's face contorted into an uncomfortable look.

"Is your arm bothering you?" I eyed the wound that I had put here. Monster.

"Who cares about my stupid arm?" she muttered under her breath. I felt to guilty to argue.

When the day ended I walked Bella to her car without speaking. The silence made distancing myself more difficult. I had to remind myself it was for the best.

"Are you coming over later tonight?" she wondered.

"Later?" I questioned. Truthfully, I was being a complete hypocrite by trying to pt space between us while working to spend have every moment together.

"I have to work. I had to trade with Mrs. Newton to get yesterday off."

"Oh," I murmured lamely.

"So you'll come over when I'm home, though, right?" she checked.

"If you want me to."

"I always want you," she vowed sending another stab through my absent heart. She doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm her first boyfriend; she'll get over me soon. I reasoned with myself.

"All right then," I sighed. I kissed her on the forehead each time I did I promised myself it was the last, but I didn't have that strength. After shutting her door I made my way to my Volvo and drove to the house.

I walked in to find boxes everywhere.

Edward, could you come help me with this? Esme asked from the kitchen. I silently made my way to where she was. Could you grab everything off the top shelf? I nodded in return. Thank you. We began working in silence placing all the times in they're designated boxes. I knew Esme wanted to speak to me so I gave her time to gather her thoughts.

I'm not sure about this Edward she began.

"Should I put this with the breakables then?" I held up the glass plate. I knew that wasn't what she meant but I wanted to avoid the topic of leaving Bella. It brought me more hurt than they know.

You know what I mean, she accused.

"Yes, I'm sure," I said coldly.

I don't like the thought of leaving one of my children she frowned. Or the thought of what would happen to you! Esme started to get worried at the thought.

"Esme, I'll be fine. I'll have to be," I said the last part under my breath but she caught it.

You don't have to do this, Edward. You just found happiness it would kill me to see you run away from it.

"And it would kill me to see Bella hurt because she was spending time with me!" Once again I was becoming flustered and angry with myself over her birthday incident and let it leak through my words.

What about Bella?

"She'll be safer this way, happier"

Happier? Edward I don't know if you've noticed but she loves you too, argued Esme.

"Bella's a eighteen, Esme. I've seen it through the minds of high school kids for decades. They get over this quickly." It hurt to think that Bella would get over me quickly. I had to remind myself that it was for the best and one day she would find someone she deserves.

But you haven't seen it through her mind, have you? Esme put down the tape she was using to close a box and looked at me skeptically.

"No, I haven't," I admitted. "But I know that she deserves someone human. Someone who doesn't fight the urge to kill her, someone who can spend everyday with her and do every human thing she wants," I stressed the word human.

Edward I know you think that we are some kind of horrible monsters and that you don't deserve anything. But you're my son and I know you need her just as much as you do. I just hope that this will work out for both of you, and with that she walked away.

"This will work out for Bella," I said to myself before going upstairs to pack my things.

I thought the task would take my mind off things but it didn't. Everything reminds me of her. It only makes it worse that I had to get rid of some things because they had Bella's scent on it. I finished faster than I thought so I put some music on to clear my thoughts.

That didn't help either.

Finally I gave in and decided to go back over to Bella's. Her shift wasn't supposed to end for another half an hour but I could still hope. I made my way downstairs and mumbled

"Going to Bella's" to Alice and Jasper who were on the couch.

She's not home yet, Alice thought. I shrugged in response and walked to my car. I was at the Swan's house in five minutes. As Alice has said, she wasn't there, but Charlie was. I debated whether or not to wait in the car or go to the door and pretend I had forgotten that Bella was at work. I decided on going to the door, not wanting my last impression on Charlie to be that I sit outside his house when his daughter isn't home.

At a human pace I walked up to the door and knocked. I heard Charlie huff and his footsteps approaching the door.

"Oh, hey Edward, Bella isn't here" he greeted.

"Oh, she isn't where is she?" I said pretending to be clueless.

Man he looks worried, probably a big test coming up or something, Charlie thought. I smiled at him trying to look normal. I hadn't realized people were beginning to see through my façade. "She's at work but will be back in about twenty minutes. You can come in if you'd like, there still some pizza if you'd like."

"Sure, thank you," I said with another fake smile. Quietly we made our way to the kitchen and sat down. I played with the pizza and had to swallow a bite when Charlie got suspicious. Then I threw away my plate and napkin full of pizza before I began to get nauseas and excused myself to the bathroom. Human food is twice as disgusting coming back up. When I returned Charlie was watching SportsCenter and I joined him. Eventually I heard Bella open the door.

