Title: Love's Strategy - A Game of Hide and Seek
Author: Hell's Dark Tenshi
E-mail: hellsdarktenshi@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Does not belong to me
Warning: Shounen-ai, violence later on
Summary: Nagi is starting to see life at a different perspective, will he try to give life a second chance?
And would he accept a friendship that could change his life around? Nagi POV
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Fourth Chapter... Confrontation? Likely...
And later, in between the horizontal rules, (the lines) that is what really happened from Alexandre and Rosita's point of view!
Chapter 4 - Taking The First Step
I stared at the boy from Weiß for a little longer, then we were interrupted by Naoto's voice.
"Do you two know each other?" He seemed completely unaware that the look we were giving each other wasn't one of joyed reunion.
I regained my ability to speak. "Yes, you can say that." I looked at him purposefully as I said, "In fact, we have some catching up to do, if you would please excuse us." Without waiting for an answer, I turned and walked away, the boy following me.
I stopped when we reached the hallway. I spun around to face him as I coldly asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I go to Toshima High and I am in the team. Why are you here?" He retaliated back. He was frowning lightly, and I could tell that he wanted his weapons at the moment. I couldn't care less, because my weapon was my power and I could use it at any moment.
"I go to Kagake High and I am in the team also. I have as much right as you do to be here." I looked at him then. He seemed to be thinking about what I just said.
"Well, that means we'll be working together!" My eyes widened a bit in shock. I was his enemy and currently he was smiling at me. I then realized that what he said was true.
"I noticed." I commented dryly. As I stated earlier, I wasn't one for losing, and if I couldn't learn to work with him, then our team may suffer. "I will work with you for this game, but do not expect anything more."
His smile faltered. What did he think? That I would want to be his friend? Expect that of a naive child, he thinks that I can easily forget our past? He has the thought that everything's alright now? Well he was wrong.
"I didn't expect much," he started, "but if you want to talk sometime then tell me." With that, he left and made his way back to his friends.
Talk sometime? What did he think, that I was crazy? Why would I talk to him, he was just my enemy a few months ago. Granted that he helped defeat Estet, but that didn't mean that I was ready to trust him or even start chatting. Why would he even ask that?
I walked back to my teammates and listened to them talk for a while. Hashi turned back to me and asked if I was alright.
"Fine" I replied, not one for long answers.
The rest of the meeting had gone on smoothly. He and I avoided each other the whole time, not even going near each other at all. My teammates asked me if I was feeling fine, since most of the progress they had made on getting me to open up flew out the window after talking with the boy from the other team.
After self-introduction, I went with Naoto and Hashi as I was introduced to so many people that I couldn't possibly remember them, plus my mind was still wandering a bit. This just complicated my whole life, seeing as I for sure would have to work with him. As much as I didn't like the idea, it was pretty obvious that we'd have to talk again because I learned from the people I met that he did most of the strategy for their team.
When meeting was over, at around 9:00 in the evening, Naoto, Hashi and I started walking out. At the door, they turned and talked to me.
"Are you sure you'd be okay walking by yourself?" Hashi and Naoto went a different way than I did to get home, so they were worried about me.
"I'll be just fine," I assured them, "I don't live that far from here." With that, they said good-bye and walked away. As I started walking towards my house, I saw the Weiß boy again. He was walking towards my way, and noticed me just seconds after I saw him.
"Good evening," he greeted me with a slight smile on his face, "I guess we are working together more than I expected." It seems he figured out that I was the team's strategist also. I couldn't really find a way out of it, so I talked as I walked.
"I also figured that out." Of course, talking doesn't necessarily mean talking amicably.
"Our next practice is tomorrow, so we should take that time and the next practices to observe how our teams work together." He just kept on walking beside me. Does this mean that he lives somewhere in my neighbourhood?
"Fine." He had a point there, and that was what I was planning to do. I realized I had to say more than that, and continued, "We should take separate notes and then compare them to see what we both notice." It would certainly be different working with him, or anybody for that matter, since I wasn't used to working with anybody other than Schwarz. I just volunteered to spend more time with him though, but it couldn't be avoided.
His smile grew a bit wider, "I agree with you! Maybe after practice we can go somewhere to eat!"
Wasn't he just a bit too enthusiastic? Well, eating after practice sounded nice, since I knew that I'd have to participate a tiny bit also. "That sounds fine to me." I didn't really wait for an answer, I just turned right abruptly and walked away from him. I didn't usually go this way, but it wouldn't be nice to get too close to the house with a member of Weiß.
"Okay! I'll see you tomorrow!" I heard him yell after me. I didn't even turn around and I continued walking until I reached the house.
When I woke up the next day, I noticed that the sun hadn't even risen, because I was an hour early. It was strange since I got to sleep at 10:00 last night. Well, if I was already awake, then there is no use to trying to sleep again, I wouldn't be able to. I got up and went through my morning routine.
