Clown
a chapter of Living Lost
by The Pop Tart Spirits
"Yugi's no Kaiba; he's gonna beat this clown!"
I wonder, when I said that, what exactly did I mean?
The moment I said it I felt a pang of guilt, like I was being untrue to you. Although your soul was in some other realm at the moment, I felt like my words were false to you, false to your love.
And in saying that, did I mean that Yugi had none of your fiery spirit? Nah, although fiery isn't exactly a word I'd use for Yugi at times, the kid has plenty of spirit.
Did I mean Yugi didn't have your way of worming into your opponent's head and scaring them senseless? Now that I think of it, when Yugi duels, it's like there's someone else doing it instead of the sweet, gentle Yugi we know. A powerful person, and he does indeed scare people senseless. I've seen it enough times to believe it.
Did I mean Yugi didn't have your way of looking at me and turning my insides to mush? Well, in that context, no, but those amethyst eyes of his could get him anything he wanted if he knew how to use them properly.
What is wrong with me? Can't I see you're gone? And even my thoughts are making no sense. I can't figure out where I was going with this silent tirade. I'm missing you badly, so badly...
Yugi's up there now, dueling that silver-haired freak (err... no offense, Bakura) to win back your soul. And all I can do is compare him to you and drool about you like a schoolgirl. But no. You're gone. It hurts me to say it, and I feel like crying right here in front of everyone who wouldn't understand, but you are gone. And even though Yugi is the most amazing duelist I've ever seen (hey, he beat you, didn't he?) I doubt even he will be able to beat ol' Peggsy.
But my love... if he fails you'll be lost to me forever. Not only that but Yugi will too. Don't think I could take that. I might do something drastic, like jump off the balcony into the ocean below, or blow my brains out with Croquet's 9 mil. I might do all that if I lose you.
Way to lay a guilt trip, Jou.
A guilt trip to a lover who is no longer there.
My hands are already shaking, but the others think that's just because I'm pissed at Pegasus. But I'm missing you. I want to be held. I want your strong, pale arms around me and your low voice whispering in my ear. I want to succumb to your tiny pleasures and melt in your embrace. But now as I'm watching this duel, I know that's not possible.
And I wonder who's the clown—Pegasus, or me...
R&R