A/N: This one... also turned out unexpectedly well, given how off-the-bat I wrote it. (I came up with the basic premise on the 9th, but didn't write it until last night.) But again. The exorcists' interactions with the Science Department. Maybe I should do a thing...

Thank you to waterlit, karina001, Word eclipse, RMXStudio, and guest for reviewing!

Title: Conundrum

Author: liketolaugh

Rating: T

Pairings: None

Genre: Friendship/Angst

Warnings: None

Summary: For the 220th night countdown run by lenaleelee17 on Tumblr. Day 1: Favorite Character.

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.

Day 4: Exorcists

Komui hadn't expected this.

He'd expected a lot of things when he'd joined the Order, not least of which was the ever-present worry that his precious sister had died long before he'd gotten there. He'd expected to be worried about her all the time, and he'd expected all the death all around them, and he'd even expected the long, sleepless nights spent working and the desperation that drove that work.

But he hadn't expected to come to lead the European Branch of the Order. He hadn't expected to know every exorcist by name. He hadn't expected to begin to worry about each and every one of them.

That didn't keep it from happening, though.

It didn't stop him from worrying about Lenalee, and how many things could happen while he wasn't watching her, worrying about how worried she'd be for her friends and wondering how far she'd go to save them. Wondering if she'd give up her own life, no, knowing she would.

Didn't stop him from worrying about Kanda, who was too bitter and too angry and far, far too reckless with himself and his health, healing powers or no.

And then there was Allen, who didn't seem to care about his own life at all, who was everyone's friend and who Komui secretly worried about almost as much as Lenalee, because he was as reckless as Kanda but without the healing powers. Who might be suicidal and was certainly depressed, though to what level Komui had no idea, and whose first priority was everyone and everything except himself.

There was Miranda, who tried too hard to help sometimes, without a care to her own health. There was Marie, going in literally blind, and keeping an ear and a half on everyone else. Krory, also reckless, and so naive that it hurt. Timothy, who was painfully young, almost as young as Lenalee had been, and who learned too quickly what he'd gotten himself into.

Even the generals, Komui couldn't help but fret over. Cross didn't seem to care a bit about his own health. Nyne was defenseless when she sent Lau Jimin off to fight. Zokalo sometimes seemed to be actively trying to get himself killed. Tiedoll cared far, far too much.

And every single one of them stood defiantly, every day, against impossible odds, a single exorcist against tens, hundreds, thousands of akuma, against Noah with unimaginable powers, against humanity itself at times.

Someday, Komui knew that each of them would stop coming out on top, would fall to an absurdly strong akuma or a Noah with a grudge or even a bit of bad luck, and they wouldn't come home.

Someday, Komui would send Marie on a mission, and he wouldn't return. He would ask Allen to fight, and never see him again. He would ask General Tiedoll to check something out, and next see him as a pile of dust and an empty coat.

Someday, he'd hug his sister goodbye, and it would be the last time.

Komui had expected a lot of things when he joined the Order, but he hadn't expected how much he would start to care.

He hadn't realized that it was impossible not to care about them, the exorcists. But it was. It really was.

And that. *decisive nod* After Protective!Kanda, Fretting!Komui is also one of my favorite things in DGM. *smile* Thanks for reading, and please review!