Chapter Four
Stuffed Animals
"Al, I'm scared."
"...You don't sound scared," he replied without looking up.
"I know. I don't want them to know that I'm scared. They can't know that I know, or else it will be the end of me. I could DIE, Alphonse. Would you want me to die? No. I thought not."
"...Okay, I give up," he sighed. "What are you talking about?"
"The stuffed animals!" Mird cried, gesturing at the small pile in the corner of the room. The pile contained a very big Santabear, a blue Uglydoll, an old lady grandma Dibley, a rock star rabbit made out of towel-like material, a purple hippo that looked like somebody had made it using knitting needles and a very old, brown teddy bear with no stuffing in it's neck. "They're plotting to kill me in my sleep because I don't pay attention to them! What do I do?!"
"...Well, they're plotting to kill you because you don't pay attention to them right?" Al said, playing along for the moment.
"Right!"
"Well," he said with a small smile. "then just pay attention to them."
Mird blinked. "But...But what if they think I'm annoying?"
"They won't."
"Why not?"
"Because you aren't."
"Oh, I can be VERY annoying when I try."
"Then try to NOT be annoying."
Mird gasped. "WOW! Good idea!" She gave Al a big hug. "Thanks for saving my life!" Then she ran off to pay attention to the pile of stuffed animals.
Al rolled his eyes and continued to read The Darwin Awards.
Mird won a Darwin Award for getting killed by her stuffed animals.
Of course, she wasn't actually dead, because that would suck. And this is fanfiction. So she came back to life and hugged Al again and got punched in the face by all the readers because of this shitty ending.