"Dad? Edward?" she called. A wave of panic hit me so hard that I though Jasper was hiding somewhere. Every time I have seen her since her birthday my decision began to worry me more and more. This time it hit me hard.

"In here," said Charlie.

"Hi" she said softer than usual.

"Hey, Bella," Charlie said without looking up. "We just had cold pizza. I think it's still on the table."

"Okay" she answered. When she didn't move I looked at her and smiled a strained smile.

"I'll be right behind you," right after I remember how to use my legs. I thought to myself. She stared at us for a while with a puzzled look on her face. I wanted to go over and ask what was wrong.

Distance yourself, I reminded, so I stayed put. I gave her some time to eat but then heard her go upstairs, suspecting she wants to be alone. I stayed where I was. There was a click of her camera upstairs before she came back down. Bella tiptoed her way towards us with her camera. I felt to sick to my stomach to look at her. She snapped a picture of us and I knew I would have to look at her then. It was the human thing to do, so I did. I saw the gorgeous face I would have to leave behind. I looked at he with out emotion. I had coughed up the food a half an hour ago, so why was I still nauseas?

"What are you doing, Bella?" complained Charlie, like father like daughter.

"Oh come on," she gave a weak smile and sat in front of the couch. "You know Mom will be calling soon to ask if I'm using my presents. I have to get to work before she can get her feelings hurt.

"Why are you taking pictures of me though," he mumbled.

"Because you're so handsome," she joked. "And because, since you bought the camera, you're obligated to be one of the subjects."

I guess she's right, he huffed in his mind.

"Hey, Edward" Bella said. "Take one of me and my dad together." Bella threw the camera to me without meeting my eyes. Then she sat on the arm of the sofa next to him looking at me blankly.

"You need to smile, Bella," I said quietly. Under other circumstances, I would have found it funny. She did, I took the picture.

"Let me take one of you kids" so they can't take any of me. Charlie added in his mind. I gently put my arm around her shoulders and she tightly put hers around my waist.

"Smile, Bella," Charlie reminded. We both smiled as the camera flashed.

"Enough pictures for tonight," Charlie hid the camera in the crevice of the couch. "You don't have to use the whole roll now." I let go of Bella's shoulders and escape from her grip while trying to look like I didn't want her. I sat back down in my seat. Bella sat on the couch and I noticed her hands were shaking before she squeezed them between her stomach and legs. I wanted her ask her what was wrong but I reminded myself I couldn't. The show ended and I stood up.

"I'd better get home," I announced.

"See ya," Charlie waved. Bella followed me out the door and her heavenly scent was stronger out in the rain. I went to my car without risking a glance at her. If I did I probably wouldn't be able to leave.

"Will you stay?" she asked.

"Not tonight," we didn't speak after that, I got in my car and speed away.

When I returned home Carlisle was there.

I told the hospital today. The Denali clan is ready for us. We're all ready to go Edward. Just say the word.

"Thank you," I replied grimacing slightly at the reminder that I still didn't know how I could tell her.

You don't have to do this. I could go back to the hospital and tell them my job in L.A fell through we don't have to go. L.A? Is that what he told them? I found that I didn't care much about the story.

"Yes we do," I said.

There was one more thing, he sighed I raised my eyebrow at him. I wasn't sure what to tell the school when your last day would be.

"Tomorrow," I decided. It wouldn't be good to led Bella on like this, and I don't know if I can look at her any more without feeling guilty.

All right then, just remember you don't have to do this.

I nodded he gave looked at me one last time and thought to himself. I really do feel bad for him, before walking away. I figured to was no use arguing and went to one of the only things that wasn't packed. My piano.

Music has always been a good distraction for me but now I wasn't sure anything could get my mind off tomorrow. I sat down at the bench for a while deciding what to play then decided to pick up on the piece I had left off on days ago. Before this all happened, it felt like years ago, a more carefree time. I closed my eyes and began to play. It took me some time before I noticed my hands had found another melody naturally. I froze immediately when I realized it was her lullaby.

I banged fist down on the keys and bent my head down on them in frustrations or grief I didn't know. I hadn't noticed I was like that for a long time until Emmett said

"Shouldn't you be going to school? Don't want to be late on your last day," Emmett kept his tone light but was thinking. Poor guy. Didn't even realize he was sitting there for hours.

