4. Missing

"This is the way it has to be,"She said, her voice soft, comforting. Her eyes sparkled and a sort of sad smile came over her flawless features. It was a smile that I wanted to make disappear, I wanted to erase that sorrow from her face, and I'd do anything to do so. Anyone would have. She was beautiful, her hair lushly falling to her shoulders and framing her pale, heart-shaped face. Even more beautiful than before, but it only proved what she was. It only showed the fork in our paths.

We were born enemies, since our ancestor's creation. But I didn't want to hate her. I loved Bella; as a best friend, and more than that. Why did she want him when she could have me? What did that parasite have that I didn't? I was just as devoted, I would be just as caring, even more so. I knew what was best for her too. And she wouldn't have had to have changed for me. If she had chosen me, things would still be the same. She would still be human, and we would still be friends. And better yet, we wouldn't have to worry about some bloodsucker running after her. Everything would be perfect, better than perfect. But she had chosen him, and now she was gone. Now I was left with even less than what I'd wanted. And that was even worse. But that's the way the world works, right? You don't know what you have until you lose it, appreciate what you have, while you have it.

Mostly what I didn't understand though, was why Bella had chosen to be a vampire otherwise. It was what they stood for, cold-blooded murderers. They had no boundaries for who they killed, whether it was someone older and near the end of their life, or just a little kid. People who had lives. And the reason behind all of this killing was just for their own survival, for their undying thirst; one of the most selfish acts imaginable. How could she live with that? With being universally known as a killer? I hadn't wanted her to be looked at that way, and I still didn't imagine Bella as a thirsty parasite. But that was what she was, in all reality. But she had had a choice.

"No it doesn't!"I yelled, reaching out to her, but before my fingers could skim her arm, she faded away. Honestly, if it did have to be the way it used to be, with her seeing that bloodsucker, but still being able to hang out with me; I'd settle for it. Because that's just how much I miss her.

"Jake. Jake! Will you at least try to act like you're awake?"

I felt something hit my head gently and I opened my eyes, jerking awake at the sound of Quil's voice, there was a rolled up newspaper in his hand, which he had used to hit me with. I blinked and looked around the table, rubbing my eyes to wake up a little. The pack was gathered at the table, we had decided to hold a small meeting at Emily's house, Sam calling it last minute.

"Sorry,"I mumbled my thoughts still on the dream. Quil looked at me for aminute, his eyes meeting mine. He knew what I had been dreaming about, or who, I should say, but he knew better than to comment, especially with the pack around. But I couldn't help it, though I wanted to. I had been having the dreams ever since she had left, some of them with her as one of them. But the ones that were worse was when she was the same, and the dream would play out like any other day we were hanging out. And then I would wake up, and reality would come rushing back.

"As I was saying,"Sam continued calmly as if there had been no disturbance in the first place,"We'll have to keep an eye out. It could just be a natural disappearance, but rather safe than sorry."

I blinked, trying to listen more intently to what was going on. Someone had gone missing in town a couple of days ago, just out of the blue, and the police didn't have any leads. Of course, we had a theory, but there wasn't any proof yet.

"We could try looking across the boundary line,"Paul suggested. I swear the only time he seemed amicable was when Sam was around to keep him in line.

Emry shook his head, frowning a little,"If it was in town, wouldn't we know by now?"

"It wouldn't hurt to check,"Quil said, shrugging. I stayed silent, hardly involved in the conversation. It didn't make too much of a difference to me right now anyways, things hardly had lately.

"If it was a new one we would know,"Sam said,"One of them could have slipped up and cleaned up well. Otherwise we'll still search the area, and tomorrow night we'll start over the border line. I think we'd all work best with partners though, two sets of eyes will be better than one."

"Not that one of us would miss something,"Paul said smugly.

Sam looked at him pointedly, but said nothing.

"Speaking of 'new ones'," Emily said, she was standing near Sam, drying off a dish,"Hasn't Naomi's other daughter moved back with her children?"

Quil nodded,"Kyle and Taj, Kyle's not old enough yet though."

"But Taj.."Emry said slowly, trailing off.

Sam was quiet for a few moments, thinking,"It's a fifty-fifty chance. We are close to the coven, but their activity has become very subtle. It wouldn't surprise me if she didn't change."

Paul laughed,"Taj one of us, that's an interesting thought."

Quil frowned, scowling,"You could be more sympathetic Paul. Taj is pretty nice once you get to know her."

"Yeah, I'm sure she is, in an alternate universe,"Paul said off-handedly.

Quil growled softly.

"Okay guys, play nice,"I said, deciding to interject. The last thing we needed was another skirmish between Paul and one of the pack members. It was true though, the coven had become more subtle, their appearances in town were very few, except for their leader. They were almost isolated, so what would be the point of another werewolf?

"How do you think she would be?"Same inquired, his gaze turning to Quil.

Quil was quiet for a few moments, his gaze turning to the table, he shrugged,"..I'm not really sure."

..Probably more aggressive..

