Chapter 4: Testing is a Drag-Part 1
The day after Daffy was appreiciated by his genius, he and Lola grew more and more with their friendship and Bugs was really enjoying this. So, he decided to have a talk with Mr. Warner about this.
"Hey, doc." Bugs greeted with a smile. Mr. Warner was happy to see that Bugs was happy about this whole thing as the gray hare took his seat. "I'm actually feelin' good about Lola and Daff's friendship."
"That's good to hear. After all, I came up with this idea." Mr. Warner replied.
"Dat's what I wanted ta talk to ya about. Since when did ya come up with dis idea of havin' Daffy being Lola's partna in gettin' her popularity back?"
"Ever since Space Jam. I've been having that stuck in my head for the longest time and I figured this was the perfect time to finally let it go. Lola and Daffy were hilarious together in that one scene after the part where Granny got smushed by the Monstars."
"Yeah, dey were. Lola was like 'Whatever, you stupid-ass duck' when she showed dat look on her face. Dat cracked me up when we saw the premiere."
"Yeah. Now, since you're supporting this friendship, it's your duty to actually test how close as friends they are."
"By doin'… what?"
"Well…"
Later, at breakfast…
"A testht?!" Sylvester asked with anger. "How come they get to have a friendship testht?!"
"Well, fo' startas, ya don't have the popularity issue. Lola does. Secondly, you don't even have a close friendship wit anybody else, but Tweety. So, uh… ya can stop complainin', doc!" Bugs replied briefly. Sylvester folded his arms and humphed with anger. This made Wile E. do the same.
"I was gonna do that myself, you know." He muttered with anger.
"Yeah… until ya wanted Lola ta be 'more complex wit her looneyness'. Damn, doc! Don't be so harsh to 'er. She hasn't been here too long… not yet."
"I know that…"
"Den treat her dat way, damn it!!!" That made the coyote get silent with wide eyes. Lola and Daffy wanted to chuckle, but knowing that Wile E.'s really determined about this whole thing, they decided to keep their chuckles in their heads. "Now, Daff… you and Lo are gonna spend a whole day togedder… witout me… witout Sly… even witout Taz."
"It'sth not like a date, isth it?" Daffy asked as he took a bite of his pancake.
"Not… exactly. It's more like a regular friend-and-friend day. Then, at night, when ya'll go out ta dinna… dat's when it's a date."
"Yikes." Lola muttered sarcastically. Daffy just cringed. Bugs sighed at their behavior.
"Don't take dis seriously, okay? All Mr. Warner wants ya'll ta do… is get ta know each other privately. Doesn't sound mushy like a bunch of shit, right?"
"Nnnnnnnooooooo!" Daffy and Lola sang out in response.
"Okay, den. Ya'll get ta start ya day… in 30 minutes."
"This is a test, right?" Lola asked as she stood up, ready to go upstairs. Same for Daffy. Bugs nodded in response. "Are you gonna be following us?"
"Pretty much, but don't worry. I won't distoib ya. Why?"
"Daffy's been trying to do something to me and it's getting suspicious."
"Maybe it's da fact dat ya hugged him wit no shoit and no… wait! Let me say dis a different way. Ya was huggin' him half naked!"
"So? It's not like he was interested in touchin' me there."
Uh… actually, I wasth. Daffy's voice protested in his head as he watched the two bunnies talk.
"Sure, I didn't see his face, but damn! I can tell when he wants ya… if ya know what I mean, Lo." Bugs continued. Lola placed a hand on her hip as she continued.
"We're not even the same species, for cryin' out loud!!" Lola nearly screamed. Daffy slowly tip-toed upstairs to get ready for the day. As he was walking upstairs, he began to talk to himself about what Bugs and Lola were arguing about.
