"Well, damnit, Jim! How the hell I was I supposed to react? One moment I've got Pike sending me down to observe some potential replacement for Cadaya, and the next thing I know I've got some ridiculous surgeon throwing me out on my ass!"
McCoy slammed his hand down lightly in full exasperation, his southern drawl a spiking roughly through the offended words. Beside him on the bar counter, Captain Jim Kirk laughed heartily and took a long swig of his beer. Surprisingly, the place was fairly empty for a Friday night. There was the odd cadet milling around mixed in with the locals, but nothing - or no one that caught his fancy.
"I'm tellin' ya Bones, it's not worth getting upset about." The older man viewed Kirk with an incredulous glare.
"That's why you spent the better half of ten minutes moaning about some routine injection?"
Kirk glowered ruefully into his glass in response. "That's different! You don't just go around injecting people—" He cut off his sentence realizing his audience was inclined to disagree. "Whatever." Taking another swig, Jim's blue eyes measured McCoy's carefully. He knew full well that his amusement towards the mishap was only infuriating the man further, which was quite frankly by this point a side-benefit. However, Bones was first and foremost his friend, who just so happened to wield injections of his own; and so he decided that alleviating the situation was probably the wisest course of action. This probably would have proceeded better had he not been slightly drunk.
"Did you ever think that maybe they..." He had to pause to remember what McCoy had said earlier. "Maybe they didn't know you were coming?" As much as he could see the ire in Bone's slight mouth twitch, he could also see the doctor considering his option.
Didn't think of that.
"Even if she hadn't known, it doesn't excuse her behavior."
At this, Jim couldn't quite hold back the snort of irony.
"Yeah, 'cause we all know your bedside manner is downright chipper!"
McCoy effectively decided the captain had consumed enough alcohol for the evening and stood from his stool to wrap a burly arm under Jim's and yank him away from the counter.
"Alright, that's enough out of you."
"Hey, hey...take it easy Bones!"
The doctor rolled his eyes.
"Jim, you're six deep, and Pike wants to meet with you in the morning."
The captain groaned in response.
"Forgot about that."
The Admiral had approached him earlier in the day, shortly after his trip to the medbay. Similar to McCoy's interaction with their former commander, Pike had explained that he had a candidate in mind for the crew. As McCoy began to escort the rather inebriated captain towards their guest quarters, Jim took the time to recall the encounter.
"Jim."
Kirk had turned his attention from a nearby female cadet and smiled welcomingly at the approach of the familiar figure.
"Admiral Pike. Good to see you up and walking again."
The Admiral nodded passively in response to the reference. "It's coming along." The extent of his injuries were not his most favored memory, nor were they the intention behind his presence.
"Walk with me."
Kirk nodded and fell into step with the older man.
"It's weird being back here, you know."
Pike cracked a smile.
"I hear you've been keeping the engineering students entertained."
Kirk shrugged. "Scotty's got a thing for flashy presentations." Sensing that the Admiral had a motive beyond trivial conversation, the captain remained silent permitting Pike to speak fully.
"Jim, I wanted to let you know that I'm going to be to placing an officer aboard the Enterprise."
The younger captain said nothing but continued to look expectantly.
"I had her records transfered over to your PADD earlier. I believe you'll find a suitable fit for your science officer position in due time."
"In due time? With respect, Admiral, that is not a position that should endure a prolonged wait to be filled."
"I'm not arguing that. However, I think we're both aware of Commander Spock's capabilities in the area for now. This young woman is exceptionally talented, and I assure you that she would be a welcomed addition to any crew."
Kirk crossed his arms as Pike halted his stride, bringing them both to a standstill.
"Then why the Enterprise?"
"Because, Jim, I trust her under your leadership."
Pike folded his hands behind his back formally. "As she has medical training, she'll be serving as McCoy's second in command until you deem her ready to fully join you on the bridge. I assure you, she'll be a good fit."
"I trust your judgment, Sir."
"Good."
Jim had simply watched as the Admiral strode away with a muted curiosity. Had it been any other commander, Kirk likely would have fought a crew placement without his expressed approval. However, Pike's tone made it evident that he saw something in her.
James T. Kirk was no stranger to that tone.
"Do you remember the code to your room?"
Presently, Jim was vaguely aware of their arrival to his quarters. "Damnit, Jim. Stand up straight! I'm not a bloody wall, you know."
"Shhh."
Jim held up a finger weakly to his lips and gave McCoy a sloppy grin. The doctor groaned and entered the medical officer's override function, and began to haul his friend inside.
