Chapter Four
Sitting with Emma, they both sat in silence, watching Delaney sleep. Her little chest rose and fell with every even breath under her Care Bears hospital gown. Her long blonde hair, much like her mother's, fell over her shoulders, making the heart monitor wires that came out from the neck of her gown a little less noticeable. Were it not for the small oxygen tube that ran from her nostrils and back behind her ears before meeting at her neck, you would never have known she was so sick just by looking at her.
The results had come back. Delaney had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which meant she would need a pacemaker. The doctors started her on an antibiotic they wanted her to take for three days to prevent any virus or infection from affecting her pacemaker. Then they would take her into a quick surgery, making a small incision in her abdomen where they'd place the pacemaker, and its lead would then run through her veins into her heart.
The relief that her daughter was going to be fine had Emma nearly collapsing to the ground, but luckily Neal's arms were right there to catch her.
Regina planned to stay for the next two weeks to help Emma out with Henry and Delaney while Neal went back to work. She had the vacation time, after all, and she never seemed to use it. Thankfully, Ursula had been understanding, moving her client's appointments and distributed them amongst some of the other therapists, telling Regina to take her time. She assured her that her job would still be there when, or if, she decided to come back.
That last part had Regina's lips pulling down into a confused frown. Why the hell wouldn't she come back, she wondered, until it hit her. Robin. Ursula had been thinking of Robin. She shook her head when she ended that call.
If it were just their location keeping them apart, she would never have left him that morning.
Robin received a text Sunday morning. Blinking one eye open, he grunted in disgust at the text from his friend. Haven't heard from you yet, so I'm going to assume you wanted her number. Kathryn 303-788-9387 followed by a winky emoji. Tossing his phone to the other side of the bed, he rolled over onto his stomach, burying his head deeper into his pillow.
It was Sunday, for God's sake. What in the bloody hell August was doing up before eight in the morning, Robin didn't know, nor did he care as long as he didn't share it with him. Just when Robin thought he would be able to fall back asleep, he heard the telltale sound of little running footsteps of his son and then his half-shut bedroom door swung wide open.
The bed was just up high enough still that Roland was unable to crawl up on his own, with little-splaying hands and his calls for, "Daddy, up!" had Robin twisting and reaching over the side of the bed, pulling the young boy up beside him.
"Good morning, little man," Robin said just before kissing his son's brow.
"Mornin'!" Roland returned, then buried himself under the pillows. Robin let his head fall back to the bed and closed his eyes. It wasn't until he heard the sounds of giggling, and the shifting of his son, did he open his eyes to find Roland not two inches from his face. His dark eyes were bright and unfortunately for Robin, very much awake.
"There's no chance of going back to sleep for a little while is there?" he asked his son, already knowing the answer.
"No, sleep," Roland told him with a small little frown. Then that little frown pulled up and his eyes widened. "Mickey Mouse on?"
He chuckled. No rest for the wicked, he supposed. "Alright, my boy. Let's go get breakfast and put on some cartoons."
Roland scrambled from the bed, dropping down off the side and easily landing on his feet before taking off into the hall. Robin was quick behind him, unlatching the baby gate from between the walls of the hall to keep his son from wandering anywhere past their two rooms. Then reminding Roland to hold his hand and go easy on the stairs because, before this house, he and Marian lived in a smaller home with only a single floor. Roland had been ecstatic to see that there were now stairs for him to climb on, but it only gave Robin anxiety that had his stomach plummeting somewhere past his knees every time Roland tried to take the stairs with any speed other than slow and steady.
Once cartoons were on, Roland settled himself onto the couch while Robin made his way into the kitchen. He took out two cups, a mug for himself and a sippy cup for his son. He poured Roland some grape juice while his coffee brewed. The place was finally coming together. There were still a few boxes left to unpack, but it was finally starting to look like a home. Something he and Roland could build on and finally give the young boy the stability he needed in his life.