"I actually wasth thinkin' that I should be like Bugsth with the whole… touchin' and shit. Justht for one day! What'sth it gonna harm anyway?" He started as he headed for his room. "Lola's easthy to get along with… asth long asth you don't call her 'doll' behind her back. All I have to do isth justht… tell her that I'm more into her than being justht friendsth, but……… nervousth asth Hell asth I am, I don't know how I'm gonna tell her. I can't justht go up in her facthe and sthay: 'Hey, Lola! I wanna be more than justht friendsth!'. That'sth gonna be sthome embarissthin' bullshit right there. Gotta think of a better approach." After that was said, he finally approached his room and opened the door, only to find…
"Bugsth?! But… weren't you… how did you…"
"We're Looneys, rememba?" Bugs asked smoothly. He was standing against a wall with his arms crossed. "I hoid ya down da hall."
"You… you did?" Daffy was shocked as he closed his door, not taking his eyes off of the gray hare. "Stho, if you did hear all that, do you understhtand what I sthaid?"
"Yep. I knew ya wanted ta 'get it on' wit Lola."
"Not really. I wasthn't sthayin' that."
"Oh. Den what did ya mean, Daff?"
"I meant that we should, but only if she sthurrendersth and admitsth that she'sth got more feelingsth for me, too."
"Ohhhhhh! So, don't tell Lola about dis, right?"
"No. Not until the right time. Tructhe?"
"Truce." Bugs and Daffy shook hands after that. The day was ready.
Later, in the lobby…
"Okay, now." Daffy started as he was pacing back and forth in front of Lola, who was dressed in a white sweater and blue jeans, due to the cold weather. Daffy was wearing a red sweater and matching jeans. "It wasth Mr. Warner'sth idea to put usth together, Bugsth didn't like the idea at firstht, but now, he likesth it, Wile E.'sth over there sthayin' you're looneynessth performancthe wasthn't good enough, and now, you sthay that I'm a geniusth… while huggin' me half naked! Doesth thisth add up to anything at all, Lola?"
"It all adds up to our complete friendship." She replied. Daffy was wide eyed as he stared at her.
"Did you sthay… 'complete'?"
"Yeah. We're truly best friends, if you've been standin' up for me ever since I got smashed for the first time."
"That wasth an exthception, okay? I wasth justht… mad at what Wile E. wasth tryin' to do to ya."
"And I really appreciate it, Daffy. That's why I say we're complete friends. We're not aquaintences anymore. Understand?"
"………yeah. I get it. Stho, where do ya wanna go firstht?" Daffy was deep in thought about what Lola just said as she stood up.
"I guess we can hit the zoo."
"The zthoo?! I don't wanna be eaten by a bear again!!!"
"Don't worry. If I can stand up to some crazy-ass Monstars, I can face a bear."
"O… kay. If you sthay stho… Let'sth go!"
In the kitchen…
Bugs, Mr. Warner, Sylvester, Taz, Elmer, Foghorn, and Wile E. were watching them leave with smiles, except for Wile E., who had a frown.
"Daffy, I say, Daffy and Lola are really easin' up on their friendship!" Foghorn commented as he patted Bugs on the shoulder. Bugs nodded in agreement.
"I'll have ta admit, doc… but I do tink Daff and Lo has a chance to make up for dere big fight earlier on da Space Jam set. Rememba dat, docs?" Bugs asked. Sylvester laughed at the thought of it.
"Yeah, I remember. They were havin' a wresthlin' match on the floor that day! Oh, damn! I wasth dyin'!" He exclaimed. Bugs chuckled at his comment.
"Yeah, I was keepin' my comments to myself. Anyway, wish 'em da best of luck, docs. They're gonna be out all day."
"I hope Daffy doesn't shake so much. I heard they're goin' ta the zoo first and he shakes so hard that he might piss on himself." Foghorn warned.
Meanwhile, at the ACME Zoo…
"Ohhhhhh, no…" Daffy muttered as he looked up at a giant sting ray behind a glass. He was shaking vigoriously. "…I… I think I'm gonna go on mysthelf!"
