Summary: Did the last chapter leave you wondering if Hermione would actually committ suicide? If so please continue. If not LEAVE! Just kidding..Well, this chapter kind of explores the suicide thing...Wow this summary sucks compared to last chapter's summary. But, please enjoy, and please review. Flames are excepted, however I do prefer constructed criticism...:)
This chapter is based off of Demi Lovato's Skyscraper. I do not own Harry Potter and I do not own the lyrics used in this story. But I really wish I did.
Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching tear drops in my hands
"It's like she just, gave up, Harry. She doesn't eat. She doesn't sleep. She doesn't acknowledge anyone or anything." If only you knew what I was thinking about, dearest Fred. I'm taking Katie Bell's advice you know. I'm going to kill myself. You'd think with the aftermath of the war I'd be able to at least look as though I were grieving in peace. I mean, I literally have nothing and no one. My parents, or at least my mother, was killed by Bellatrix herself. My father was killed by Rodolphus when he was trying to run away. Aunt Jane was raped and murdered in front of her husband and five year old children. Said husband is in Azkaban for being a Death Eater. And the children, gods bless them, are so terrified by magic, they refuse to come anywhere near me. So tell me dear Fred, why should I be able to eat when my loved one's never will again? Why should I be able to sleep when my loved one's will never wake up?
However, I wouldn't want anybody to be suspicious, so I'll pretend like I'm ok. I'll pretend like I'm done with grieving.
Only silence as it's ending
Like we never had a chance
As I leave my room in the burrow, I hear giggling. When I turn my head, I began to wish I hadn't. There's George are with Katie about to walk past me into the broom closet.
As he passes me, George whispers into my ear, "I bet you wished it was you." you have no idea how right you are. Once the closet door closes all I'm left alone, in silence. my thoughts wander to when it could've been me in Katie's place. But..you and me, George, we never stood a chance. Once i brought my walls down, you left me, reminding me why I put those walls up around me in the first place.
Do you have to make me feel like
There's nothing left of me?
I wish you didn't constantly let her put me down.
I wish my mother and Auntie Jane were still alive.
I wish somebody, anybody really, would notice how far gone I am.
I wish and I wish, and I hope and I pray..but the thing is, wishes don't always come true.
The sad thing is, I still wish for you. I wish you'd been holding my hand at my mother, and aunt's funerals. I wish you'd hold me like you hold Katie Bell. I wish you'd tell me how everything will eventually be ok. I wish you'd stand up for me whenever Katie tells me to "go cry to your mommy, oh wait, you can't, she's dead and it's all your fault." As if I, myself, don't constantly blame myself for every death I have seen..for every death I have caused.
It's been three months since Fred woke up and Katie made that comment advising me to kill myself. As I look through the purple notebook that held my plans(for I am nothing, if not a planner) on how I'd go through with killing myself. The notebook held every detail possible, no matter how small. From how I'd do it to what I'd wear to how long it'd take to complete. Once I'm done reading the notebook I realize how stupid it is to kill myself over a guy. No guy is worth this, not George and certainly, no, especially, not my father. Even if everytime I take a shower I get reminded of what he did to me.
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
So go ahead, tell me it's my fault my mother and my aunt died. Go ahead, tell me I deserve to have my cousins, my only biological family members, turn their back on me. Go ahead, let Katie tell me to kill myself. Doesn't mean I'll do it. Why should I let a pitiful little girl destroy me? She may have the one thing I thought I wanted but, if this is how you treat me then George, she can have you.
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
You see, I've come to realize, that I'm not a fragile little girl anymore. I'm not the broken mess I once was when my father was around. I'm not the shell I was once my father left. I'm not the lost girl I was when you began to play with me. I'm not made of glass. And I'm not made of paper. Whenever I break, I will be put back together.
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper
As you walk in, I notice your attention is on me. Katie is running up the stairs suggestively calling your name.
"Hold on Katie. I'll be right up. I just need a quick word with Hermione." Wrong move George. Now she'll hate me even more. As Katie stomps up the stairs and slams the door, you sit down next to me and put your arm around my shoulders. "Bet you wish you didn't turn me down now love."
"Actually, George, if this is how you were to treat me everytime you didn't get your way well, I'm just fine on my own, thank you very much. Katie can have because honestly, I don't need somebody like you in my life"
"You realize, that this is your fault right? I laid my heart out to you, and you still turned me down"
"Yeah well, I told you I wasn't ready. You said you understood. You said I could take my time. So no, this isn't my fault." At my words, George just glares a hole into the carpet. Maybe..maybe I should move on from you. As I look around I notice Seamus. "HEY! Seamus?" After a bit of looking around, Seamus focused on me. "Would you like to go out sometime?"
Almost as if he couldn't believe I had asked him, Seamus hesitated to answer. "S-sure Hermione." At Seamus's consent, George burned the infamous Weasley red
"Great. Owl me the details." And to further rile George up, I winked at Seamus, then as I passed him, gave him a kiss on the cheek "Happy Christmas Seamus, George."