"Oh thanks Emmett," I mumbled before going upstairs to change and then coming back down to leave.

Good luck Edward, you'll need it, Alice thought I looked at her questionably. I didn't look, I swear. These things are obvious. I didn't comment as I prepared myself for a horrid day. I looked back at the house one last time. My family was getting ready to load their cars for Alaska. I was going to run down there after….tonight.

I arrived at school before Bella, again. But this time I didn't speak a word nor look at her like I wanted to. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as I thought. The only time I allowed myself to speak to her was in English when she didn't realize Mr. Berty was asking her the question. I whispered her the answer and wondered if it was because of me. I ruled that option out and told myself she was probably tired from work.

At the end of the day we went our separate ways and I returned home to prepare myself for later. I spent hours staring at my car debating whether or not to stay one more day before I chickened out. One more day. I told myself. Tomorrow I would have to. My phone rang; it was Alice.

"Hello."

"Edward? Are you planning on hiding up there for forever?" Alice demanded.

"I know, Alice. One more day I promise. I'll do it tomorrow."

"You better or I'm coming up there. If you get to stay then so do I." I froze nobody on my family could come back to Bella. It wouldn't be good for her.

"Alice," I hissed. "As far as I'm concerned you or I or anyone else in this family is forbidden to see Bella after tomorrow."

"Whatever" she sighed sullenly, out of character of Alice. I heard the dial tone after that. I swiftly called the school and imitated Carlisle's voice telling them I would be attending one more day but to keep it quiet.

The school day was uneventful again. Nothing was new other than the nausea feeling returning in my stomach. I walked Bella to her truck. Today, it has to be today, I chanted.

"Do you mind if I come over today?" I asked.

"Of course not."

"Now?" the sooner that I wasn't ruining Bella's life the better. I was being selfish yesterday, not telling her then.

"Sure. I was just going to drop a letter for Renée in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there." My gaze traveled to the plump envelop in the cab. I could tell there were pictures of us in there. I didn't want her to have a reminder of what I have put her through. I couldn't let her send those pictures.

"I'll do it," I offered, "and I'll still beat you there." I smiled crookedly at her hoping it would lighten the mood.

"Okay," she agreed but didn't smile back. Maybe she's tired again. I shut her door and head back to my car with the pictures in hand. I made my way to her house and parked in Charlie's spot, hopefully that would give her some fore warning. Then something stuck me. If she developed these photos, she probably has others upstairs. I sighed, got out of my car and climbed up to her room. It was saturated with her luscious scent. I found her scrapbook quickly and saw that only the first page as filled with one picture of me. Bella's said of the picture was folded down. I chuckled--even now she can make me laugh--was Bella ever going to see herself clearly? I also gathered her CD Alice and I had given her. I was about to leave but was caught with a dilemma. I didn't have a right to take these they were hers after all. Eventually I settled on hiding them underneath a floorboard in her room. I couldn't help but let a tiny part of me hop she would find them. I continued downstairs to leave a note for Charlie. I had warned her to be carful in the woods this was just a precaution. In her script I wrote.

Going for a walk with Edward, up the path. Back soon, B.

Then—Heaven forbid—if something did happen to Bella I should be the one to blame. It seems I cant do anything right these days. I heard Bella's car rounding the corner so I ran to my car and slipped in waiting causally.

I walked over to meet her she began taking her backpack out and I stopped her.

"Come for a walk with me," I suggested all the normality was gone in my voice. I took her hand savoring the warmth. I didn't wait for her answer I tugged her toward the trail. I knew if I didn't do this soon, I never would. I only dragged us a few trees in close enough for her to see the house. Far enough for me to escape, how cynical it sounded.

I leaned on a tree across from her with out emotion--it was either that or have a breakdown—trying to memorize her perfect features.

"Okay let's talk," I was surprised how forceful her voice sounded.

I took a deep breath. I had been dreaded this for days. Since we've meet, actually, I always knew I couldn't stay with her forever. I just couldn't let go. But now? It hardly seemed possible.

"Bella, we're leaving," I heard myself say.

"Why now? Another year—"

"Bella it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless," I explained. She looked into my eyes like she was searching for something she couldn't find. What was she thinking?

"When you say we—" Idiot. I scolded myself, of course she would include herself with my family. How many times have we said she was part of my family? Mistake number one.

"I mean my family and myself," I watched as she shook her head back and forth.

