Chapter 3: Anguish

Yes, I know…it's been a while since I've updated. Hiatus is a bitch, isn't it? Well, hopefully after you read this extra long chapter, you'll forgive me. Hope you like!

Chapter 3: Anguish

It was Wednesday. Where would they be on a Wednesday night? Ayumi racked her brain for an answer. It had been so long now, she could barely remember. Nine o' clock on a Wednesday night…

Night…a night club. That's it! She snapped her fingers.

There was always that one night club they'd go to on Wednesday nights. Luckily, it was only a block or so from their apartment (its convenience in location was one of the main reasons they went, other than the cheap booze and good music). Hopefully, she'd find them there. There was no way they'd be home, for if she knew Matt and Mello at all, when they were worried they'd go out for a drive, or for a drink, or anything to keep themselves from falling into despair.

With them under the impression that Ayumi was missing and possibly dead and the club being so close, the chances of them being there were so good, it was scary.

Right before she started looking for the nightclub, Ayumi had gone by her own apartment and snagged a pair of flip-flops and a jacket she'd nicked from Mello once and hadn't given back, since she was only dressed in her nightgown (gets a bit drafty after a while). She wondered why he never asked for it before.

Something else came to mind as she was walking away from her building. Why was her room a mess? More importantly, why were her panties scattered all over her bedroom floor?

Jasdebi did it.

Ayumi gasped, skidding to a halt on the corner. "What?"

"Huh?" a man beside her looked at her.

"Oh, nothing. Thought I heard something." She replied.

Once way was clear, Ayumi stared straight ahead, walking to the next block. What was that? It sounded like Road…

That's because it was me, silly.

This time, Ayumi didn't gasp, but nearly tripped over a discarded beer can lying near a trash can. How are you talking to me like this? Are Noah telepathic too?

In a sense, yeah. We used to talk to akuma like this, but since we were recreated, we've only been using it to talk to each other at great distances. But getting back to what you were thinking before, Jasdebi messed up your room when we sent them to go find you some clean clothes.

Ayumi's eyebrow twitched. Why did you send them to do it? Why didn't you go?

They already had your house key.

This was starting to bother her. From what she could tell, both of those two weird Noah were boys. You know, they went through my underwear drawer.

… Road paused a moment. Ayumi assumed she was asking Jasdebi about it. They said they didn't know where to look, so they looked everywhere.

Okay, okay…forget about it. As long as I don't find either of them with a pair of my panties, I'll forgive them.

Good luck finding your friends.

Ayumi let herself smile. Thanks, Road.

She felt like was getting used to the idea of being a part of the Noah family.

Up ahead, a neon sign glowed…The Love Shack. A cliché name for a club, but cheap booze and good music made up for what it lacked, Ayumi assumed. Now for the hard part…how was she going to get in?

A back door. There was a back door to every club, so all she had to do was find the back door to this one and just hope to God that there was no one else on the other side of it.

"Hey barkeep, pass another two shots of Vodka this way."

"Mel…I think we've had enough."

The scarred blonde bit back the urge to say the typical "I'll tell you when I've had enough" line and instead gave Matt the "I'll tell you when I've had enough" look. Matt sighed and reluctantly snagged the shot glass as it was passed to him. Forgetting himself, he sipped the shot in a very un-bar like manner.

"What are you, a pussy?" Mello growled at him, "Slug the thing down like before!"

The redhead gave him a sideglance. "I don't feel like getting drunk off my ass right now, man."

"Look, Matt," Mello set down his glass, "I know that this whole thing is getting to you, it's getting to me too, but we're running out of ideas, here. We've thought up every idea of where Ayumi could be that we could think of, and every time it's lead us to a dead end."

Matt didn't reply.

"We've been running around like this for weeks. We need a break. And besides, we're within walking distance of our place, so it's forgivable to get shitfaced."

"Sounds like you're about ready to give up, Mel."