"Jim, what the hell is wrong with you? I've seen you down twice as much without acting like such an infant." McCoy's query was perplexed hiss.
The captain was vaguely aware of the fact that his vision was growing slowly hazy. A foggy recollection began to poke at him from the back of his mind while the good doctor led him over to his bed. "You know, Bones...I think that doctor lady may have said something about drinking."
McCoy stared down at him with a calculated silence. "What kind of something, Jim?"
"Maybe don't do it for a while. I don't remember. She sure was pretty!"
McCoy cursed viciously under his breath and then sighed.
"Do you remember what she gave you?"
It was becoming painfully evident that Jim was losing control on consciousness, but with a giddy ignorance that would put most five year olds to shame.
"Something about fungi...Mo.."
"Moridian fungi." Bones raked a hand through his hair and crossed his arms. "You're not supposed to consume alcohol for eight hours. Since you're just under that you should be fine, but you're going to wake up with one hell of a hangover in the-"
Leonard looked down to find his friend utterly unconscious and snoring.
"Morning." He finished the statement blandly. Satisfied that Jim was in no immediate danger, he decided to take some time to clear his head before returning to his own quarters. The door of Jim's room granted him exit with a quiet hiss, and McCoy left the captain behind to face the consequence of his error.
"Spock, you look troubled."
In the darkness of his quarters, Uhura placed a gentle hand upon the chest of her Vulcan and gazed upon him with questioning eyes.
"I doubt my physical appearance is significantly altered due to any emotional state, Nyota."
His eyes closed and she could feel the coolness of his exhaling breath brush across her skin.
"I apologize. I did not mean to dismiss your inquiry so harshly."
"Spock..."
Her hands found his face and tilted it softly down towards her.
"What is it?
The Vulcan left a long silence between the second question and his reply.
"It is odd; being back on Earth." Nyota waited patiently for him to explain.
"It is my home, as was Vulcan. Yet it is only so as it is the place my mother originated from." He paused to look out the window of the rather sparsely decorated quarters. The moon had risen in full that evening.
"At times, I wonder if my mother ever felt similarly about Vulcan."
Nyota took his hand and rested her head against his shoulder.
"You miss her." It was not a question.
His silence was her confirmation.
Uhura separated herself from his body with a small sigh. It had been two years. Two very long years. While she knew he was strong, so unbelievably strong, it pained her to know that he still could not let her in fully. As though he sensed her wavering confidence, Spock turned from the window and gathered her in an uncharacteristic loose embrace, touching his forehead to hers.
"The fault is not yours, Nyota."
The acknowledgement was barely a breath above a whisper and her eyes closed with his.
"I am sorry, Spock. I wish Nero had never succeeded"
"As do I. But what we desire shall never be so."
He did not need to view her to see her features contort with empathetic pain. The two remained as statues for a moment, and then the ebony skinned woman pulled away with a weak smile.
"I'll leave you to your thoughts."
The Vulcan nodded his thanks, and she left with a grace he admired. She had stood by his side so patiently, and though he wished to share with her, he knew his father's words long ago were not inaccurate.
"Emotions run deep within our race, Spock."
Nothing ran deeper than the loss of his mother. The murder of his mother. He had been so close, so close to saving her. In the end, he had failed her. Even in the sanctuary of his private quarters, the only indication of the searing despair that clutched his heart at the memory was the briefest of twitches in his hands.
Spock, you shall remain collected.
His chest rose and fell rapidly for a moment, and then the Vulcan within him took control.
Earth.
It was a troublesome place for him now. For the first time in his thirty years, he found himself aware of the fact that he was on a planet full of people who had more in common with his mother than he as her son ever had. Even with the understanding that the notion lacked logical grounding, it was a thought that wounded his heart.
Even so, the past is not something capable of rectification. I have domain only over what is present.
Folding both hands behind his back, Spock padded slowly back to the window and stared out upon the section of land available for viewing from his standpoint. Though it was not within his immediate sight, the commander knew he was not far from a stretch of road marred with its own misfortune.
It has been four years, and as with my tragedy, all trace has faded from being.
He had never understood the desperate avoidance of the young woman he'd saved that night. Nor had he understood the overwhelming fear that he had felt spindling through her being as he'd touched her. Even barely living, the emotions pouring through the tiny woman he'd held in his arms had left the then young professor curiously overwhelmed.
Until now. Now he knew the fear stemmed from a love deeper than his Vulcan side had dared explore. He knew, at least to some extent the pain that must have overtaken her completely. Yet, here she was. Once again so close to where she'd lost so much. Stronger, or so the Admiral had said. This was something he did not intrinsically understand. It did not make sense to return to a site of anguish.
