CHAPTER FOUR – PEOPLE ARE STRANGE
"Look, will you please just hear me out?" Artemis asked Matt Sneider as the analyst made a big show of changing into pajamas and pointedly ignoring him. The cat wondered whether he should come back another time and whether Mina was looking for him. But if she was partying with her friends, it would be a miracle if the Senshi of Love remembered anything. And anyway, Artemis had spent too much time waiting here in this guy's apartment to just leave now.
"I'm not listening to you," Matt muttered. "You're obviously some kind of hallucination. I'm in some messed-up dreamlike state because my fuckin' brain doesn't know left from right from too much alcohol, and I'm going to fall asleep now because that's what you do to wake up from a dream. Good night."
"Eh?" Artemis raised an eyebrow. Even in a normal frame of mind, this guy would have a hard time digesting what Artemis was about to tell him. But he had to try. He decided to take the dream idea and run with it.
"You're absolutely right. This is a dream," Artemis said. "I'm not real. So it wouldn't hurt if you listened for a while, right?"
"So, any minute now I'm gonna wake up on the floor of my office, with my head resting on a pile of printer paper and no idea how I got there?" he slurred. "Oh wait, I have to make it to Associate rank before I do that…"
Artemis rolled his eyes. This guy was out of his mind! He was worse than Mina!
"This is a dream. My name is Artemis, and I'm here on behalf of the Sailor Senshi."
"Sailor Senshi?" Matt repeated as he brushed his teeth with laborious effort, blinking furiously in the mirror. "Never heard of that firm. Do they have a good bond trading desk?"
"Would you stop interrupting me? It's rude," Artemis snapped. "Just because you're in a dream, you think you can…just for God's sake, look on the table."
Resting there was a black gun belt with two beautiful-looking pistols in it; they reminded Matt of the Desert Eagle. One was a gleaming silver color, the other one black as black could get. Each gun had a smooth grip that looked the perfect size for Matt's hand. The long square barrels stretched out menacingly, while a mini-sight graced the end of each weapon. A crescent moon was carved into the side of each one, and strange runes lined around the grip. The guns almost seemed to glow, inviting someone to pick them up.
"One gun for each side of the Moon," Artemis explained as Matt walked over to the table for a closer look. "You see—"
"Have you, by any chance, been listening to any Pink Floyd lately?" Matt mused as he ran his hand over the cold metal.
"Wh-what? No! What the hell kind of a question is that?" Artemis said, losing patience.
"Come on, man—'Dark Side of the Moon?' I'm not stupid."
Artemis visibly and audibly composed himself, taking a deep breath and muttering something about where Luna found the patience to do stuff like this.
"The point is, these guns are now yours under a certain condition," the cat said.
"And what condition is that?"
"The Sailor Senshi are a group of magical warriors who fight against the youma who are trying to hurt innocent people. It is their destiny to rule a kingdom of paradise on the moon, many thousands of years into the future. You're going to help them meet that destiny. These guns must be wielded by someone; all we ask is that you use them in defense of love and justice."
"'Love and justice?'" Matt sneered. "What is this, some kind of hippie commune?"
"The survival of the human race is at stake," Artemis said seriously.
"I…this is crazy," said Matt, removing his hand from the guns as though afraid they might bite him. "I'm dreaming; you told me I'm dreaming. This isn't real, what's happening right now."
"…I, uh…" Artemis realized he had dug himself into a hole. Dammit, why hadn't he planned this out better? "Look, these guns are magical, alright? They're strong against the youma that you're going to have to fight. I don't make up the rules; the weapons just appeared to me. I have to bestow them on someone, and congratulations, you're elected."
Matt scoffed. "I think you've got the wrong…guy," as he fell into bed and started snoring, his body refusing to allow him to stay awake for more chat.
Artemis swore. Luna would have his head for explaining everything so abstractly, especially for someone as shitfaced as Sneider was right now. When those two weapons had appeared to him in a flash of light, it was clear both to him and Luna that destiny was giving them a choice. They had to find someone who knew how to use them, so that he might offer the Senshi some aid.
Of course, destiny was silent as to exactly to whom the guns belonged, so the two cats had decided on the "Random search" option. To be honest, Artemis only had the slightest hunch when he had first observed Matt Sneider walking into the Goldman Sachs headquarters. It was far from the certainty he had felt when finding the Senshi themselves; then, their auras had lit up like a Christmas tree, leaving no room for error.
This guy's aura was so muddled with gray that Artemis didn't know what to think. Matt Sneider's was only slightly clearer than the other humans around him, and if Artemis didn't have that hunch of his, he would have given up almost immediately. Neither Luna nor Mina knew he was here in Matt's apartment. And if Luna knew he was wasting all this time just following a slight hunch on something so uncertain, she would claw him up instantly.