Mello's eyes narrowed. "I didn't say that. I'm just saying that if we don't take a breather, we'll end up crashing at the wrong moment. Think about it…what would happen if we just dropped dead right there in the street, and she's only a couple of feet away?"

Matt sighed again. "We'd miss our chance."

"Exactly. So, come on, slug that bad boy down. We'll find her."

The two looked at each other. Then they brought up their shot glasses, clinked them, and downed them at the same exact time. They smiled at each other as they ordered another.

Finally, after about ten shots apiece, Matt got up. "Gotta take a piss, man. Vodka went right through me that time."

He slid off the barstool and ambled through the crowd to the restroom.

At the same time, Ayumi wandered into the room from the back. It was a miracle that no one had noticed her yet. She looked around her, scanning the crowd for the blonde and redhead duo. Hopefully, they were dressed as per usual…leather and stripes.

This is weird, she thought, it's almost as if no one else can see me…like my parents and Yuri…

That notion made her shiver unpleasantly. What if Matt and Mello didn't notice her either? How would she get them to see her? She started to move through the crowds, eyes alert, hands clenched in anxious fists. Maybe, just maybe, if they didn't see her, they'd at least recognize the jacket.

Suddenly, a flash of golden caught her eye. It came from the bar at the other end of the room. Her heart swelled with relief when she recognized the scarred ex-mafia man himself slugging down another shot of Vodka. She started towards him. People in the crowd danced and twirled around her as if she were merely a ghost or a mirage (or possibly an alcohol induced hallucination). When Ayumi came to the end of the room where the bar was, she stopped at the unoccupied corner barstool and glanced at the mirror behind the counter. Her eyes widened in shock when she realized that she had left her forehead uncovered. Her holy mark was there for everyone to see.

She side-glanced at Mello. He's somewhat religious, isn't he? Maybe he won't be as surprised by it…

Mello glanced over in her direction. Ayumi turned and faced him all the way, rooted to her spot. Did he see her?

He looked right through her at the restroom sign that was behind her to see if Matt had come out yet. All he could see was a blur inbetween him and the restrooms, a sight he waved off as a sign that he'd drunken too much.

Ayumi's heart fell into her stomach. He still can't see me.

Meanwhile, Matt stumbled out of the men's room. He too could see this blur when he looked in Mello's direction. He mumbled to himself, "Knew I should've quit while I was ahead…damn Mello, had to sweet talk me into drinking more."

Ayumi whirled around to see Matt standing right behind her, leaning on the barstool as he spoke. "M-Matt?"

The redhead blinked, looking up again. The blur had gotten worse. It almost seemed…closer now. What the hell? Had the bartender spiked his drink? He could've sworn that he'd heard someone say his name. It sure as hell wasn't Mello. Mello was paying the bill, and furthermore, it was a girl's voice.

"Can you hear me, Matt?" Ayumi waved a hand in his face, "Matt?"

Matt took off his goggles and rubbed his eyes. "Shit…I must be drunker than I thought. Lemme go see if my pupils are dilated."

He turned on his heel and started to stomp back to the men's room. Ayumi followed him, now more anxious than ever. He could hear her. Now she just had to make him see her. But wait…he was about to go into the men's room! She couldn't follow him in there! As Matt went to push the door open, Ayumi's hand shot out and grabbed his arm.

"Matt!"

He jumped upon feeling someone touch him, then jumped again when he saw who it was. His eyes doubled in size and he couldn't speak. Then, when he thought he could get a word or two out, Ayumi jumped on him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You can see me!" she cried.

The force of it caused Matt to stumble backward and hit his head on the wall behind them.

"Fuck!" he shouted, the pain rushing to the spot on the back of his skull.

Mello looked upon hearing the all-too-familiar voice curse. What was he doing? He slid off of the barstool and made his way over to the redhead.

