There are times when it pays to be of a thinner stature. When you're trying to save money by purchasing only the necessary amount of food, for example. Or when some asshole parks too close to your car and you have to shimmy yourself into the three-inch gap between door and vehicle.
Or when you have to squeeze into a skirt and a pink sparkly tee because (and I quote) "If he's going to get cooties all over my clothes I want blackmail material!"
Goddamnit Yang.
"This is stupid," I articulate for what feels like the millionth time. "This is really, really-"
"Man up and rock the shirt," Taiyang says, pulling into a parking space. "Besides, you'll only be in it for a little longer."
"Stupid," I say one last time over Ruby and Yang's giggling before I pop my belt buckle and hop out of the car. The wheels don't look like anything I've seen at home, but other than that it seems similar enough. Roughly the same number of levers, activated by a button instead of a key, but otherwise the same.
Tai leaves me alone in the store to pick out clothes. When I ask what my budget is, he just waves his hand at me.
"I make good money and this place is cheap," he says. "Pick out whatever."
I eye the price tags and start doing some mental calculations. Five lien buys a tee shirt, which costs... I don't know how many dollars at a cheap department store back home. I guess it couldn't be that easy. Figuring out the dollar-to-lien exchange rate and getting an idea of what things should cost is going to be a pain.
Tai leaves to attend to his daughters (Yang's already picking out a shirt to replace the one I "cootie-fied") as I wander among the racks of clothing, pulling out a few items that catch my eye. Some mono-colored shirts in different sizes, jeans that look about right, underwear (why are briefs for children so hard to find?) and a sweatshirt with Vale's coat of arms on the front, comfortable and easy to put on. I don't want to waste Tai's money and get something nice that I'll grow out of. I think about what my future looks like as I head to the changing rooms. Puberty is still probably a few years off-
I slap myself. Of course! That's why I didn't enjoy the romance novel! No hormones or sex drive means no hit of dopamine for imagining sexy scenes! Wow, I'm going to have to completely change my morning routine. I'm pretty sure that little kids aren't supposed to wake up at six, shower twice a day, need deodorant-
Oh shit, I'll have to go through puberty again.
I mouth as many cuss words as I can remember as I close the door to the changing room. I have no idea how Aura is going to interact with things like acne or BO. Is the bacteria close enough to my cells to become super Aura-enhanced bacteria and turn my face into a cratery mess? Does Aura contribute to autoimmune response? I don't remember any of the main cast of RWBY getting a cold but neither did any of the normal people in Teen Wolf, so it could just be an aspect of TV shows.
I push aside the potential nightmare fuel and start trying on shirts. The first one I grab fits well enough, so I check the size. I'll just get six others in different colors and call it good. I move onto the jeans. Much more important, and much harder to get right. These ones are a little loose around the leg (I wonder if the people of Remnant are just more fit?), but they don't fall to the floor after I put them on. I look at myself in the mirror.
My hair's still brown (looks like de-aging didn't re-blond me), but it's a lot longer than I'm used to, nearly shoulder length. I might have to get that cut. My face looks different. Cleaner, with more softness. It's almost like I'm a kid again. Hah.
It's the scars that get me.
I look like I've been beaten with a salted lash never healed quite right. My ribs are covered with red irregular spots, heavy on the sides and lighter towards the center. I poke one. The flesh feels warped. Like there's a divot. Like I'm missing something. The compound fractures probably. Four parallel lines run under my right arm. I twist and take a closer look. Claw marks curl around, reaching maybe three inches into my chest.
Oh.
I've spent maybe one day in Remnant and I've already been hurt worse than everyone I've ever known combined.
I cry for a bit. Not more than a minute. I don't feel better afterwards, but I do feel cleaner. Like I just vomited up something toxic and my stomach's finally settled.
After dressing in a shirt and the good-enough jeans I pick up a few more articles of clothing, track down Tai, wait for a bit while Yang picks out some clothes for Ruby, and eventually the four of us walk out of the store with new wardrobes.
"What do you need for the cake?" Tai asks once we're back in the car. Right, baking. Ruby is practically phasing through her car seat with excitement.
"Flour, sugar, baking soda and baking powder, vegetable oil, eggs, baker's chocolate, cream cheese, powdered sugar, vanilla extract, salt, and butter," I rattle off. "Oh, and cocoa powder," I add. "That one's important. Also, fruit."
"What kind?" Yang asks, turning to look at me with lilac eyes. "That's not berry specific of you."
"Strawberries!" Ruby says while I drop my head into my hands, the innocent little girl blissfully ignorant of the abuse of the English language that just occurred. Yang was punning even when she was eight. I can only try to engage on her level or simply ignore it.
"Listen Yang, take it easy with the puns," Taiyang says, easing into a turn. I feel a spark of hope within me. RWBY Chibi isn't canon, so maybe...