As the smoke clears, I awaken
And untangle you from me
As I wake up, I look around and notice two things. First, I am not in my room. And second, there is an arm around me. Trying not to freak out, I turn toward the person I am sharing a bed with who turns out to be Seamus. After taking several deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. I gently shake Seamus in an attempt to wake him up. He doesn't even stir.
I get up, successfully untangling myself from Seamus. I gather my clothes and instead of getting dressed, disapparate directly to my flat. Still, with no clothes on, I walk into my kitchen and head straight for the cabinet for a Hangover potion. Once I swallow the potion I begin rummaging through the cabinets for food only to be interrupted by someone clearing their throat.
As I jump up at the noise, I turn around only to see George standing not even an inch away from me.
"G-George. What are you doing here?"
"The better question love, is why have you just gotten to your apartment, and with no clothes on." As he finished his er-question, he raised an eyebrow.
"Well...I fail to see how any of that is your business. In fact, it is not your business." At my words George puts his hands on the wall on either side of me effectively trapping me between him and the wall.
"That's where you're wrong love. Anything concerning is my business." Once he's done, George begins to move his head closer to mine.
"G-George. What are you doing? Stop." Despite my protests, George kissed my shoulder. "George, stop this. Right-" In the middle of my sentence, George kissed me neck eliciting a moan from me.
"Are you sure? Doesn't seem like you want me to stop, Mione. Mione?"
"Y-yes George?"
"Mione? Wake up."
"I am awake George."
"Mione!" I opened my eyes to see I was in a hospital bed surrounded by Harry and the Weasleys.
"What? What happened?"
"You were attacked by rogue Death Eaters when you were on your way to Christmas breakfast." At my panicked expression, Harry continued talking, "Don't worry, they're in Azkaban waiting to be kissed" Despite the seriousness of the situation I couldn't help but quirk my lips, even if for a split second.
Just then a nurse came in. "Alright guys, time to leave. She's just woken, we don't need her to get stressed out."
After saying their goodbye's everybody left and I went back to sleep.
Would it make you feel better
To watch me while I bleed?
When I wake up the next day I realize one of the twins is holding my hand and has their head against my arm. Noticing the missing ear, I realize it's George. But what is he doing here?
Once it hits me that it's George Weasley holding my hand, I quickly snatch it out from his grasp, effectively waking him up.
"What are you doing here George? Come to make fun of how Perfect Bookworm Hermione couldn't handle a couple of Death Eaters? Come to tell me it's all my fault?"
"No, Hermione, I-"
Mimicking him I continue, "Because it is my fault, right George? It's all my fault my mother's dead, right? It's all my fault my aunt is dead, right? It's all my fault my father abused me, right? It's all my fault said abuse cause me to have trust issues, right? It's all my fault, right? Everything bad that happens in my life, is all my fault, right, George? Right?!"
"No, Hermione! Just listen I-"
"Why? Why should I listen to you? You never bothered to listen to me."
Hermione, just-"
"Get out."
"What?"
"Get out!"
"No! Hermione, please, just-"
"Get out! I said get OUT!"
All my windows still are broken
But I'm standing on my feet
Despite having been in countless near death experience, I am still, obviously, alive. Despite each and every one of those experiences making me wish I were dead, I am still alive. Despite the constant pain I'm in, I'm still alive.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Well, after all the pain and all the crying, my windows must be broken. But, despite that, I'm still standing on my feet.
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
You can take everything I have. And you can break everything I am. But no, I will never go back to that place. I won't kill myself over this. Everyday someone gets their heart broken. But everyday, someone who got their heartbroken, moves on and becomes a better person. So, with everything you and Katie have put me through, I will move on. I'll become a better me. I'll be someone new. Someone who won't cry over you.
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
So, go ahead. Let Katie humiliate me. Let Katie poke and prod at every single on of my weaknesses. But just keep this in mind. Every time you tear me down, I'll keep rising from the ground. Just like a skyscraper.
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper
WOOOW! Finally finished it. Sorry for the delay guys. I've just been incredibly busy what with softball and midterms and drama club and robotics and actual drama. It doesn't help that I've also got writers block. Anyways, please check out my other stories, including the one I am currently writing, (Can't Be Tamed) in order to get over my writers block. So, please, leave a review and let me know what you think..this chapter was kind of bleh..
P.S FINALLY SAW LES MISERABLES..IT WAS AMAZING! HAD ME CRYING LIKE, THE ENTIRE TIME. Unfortunately, each and every one of my favorite characters died so..:/
P.P.S FINALLY SAW RED DAWN! IT WAS ALSO AMAZING! Except, once again, my favorite character died so double :/
P.P.P.S FINALLY SAW THE DARK KNIGHT RISES! IT WAS ALSO UH-MAY-ZING! This time my favorite character DIDN'T die so..triple :)