The next few nights were lonely. He locked his door every time and made sure I didn't slip in beforehand. I couldn't even sleep on my pillow regularly anymore, needing it to my side, pressing my head to it and one arm draped over lazily. Every morning I awoke with my face shoved into the soft fabric, curious as to where Kazuto went. Then I would remember the night before, every night this week, his excruciating screaming from a locked room that I couldn't enter. Somehow our...my… mother never woke. Probably because their room was downstairs.
I couldn't take it anymore, feeling so useless to someone in such pain. "Kazuto!" I almost shouted as I whipped my door open, having staked out when he was planning to retire. I cleared my throat. "Kazuto," I said lighter. He jumped at my sudden presence, hand on his knob, back facing me.
"Y...Yes, Sugu?" he asked quietly, unsure of my intentions. For all he knew, I was going to deck him after what happened last week.
"Please look at me..." I began my very planned speech. I noticed him avoiding my gaze ever since the incident and I knew that he wanted to hide from his shame, not remember what he did.
"...Yes, Sugu?" His voice was weaker as his body turned. His eyes flitted around my body, before finally landing on my face. If I didn't know better I'd say he was checking me out, but I did.
"I understand how hard it must be, surviving something so cruel," I continued my spiel, "and I also know that you don't want to burden us...me, with something that troubling. But..." my eyes had already welled up, my voice becoming undone as my carefully thought out words were haphazardly thrust out. "I can't take it anymore Kazuto. You need to talk to someone... I need you to talk to someone... I need..." I sobbed mid-sentence. "Please, just talk to me!" I almost screamed at him, his gaze breaking as he cringed from my verbal attack. "I can't take knowing *sniff* how much p-p-pain you're in. It hurts me to see you suffer..." My voice dropped to a whisper, "I love you... Onii-chan."
He stood there silently, staring at the wall to my left as I tried to dry my ever moistening eyes.
The silence lingered and I was about to yell for him to say something when he finally did, "I'm sorry... Sugu. I didn't know I was causing you so much trouble..." He paused... seeming to ponder something important. "Are...you sure you want to know..? I..." his voice cut out as he shook from his own memories.
"Yes." I replied simply.
Not moving, he stood there looking at the same spot. Eventually, he nodded to the wall, took my hand, and led me into his room.