Chapter Four: Beer is Proof
AN: So sorry if you've gotten a thousand update notifications. For the ... one person who reads this. Heh.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
The warm glow of the drawing room fireplace delightedly danced, casting a flickering golden glow on the boisterous card game taking place upon its hearth.
Remus was laughing, his eyes reflected the gold light, highlighting the hazel flecks as he leaned forwards to a giggling Tonks. He plucked a card from her grip and flipped it around as a few thumps muffled by the closed double doors pounded its way into existence.
Remus' laughter subsided until an expectant smile remained as he, Harry, and Tonks turned towards the door.
Severus once more dramatically swept the door open, surveying the room with a quick calculating glance. He held a tea tray in his hands.
Fred, George, Charlie, Ginny, and Ron looked up towards their Professor warily from a game of wizard chess.
They stared at him, or rather the tea tray he held.
Bill and Fluer hardly looked up from their softly glowing corner by the Christmas tree.
Arthur had his arms hugging Molly, his eyes closed and a contented smile playing his features while his wife hummed along to Christmas music. It was playing on the antiquated radio that Hermione had enchanted a few days ago to get reception from both muggle and wizard stations. It was an early present to the Weasley parents.
Severus watched with distain as Sirius and Hermione stumbled and swayed up the stairs- carefully masking his concern for the placement of the scruffy smiling mans hands upon the dizzy girl.
His anger at Black had not dispersed but was suppressed, and Hermione's attempt at explaining their situation had- for now- placated him.
She was quite reliable in that area, he thought. She wasn't tromping off with the most recent paramour of her attentions on a regular basis- or on any basis at all, despite the Krum incident in forth year. If he remembered correctly—it was very low on his priority list which was exceedingly long.
The stern Professor did not intentionally seek out this pseudo information, it was nigh thrust upon him at staff meetings in the teachers' lounge area.
Which, in his sneering opinion, was an incredibly frivolous waste of time. He only entered and attended when it was required. By the Headmaster. Who would blackmail him.
Sirius and Hermione came into the room and Severus shut the door with his foot to keep the heat in, making his way to the tea table without making eye contact with any of the watchful people in the room.
Instead falling to a favorite defense mechanism by inspecting the wall treatments.
Hideous. Nevermind.
He changed his view to the tea kettle before flicking his gaze once more at the two.
Remus shook his head and shared a secretive smile with Tonks, who was looking rather pleased at the sight in her peripheral vision of Sirius setting Hermione down on the recently reupholstered love seat.
Severus poured a cup of tea for Hermione, and turned to the only available seating area in the room- which, much to his chagrin was now occupied.
Ron piqued up with a "She alright then?"
"I'm just a bit dizzy Ron-"
"I need to monitor her condition as the anti-poison takes effect- hopefully Miss. Granger will not suddenly lose her vision and sense of touch over the next hour and a half."
He cut off whatever she was going to continue to say with a scathing comment that managed to silkily condemn the actions of the twins while fitting as much apathy as humanly possible into the sentence.
Fred and George looked at each other, a tentative scoff on their faces. "Psh- what poison?"
Ginny was rather unwilling to admit any guilty part in the prank that went a little wonky, and looked down at the chess table determinedly avoiding a certain overbearing gaze.
Snape wasn't hesitant about confronting the idiotic Weasels on their ill thought out practical joke, but was stalled from a direct accusation by a hand upon the long folds of his over robe.
"I certainly wasn't poisoned Professor Snape, it was probably a reaction I had to the cider. I'm not used to it."
Snape pressed his lips together. She was obviously lying, and she obviously knew that something had gone wrong.
Snape, along with gaining a grudging tolerant acceptance, somewhat resembling a 'liking' of the girl - from a slight admiration of her mind- had also gained what he considered an undeserved amount of respect.
A small, tiny, miniscule measure of respect from Severus Snape.
Not that he would ever show it, for she did things which irritated him in an uncommon degree more so practically for what she was and how she acted rather than who she was.
He reached out his arm that held the cup and the plate aloft in the air for her to easily reach. Sirius had left her, before Snape had held out the steaming tea, with a signature smile, and had gone talk with Remus, Tonks and Harry. The three were looking rather amused at the entire ordeal.
"The room is conjuration resistant so as to prevent any affable or brightly colored furniture to 'dare' enter, but you are welcome to share a seat with me, if you'd like." Hermione was smiling welcomingly, although her eyes were a bit unfocused.