Spock's brown eyes locked upon the moon for a moment and something deep inside of him sighed.
Yes, the illogical function of her actions was fascinating.
I must be losing my mind.
Kathryn paced the floor of her quarters in a frantic whirl of overwhelmed emotions. Her lose waves of copper red swayed gently across her shoulders with each stepped. If she weren't a doctor she'd have been more concerned about the wild beating of her heart.
Katie. Slow down. Just slow down.
Her pacing stalled leaving her leaning with her back against the nearest wall. The coolness of the structure calmed her slightly, and with a great sigh, the soon to be officer slid slowly to the floor cradling one knee against her chest and allowing her other leg to sprawl freely.
You need this Kathryn.
The voice in her head carried wisdom to the scared little girl raging in her heart. Three years. Three years she'd been here. Three years she'd spent picking up the pieces of the past. The prospect of leaving again frightened and excited her more than she wanted to admit.
*Bzzz bzzzz bzzzzzzzzz*
"What now?"
Picking herself up off the floor, Kathryn made her way to the nearest table to silence her offending PADD. A brush of her pointer finger prompted the device to display an awaiting message notification. Frowning, she decided to let the disruption wait.
Turning her attention back to the situation at hand, the young doctor surveyed her surroundings with a nostalgic whim.
These walls had been her haven for long enough. They had seen her broken and emotionally decrepit. They saw a side of her she no longer wished to allow existence.
You always knew that you couldn't stay here.
It was the truth. Yes, returning to the academy was a place to start. When she had arrived, she had been utterly lost and confused. Now, though she hadn't a clue where she belonged in this universe, Kathryn knew her soul needed more than a weak escape.
But am I ready? Am I truly ready to leave everything I have here behind?
A harsh laugh tore from her throat abruptly. What did she have? Yes, she had a family here in Pike, and a job she truly loved, but she also had the skeletons of her loss looming overhead.
You're as ready as you can be, Kathryn.
Turning, she raked a pale but steadying hand through her red waves and made her way to the one possession she held dear. Clutching the small frame within her hands, Katie gazed upon the photo she'd kept with her since the accident.
It had been take four years ago, by a cadet she'd never met before her family filed into the car for their weekly outing. Three smiling figures peered back at her.
"Come on, Kathryn. We're celebrating! I want something to remember this day!"
"Dad, please, we're going to be late for our reservation. We can always take a photo when we get back!"
Edwin had smiled wryly and shook his head.
"Now where's your sense of adventure, Kathryn? Get over here and make your old man happy!"
"How does a taking a photo have anything to do with a sense of adventure?"
"Katie, really, it would mean the world to us."
The gentle prodding of her mother caused the red-haired graduate to throw up her hands in mock exasperation with a good natured grin.
"Fine, fine! But don't blame me if we don't get a table!"
Four hours later, she'd lost everything that moment had meant.
The faces of her mother and father stared back at her with a love and pride so pure it churned her very being, and Kathryn knew her insecurity had been trumped. This would be no easy journey, but it was one she had to make. Emotionally raw and exhausted, she took a quick glance towards her bed and knew it would remain empty for the time being. Her soul was too conflicted.
I need some fresh air.
Careful hands set the photo back in its proper spot, and Kathryn spent a final moment enthralled by it's memory. Blinking back tears of frustration, the doctor stole out of her room and into the quiet of the night.
Thankfully, Kathryn found herself peacefully alone as exited the faculty wing of the academy and strolled purposefully towards one of the more secluded area. She was almost surprised by the sheer emptiness of the campus, and then she recalled the day. No doubt the students were holed up in the various establishments neighboring the campus, letting off some steam.
At least I'll have some peace and quiet out here.
Her stride lost its purpose as the threat of being interrupted waned. Instead, her focus drifted to the vastness of the night sky and the shimmer of the blanket of stars above.
As a cadet, the outdoors had been her retreat during times of heavy stress. How fitting then, that she should find herself retracing old steps.
Then again, what about the last while hasn't been retracing old steps?
A wry smile crossed her lips despite the chill of the night air washing across her thin frame. Yes, if Kathryn was completely honest with herself – as she preferred to be, she knew at least in part why she'd returned to Starfleet. It wasn't because it was the only place she could have turned. It was because it was the only place she'd wanted to.