"After all, not everyone is pre-pear-ed for such comedy."
Tai, why do you do this? Raise my hopes, just to drag them back into the pit.
Oh no. Pit. Fruit pit. I've already been infected.
"But Dad, you're being un-raisin-able!" Yang says, smiling widely as Ruby stares at me.
"Can we please have strawberry cake?" she asks, hands tapping against her car seat. "Please please please!"
"Yes, the cake can work with strawberries," I say quickly. "Now can we please stop the puns?" I'm not sure how many more I can take before I snap.
"We don't need your persimmon," Yang says in a sing-song voice. "Besides, puns are the Xiao Long jam!
I'm in hell.
After what feels like an eternity of increasingly shitty fruit puns later (tomatoes are fruits in name only, you sick bastards!), we arrive at the grocery store. Tai grabs a cart and puts Ruby in the kiddie seat. Yang walks next to Tai, never more than an arm's length or two away. It looks idyllic, and if it wasn't for the knife to the feels when I see Tai unconsciously reach out his hand into the empty air next to him I'd almost think it was perfect.
As is, it's as intimidating as a mosh pit. Where do I fit in here?
Ruby notices me lingering behind them and motions me over towards her. I move a little closer. "Do you know any stories?" she asks.
I think back to endless hours in high school and college, cooped up in a dark corner with a book and some earbuds when the world just got too damn loud to listen to.
"A few," I answer. "What kind do you want?" I think Tai would be mad if I told a proper horror story, but maybe something with-
"Heroes!" she says, and I can practically feel Yang rolling her eyes behind me. Of course. Welp, might as well start with a classic.
"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a princess with information critical to the survival of a rebellion," I start, casting my memory back to movie nights with stale popcorn, blankets galore, and absolute silence as yellow text crawled against the speckled starfield of space.
We've gathered enough groceries to feed a small army and I've almost gotten to the introduction of Han Solo when something catches my eye.
Composition books. Pens. Pencils. An idea comes to mind.
"Hey, Tai," I say, stopping my story. Ruby whines, but Tai ignores her and looks at me.
"Hmm?" he inquires before following my gaze. "You want something to write in?" he deduces.
"If it's not too much trouble," I clarify. "Like, I'm pretty sure I can't really pay you back for anything and-"
"Don't worry about it," he says, shrugging. "What're you planning to do with them?"
"I figure I'd write down what I know," I reply. "Stories, some personal thoughts. Stuff," I shrug. I'm not a diary guy, really, but I know I could easily forget most of my Earth Prime knowledge in less than a week if I'm not careful. Best to get it all down before the sands of time wear the memories away.
"Go ahead," he says, waving me off. I head over to the aisle of school supplies and grab a few regular comp books, some pens (damn, they don't have Pilot G2's) and a packet of mechanical pencils.
"Thanks."
I definitely don't jump at the sudden voice behind me. Not even a little bit. After I finish scrabbling for the dropped stationary I turn around. Yang's there, staring me resolutely in the eye. "Thanks for helping me and Ruby in the forest."
"Tai already thanked me," I say, clutching the writing tools to my chest. Why why why do people think they need to thank people multiple times? "You really don't-"
"Yeah, I kinda do," she says. "If I hadn't gone out, then you wouldn't have had to draw the Beowolves away-"
"-and I might have frozen to death instead of getting my Aura unlocked," I counter. "I appreciate your thanks, now can we go back to the puns?" I ask. Anything but this.
She doesn't seem to think it's settled, but she does seem to be willing to let it go for now. She starts walking back towards Tai before stopping and turning back to face me. "That's quite an apple-ing suggestion you're making..."
Kill me.
Back at the Xiao Long residence, the journal supplies rest on the couch while I start making the cake. After a disastrous incident involving eggs and butter that ends in a new change of clothes for everyone involved, Ruby is relegated to an observing role with Tai (there to make sure the house doesn't accidentally burn down) while Yang and I do the actual cooking. She's actually super helpful (unlike my sister shutting that train of thought down right now) and we wrap up the batter inside of twenty minutes. After the two pans go in and the oven door closes, there's a little sigh. We both turn to look at Ruby.
"That's it?" Ruby says, glancing between Yang and I. Yang looks at me.
"Is it?" she asks, turning to the four dirty utensils currently soaking in the sink. "I mean, the kitchen is pretty clean..."
"Do you guys measure the success of a session in the kitchen by the mess that's left afterwards?" I ask incredulously. When the entire Xiao Long family refuses to meet my gaze, I have a sudden moment of sympathy for Summer. That poor woman. "The cake itself is done," I clarify. "Now we wait for it to come out, and while it's cooling we can make the frosting. Were you expecting cooking to be hard?" I ask.
"Yeah," Ruby says with the honesty that only the very young can pull off. Tai nods along with her, and Yang rubs the back of her head sheepishly.