The sour man knew that he would have to make a quick decision: to prevent himself from looking like a fool and be subjected to the proximity of the naive Miss. Hermione Granger, or conjure a less than adequate seat for himself and risk triggering alarms.
He couldn't hesitate for too long, and the House of Black were infamous for their domestic spells… he may have to tell her that it wasn't exactly furniture the Black family did not want conjured.
Without the time to properly psycho and socio analyze his decision he gracefully seated himself upon the deep red and black striped cushion, his arms crossed in his normal fashion.
The Weasley adolescents had turned back to their game, a hush taking over their conversation. Ginny was speaking hurriedly, explanative hand motions flailing about and Fred and George continued their faces of tentative pride.
Severus continued to eye them with a dark gleam. Hermione breathed in the steam of her tea and sighed lightly. "You brewed the tea well. The only other tea I love this much is Chamomile and Peppermint. With a bit of lemon, it's divine."
"I'm glad you are enjoying it." He said indifferently, although feeling a tinge of warmth in the fact she complemented him on brewing her favorite tea.
It was nice of someone to mention it once in a while. Recognition was never necessary, but it was … on occasion nice. Naturally Severus was quick to discount this.
Obviously he was good at brewing things, the silly chit.
He curbed his barbed tongue. She was, after-all, under the influence of heady stuff and she was sincere.
"I am not incompetent when it comes to brewing, although I suspect you run into incompetence quite often." He gave her a sidelong glance with a raised eyebrow and concentrated on keeping his body weight shifted so that the lines of their body did not meet.
Hermione shrugged as she sipped. "It's not often that others brew the tea besides Molly and she tends to… boil for a bit too long, too hot. Do like blended herbal teas?"
She didn't look at him while she spoke. She was concentrated on softly setting the porcelain cup on the plate, the line in between her eyebrows indicating her concentration and beleing her discomfort in the effort it required.
"It is usually the black teas that I favor, with an additive of spearmint. Green tea is fine plain as well." Severus blinked after he finished his reply.
Was he actually carrying on 'small talk'?
About tea?
Quickly he remembered he was going to tell her about the other reasons the room would be conjuration resistant.
"The conjuration wards in the room were not specifically designed to keep furniture out. The Blacks had other reasons."
Hermione nodded. "Of course- there are so many artifacts that it would be hard to completely proof everything from unwanted 'attachments.' What I don't understand is why the neglect of blocking evocation? It is just as susceptible to attacks as conjuration if not more so. Also, healing is a form of conjuration. It would make more sense-"
Snape gave a slight twist of his head. "You are correct, however you are forgetting that evocation is mostly rune based."
She frowned. "Of course it's runic. Though runes are symbols with power, and with the correct enchantment, items would be just as susceptible."
Severus smirked, and lightly raised one brow. "Are you familiar with the work of Firebead?"
Hermione was mid sip as her eyes widened in affirmation. She swallowed and said "Oh, yes. Ah, of course! It makes sense now, reactive versus permanent deactivation. I wonder if those wards are accessible… though the question would be how to get to them because they should by nature be accessible…" She mused, glancing around the room.
He briefly thought about how they would have designed it.
Perhaps waiting around wouldn't be so truly awful.
His gaze returned to the corner of fervid glances hushed tones and red hair.
His smirk faded. Perhaps not.
Charlie's face was drawn into one of disappointment, with his brow furrowed and his jaw set at a stubborn angle, he looked at his younger siblings after saying a few words.
The twins faces looked abashed for a millisecond before they sprang up in tandem shouting "Hermione!" -effectively startling the groups and couples into attention to the private drama of Gred and Feorge.
"Hermione!" They said as they came upon her on bended knee and thoroughly moony expressions.
"Our love!" Said Fred, a hand to his heart in a most sincere fashion.
"Our precious bewitched… erm-" Began George with two hands to his chest, he looked lost and tapped his fingers on his chest looking at Hermione blankly.
"Uh…Flower!" Fred finished and flourished his hand.
"Forgive us!" They said and bowed their heads.
Hermione was giggling and trying to smother her smile. Severus looked absolutely appalled at the ridiculous display of behavior. His reaction apparently made it all the more funny for most of the people in the room began raucously laughing.
George looked up "We- erm- miscalculated." He stated sheepishly.
Severus narrowed his eyes and curled his lip but his reply of "Obviously-" was sufficiently drowned out with Fred's deep wail.
Fred covered his eyes with his forearm "A grievous mistake that we shall never make again!"