After I finished breakfast, I headed upstairs and started reading the book that was entitled "Love" from where I left off:
Back to my day. I being one of the managers of the inn had some papers to attend to, and I was doing so in my office in the lobby. After working for some time, I decided to take a stroll in the gardens of our inn and greet some of the guests. It was a lovely day and many people were out walking and there was a joy in the air that lifted all the thoughts from my head.
When suddenly, I turned a corner, and there she was. Rosita was sitting on one of the benches, reading a book. As I approached her, she laid down her book to greet me. I greeted her in return and sat down beside her. Our conversation was just general matters, but I could have sat there all day to listen to her talk. And her laugh, her laugh was a beautiful action and sound, her eyes sparkling as she would cover her mouth politely with one hand.
At the end of our conversation I expressed the wonderful time I had in her company and my hope to meet with her again. She accepted! We are meeting again tomorrow at the same time. Ahh, life seems more vivid and joyous.
Yours truly,
Alexandre
I placed the book down a bit and thought about what I just read. This Alexandre seemed to have really fallen for Rosita. His description of his feelings while talking to her seemed a bit dramatic. Would just hearing a person you like talking to you bring you any joy so great that you could just listen to them the whole day? He seems so happy that he fell in love, and he thinks that his life is all the better for just talking to her. I didn't really understand, after all, I had certainly never fallen in love before. I decided to continue reading on:
April 5, 1945
My relationship with Rosita seemed to grow more every single day, and so has my fondness of her. I wish that she could stay here with me, but she lives in Italy and her family is there also. She came to Versailles for a little break from her home, which is at the moment so hectic because of war. There are talks of the war ending soon, and I fear our time would draw short. I spend my time with her a lot, but I have my duties to attend to. I don't know what I would do without her here with me. I certainly cannot go to Italy with her, my work is here and I cannot just leave my brother.
There is also one other problem. Rosita is from a rich and privileged family, while I am just a commoner. She is her family's eldest child, and she has no male siblings. It means that she needs to marry someone who can help continue a rich and prosperous business. Her parents are counting on her to marry to unite their business with another to bring more profit and wealth into the family.
I do not blame them. In uncertain times like these, times of war, I know that the families care about the well-being of their family line and name. I know that I would not be allowed to marry Rosita because of my background. Our union would bring nothing, instead, it may weigh them down. I am not poor, but I am not rich either. I have enough to live by and some extra for a few things that I like. I would not be able to support a family. It is one of the reasons that neither my brother nor I have married yet.
I am supposed to meet her now, so I should stop writing.
Yours truly,
Alexandre
I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. It seems he fell in love with the wrong person, a doomed relationship from the beginning. If I were him, I would not continue talking to her, torturing myself with her every day. She is going to leave him someday, and then what? He would just be heartbroken to a greater extent.
I noticed that it was time for me to go to school, so I packed the book into my bag and headed outside. Except that Alexandre's dilemma never left my mind. I kept thinking about him all the way to school. It would be selfish of him to ask her to stay, not that she would because she has a duty to her family. It would be foolish of him to leave his brother and business to go to Italy, where he knows that he cannot marry her because of his social status.
The last one was one that I really thought was the whole problem. There were so many of those cases, where social status separated those that fell in love. It was really, well, if put to a word, disheartening. I knew that there were all these people saying that you can't help who you fall in love with, but mostly, you fall in love with those that would just cause you grief. Why then, would you try and fall in love?
My thoughts were making my head hurt, so I decided to concentrated on Physics. We were studying motion and Newton's three laws:
1. Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.
2. The relationship between an object's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F = ma.
3. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Come to think of it, the first law could apply to love, couldn't it? If you were in love, you wouldn't just stop because of no reason, something must happen. That made enough sense. Though, the second could probably be applied if I knew an equation for love, but I don't, so I won't apply it. Then there was the third law. If someone fell in love, then does that mean that that person would have to suffer too? In this world, I haven't ever really seen a fairytale romance or a romance that was always so easy from the beginning.
The bell rang and I made my way to Math, where I decided that if I was going to keep my sanity, then I had better stop thinking about love. It worked fine, until lunch, when I found my way to the library again. It really was rare that I showed this much interest in a book, but I wanted to find out what happened to Alexandre so that my imagination and thoughts would finally be at peace.
I turned to the entry after:
April 24, 1945
It is inevitable. Rosita has to leave soon. Her parents sent her a message, saying that she should return home so that they could help her settle down. The war is drawing to an end and as soon as the borders are clear, she should head south and return home. We are being separated, and there is nothing that I can do about it.
I talked to Jacques about my problems, but he couldn't do much more than listen. He knows that I love her by know, and I think that he feels really sorry for he can't do anything to help me out. I told him that it was all right. I don't want him to worry about me.
Yours truly,
Alexandre
That was a really sad entry. I noticed that I was showing a bit more expression than what I was used to and carefully schooled it back to my usual mask.
May 8, 1945
Today was one monumental day. Victory in Europe was declared today and now Rosita is free to go. But the most astounding thing was that I heard the words that brought me so much happiness and so much pain...