Luna didn't have all the answers either, but she was convinced that destiny threw certain situations into their paths that would leave it up to humans' free will to join with the Moon Kingdom or not. Paradise on the Moon wasn't etched in stone, no matter how much they talked about destiny. In these situations, there would be an opportunity to move that Moon Kingdom closer to fruition or farther away.
In circumstances like these, Luna believed, mankind would show his true colors and make a conscious choice for good or evil. Doing nothing wasn't an option. Whoever held the guns would have to make the same choice. The weapons were a gift that could potentially do great good or great harm to the Sailor Senshi. It all depended on the person.
Arrogant, rude, obnoxious, unable to hold his liquor—not exactly traits that the Senshi were looking for.
Matt Sneider had made a terrible first impression. But Artemis was determined not to give up. He would just have to throw Matt Sneider into a situation that would force him to take sides.
And in that moment, they would all see whether he had potential to join with the Senshi.
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"What is it?" Lucretius glanced up irritably from what he was working on. An underling stood there in the doorway. It glanced curiously at the partially-completed black sphere that floated in front of his boss' chair. The orb was about the size of a basketball and looked as if a large bite had been taken out of it. It crackled with black and purple energy and had an eerie, neon blue halo around it.
"…I was just wondering, sir, when to tell the troops to implement part B of the plan."
Lucretius sniffed through his black and white, demonoid kabuki mask and stared at the youma trooper. "The Senshi haven't gotten wind of where she is? You've destroyed the tracker?" the commander asked.
"Yes, sir. It was hiding in that ridiculous bow she wears on her head."
"Excellent. This will buy us time. For the Senshi are still human despite their powers, and they cannot locate what will not be found," Lucretius mused. "Part B will go into action…not tomorrow, but the night after. Find out where they meet, and we will contact them about our…ransom."
"Understood, sir," said the underling. "But, if I may, sir—"
"Yes?"
"Why not move sooner?"
"Tomorrow, I have some…personal business to attend to," the youma leader returned his attention to the crackling black orb in front of him. "Leave me."
When the soldier had departed, Lucretius grunted. "The cloak and the dagger. Fools…this is more important even than capturing all the Senshi in one fell swoop." He gazed lustfully at the device before him. "It's almost finished," Lucretius muttered sadistically.
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"What do you mean, she never came home, Artemis?" Makoto looked as if she wanted to strangle the cat. She, Ami, Usagi and the two cats were talking outside during lunch at school the day after the party at Makoto's apartment. Minako hadn't shown up at school, and Artemis had just told them that she wasn't at home. His late night rendezvous remained a secret. Not one of them looked happy.
"I mean she never came home last night!" said the frightened Artemis. "I waited till sunrise, and I swear I thought Mina spent the night at your place!"
"How did you girls let her out of your sight if she was that drunk?" Luna demanded, sounding like the annoyed mother she always seemed to channel.
"We tried! Ami tried zeroing in on her locator so we could find where she was, and there was no signal!" Usagi tried to explain.
"No signal? Well, that should have clued you in that something was wrong, don't you think?" Luna said angrily.
"We thought she fell on it and broke it or something!"
"I'm very disappointed in all of you," Luna said. "It's shameful. You're supposed to watch out for each other. Mina could be in terrible danger now! She could have been kidnapped, or worse! And all because you girls just don't know how much is enough! WHY can't you take this job seriously?"
Each of the three girls looked absolutely crestfallen. Ami looked at her computer with a strange face, as if confused that it had let her down. "What are we going to do?" she whispered quietly. There was silence. Even if Rei had been present, there probably would have been more yelling, but still no idea of what to do.
Artemis decided to let out what he was planning. It was the only mildly positive thing they had going for them at the moment, and it was better than sitting around staring at each other and pointing fingers.
He explained everything that had been going through his mind of late, about how the guns had appeared to him and Luna and his hunch that someone new would be available to help them, and that possibly, just possibly, that person might be able to help them find Mina.
"What makes you think this person has what it takes?" asked Luna.
"Tonight, I'm going to test him," Artemis announced. "I'm going to put him in a situation where he must consciously choose to join us or run away. If he joins, well and good. If not, then we'll give the guns to someone else."
"What exactly are you going to do?" Ami asked.
"Well…let's just say…it'll involve…putting one of you in mortal danger, and he'll be the closest one available to help," said Artemis.
"And who do you think that's gonna be?" Makoto demanded, crossing her arms and drawing herself up to full height. "Because it sure as hell won't be me. I'm no damsel in distress, thank you very much!"
"Well…seeing as none of you probably want to do it…and judging by who isn't really here…if we all try really hard to make it look natural, this can work." Artemis concluded. "Be vigilant tonight, Sailor Senshi. I'm going to go to his office later to give him the guns. You'll most likely get a phone call very late in the evening about the results."