George reached towards her hand, she gave it, and he pressed a loud kiss on the top of her hand. Fred looked up just in time to see George remove his face from her hand with an exaggerated face of solemnity.
"Oy! How come youget to kiss her?"
George continued to look innocent and raised his eyebrows in question. "Because I'm better looking?"
Hermione was having spasms at this point and was struggling to contain her giggles. Snape eyed the cup of hot liquid, sensing danger, as it was precariously balancing in her hand. He gently wedged it from her grasp.
Fred scoffed "Ha! You wish." He reached out his hand with a raised eyebrow and a debonair tilt to his head, "M'Lady?" He purred. Hermione gave her unoccupied dactyls that were just previously holding a tea cup over with a burst of laughter.
George renewed his efforts adding 'mwah' sounds and horrible French that was probably 'mustard' or some other nonsense. Both the twins kissed her hands repetitively, with obnoxious pecking sounds going up her wrist and arms, turning her hands over to get to her fingers and forearms.
Severus bored holes into their heads with his mind. 'Moronic buffoons.' He thought at them nastily.
"Forgive us?" Fred said- a hint of seriousness played about his features and was reflected in George. The only difference was the side in which their eyebrow was cocked and a freckle on Fred's nose that had its match on George's ear.
"Of course." She said with a smile, and with that they got up and backed away bowing before going back to their game of wizard chess. Ginny caught Hermione's eye and mouthed a "Sorry."
Hermione shrugged and without a second thought reached over to the teacup Severus was holding.
Her fingers barely brushed his as she took it, and Severus released it easily. "It would have made it a bit more difficult on them if you said something earlier."
"Utterly irrelevant."
Sirius came upon them. "Didn't like the show then?" He said with a grin, seating himself on the floor and leaning his back on the loveseat.
Severus had reverted to crossed arms and a sour expression. "It was abhorrent." He said with exactness.
"Aren't you bored sitting all the way over here?"
Hermione shook her head sipping her tea again. "No. Professor Snape provides excellent conversation."
Sirius looked up at her "Not interested in a game at all?"
"Not particularly. But perhaps Profess-"
"No."
Sirius had a considering twinkle in his eye "Ah now, you wouldn't be… intimidated about a little competition… now would you?"
Severus narrowed his eyes at the smiling dog.
"I will not fall for your parlor tricks."
Sirius feigned hurt. "Who said my tricks were of parlor quality?"
Hermione smirked into her cup. She knew- for all accounts of how good a wizard that Snape was- he had an ego. It was prodigal and abundant, she had decided a long time ago, but by no means was it stable or able to suffer remarks despite his emotional discipline. Sirius, on the other hand was quite egotistic and quite languidly secure in his self, but was easily angered.
It was basically the same as putting two reactive ingredients into a cauldron that unerringly fed off the other.
Sirius continued with raised eyebrows and a lopsided wolfish grin "We…could make it more interesting."
Severus raised his right eyebrow extraordinarily high and turned his head very slowly towards Sirius, who was looking for all the world like nothing was going on. Like he hadn't just pulled the Dragons tail.
He made a good show of enjoying the faint Christmas music playing from the radio enchanted by Hermione. He thought it was a very good present.
"Ask me when my judgment is impaired in some irrevocable way."
Sirius shrugged and turned to Hermione who was readjusting herself in a more comfy position by snuggling into the cushions and drawing her legs up, effectively curling herself up like a cat. Unfortunately for Severus this meant her hip was touching him, and so was her arm and shoulder and her hair was curling its tendrils wickedly upon his shoulders and she was still wearing that thrice be-damned skirt!
Sirius was having a hard time as well dealing with Hermiones new found position. Her skirt had made a curious, darkly shadowed tent and Sirius knew all he had to
Sirius raised his eyebrows and met Severus eyes, which were hooded.
"Hmm…" Began Sirius, rubbing the scruff on his chin.
Severus remained silent.
Hermione took another drink and neither of the men spoke. Laughter once again rose from the hearth of the fire where the card game was still going strong, and Ron's groan and Charlie's reassurances from the chess side of the room filled the room with sound.
Hermione spoke in a soft tone. "It wouldn't be so bad if you played a game against one another."
Sirius sat still, not making any attempt of eye contact or encouragement. The charmed alcohol level in his blood that made him precocious and impulsive was weakening.
Severus tried to shrug away from Hermione's growing body heat. He dismally failed.