Eleven years she'd spent on these grounds before she'd lost her parents. They were years full of joy and purpose. It seemed that every time she turned a corner here, she could see her former-self doing the same. The comfort that brought was odd, yet unsurpassable.
Settling down onto a nearby bench, one of her old haunts, Kathryn took in the sight of the ocean and the stars, and then closed her eyes and let her memory shift into control.
The Starfleet campus she began to see in her mind was a place of challenge and growth. She saw old friends, smelled the golden scent of fall and spring, recalled the many nights spent in this exact spot. Kathryn's senses could recount each and every moment she'd spent here, and it made her heart glow with the feeling of home.
How could she have gone anywhere else to find herself, when all she ever was and dreamt of being belonged so very much to this place?
This has, and always will be my home.
The knowledge swept warmth through her core. As much as her heart smiled with recognition, it ached with longing.
But I can't stay here forever. If I never leave, I'll never leave my wounds behind.
Yes, for all the comfort in the world, she knew it was challenge that would save her. Her eyes flickered open and glimmered with the kindle of a hope waiting to be ignited.
Chris wouldn't have asked me if he didn't know I could do it. I have to let myself leap. Again.
She'd done it once, and not for a second had she regretted leaving the barren desert behind. Maybe, just maybe she'd find the same release this time.
Kathryn stood and began to turn only to abruptly feel her face collide with a warm, solid object.
What the hell!
She was aware of a masculine grunt and what sounded like a stumble as she herself tipped backwards and sprawled none too delicately across the grass.
"Cadet, I strongly suggest that you watch where you are going!" A small hand cradled her nose, and she felt herself being pulled from the ground in a steady grip before her spinning head had begun to settle.
"Careful, now...you hit- I'll be damned"
Kathryn's eyes flew open at the sound of a very familiar voice.
"You!"
The singular word exited her lips in a hiss and she threw off the hands that had been supporting her before thrusting out her own in an accusatory manner.
Doctor McCoy took in the sight of what appeared to be a very disheveled young woman. He knew that look well enough from his days as an academy physician. Leonard felt what his rational side wanted to call a pang of sympathy quickly being replaced by exasperation courtesy of his not so rational side.
"It's bad enough that you waltz in on a private surgery, but then scaring me half to death? Just what the fuck is your problem!"
"My problem!"
Leonard threw up his hands in sheer frustration before pointing his own finger at the petite ball of fury before him.
"Listen up, Red. I don't know what on God's green earth your problem is. All I know is that I'm being terrorized by some crazy woman who calls herself a doctor because I did what I was told!"
The second he spat the words out at her, McCoy regretted the harshness in his tone. A look of hurt crossed her features and he felt his gut kick him sharply in the ass. Then, those eyes, the palest shade of blue he'd ever encountered, raged at him with a fire that made him brace for an all out assault.
"You think I'm crazy? At least I don't go sneaking up on women at night!"
Kathryn's voice was hoarse with disbelief. Her hands found her hips and her head dipped as she tried to calm herself.
Don't start a fight. It's not his fault; it's not your fault. Just fix it.
Leonard watched in stunned silence as the young woman in front of him took what appeared to take a deep breath and exhaled slowly, turning her back to him and staring up at the sky.
"So now you're just going to ignore me?"
"No." There was a dangerous edge to her response, and as the striking redhead turned to face him again, it became evident that she was attempting to exercise control.
"Frankly, I'm trying to sympathize with the fact that you weren't aware of your error when you barged in earlier." Trying was given an obvious emphasis.
"You have a common practice of threatening senior officers?"
McCoy's quip was awarded with an icy glare that stopped him in his tracks.
"McCoy, isn't it?"
Leonard nodded. For all his anger, he could feel the sympathy creeping back as he viewed the tiredness in her eyes. "I don't believe I was ever provided with your name, Doctor." He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the anger that still remained in her stance.
Kathryn eyed him for a second longer before relaxing the arms she'd crossed defensively and responding. He was playing nice. That she could deal with.
"Page. Doctor Kathryn Page."
She could feel the startled anger draining, leaving her with a tired submission.
"Listen," Sighing softly she broke her intense gaze on the man to look for any observers and then returned to her ill-formed explanation. "I owe you an apology for earlier." The pause dared him to make a retort. Leonard was half tempted, but the passionate ire in her eyes swayed him otherwise.
"I didn't know that Pike had suggested you observe. Had it been brought up with me, I would have made different arrangements. My patient this afternoon was a young woman who, without betraying confidentially agreements... "
Was that sadness in her eyes? McCoy could feel his own cantankerous resentment quelling. He still clasped begrudgingly to a few remaining strains and waited for her to continue.