I frowned a little at Quil's thoughts, didn't he know by now there wasn't a point in not giving a straight-forward answer anymore? I thought about Taj's personality and could easily picture her like Paul, well, okay I'd give her some justice, maybe not as bad as Paul.Most new members of the pack were a little more aggressive, but with Taj I could picture it even more so. I remembered her expression from yesterday when Quil and I had first gone to the house, before her initial surprise. There was just something about her face, about her eyes that was accusing, defensive; cold. Like someone who had been hurt and learned from it. She had been even worse in the garage, when she had been acting on that frost held inside. How would she act if she was one of us? She could possibly be dangerous. But Taj had never been like that when we were kids. She was the complete opposite, always smiling and laughing, friendly, and as reckless as well..me. That's what I had liked most about her, the flare, the brightness in her face and in her eyes, and she hadn't cared what other people thought.

I compared the two faces in my mind, one as bright as the sunlight, the other as bitter as Winter. Opposites.

..What had happened?

Sam watched Quil, then looked at me,"You two were touching earlier today. She could suspect."

"But what?"I replied,"That I had a fever maybe? I had to bring her to Naomi's."

Sam frowned a little,"I've spoken to Naomi about it already, we won't say anything unless she starts showing signs. She doesn't have to know if she isn't one of us. Which means, I'll need you all to be careful."

Murmurs rippled across the table.

"Alright,"Sam said, standing up," Let's start watch then, same area as yesterday."

The sound of chairs moving filled the room, I stood up and stretched as everyone made their way outside into the cool night air. Sam paused to kiss Emily good-bye, and I envied them.

"You know,"Quil started as we walked along in the woods west of La Push, we had left the path a few minutes ago, and were now trying to find appropriate cover to change and then head off in the direction we had left off yesterday,"You could have been a little less edgy yourself, Jake. What was with that whole race thing anyways? I mean, no offense, but out of the group, you seem a little more less likely to act all macho."

The woods were just getting dark now, if it was possible to see over the lush canopy, I'm sure the sky would be a darkening indigo by now, with just a few stars coming into existence. I hadn't really been listening to Quil at first, more preoccupied with thoughts of my own. But as he brought this subject up I looked at him curiously, raising an eyebrow.

"Gee, thanks. And you saw how she was acting in the garage, Ice Queen on a rampage. I didn't even do anything. ..I just thought that a little challenge would put her back in her place,"I answered logically, whether that had worked or not I wasn't quite sure yet.

Quil snorted, now it was his turn to look curious,"Her place? ..She sprained her wrist, Jake. And I do understand where you're coming from, but do think that was the best way to handle it? I mean, it isn't like you don't know Taj, you could have just asked her."

Okay, this was weird, Quil being all mature. Well, Taj was his cousin- they were closer than that, I knew. Alright, well maybe I had been a little less than kind. But I had my reasons, other than her obvious rude nature I mean..

"Quil,"I said, as we came to a spot filled with brush and where the trees were especially dense,"What did happen to Taj?"

A memory flashed in front of my eyes, Taj's face on one sunny afternoon a few years ago, a smile lighting up her features as she laughed at a joke someone had told, her blue eyes glimmering as the sunlight gleamed on her blonde hair, casting an almost golden sheen. Before everything had happened, before I had met Bella, or known about this whole werewolf thing. When things had been simpler.

Quil was quiet for a few moments, though not morose, he seemed to be making a decision,"Maybe if you got on better terms with her, she would tell you."

I frowned a little, displeased with his reply, but I understood. I still wanted to know though. I thought about how cold Taj had been, and I felt..sorry for her, what would make her turn out this way? I almost wanted to take that cold air away from her, make her smile again, like she used to. Taj had been so..innocent as a kid, and I didn't want that taken away from her. The way it had been taken away from Bella..and from me. Maybe I didn't have the right to that innocence anymore, and I didn't have the choice to change it..but maybe I could change it with Taj.

"That might actually happen, if she doesn't freeze me to death first,"I said, remembering my conversation with Billy earlier, or lecture, now that I thought about it,"Billy said I had been too reckless, and..rude. So he wants me to try to make it up to her."

Quil snorted a little, shaking his head,"That should be interesting."

"Yeah,"I said sarcastically,"I can't wait."But part of me actually couldn't, I was curious to know what had happened, and I did want to try to help her. Somehow. That's just how much of a good guy I was.

Quil frowned, looking at something intently on the ground. He kneeled, tracing his finger in the dirt.

I walked over to him, kneeling as well,"What is it?"

But he didn't have to answer, I could easily see footprints in the mud, I looked over the size of the print. Most likely male. The two of us sat in silence for a moment, thinking.

"These tracks aren't that bad, they probably came through a few hours ago,"I said, touching the soil, it was damp, and the print was full, almost perfect.

"It could have been a hiker,"Quil said, looking at me.

I shook my head a little,"The imprint doesn't look like a hiking boot, but it could have just been someone walking through. Still, we should let Sam know." He would be pleased with some progress.

Quil nodded and I stood, following the prints a few paces. They were heading east, I looked straight ahead at the hundreds of trees, one just as similar as the other. It was in the direction of the boundary line.