Ayumi stepped back, loosening her grip on him. "I'm sorry, I just got so excited…oh, you have no idea how relieved I am!"

"You? You're relieved?" Matt put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her out at arm's length. "Ayumi, for God's sake, we were fucking worried! Where the hell did you go?"

Before she could answer, they both looked to see Mello coming their way.

"What, did you trip on your own feet, Matt?" the blonde still couldn't see Ayumi, "What are you doing with your arms?"

Matt looked from Ayumi to Mello in disbelief. "Are you blind or something? Can't you see her?"

"See who, your imaginary friend, here?" he smirked, playing it up as a joke.

Without thinking, Ayumi reached out and snatched up Mello's arm the same way she'd gotten Matt's. The smirk faded quickly and was replaced by a gaping, fish-out-of-water look.

"A…Ayumi?"

"Why couldn't you see her before?" Matt looked at Mello.

"I don't know…Jesus, she just appeared right before my eyes the minute she touched me!"

"Yeah, I know, she did it to me too." They both looked at her, "how'd you do that?"

Ayumi shrugged. "I don't know. I just did it."

Mello realized that his mouth was still open. He quickly shut it, then pulled her away from Matt. "Come here, you. Fuck…we thought you were…we didn't know what to think!"

"Where did you go, Ayumi? Did someone snag you? Your parents, they—"

"I know," Ayumi nodded, "they think I'm dead."

Matt's green eyes rested on her forehead. "What is that? A tattoo?"

Mello let her go, looking as well. "…We shouldn't talk here. C'mon, let's go back to our place."

Road sat cross-legged in an armchair, chin resting in her hand, the other hand resting on her knee with her fingers tapping in a thoughtful manner. Tyki looked over at her from the book he was reading.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing…" she replied quietly, "Just checking up on Ayumi. She found her friends and got them to notice her."

"Oh. Where are they now?"

"…Walking out of the club they were in. I think they're going back to someone's place. Both of her friends seem kind of shaken."

Tyki rested the book on his leg and leaned forward. "Did she tell them yet?"

"Nuh uh."

"Then why…?"

"They probably noticed her mark," Road replied, her brow furrowing, "But also, I think they're relieved that she's okay. Hmm…they seem to care a bit more about her than her ex-family did."

"Seriously. Her parents gave up on her real quick, didn't they?"

Road shut her eyes for a moment, then opened them again, sitting back in the chair and relaxing. "I'll check back a little later."

"I can do it if you're tired, Road."

She smiled. "It's alright, Tyki."

"You think we should tell her to come back here after she's done?"

"Nah," she shook her head, "I think she'll be okay. We hardly spend time in this realm as it is, unless we're gathering for a family thing."

Tyki nodded, picking up his book again. "True, true…so, was I right or what? Ayumi is turning out to be a pretty good pick."

Road smiled slyly at the handsome Noah. "Oh, Tyki, we won't know that for sure until she starts using her powers."

He looked down at his book, unease settling on his face and in his head. They forgot to tell Ayumi what she represented as part of the Clan of Noah. But he wondered if maybe Road purposely forgot to tell her, just to see what would happen. It wasn't unlikely for her to do things like that.

I just hope Ayumi doesn't get herself in trouble like Lulubell did…he thought glumly.

Matt and Mello's apartment looked exactly the same as it did before Ayumi ran out on them. There was still that faint smell of cigarettes mixed with a chocolaty aroma…a scent that was both arousing and enough to make you gag at the same time, especially if you weren't used to it or forgot what it smelled like. The room that Matt and Mello shared was a mess of discarded clothing and mussed-up bedsheets. The spare room where Ayumi used to crash in was locked, probably collecting dust in her absence. The living room was lit only by computer screens and the floor was lined with various wires and cords.

"What's with all this?" she asked as they entered.

"What does it look like?" Mello replied, pulling his jacket off and tossing it into his room.

"We were using it to try and track you down." Matt added.