His attempt at moving himself away resulted in a more symmetrical body line, which made it easier for Hermione to naturally gravitate towards him.
Severus pressed his lips together and his nostrils flared as Hermione settled once again- ever closer, ever more prevalent in each of his senses.
"What if I decide the challenge terms? That way you know it's not as dire as you would both have it." The bushy haired girl smiled sheepishly.
Sirius narrowed his eyes at Snape, his tone was lighthearted and prodded gently at the reluctant young woman. "Hermione? Where is your favorite place to go in muggle London?"
She looked up, her brown eyes big, dark lashes grazing the tops of her lids. "Oh! Well…there's the book shop just off of Trafalgar square and Piccadilly. It's kind of small but I used to go there all the time when Dad took me to his office. Then I would go to the Rose garden of St. Peters church to read in the sunshine."
She was safely smiling again "But I love seeing the theatres by Piccadilly at night, when everything is lit up beautifully. The fountains especially." Her eyes looked up at the vaulted ceiling as if conjuring the image of the commercial ridden circus.
She popped forward looking down at Sirius holding her teacup aloft. Severus really did try not to acknowledge the skirts rise up the leg, currently taut from holding her in balance. He tried to look away before he could see the long, smooth skin that was being showcased.
She grinned but Sirius laughed and said "No, I meant where you love to go and eat. I suppose you eat books just as voraciously as a Molly made meal."
"Oh! Dessert!" Apparently she had sat up too fast and she blinked and put the hand that wasn't holding her cup to her eye and the bridge of her nose.
"Woah-"
Snape reached out to her shoulder and with temperate force pulled her back- straight into the crook of where his chest and arm met. He tensed and froze but apparently the conversation continued as if nothing had just occurred.
Hermione settled back into her relaxed position and continued with Sirius, "No I don't really have a favorite place to eat in London. But I've always wanted to go to the Promenade."
Sirius crossed his arms behind his head, closed his eyes and leaned backwards down to the floor, taking in her smile and change in demeanor.
He didn't see that Snape had gently pulled her back, and was now internally fretting away at the fact that Hermione was drawn to his touch and warmth almost unconsciously.
Not that any of this showed on Severus' face. He was in the practice of schooling his features far too often to let some girl that smelled nice have any effect on him what so ever.
"Ahhh, yes. The Promenade…" He chuckled in a manly way. It was that manly chuckle men only get when they are feeling particularly masculine and deserving of testosterone.
"It was when James, Remus and I all got piss drunk and foisted that rat bastard Peter the duty of covering our asses. We painted the town red, blue and whatever other color you could think of when we decided to saunter into the Promenade." Sirius waggled his eyebrows, and his devil may care signature grin came back with a vengeance.
"Ahh the good ol' days."
He pulled himself up with ease into a sit-up. The off place buttons and their holes created gaps, his tattoos and trail of hair showing beneath.
Severus was silently raging against the girls' hair- Did she not know how to control it? It was everywhere, curling on his shoulder and chest and she wasn't even pressed against him! Well, she was far too close, but it wasn't like she tossed her hair back upon him- did she have no idea what she was doing? Once again!
"I'd have to say…the alcohol there was fantastic. Food, I'm not so sure." Sirius closed his eyes smiling.
Severus resisted an all too tempting scathing comment, because he did not particularly want to draw attention to himself for any reason- mostly to the fact that Hermi- Miss. Granger was snuggling into him.
Sirius clapped his hands. "Alright! Here's what's going to happen. I need your help Miss. Granger!" She scotched forward eager to be of help.
Severus was looking quite sharply at her although he was glad to be rid of her wicked, wicked hair.
Sirius pointed at Severus. "Arch Nemesis. I formally challenge you to a duel of wit and tactics! A game! If you deny you are forfeit the price of the loser."
The room was once more focused on Sirius and Severus. Snape sneered. "I think not."
Hermione looked perplexed. "What do I have to do with any of this."
"You're our wager master. You hold us to the bargain."
She cocked her head. "Like a second at a duel?"
Snape squeezed his eyes shut. The hour was officially past awful. "No, nothing like that. You are a fool to make it such a childish and binding declaration."
"Not at all." Sirius stated.
He held out his hand a challenge in his eye. Severus looked at his hand. He was tired of making promises. Being bound to them.
He clenched his jaw tightly.
This however, this was something that he couldn't let go. He grasped his hand.
"Challenge accepted."
Dun dun dun! Is it bad that I already have another story lined up around this one?