It was only when that thought hit him, when he got to thinking about how much his son needed that sense of home and comfort, that Robin wondered about what he really wanted in life. A home for his son, with not only him but with a loving mum, someone who could pick up the pieces left from Marian and love his son the way a mum should. Fully and unconditionally, putting no one but him before her own selfish needs.
But could he really be happy settling for something, someone his heart didn't truly love? He supposed that was the difference between him and his ex-wife. It was why he held on so long to a broken marriage, forgiving her infidelity and lies to keep his family together for the sake of his son. He could do it if it meant his son's happiness, he could absolutely do it. Not everyone gets what they want in life.
As he poured his coffee, he thought about the number that was upstairs on his phone, and the brief time he spent with Kathryn at the bar. He thought maybe over time they could share a connection. Perhaps not the immediate one he shared with Regina, but maybe one day it would be there.
All he knew was Regina was gone. The illusion of her and him together, the one that he kept locked in his heart, now three weeks later, faded a little more with each passing day. Perhaps August was right. What was it going to take for him to realize she was never coming back? Another month, a year? He was hanging on to a fantasy for some inexplicable reason. He just couldn't seem to fully let go of her, yet.
Taking the juice to Roland, he set the cup beside him where the young boy had already dumped a set of large LEGOs all over the living room floor, stacking the blocks as high as he could, then clapping and giggling as it tumbled to the ground. Subconsciously, Robin knew he could be enough for the boy. He could make up for his mother's half love, love him enough for the both of them.
And yet, it was the thought of how incredibly unfair life was not to him but to his son, for taking his mother away from him, that had him climbing the stairs to his phone. The thought that he could try to let go and move on, not for his sake, but his son's. The thought that if he stopped listening to his heart and started listening to his mind, and his friends, it wouldn't be so bloody difficult to let her go.
Regina didn't have children.
She wanted them, had always wanted to be a mother, and still did, but she wasn't experienced with them. Not beyond a few hours of babysitting when she was a teenager. In all her years she'd known Emma and Neal, there have been only a handful of times she'd watched Delaney and Henry and only once was overnight, and it hadn't been on a school night. It wasn't like it was any different than before except she had to make sure Henry was up, dressed, and fed before Emma came to pick them both up.
With her hands on her hips, Regina looked around Emma and Neal's mostly stainless steel kitchen with pursed lips. "Is there something your parents pack for you? Do you take a lunch to school?"
Henry was spooning up a bowl full of Honey Bunches of Oats to go with the toast and banana Regina had given him. "Nah, I get lunch there."
Well, that was easy. She crossed her arms over her chest. Her dark gray wool sweater was doing a very good job keeping her warm. Casting her eyes out the window, she could see heavy white clouds moving in. It was going to snow. "Okay. Do you have your homework?"
Henry smirked at her as if he knew she wasn't good at this but amused she was trying. "Yeah, I have it."
Dropping her arms, she smiled. "You're sure you don't need anything?"
"I'm okay." He picked up his orange juice and took a healthy sip before asking, "Are you going back up to the hospital?"
Walking the few steps to the table, she took a seat next to him. "I am. I'll ride with you and your mom when she drop's you off and go back with her."
"Good, she needs someone up there with her. I mean, she has my dad but he's always talking to doctors or trying to make sure I'm okay."
Reaching over she placed her hand on his forearm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I'll make sure I'm there for her."
"Thanks, Regina."
She smiled at him, and her gaze shifted across the kitchen to a picture that hung on the wall next to a plaque that said, Home Is Where The Heart Is. It was a picture of Emma's parents. Her mother, Mary Margaret had fair skin and long dark hair that brought out her red lips and bright smile in spite of the tiredness on her face. Emma's eyes were her mother's, as was the fair skin. Her father, David, stood beside her, his hand helping to cradle their newborn baby in a fluffy white blanket, looking happy and proud. The tiny tuft of pale hair on the top of baby Emma's head indicated that she'd had hair like her father's from the beginning.