Ayumi's face fell. They went through all of this trouble? Even after…

Even after I ran out on them before all of this, after I found out what they'd done…

Matt led her to the couch, motioning for her to sit down. She complied, feeling nervous. How could she tell them about what had happened to her so that they would understand? She had no idea what she should say, and to make matters worse, Matt and Mello were towering over her like two cops trying to intimidate a witness to a crime, arms crossed and eyes locked on her (She noted that this was something she could relate to, since it had happened to her).

Her hands twisted in her lap. "Look, I can't tell you guys calmly if you're standing over me like this."

They looked at each other, then Mello nodded to Matt, backing up and sitting down in the chair at the other end of the couch. Matt sat on the couch beside Ayumi.

"Okay," Mello said, "Go ahead."

During the time it took for them to sit down, Ayumi had come up with a good way to get through to them. "Well…I suppose everything will make sense if I start from the beginning. You guys remember that time I ended up in a hotel with some guy who'd found me passed out on the street?"

Matt nodded gravely. "That was when you first saw us shoot someone and ran out of the building."

"Yeah, that time…well, you see, the man that found me kinda found me again this time, only he wasn't alone. After I ran out of my boss' office and fainted on the street, they came and got me out of there and took me to their place until I woke up."

"How many where there?" Mello interrupted.

"Four. And all four of them," she reached up and pointed to her forehead, "had this same mark on their foreheads. They called it a holy mark, the mark of the Clan of Noah." She felt a pit in her stomach. Here came the hard part…

"Clan of what?" Matt looked at her, hands clasped in his lap.

Mello sat up. "The Clan of Noah, a clan of supposed descendents from the apostle Noah. But Ayumi, the whole clan died out decades ago. How could they have come back all of a sudden?"

"They were recreated," she answered almost immediately, not realizing that she even knew that until it was spilling out of her mouth, "and they picked me to replace another one, because…"

Both boys looked at her, leaning closer in expectation. "Because…?"

"…I don't know why. They never told me exactly why they killed her, but it doesn't matter now." She looked back up, "I'm…I'm a Noah now, and that's where I've been this whole time…with them."

A haunting and unnerving silence settled in after she started speaking. Ayumi looked from Mello to Matt, repeating this over and over again until she finally focused on the floor. They didn't look like they believed her. They didn't even look like they didn't believe her, but it seemed as if they were trying to figure it all out.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

Matt ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know…this all seems like too much…"

"But why would they pick you to replace this other Noah?" Mello stood up, coming closer to the couch.

"I don't know why. Maybe it was because I'd met one of them before. They said I was the right age and was healthy enough, but that doesn't give me much to go on."

"Well," Matt reached over to grab the phone, "what really matters is that you're alive, so I think we should call your parents and tell 'em to quit thinking you're dead."

"No, don't bother."

His hand froze midway. "Huh?"

"They think I'm dead, and it's gonna stay that way until they forget about me altogether." Ayumi told him, "Everyone else that knew me before I became a Noah has already forgotten that I ever existed."

Mello's eyebrow rose. "Then how come we haven't forgotten you?"

"Because I found you guys before you could." She stood up and faced him, "Road – one of the other Noah – told me that if I could get to you guys before tomorrow, you wouldn't forget about me. That's why you didn't see me until I touched you, because you were starting to forget about me."

Matt dropped his hand, remembering the blur he saw in the club. She was the blur the whole time? He must not have been as drunk as he thought he was after all. "That's….so out there. But it makes sense, in a farfetched sort of way."

The scarred blonde shook his head. "This is too much…I'm going to go sleep this off." He started to walk towards the bedroom, "We'll continue this in the morning."

Ayumi looked at him in disbelief. "Mello, you and Matt don't believe me, do you?"

Mello stopped in front of the doorway. Matt looked up at her.

"Look at me, both of you." She clenched her fists again, "Do you really think I'd make all of this up?"