"Eww." Lola muttered as she looked at the shivering duck. She then pulled out a mallet from behind her and thwacked the mallard on his head hard, knocking out the nervousness. "There. You happy?"
"Yeah. Thanksth."
"Ya know, I might like you being with me. You're just as funny as Bugs… only funnier."
Daffy's eyes lit up. He did not believe what he just heard.
"Huh?!" Daffy asked with shock. "Did you justht sthay…?"
"Yeah. I'll have to admit… you are funnier than Bugs. I like it."
"Well… heh, heh…" Daffy was red as red apples now as he spoke. "………I, uh… try my bestht when it comesth to bein' funnier than that gray hare husthband of yoursth."
"And it really pays off. Let's go see the reptiles!"
"Again?!" Daffy was dragged back to the reptile section for the 5th time since they arrived.
Meanwhile, in the reptile section…
"Lola, we've been through here five timesth already!" The black duck exclaimed. Lola was so into the komodo dragons that she didn't hear a single word he just said. "Lola Bunny, are you listhtening to me?! We've… been… here… five… TIMESTH!!!"
"Daffy, calm down." Lola said calmly. "I just like the komodo dragons."
"Well, keep one for cryin' out loud! I'm getting tired of bein' here. I'd rather hit the food court."
"Three minutes. Please?"
"Okay, okay. Three minutesth and we're outta here!" At this point, he was actually starting to like being with Lola. He found her pretty cute and curious. He kept these comments to himself as he watched her watch the huge monitor lizards. As he was thinking this, he turned towards the tiger section and saw that one tiger was missing and the cage was closed, but a little damaged. He soon realized what happened and gulped with fear as he tapped the tan bunny on her shoulder.
"Daffy, I got one more minute." Lola pleaded as she kept her excited eyes on the lizards.
"But-but-but, Lola…" Daffy tried to speak, but he was too scared. "T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tiger… essssssssssssssthca-ca-ca-ca-ca-caped."
"What?" Lola finally turned towards the shaking duck. She was about to hit him on the head again before she noticed what Daffy was trying to tell her. "Oh, shit…"
"What do we do?"
"I… I don't know." Lola slowly placed her mallet away as she walked up to the duck. "It's a siberian tiger that escaped, right?"
"Yyyyyyyeah."
"We're in trouble." While the two were looking at the cage, they didn't know that the siberian tiger that escaped was behind them, drooling above their heads. They didn't notice until a huge splot of thick drool landed on Lola's shoulder. "EWWWW! Gross!" She then looked up at where the drool came from and gulped as her color slowly left her body, like a waterfall, until she was completely black and white. Then, she fainted to the ground. Daffy heard this and looked down at her.
"Lola, you okay? You look asth though you sthaw a…" Daffy felt the drool himself as he looked up and saw the huge tiger. He turned pale. "… TIIIIIGERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The black duck picked up the unconcious and colorless Lola and dashed out with the tiger roaring and chasing behind him. The roar sent everybody panicking as they escaped for santuary. Daffy tried to wake Lola up as he was running.
"LOLA!!! LOLA, WAKE UP!!! I NEED YA, GODDAMN IT!!!" He pleaded frantically as he slapped her face a few times. No avail. She was out cold, like a giant boulder knocked her on the head. "AWWW, DAMN!!!! I'M A DEAD DUCK FOR SURE NOW!!!" He continued running, hoping that he'll find freedom from the siberian tiger. Minutes later, Lola slowly woke up, her color slowly reappearing again. She looked up at the tiger that was chasing them and gasped as she quickly jumped on the tiger's back as soon as he scratched Daffy on his back, knocking him to the ground. At this point, the tiger didn't care about the black duck as he looked up at Lola on his back and started chasing her as she jumped off and ran in a different direction. Daffy was laid back on the ground, holding his bleeding back as he slowly sat up and saw what Lola was doing.