The picture, sadly, was taken right before they died. Right after Emma's birth, on the way home from the hospital, a drunk driver took them with him in a car accident that left her mother dead on impact, her father lingering in a coma for three months before he, too, passed on. With both maternal grandparents dead, no siblings for either parent and David's widowed mother Ruth fighting a battle with cancer that she lost shortly after her son died, Emma had been left with no one to care for her.
That was another reason Regina felt so compelled to be there for her friend. Growing up in foster care, Emma didn't let many people get close to her, and the ones she did, she pretty much expected them to walk away, eventually.
There was a honking from outside that pulled her attention back to the present. "That's your mom."
She and Henry got up from the table, taking his mostly finished bowl and plate to the sink while he grabbed his things. Catching a quick glance outside she told the young boy, "Grab a warm jacket, Henry. It looks like it's really going to come down today."
Mid-Monday morning, Robin walked into a small cafe called "The Bicycle." It was a small thing, nestled across the street from Denver Community College. It smelled of ground coffee beans and loud clatter of cups and plates, the whine of espresso machines and indie music filled the air. The place was definitely a student stop for sure.
Brushing the bits of snowflakes from his hair, he took a quick look around. Never noticing his "date" until he heard his name from behind him. There she was at a small table against the window. She wore a long light blue skirt, and a long-sleeved white cotton shirt that may or may not have had a few extra buttons undone that he was trying hard not to notice, but it was the light gray knit cap that had thrown him. She looked very much like she could be one of the many students crowding the cafe, and not the actual professor that she was.
Making his way between tables, he smiled when he finally reached her. She was surrounded by papers, that she began to shift into a neat pile, and he took a seat across from her. He couldn't help but notice how hard it was beginning to snow. Big fat clumps falling heavily from the sky, driving across town to get to work was going to be a slow and painful commute.
"It's really coming down out there," she said.
"Aye, it is," he agreed, shedding his coat. The temperature in the cafe just shy of boiling. "This is a nice little place. I've never been on a coffee date before."
Her hands came up to the table and wrapped around her ceramic mug half full of tea from the look of it. "I have to say, I'm surprised you called."
Licking his lips, he rubbed his palms over his thighs. He couldn't help kicking himself for yesterday's surge of vulnerability that had him picking up the phone and calling the blonde, asking if she would like to meet for a cup of coffee the next morning. Robin was sure he was suffering from some form of self-esteem issue to have done it. A lapse in judgment brought on by his own insecurity, that had him waking early that morning cursing himself, and his ex-wife, for taking all of his confidence and flushing it straight down the loo. "I am too," he admitted with a small smile.
"She hasn't called?"
His eyes flicked up to meet her steady ones. She was perceptive, he'd give her that. "No, she hasn't yet." Internally, he cringed. He could have just said no, could have ended it there instead of adding that last bit. The bit that all but said, he still had hope that she would.
Looking down into her cup, her voice was soft when she told him, "You know, at the risk of ruining this, I don't want to be anyone's second choice."
He should never have called her, even she could see he was nothing but a besotted fool, still in love with the idea of someone else.
"I'm sorry, of course not," he began, shaking his head. "This isn't fair to you and exactly the reason I told August I wasn't ready for anything. Along with my feelings for Regina, I'm also coming out of a pretty nasty divorce, which is not at all worthy of divulging into right now, but you're right and I apologize again. I shouldn't have dragged you into this."
"You're a mess," she declared, and he couldn't help but agree.
He swallowed. "I am, yes."
She sat back folding her arms across her chest, regarding him with her blue eyes. "I don't see the harm in being friends for now. If she never calls or comes back and something comes out of this someday, great, and if not, that's fine, too.
Robin tilted his head, mulling over her words. "Friends, eh?"
Her slim shoulders shrugged, while her light pink lips pulled up. "Why not? You're interesting and not so bad to look at."
Robin laughed outright. "You're not so bad yourself. Friends, it is then."