Matt didn't answer, but looked at Mello. Mello was half-turned in their direction.

"I may have seen a shinigami," he answered, "and I may have killed people with a murder notebook, but even I know the limits of the supernatural, and what you're telling us goes way out of bounds."

"How can you say that?" Ayumi's voice rose, "Do you think this is makeup I'm wearing right now?" she rubbed a hand across he forehead for emphasis, "This isn't a tattoo on my forehead, it's a holy mark! I ran out of my boss' office that day because when the mark started to come in, it bled like crazy!"

"If this is true, then where are the other 'Noah" clansmen you mentioned? Why aren't they here?"

"Mello…" Matt glanced at the blonde, "Lighten up a little, will you?"

"What, Matt, are you telling me that you believe this?"

He looked at the floor. "Well, I mean…I see no reason not to…"

Ayumi could hear the doubt in Matt's voice. "No, Matt, don't pretend like you're one hundred percent on my side, because I know you're not!"

"Ayumi, there's just no way to prove that any of this is true unless there's some hard evidence," he replied, "and Mello's got a point. Where are the other Noahs?"

She bit back the urge to scream. "I came her by myself because this was my problem to solve! You're my friends, not theirs! I can't make them come here because I don't know how! But you have to understand, you guys, I heard screaming in my head when I was running out of that office, my forehead was bleeding and I was in a lot of pain until it stopped, and it didn't stop for days! I was scared out of my mind, and I still am! Why the hell would I make any of this up?"

Mello turned all the way around. "You could've done it as payback for what made you run out on us in the first place, for what we did to Koichi—"

"I don't care about what happened before!" she yelled louder than intended, making both boys jump, "I don't care that Matt killed my boyfriend to save you, Mello, because it doesn't matter anymore! None of that matters anymore!"

Mello and Matt were speechless. She wouldn't forgive them for lying to her about it before, because she loved them, then said that she hated them. But now…now she didn't care?

"Ayumi…how can you say that?" Matt stood up.

"Because even if none of this had happened to me, it wouldn't change the fact that Koichi is dead, or the fact that he was going to give you to the police! Even if he weren't dead, he wouldn't remember me now, would he?" she answered wearily, as if she'd been saying it all along.

They just stared at her.

She fell back onto the couch, exhausted from shouting. She felt tears brimming in her eyes. "What was the point in coming to find you two," she mumbled, "if you weren't going to believe me?"

Matt sat back down beside her. "Ayumi chan, don't cry…"

Mello snatched a tissue from the box on the kitchen counter and came around to the couch, brushing it over Ayumi's face, saying nothing. Ayumi didn't look at him.

"…Look, I'm sorry, okay?" he said in a somewhat gruff tone, "just…quit it with the waterworks, will you? This is just a little tough to swallow. You gave us one hell of a scare."

"Yeah," Matt nodded, "Besides, what's important is that you're okay. We're relieved as fuck that you're not dead like your parents think…thought you were." He glanced at the clock. It was midnight, so her folks probably forgot about her by now.

Ayumi nodded, swallowing hard. It was the best way to stop herself from crying anymore. Then, out of the blue, she pulled off the coat she was wearing, remembering that it wasn't hers.

"Um, here," she held it out to Mello, "I, uh…think you'll want this back."

He looked at her like she was crazy. "When the hell did you get this?"

Her face tinted red with embarrassment. "I kinda stole it."

Matt almost snickered. "I think we're finally rubbing off on her, Mel."

Mello stood up straight and turned away, heading for the bedroom again. "Look, it's late, so stay here tonight. Matt, unlock the spare room for her." Then he disappeared into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Matt pulled Ayumi to her feet. "C'mon, you must be knackered after all this weird shit."

She almost smiled. "Yeah…I guess."

He pulled the spare key out of his pocket and walked over to the door, Ayumi at his back. "I don't know about you, but I really need a smoke, or I'll never get to sleep."