May 8, 1945
Alexandre approached the gardens slowly. He had just received news of the victory in Europe. While he was happy that the war would be over, he was saddened by the fact that he knew Rosita would have to leave. But whatever happens, he knew he had to tell her how he felt about her. He wanted her to know that he loved her.
He saw her standing near the bench where they had met for the past weeks. He admired her again, and saw her as if he were seeing her again for the very first time. The sunlight caught her golden strands and made them shine. She turned around and he was stunned again at her beautiful emerald eyes and her pale complexion. Her red lips parted and spoke to him, and he just smiled.
He talked to her for a while, then he turned a bit serious and faced her.
"Rosita," he began, "I know that with the war ending in Europe, you would have to go back to your family, and I just want to make sure that you know that," here he paused, swallowed, and continued, "that, I love you."
"Alexandre," Rosita started.
"Please, don't say it, I know that you probably don't feel the same, but I just wanted to tell you so that you would know." Alexandre wasn't able to stand it anymore and looked to the ground.
"Alexandre," Rosita raised his chin with her hand so he was looking into her eyes, "what I wanted to say was that, I have also fallen in love with you."
Alexandre looked surprised. "You have?"
"Yes, I have, and I do not regret so. I just regret that it took me this long to say it to you. I had thought that since I was leaving, I didn't want you to feel sad, so I never told my feelings, thinking that our parting would be much better, but I see that I was wrong, and that I should have spoken up sooner." Tears were running from her eyes now. "Please forgive my mistake."
He wiped her tears away tenderly. "There's nothing for me to forgive because I made the same mistake. I realized only today that I did not want you leaving without knowing that I loved you, even if you didn't love me. That way, I can part without regretting."
She smiled at him again. The smile that he so loved to see. "Thank you, for everything. I had a wonderful time here and I just wish that I could stay longer."
Alexandre also smiled, but sadly so, for he knew that as much as they both wanted it, she couldn't stay. "I know you can't stay any longer than you have already, and it has been a pleasure talking to you and being in your company." He leaned in and kissed her softly. "If for any reason, you can get away from your role in the family, then you are most welcome to come back, I'll be waiting."
"I'll try and find a way, I really will." Then they sealed the agreement with another kiss."
When they parted ways, he went up to his bedroom, while she went to hers and packed. She would be leaving tomorrow and should get ready. Alexandre sat down at his desk and pulled out a small, hardcover book. He turned to a page and started writing:
May 8, 1945
Today was one monumental day. Victory in Europe was declared today and now Rosita is free to go. But the most astounding thing was that I heard the words that brought me so much happiness and so much pain...
...she is going to leave tomorrow, and though the thought of it brings a pain to my heart, I am glad that I had told her of how I felt. If I hadn't, then I wouldn't have learned that she felt the same way.
I should get ready, for tomorrow. I am going to make her a fine breakfast, then whisk her off to the gardens where we talked. I am going to give her a locket. Inside it is engraved: Alexandre & Rosita. To remind her of me, even when she is back in Italy.
Yours truly
Versailles, France
Alexandre
I sat there stunned for a few seconds because of the fact that my eyes were getting misty. I wiped them away and was glad that no one witnessed that. Why did that make me cry? I don't cry. I can get sad, but I haven't cried in some time. The story itself didn't make me cry, but instead, it was the emotions of Alexandre that he conveyed through his writing that reached me. I felt his deep sadness of his coming parting with Rosita, I felt his bittersweet joy at learning that she loved him too, and mostly, I felt just how content he was to see her and talk to her, to hear her laugh and watch her eyes sparkle. It was frightening. Frightening that I felt some connection towards him. But still, it confused me, all his feelings confused me. His joy of seeing her overrode his sadness at knowing she was leaving. His love was so deep and strong that it got to me, even though I thought that I was incapable of feeling those emotions.
I headed for my locker and took out my gym clothes. I stopped outside the locker rooms. I didn't want to interrupt my thoughts so I headed outside instead of to my class. Outside, I sat on the benches that overlooked the football field where my first gym class took place, and spent my time in deep thought.
I had never really experienced love, but through Alexandre's emotions, I think I just may know what it feels like. If love was this complicated, pain and joy at the same time, then it truly does work with Newton's third law. But to one exception. I think the ones that last are the ones that don't fit with the third law. They are the ones where the joy overrides the pain that is felt. That's when the relationship would succeed. Since when you have that much happiness, then you can bear with a little pain, for nothing is perfect.
Then maybe, love really is all that powerful. It must be because for someone like me, who I thought was beyond all that and would never figure it out, to realize all this then it means that it is deeper than I thought it was.
With my mind righted again, I stood up, but I didn't go back inside. Instead, I stared at the blue sky with the clouds passing by, I felt the wind as it blew my hair around, I took a breath of the fresh air outside and then, I ran. I ran through the field and felt for the first time, that I was alive, and when I stopped running, I laid down on the grass and just looked at the sky again, and smiled.
A/N: Can you just imagine Nagi doing that? For once, full of life, instead of in the shadows. I really liked writing this chapter!!
This chapter was re-uploaded... Thank you (me) hellsdarktenshi@hotmail.com and I will address them.