She shook her head and pointed up towards the counter. "Do you want coffee?"
With the pressure now off him, he gave her a smile, a real genuine smile. "I do. Would you like another?"
Robin got back to the office by eleven. He had spent a good hour and a half with Kathryn talking about her classes, and how he was looking forward to having some time in the lab, the weather outlook for the week ruining his plans for being out in the field, anyway.
It was enjoyable. And he found himself looking forward to a friendship with her.
"So when are you guys going out again?"
Robin looked up from his desk to find August grinning down at him knowingly. Kathryn, he could only assume, had told Belle which was why his friend was standing before him with the smug look of, I knew you'd call her, written across his face. Sometimes Robin wanted to punch that face. Looking back down at his computer screen, he answered him, "I dunno yet."
And it was true. When he left the cafe he said he would give her a call later in the week but they hadn't really made any set plans.
"But you like her?"
Robin stood, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair and pulling it on. He and John were going to head out and hopefully collect a few samples they could work on until they could get back out again. "She's very nice."
August's face fell into something resembling defeated exhaustion. "You're killing me. I want you to know that."
Robin did already know that, and as far as he was concerned, from now on that was August's problem. "Look, mate, I did what you asked. I had a conversation with her, I even had a date with her. Just back off a bit alright? I'll move on, but in my own time."
The bearded man seemed to deflate a bit at that. "You're right, I'm sorry. Thing is, with all the shit Marian put you through, and is still putting you through, I'd just like to see you find a nice girl this time."
Clapping his friend on the back, Robin assured, "You don't have to worry about that because I'm on to women like that now. There won't ever be another Marian."
August laughed. "Good."
"Do you wanna hug it out like a couple of girls now?" Robin grinned, which gained a snort from his friend and a smack across the back.
"Nah, you know I'm good."
Just then John rounded the corner. His already large form was heavily covered in many layers, topped with one of those fur hats with ears that stuck out about four inches to the sides. "Alright, you crazy son of a bitch. Let's go do this."
The drive out into the park took him a little bit longer than he had planned. The winding roads into the Arapaho Forest were covered in a good three inches of snow, and even though he knew the mountain roads well, he still took his time getting there. John was sitting in the passenger seat beside him, shaking his head while grumbling at the sudden turn in the weather.
"I knew it was too good to be true. Two weeks of nearly fifty degrees, I went and planned a nature walk for this weekend and now this." John scoffed in frustration.
Robin tried his best not to smile at the man's plight. It wasn't funny, but this was Colorado, what did the large man really expect? They were in the Rocky Mountains, after all.
"What area are we going to again?"
"I thought we'd get the area up by St. Mary's Glacier out of the way?" It was getting to the season where they needed to get out into the field and start observing the health of the many oaks, pines, and cottonwoods before the impending fire season. Robin and John's project was to study the trees and their surrounding environment, not only for conservation assessment but for its potential wildfire risk. He would only need to get a few pictures and a couple of core samples and then he could return later in the spring to assess the terrain.
John blew out a puff of air. "Only you would take us up there today."
Robin grinned. "Two cores and we'll head back."
"It's not me I'm worried about. You see all this," John broke off slapping his rather large stomach with a sardonic smile. "It's called insulation. It's your skinny ass who's gonna freeze out there."
Robin shook his head, turning his attention back on the road. "Is that before or after you have to stop half way up for air?"
John's glower only made Robin laugh more.
Thirty minutes later, Robin grabbed his bore and two long plastic straws to collect his core samples. Zipping up his jacket, he and John hiked their way up the trail.
He heard his friend's heavy breathing from behind him. Deep puffs of air that had him slowing his pace, taking his time to let John catch up. He supposed his mind had been elsewhere.
"How'd your date with the teacher go?" the big man's voice asked from behind him.
Robin stopped in his tracks, turning a bit to look back at his friend who was still huffing his way up the incline. Were all of his friends in on some big ploy against him? "Not you, too?"