"My patient required a specific team, and allowing you to remain present would had circumvented a promise I had made to her previously."
Leonard was surprised to see the hostility drop out of her stance; the woman who stood before him now carried a very different air of regret.
"Even so, I should not have assumed that you were intending to breech that promise, nor that you were aware of the miscommunication that evidently transpired. While I wouldn't have allowed you to remain regardless, I should not have ejected you so abrasively, and so for that you have my sincere apology."
Well, shit.
McCoy stared silently for a solid three seconds, confounded at the woman's ability to switch from a furious accusation to genuine remorse simultaneously. More so than that, he found himself admiring her ethics as a physician. Leonard knew himself well enough as a doctor to know that had he been in her position, he likely would have reacted the same.
"I suppose I owe you an apology myself." The words tasted bittersweet as they exited. "I shouldn't have insulted you just now. You were doing your job, and protecting your patient. I have to respect you for that."
She offered him a wry smile and shook her head, which threw him further off guard.
"Don't worry about it. It's my own fault."
Leonard raked a relieved hand through his hair and looked around casually.
"What are you doing out here at this time of night anyhow?"
Kathryn cocked an eyebrow at his query.
"I could ask you the same question." Shrugging, she opted to give him a fair answer.
"It's been a long day. I wanted some fresh air.
McCoy nodded his understanding. The notion was something he was all too familiar with.
"So, if you've talked to the Admiral, is it safe for me to assume you're aware of my reasons for...attempting to observe?"
She mirrored his earlier response and bobbed her head softly.
"Yes."
"Well then, I guess it's for the best that be put this incident behind us, isn't it?"
Though his face was serious, Kathryn could sense the lack of mirth behind the offer. Before she could formulate a response, the elder doctor posed a further question.
"You usually take your job as seriously as you did today?"
"Always."
The sincerity in Kathryn's answer pulled the smallest of smiles from McCoy as he extended a hand in a gesture of peace.
"Then it's going to be a pleasure working with you, Doctor."
She took his hand in a grasp that was both gentle and strong.
"I promise to avoid berating you further, Sir."
Leonard cocked an eyebrow and help up his spare hand while releasing hers.
"Don't worry about me, Red. It's the Captain you're going to have to help me keep in line."
She bit her tongue at the second use of the moniker. It was the least she could do given the fact that she'd tongue lashed him twice in a twenty-four hour period. Kirk on the other hand...
"Oh, I think Kirk and myself will get on just fine."
McCoy's brow furrowed in confusion and she waved it off casually. Exhaustion was beginning to set in rapidly, and her body pleaded for its bed. Stifling a yawn, Kathryn took one last look out at the ocean and then back at her fellow doctor.
"It's late, I should return to my quarters and rest."
Leonard nodded. "I can escort you, if you'd like."
He was only half surprised when she shook her head.
"Thank you, but no. I'm not that far away."
He conceded with a dip of his head.
"Good night, Doctor."
He watched her fading figure for a few moments before shaking his head in disbelief.
"Unbelievable."
The sentiment was muttered under his breath, and the good doctor turned and went towards his own quarters with a tired of what to make of young woman he'd just encountered Leonard found himself a very confused man.
Pike had better know what he's doing, throwing doctors aboard ships. I'll be surprised if Jim even approves it. Aw, hell...what am I talkin' about? 'Course he'll let a girl on the ship.
The latter thought evoked a wide smile as the man suddenly placed his friend's earlier complaints to the face he'd just encountered.
Well now, maybe she won't be so bad to have on board after all.
Katie reentered her room significantly more at peace than she had been when she left.
And at least that damn mess is cleared up.
The doctor ventured across her quarters and progressed through her nightly ritual before bed before the dull chime of her PADD reminded her of it's earlier alert.
Alright, alright.
Katie made her way towards the table clad in a paisley nightgown that complimented the milk like quality of her skin, and the redness of her hair. The ground was cool beneath her bare feet. Claiming her device, the young woman proceeded to access the awaiting message.
You made the right decision.
Dad always said you belonged up there in the stars.
How Ben knew was beyond her comprehension, but she did not doubt Pike's involvement. It had been years since she'd seen her brother, and his words awakened a strong comfort in her soul. Knowing her reply would be answerless; she sent what she always did when he contacted her:
Be safe. I love you.
Katie placed the PADD back on the table with a small yawn and made the quick trek back to her bedroom.
The moment the covers slid over her body, her body drifted into a dreamless sleep.