"Okay, I'll come with you," she announced.

"You can't Bella. Where we're going….It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me," Likewise, I wanted to say back.

"I'm no good for you, Bella," I said. Out of all the lies I will have to tell her today. That will be the strong truth.

"Don't be ridiculous," she argued. I had expected this. For her to disagree, I was prepared to tell her for hours until she gave up. Bella does always have a good way of knowing when I lied. Surely she is seeing the biggest one I have ever told. "You're the very best part of my life," she sounded like I felt. Only I felt worse.

"My world is not for you," I replied coldly, slightly shocked that I had told the truth again.

"What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" she shouted.

"Your right. It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—"

"As long as that was best for you," I corrected.

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" she yelled, so Carlisle had told her more than what I had thought. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!" I would have snorted if I could feel pass the guilt and sorrow. She had no idea what she was giving up.

I took a deep breath again and looked at the ground. All the distance I had put between us had not prepared me for this. She was seeing past me. I now had to tell her the worst thing I will ever say. My mouth contorted in a small grimace before hiding it. I look up from the ground not letting any emotion trickle through my eyes.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me," lies. She paused for a second most likely shocked by my sudden change in tone.

"You….don't….want me?"

"No." What was I saying? Part of me wondered. How can you protect her if your gone? Stay with her. I shut that part out of my mind.

She stared in my eyes and I tried to memorize the exact shade of unique brown her eyes were.

"Well that changes things," her voice was reasonable. I knew she would get over this quickly. I couldn't look at her anymore. As perfect and heart-breaking beautiful she was I couldn't see what I was leaving behind.

"Of course I will always love you….in a way." In every way. "But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm….tired of pretending to be something I'm not Bella,"--I want to be human with you—"I am not human." I risked another look at her pure face, "I've let this go on for much too long, and I'm so sorry for that," she will never understand how sorry I am.

"Don't," she whispered, and at first I thought she was stopping me for apologizing. "Don't do this," she continued my heart broke. Bella, Bella, Bella, I don't want to do this. I thought but tried to keep my face straight.

I only looked at her in the fear that if I talked the truth would come out. She opened her mouth but continued to close it. I waited on edge to hear her voice one last time.

"If…that's what you want," no, Bella it's not what I want. But I do want you to be safe. I nodded not trusting my voice again. I almost dropped to my knees right there. I almost told her I was kidding and she was my reason of living. If she died—it was hard to even think of it—I couldn't continue to live. That reminded me of something.

"I would like to ask one favor though, though, if that's not too much," I spoke the words before I could think them over. An emotion shoot across Bella's face, hope, anticipation. I was so shock of her response that my careful mask was suddenly broken before I recomposed it.

"Anything," she promised quickly. That was so like Bella, here I was leaving her, but she would keep a promise for me. How was I going to live without her? It's a good thing I'm already dead.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," I asked my voice serious. Then I realized that was mistake number two, if I told her this she would think I still cared. Which was the truth, just not healthy for her.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course," I quickly recovered. "He needs you. Take care of yourself—for him."

"I will," she said. That relaxed me a little I could always trust Bella on her word.

"And I'll make you a promise in return," I began. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I wont come back. I wont put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I never existed," I hope that happens. I hope that she will wake up tomorrow and think it was all a nightmare. I tired to smile at her. "Don't worry. You're human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And your memories?" I will cherish them forever.

"Well"—I wasn't sure what to tell her. If I said I would never forget, she might take it as an invitation. But I couldn't pull of telling her I would forget with a straight face—"I won't forget. But my kind…we're very easily distracted," I tried to smile reassuringly again. Then I knew it was time to leave…if I could.

I took a step back already forcing myself to distance myself. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

"Alice isn't coming back?" she asked. I felt horrible taking her best friend away. Worse than the guilt Alice will give me for doing this.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" she croaked.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." I took one last breath of her scent I would miss forever.

"Goodbye, Bella," I said quietly I turned to leave as fast as I could, from the fear that I may never to able to leave.

"Wait!" she chocked. I couldn't say no to her, not even now. I took her arms that had reached for me and put them to her side and steady her balance. I placed one last kiss on her forehead letting my lips linger there before she would notice what I was doing.

"Take care of yourself," I breathed, "I love you, always," I said so quietly she wouldn't hear. I wanted my last words to her to be true. Then I made myself run. Leaving whatever pieces of non-existent heart I had with her. My love, my Bella.

A/N: Review!