The large man gave him a look, one that had the man's face scrunching into something of an offended grimace. "No, not me." He took the last two steps placing him beside Robin, and shrugged, "Date her, don't date her, I don't care. I'm just asking how it went."
"It was alright. She's nice and all, there might be something there, I guess."
"But she's not the one you want."
"Christ, you know, if anyone needs to be set up, it's August and Ruby. Those two could start a gossip column together."
John's chuckle was deep and knowing. "I bet I could find her on Tinder."
"On what?"
"It's a dating app-thing."
"And why would you be on Tinder, you're married?"
"Yeah, the wife and I have this thing that we do. See who can get the most likes…" Robin was staring at his friend outright. The way the man was smiling and going on, Robin had no idea what he was talking about and he was pretty sure he didn't want to know. John must have caught the look he was giving him because he broke off, and clearing his throat he said, "Anyways, I could do a search for her for ya."
"I already have her work number."
"Then call her already and put yourself out of your misery."
"I can't do that." He started walking again, John falling into step alongside him. The trees around them becoming more and more dense the further they climbed. "Don't get me wrong I've thought about it, many times in fact. But really, what would I say? 'Hello Regina. This is Robin Locksley; we had that one night together a few weeks ago and I think you forgot to leave me your phone number when you snuck out the next morning.'"
"What's wrong with that?"
"She obviously didn't want me to have it, John."
"So make the call, let her tell you her reasons for not leaving it and be done. If it's going to hang you up this bad where you can't even enjoy another woman's company, you need to do something."
"We'll see." Robin stepped off the path and into the forest proper. "Right now what do you say we get this done?"
"Now we're talking. Lead the way, my liege."
What's your problem?" Emma asked, taking a seat across from her at one of the hospital cafeteria tables.
Regina looked up from her Asian salad. "What do you mean?"
Emma let out a snort that was followed by, "You've been quiet since you've been here. Something tells me it's not just me and my kid that's got you down."
Emma's spirits had risen significantly in the last day. The knowledge that her child would soon be back up, happy and healthy, with the aid of a little device and not a transplant, instilled her with hope and relief. Even so, Regina still didn't feel like she should be sharing her problems with her friend so soon. Delaney still had surgery to go through later in the week. "I've been thinking is all."
"About?" The blonde arched a brow at her before picking up her large bacon double cheeseburger. Taking a bite, Emma stared at her expectantly. That was another thing that returned along with her disposition; Emma's appetite.
Regina shrugged. "You, Neal, and the kids, mostly. What I would have done if you hadn't let me come stay here after what happened with Daniel."
Emma eyed her. "He's not bothering you again, is he?"
Regina cringed inwardly. That wasn't how she meant for it to sound. "No, I haven't seen him since that day," she assured.
"Well that's good," Emma replied. She took another bite of her cheeseburger, and Regina took a bite of her salad. Just when she thought Emma had dropped the conversation, she asked, "What's got you thinking about that?"
"It's nothing..." Regina began and then broke off at Emma's look of disbelief, then insisting, "Really, don't worry about it. You're dealing with a lot right now, you don't need to hear about my problems."
"Wow, must be something big if you don't even wanna tell me about it."
"It's not that I don't want to, but you have Delaney to worry about."
"No, you know it'll be nice to talk about something other than test results and oxygen levels. Besides, I think I could use the break. What's eatin' ya, lady?"
Regina's lips twisted into a sideways smile. Licking them she took a deep breath between them and began, "When I was here last, the night we were supposed to meet, I met someone. He dragged me out of that bar I was waiting in and took me out on a date." Emma's eyebrows rose but she didn't say anything, only listened between sips of her soda, "I don't know what I was thinking, really. He was just so sweet and handsome, and he made me laugh a lot... I went home with him and the next morning I left before he could wake up."
