"The boss gives you options – you can rent your own place, or you can stay in the hideout," said Rocco, as he escorted Harley and Henderson down the hall. "Staying in the hideout is rent free, but sometimes the accommodation ain't as nice," he said, gesturing to the flickering lightbulbs overhead and the peeling wallpaper. "Still, a lotta the guys prefer to save the money, and it's handy to be close by in case the boss needs you on short notice. The boys usually share rooms, but the boss has said you can have your own," he said, nodding at Harley. "Henshaw, you'll be rooming with me, unless you want your own place."
"Nah, I ain't picky," replied Henderson.
"What about you, Harley?" asked Rocco, opening the door to a room, which consisted of a mattress on the floor, a chair, a small table, and a bathroom about the size of a closet, barely large enough to fit a toilet and a shower. "This good, or do you wanna find your own place?"
"This'll suit me fine," replied Harley, putting down her bag.
"Great. We don't really have any rules here – just be ready in case the boss needs you on short notice," said Rocco. "Always have your phones on and charged. Otherwise your free time is yours, to spend how you wanna, no questions asked. So, y'know, if you wanna visit your boyfriend, you still can…"
"I don't have a boyfriend," retorted Harley.
"Oh. Sorry," said Rocco, surprised. "I just assumed…pretty young girl like you…" He trailed off. "Sorry, none of my business," he repeated. "Don't tell the boss I asked…I didn't mean it as an 'I'm interested' sorta thing, because I ain't…got a daughter about your age, and it wouldn't be right…at least, I think she's about your age, because you look young…not that I can tell just by looking at you…not that I have been looking at you..."
"Don't worry, Rocco," said Harley, unable to suppress a smile. "I won't tell him."
He nodded. "Well, you need anything, you let me know. I'm gonna show Ernie his new digs," he said, shutting the door and leaving with Henderson.
Harley looked around at the shabby room, thinking that it was better than some of the places she had stayed in while putting herself through medical school. She began unpacking when there was a knock on her door.
"Come in," she said.
Henderson entered. "Come to try to talk me out of staying?" she asked. "Because you're wasting your breath."
"Even if you're determined to stay in the gang, why are you staying here?" asked Henderson, gesturing around. "This is a building full of the worst kinds of men…"
"And there's a lock on the door," retorted Harley. "Anyway, you heard what the Joker said."
"And you believe him?" demanded Henderson.
"What did I tell you, Ernie?" she asked. "He's always serious about his jokes. And he thinks Harley Quinn is a pretty good joke right now. He's not going to let anyone ruin it. Anyway, this way we can keep an eye on each other."
"You being here doubles our chances of getting caught, you know that, don't you?" demanded Henderson.
"Doncha trust me?" asked Harley, glaring at him. "After I just saved you in that trap, I'd think you could have some faith in my abilities not to blow this whole operation."
Henderson was silent. "I'm grateful for that," he murmured. "But I just don't want anything to happen to you, Harley. I can't bear the thought of you being hurt."
"I can handle myself," she replied, firmly. "You have to trust me, Ernie."
There was another knock on her door, and Harley went to open it. She was surprised to see the Joker standing there. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything?" he asked, noticing Henderson.
"No," said Henderson, hastily, standing up. "Just came to see how Harley was settling in. I'll go now," he said, giving her a concerned look and leaving.
"I do hope there's not a blossoming romance in my ranks," said Joker, smiling at her as he sat down on the chair.
"Would that be a problem?" asked Harley, keeping her expression neutral.
"Yes," retorted Joker. "It's important for my lackeys to get along, but it's also important for them to realize that they're all expendable. And that if one needs to be left behind or sacrificed, that's all part of the job. If there was some depth of feeling between the people who worked for me, that might make that aspect of henching difficult. And I don't like unnecessary difficulties."
"I wouldn't worry about that, sir," replied Harley. "I don't have any interest in Henshaw. Or anyone."
"Good," he said, lightly. "Because what I said to the boys goes both ways. I don't want you bothering them either. This is a job, not a social club. Not that I think you're that type of girl," he added, chuckling.
"What type of girl do you think I am?" she asked.