"Mom always made it look easy," she mutters.
And just like that the mood is murdered. Ruby's smile turns fragile, Tai gets a look in his eyes that tells me he's wandered off into bittersweet memories, and Yang starts biting her lower lip when she realizes that she fucked up.
I need to run interference and get these people to think about anything other than Summer right now because I sure as hell don't know how to help a grieving family.
"So, we need to kill thirty three minutes while this cake bakes," I blurt out, walking towards the door. "Do you wanna know what happens after our heroes enter the most wretched hive of scum and villainy in the galaxy?" I ask, hanging by the door. "I figure I should probably write this stuff down while I'm telling the story, make sure I don't forget it." Actually, if there's no Star Wars parallel in this universe, I'm totally going to plagiarize the hell out of George Lucas. The people here deserve to be introduced to the greatest sci-fi trilogy of all time.
"Yeah!" Ruby says, pushing past me and making a beeline for the unopened composition books and pencils on the couch. "Lemme help you open them!" Tai smiles and goes after his daughter. Yang nudges me in the side as she passes me.
"Thanks," she whispers, before going to fuss over Ruby, who's trying to open up a packet of pencils with her teeth. I join them.
For the next thirty minutes I play the storyteller. I handwave away questions about names, use silly voices for the aliens, do my best Wookie impression (which is bad, but it gets Yang and Ruby to try and I think Tai nearly catches diabetes from the concentrated adorableness), answer various questions about the logistics of a space station the size of a moon, and cut myself off about halfway through the escape from the Death Star when the timer on the oven goes off.
"Right, food!" I say, getting up from my rather comfortable chair and walking into the kitchen. "Where are the mittens?" I ask.
"Right here!" Ruby says, running in behind me and pulling open a drawer to reveal several mismatched oven mitts. Perfect.
"Thanks," I say, remembering to smile. I pull a pair on before turning to the oven and opening it-
"Rubes!" Tai shouts and the two of us freeze.
"Yeah?" Ruby says, turning. Tai's at the door, hands clinging to the frame like he's bracing himself against a current, a pained expression on his face.
"Could you-" he swallows, visibly forcing down stronger words, "-please step away from the oven? Don't want to you to get burned," he finishes, trying to explain something that he knows intellectually is too much but he can't help but do because what if this is the one time doing way too much keeps his family safe? Yang is peeking out from behind his legs, a similar worry in her eyes.
"Uh, sure," Ruby says meekly, stepping back. I remove the cake tins without comment, turn off the oven, and set a timer for ten minutes. The kitchen is silent after that, one part confused, to two parts embarrassed and worried, to one part desperately trying to understand.
Overprotective, huh?
"Welp, we still need to make the frosting," I say, trying to break the awkward silence. "Yang, you want to help Ruby with this?" The easiest part of the whole thing, it's literally just mixing powdered sugar into cream cheese slowly.
"Yup," Yang says, walking over to the sink and pulling out the tines for the egg beater.
"Yay, frosting!" Ruby says, running to the dining room. "I'll get a chair!"
I'm still the one to melt the chocolate but Ruby and Yang take care of the base frosting easily enough while Tai chops up the strawberries into wafers. Once everything is mixed together, I get to frosting while Ruby and Yang arrange the fruit on top of the now-flipped cakes. Ten more minutes (God, I love easy recipes) and there's a chocolate/strawberry cake wrapped in totally-not-Saran-wrap sitting in the refrigerator. I start washing dishes while Ruby and Yang head into the living room to play a board game.
"Is now a good time to talk about where you came from?" Tai asks, sidling up beside me and picking up a pan to scrub at. I totally don't jump and nearly send the measuring cup flying before taking a deep breath and letting it out.
"What do you want to know?" I ask, giving the cup one last rinse before placing it on the drying rack.
"Anything you can tell me," he answers, grinding his sponge into a particularly stubborn bit of debris on the pan.
I rinse a spoon off and try to think of something satisfying yet far enough from the truth to be believable.
"I'm really far from home," I start, even though it's not new information. "I feel older than I am," Tai snorts at that, "and I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life now that I'm a stranger in a strange land." Minus all the weird sexual/economic stuff that the actual Stranger in a Strange Land had running through it. Thank God.
"That really doesn't tell me anything," he says, tossing the pan onto the drying rack and getting to work on the bowl.
"My parents were-are-," I correct myself, they're almost certainly not dead yet, "Doctors, and I wanted to be a writer. Does that satisfy you?" I ask bitterly.
"Not really," he says, tossing the bowl onto the rack. That's the last dish. He looks down at me and starts drying his hands off. "On the other hand, you don't sound like a serial killer and you saved my girls. That'll do for now." He passes me the towel. "C'mon, Remnant needs four players."
I dry my hands while looking at the father leaving the kitchen. Then I toss the towel onto the counter and walk after him.
I'm always down to learn a new game.