She was looking at her nails. The very outside edges were beginning to chip and peel away, she was really going to need to find a salon or a store nearby with some remover. After a moment, Emma spoke from beside her, "That was almost three weeks ago and you're still thinking about him, so either you want to see him again or you think you're pregnant."
Regina rolled her eyes at the last part because no, she wasn't pregnant. They might have been impulsive, but they both had some sense to stop at the store and grab a pack of condoms beforehand. "I'm not pregnant."
Emma smiled for the first time since she'd been there. "Does Mr. Handsome have a name?"
Her lips quirked up. "Robin Locksley."
"Do you have his number?"
Regina nodded. "I have his work number."
"Give him a call him at work."
"But will he want to talk to me? It's been three weeks."
"Well, you probably hurt his pride a little bit, but I'm sure if you guys hit it off like you say you did, he'll probably forgive you. I wouldn't wait much longer, though."
It was then Emma turned her attention to her meal, leaving Regina with her thoughts. Regina had made the decision to call Robin days before, but it was being there in Denver, at the hospital with Emma and Neal, watching their relationship and how close they were, how much he worshiped and loved her, that solidified her decision. Not every man was going to be like Daniel. Because there were men out there like her father and Neal… and Robin... who gave her hope that love could be something more than control and weakness.
She just hoped it wasn't too late.
"It's stuck."
Robin looked up from the first core sample he was just about to label with the date and location. He wasn't sure if he heard John right and asked, "It's what?"
John gave the borer another great tug and then repeated, "It's stuck. It's not coming out."
"Damn," Robin said, rising to his feet and looking up at the old oak. "It must be rotting. Let me try."
With a great snort, John began, "Right because if I can't get it, you're going to."
Robin ignored his large friend. Approaching the tree, he took hold of the instrument and tried a gentle approach at first, not wanting to damage the sample they'd drilled, but if they couldn't get it out they wouldn't have a sample anyways.
"Alright, watch out," Robin said. John moved from behind him to his side, and Robin kicked a leg up bracing it against the tree then pulled with all his might. Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, he felt it begin to give, so he pulled harder and it was on that last tug back he felt himself slipping a little too late.
The borer gave way, and so did his footing. The slick fresh snow carried him down a small incline and over a small ten-foot cliff. Robin rolled and crashed into shrubs, and only stopped when his back impacted against an old fallen pine. His head was ringing, and when he opened his eyes, there were small bursts of light all around, but it was nothing compared to the sharp cutting pain in his arm. He tried not to cry out but it was impossible.
Somewhere he could hear John's frantic shouts calling his name. He tried to sit up, but every move had his teeth gnashing together as pain like nothing he'd ever felt before seared through him. He was pretty sure he had dislocated his shoulder.
"Holy shit, Robin," John said, coming to a stop beside him. "Aw, hell, don't move."
There was something in John's look that told Robin it was more than just a dislocated shoulder. "What is it?" he managed to bite out.
"Your arm's cut pretty bad." The large man removed his coat, and then his flannel shirt. Taking out his pocketknife, he began to cut the fabric, tearing it into one long strip. Robin watched him with half lidded eyes. His chest rising and falling with painful breath, the fall knocking the wind straight out of him. Kneeling down beside him once again, John told him, "Alright, this is probably going to hurt but I've got to stop this bleeding"
Robin's head fell back against the tree. "Just do it."
Standing outside Regina pulled her coat tightly around herself. Pushing her hair behind her ears, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, fingers nervously pulling up the number she stored a few days before.
She licked her lips, pushed on his number and brought it to her ear. As it began to ring she couldn't help the butterflies that erupted in her belly, but then as it rang and rang and rang, her heart fell, and then it was his voice, a recording on his voicemail informing the caller he wasn't in but to leave a message and he would call back at his earliest convenience.
There was a beep, and she opened her mouth but her words stuck. What if he didn't want to hear from her. God, she couldn't keep doing this to herself. She needed to say something, anything and soon. "Hi, Robin. It's… it's Regina. I know it's been a while… I'll try calling you back later."