"An interesting one," he said, leaning back. "That's why I'm here. I liked what you said about why you wanted to join, and I was hoping you'd survive the test," he said, grinning. "I wanted to know more about you. What kind of doctor were you?"
"A psychiatrist," she replied.
"Really? Ever worked at Arkham?" he asked. She shook her head, and he chuckled. "That's good – I thought I would have remembered someone like you. Anyway, you wouldn't have fit in there. The Docs there got no imagination, no sense of humor."
"Maybe they just don't think you killing them is funny," replied Harley.
"No sense of humor, like I said," he agreed, nodding. "So you were a shrink who read about me and decided she liked what she read about my lifestyle. And the killing and breaking the law…that doesn't bother you?"
Harley shrugged. "I doubt there's anyone alive who hasn't broken the law in some way, big or small. The law is inflexible – life isn't. If we follow the rules all the time, we'll never be happy. And I've…spent my whole life being unhappy, abstaining from all amusement and fun in order to study and work. If I'd lived like that for a second longer…I would've gone crazy."
He nodded. "Yeah, it makes sense to me, toots. Which is odd in a shrink – normally I think they're the ones who need their heads examined!" he laughed. "It's a nice change – usually the people who join up with me are thick or desperate or down on their luck, but it's nice to have someone who wanted to join because…she wants to have a little fun."
"Well, isn't that why you're a criminal?" asked Harley. "Because you think it's fun? That's what I've read, anyway."
He shook his head. "I don't think it's fun – it is fun. If you do it right, which I always do. I mean, Batman's a criminal too, but he's clearly not having any fun with the whole thing, and I think that's a shame. Sometimes I just commit crimes to try to put a smile on his miserable face – he's always so gloomy!"
"What's the deal with you and Batman?" asked Harley.
"Deal?" he repeated, puzzled. "I dunno that there is a deal. I cause trouble, he shows up, we have some laughs and the game starts all over again. It's nice to have someone to depend on like that, y'know? Someone you know is never gonna let you down. And Batsy never does. He never fails."
"He ruins your schemes," pointed out Harley.
Joker shrugged. "Sometimes I want him to. It's all part of the game. He sees himself as some all-powerful superhero, but I could kill him in a second by shooting him in the head if I really wanted to. But I don't. And that's the joke."
Harley nodded, sitting down on her bed. "Do you often talk with your lackeys casually like this?" she asked.
He shrugged again. "I like to know some things about the people who work for me – it can be useful. And I figure it's only fair they know some things about me. Not that I really need to tell you anything, since you've done your homework on me," he added, grinning.
"There are some things I don't know," she admitted. "Some things nobody knows."
"Probably not even me!" chuckled Joker. "Anyway, you don't learn a lot about people by talking to them, that's what the shrinks don't seem to understand."
"How do you learn about them?" asked Harley.
"By watching their actions," he replied. "That's why I make everyone who wants to join up with me pass that test. I like to see how they react. Some people just panic and cry, and it's no loss that they don't survive. But some people, when they're backed into a tight spot like that, use their brains and come out fighting. And they're the ones I want working for me. People can say a lotta things, but you only find out who they really are when it comes down to the nitty gritty. That's how you separate the men from the boys. Or the women from the girls, if you want me to be PC," he added, nodding at her.
"I don't mind," she retorted. "I don't want any special treatment here just because I'm a woman. Although I do appreciate the private room," she added.
"Well, you don't wanna mingle with the guys in the shower and stuff," said Joker. "Seeing some of 'em naked might put you off men forever!" he chuckled. "And I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't like it."
"I don't have a boyfriend," repeated Harley.
"Good," he said, standing up. "I prefer my people to be unattached. For the same reasons I don't like my lackeys being that close – I don't wanna have to take care of a lot of angry relatives and lovers if something goes wrong on an operation."
"You don't need to worry about that, sir," she replied. "I'm fully aware that I'm expendable. I don't have anyone to go back to in my old life, and I'm eager to start my new one, however brief it might be. It would be better than the long and lingering death of boredom that waited for me in my old life."
He smiled. "I like a girl who knows her own worth," he said, tilting her chin up. "Don't you worry, Harley Quinn. You'll have some fun before you die, I promise."
He patted her cheek and then left. Harley watched him leave, then pulled a notebook out of her bag and began writing.