"Cào nǐmen zǔzōng shíbā dài!"

The bacteria were all over the intestines. They scuttled back and forth with their flagella, evading the immune cells trying to capture them and the lactic acid bacteria trying to help the immune cells.

"I have no idea what that means, but it doesn't sound good!" said U-4989, as the insult-spewing bacterium dodged him yet again.

"It doesn't matter what they say, just kill them!" shouted U-1146, who was having similar trouble.

"Qù nǐ nǎinaide!"

"Oh yeah? Well… Your mom!"

"4989…"

"Sorry!"

The bacterium blew a raspberry. "Bèndàn."

"Hey! I don't like your tone!"

"4989!"

"Sorry!"

The neutrophils heard the whirring of propellers as the antibiotics flew above them.

"Tóngzhìmen hǎo. Wǒmen xiànzài qù zhǎo jūn, zhǎodào jiù shā jūn," they droned. The immediately sprayed the entire are with mist.

"This should help!" shouted U-4989.

The fuzzy pink bacteria were coated with the antibiotics. No doubt they would soon slow down, die, and…

And…

They were laughing.

"Wúyòng!" one exclaimed, disdain obvious in its voice.

If U-1146 could have gotton any paler, he would have. "It… it's not helping…"

Antibiotic Resistance

Antibiotics work by targeting specific enzymes that bacteria produce. However, due to excessive or improper usage of antibiotics (like not finishing one's prescription as instructed, or treating non-bacterial infections with antibiotics) can result in antibiotic resistance. As the bacteria that produce the enzyme targeted are killed, strains that do not produce the enzyme in as large quantities (or at all) survive and reproduce, eventually creating a new strain that is just as infectious, but no longer responds to antibiotics.

This is why it is important to take antibiotics exactly as prescribed, so as to kill all the bacteria. It is also important to avoid using antibiotics excessively and incorrectly.

The bacteria giggled as they surrounded the immune cells, unaffected by the antibiotic mist.

"Can this get any worse?" asked U-1146.

"Nyu! Nyuuuu!"

"Oh no…"

The antibiotic had no effect on the infections bacteria. But it was hurting the lactic acid bacteria!

Effects of Antibiotics

Antibiotics do not discriminate between helpful and harmful bacteria. As a result, helpful bacteria will often be killed alongside the harmful bacteria. It is often recommended to eat probiotic food, such as yogurt, to replenish one's supply of helpful bacteria while taking antibiotics. Yogurt contains multitudes of lactic acid bacteria.

"No!" souted U-1146.

The lactic acid bacteria in the area grew more lethargic.

"Nyu! Nyu! Nyuuuu…"

The Salmonella bacteria quickly lost interest in the neutrophils and scampered away to cause more damage.

"Nyuu…"

The neutrophils watched in horror as the lactic acid bacteria laid down and stopped moving.

"Lactic acid bacteria? Lactic acid bacteria!" cried 1146.

"Come on! Wake up you cute little squirts!" shouted 4989.

The lactic acid bacteria did not respond. They slowly began to dissolve as the antibiotic disrupted their enzymes, destroying their cell walls.

"No!" U-4989 sank to his knees. "No, no, no, no, no!"

"We need to warn the other lactic acid bacteria! Hurry up!"

U-4989 looked up. "What's the point? The antibiotic is in the blood stream now! They have no place to hide!"

"No, they do. If I remember correctly, they can stay in the appendix. That's a safe area for them."

U-4898 lowered his head. "Okay. Let's go. We still gotta stop these pink bastards."

…

AE-3803 was not happy.

She was tired. She was grumpy. Her feet hurt. The antibiotic mist smelled horrible.

And worst of all, the bacteria were still trashing everywhere. They were more spread out, but they kept trying to assault blood cells for oxygen.

She just wanted to sleep.

She didn't even know how so many bacteria were still out there. Wouldn't the antibiotic help?

She sat down on a bench and rubbed her eyes. Maybe she should just take a rest for a moment. Yeah…

That thought was interrupted as she heard footsteps approaching her. Opening a single eye, she glanced in the direction of the newcomers.

White Blood Cell?

He was running quite fast towards her, with U-4989 behind him.

"White Blood Cell?" she asked.

"Red Blood Cell!" he shouted. Strange. Usually when he returned from fighting bacteria, he was covered in bright red cytoplasm. However, at the moment he was completely spotless. The bacteria didn't even leave a scratch on him. What was going on?

U-1146 came to a stop in front of her. "Red Blood Cell, you need to spread the word. All the lactic acid bacteria need to get to the appendix."

"Wha- why?"

"The antibiotic, it's useless against the infection, but it hurts the lactic acid bacteria."

"Oh no!" cried Red Blood Cell, hands rising to her face. The lactic acid bacteria were essential to the body, helping it break down substances the body can't process itself. And they were sooo cute!

In the corner of her eye she saw a small group of lactic acid bacteria bouncing their way down the path, probably eager to reach the appendix.

"We're running to tell everyone we can. We're also trying to catch the bacteria. Please, help us!"

This wouldn't do. Energized with her new mission to protect the lactic acid bacteria, Red Blood Cell stood up immediately and saluted.

"I'll do my best!" she said, before sprinting off.

…

Red Blood Cell had several lactic acid bacteria piled on top of the oxygen box on her cart.

She was busy pushing the lactic acid bacteria to the appendix.

"Nyu, nyunyu nyuu!" cooed a bacterium.

"You're welcome, little guy!"

Suddenly, Red Blood Cell heard a whirring in the air. The antibiotics!

She began sprinting down the road as the robotic greeting rang out behind her.

"Tóngzhìmen hǎo. Wǒmen xiànzài qù zhǎo jūn, zhǎodào jiù shā jūn."

Red Blood Cell heard the machines hiss as they released the antibiotic mist. Not wanting to let the lactic acid bacteria get harmed by the mist (and also not wanting to smell it again), she ran full speed.

"Nyuuuu!"

She was running so fast, she almost forgot where they were headed. Suddenly, she saw a large, metal door labelled "Appendix."

She skidded to a stop and tried to open the door.

"No, no, no!" she grumbled, pulling with all her might. "Come on, open!"

The whir of propellers came closer.

She felt something soft around her ankles. Looking down, the lactic acid bacteria had dismounted the cart and were escaping into a small, square hole in the bottom of the door that Red Blood Cell hadn't noticed.

The last bacterium stopped and looked back at her. It waved a flipper to her.

"Nyu-nyu!" it said in a sing-song voice, which almost sounded like "Thank you!"

It disappeared into the hole

"You're welcome, little guy!" she said to the door. The whirring became louder.

"Tóngzhìmen hǎo…"

A/N: This chapter was fun to write because of the Mandarin insults. :)

Translations for the Mandarin:

"Cào nǐmen zǔzōng shíbā dài!" - "F*** your ancestors the the eighteenth generation!"*

"Qù nǐ nǎinaide!" - literally "Go to your grandma!" it has about the same meaning as "your mom" in English.

"Bèndàn." - "moron" (literally "stupid egg.")

"Wúyòng!" - "Useless!"

* I used Wikipedia to find the insults, and this one is just so specific yet so full of spite I just had to use it, lol. Yes, this is a real insult, and it is horribly rude.