"Hey, tiger! Over here!" Lola sang out playfully as she stood there, waiting for him. The tiger roared as he attacked, only to miss her again and hurting his head. He laid there was stars circling around his head and spirial eyes as Lola landed on her feet gracefully. While he was phased, Daffy slowly stood up and pulled out a mallet of his own as he walked up to the tiger. When he finally came to, he looked at Lola again, hoping he would get her this time… but then…
THWACK!!!!!
Daffy slammed the giant wooden mallet on the huge cat's head, rendering him completely unconscious. The force from the hit caused Daffy's back to sting very bad as he screamed and Lola ran up to his aid just in time.
"Ouch! Damn cat." Daffy muttered as he was gently laid back. Lola chuckled.
"You did great, Daff." She said softly. "You change moods too quickly. First, you were scared as hell. Now, you get brave and ignore the scratches on your back, just to hit this crazy cat."
"Well, asth for me bein' a duck and all, I have the ability to do that. Ugh!" The pain stung him again. "Can-can-can we-can we leave now? If another cat triesth to eat me again, I sthwear. I'll justht let it eat ya assth thisth time."
"Sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you."
"That'sth okay. Justht… listhten carefully nextht time when I sthay that a dangerousth cat esthcapesth."
"I will. Let's take you to a clinic first. There's one nearby… just in case."
Meanwhile, back at the studio…
"How do ya tink Daff and Lo are doin', doc?" Bugs asked Mr. Warner, who was sitting next to him in the living room.
"I'm sure they're doing just fine." Mr. Warner replied. "They haven't called yet-"
RRRRRIIIIIIIIINGG!!
"Well, dey called now. I'll get it, doc." Bugs picked up the phone next to him and spoke. "Hello?"
"Hey, Bugs." Lola greeted from the other line.
"Hey, Lola. What's up?"
"We're about to leave the zoo and head for a duck race that Daffy just happened to tell me about. He signed up for it and we need to get there fast."
"Where are ya at now-wait! Did ya just say Daffy entered a duck race?"
"Against some real ducks? Yeah."
"Damn, doc. Daffy's really sprung up about dis duck shit. Anyways, Where are ya at?"
"We're at the zoo's clinic. We, uh… had an encounter with a siberian tiger earlier."
"Oh, my God! Did ya get hoit?"
"I didn't, but Daffy did."
"YEOUCH!!!!!!!" Daffy yelled in the background, just to prove Lola's point. Bugs cringed.
"Aw, poor Daff. What happened to him?" He asked.
"He was running from the tiger, right? Then, the next thing you know, he gets scratched by his big-ass claws and they actually sliced some flesh off of this duck's back. He was bleeding, Bugs!"
"Yeech!"
"Yeah. Luckily, I didn't see his back. Otherwise, I would've been puking right now."
"Damn! Well, what happened afta dat?"
"I disracted him while Daffy was trying to regain himself from the scratch. Then, when the tiger came to after being knocked out for a while, Daffy came in and thwacked his ass!"
"Wit a hamma, right?"
"Yeah. It looked like it hurt like hell and he was completely out cold."
"Wow. Daffy risked it, huh?"
"And plenty of it."
"YAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Daffy screamed again. "WATCH IT WITH THE ALCOHOL DABBIN', PAL!!! IT REALLY STHTINGSTH, LIKE BEESTH!!"
"Sorry." The doctor apologized. Lola sighed as she looked at the comotion, still holding the cordless phone in hand. Again, Bugs cringed.
"Daffy's scratches must be dat bad, huh?" He asked. Lola nodded.
"Yeah, but they're healing fast. They're just about done. We're gonna head to the duck races now. See ya!"
"Bye!" After that, Bugs hung up and looked at Mr. Warner. "Well, what did I tell ya? Daffy and Lola re really friends if Lola saved him from a vicious tiga."
"She did?! She actually saved him?" Mr. Warner asked with shock.
"Yeah, and den, Daffy saved her."
"My God! This is really getting interesting. I can't wait to see how the rest of the day goes."
(And I know you can't wait either!!)
To be continued…