Disclaimer: We don't own it. Otherwise, Padfoot and Prongs would still be alive. And so would Moony. But he still is. So yeah. And Wormtail wouldn't be. ThoughI suppose that would somewhat diminish the effect of the Boy Who Lived part of the story, huh? Oh well..

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! You're my FAVORITE people EVER!

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Have Some Soup

It was an average night in the Gryffindor common room. Three fifth years lounged around on couches near the fire. Moony was reading intently with a 4ft pile of books to his left. Wormtail was passed out in front of the fire. Padfoot was flicking lighted matches at Moony's books, in the offhanded hope one would catch fire.

Moony: where did you get the matches, Padfoot?

Padfoot: the same guy who gave me candy.

Moony: Merlin- didn't your parents ever teach you to run if someone tried to lure you into the car?

Padfoot: Nah, my mom told me to take the ride because I had no hope of doing well in life.

Moony: the mystery of Padfoot is beginning to unravel.

Padfoot: Prongs and I decided that we only get in the car if it's Laffy Taffy, Atomic fireballs, or chocolate.

Moony: How lovely. Prongs has been picked up too.

Prongs storms into the Common Room holding an empty bowl of soup and passed out Lily in his arms.

Moony: I see a story forming here.

Prongs: PADFOOT!

Padfoot, who is kneeling over the sleeping Wormtail and burning off his eyebrows, looks up.

Padfoot: Yep?

Prongs: first of all, I hit an all time low.

Moony: You took advice from Padfoot?

Prongs: No. Well, yes. But Lily turned me down in Spanish!

Moony: What did she say?

Prongs: consiga perdido, perdedor

Padfoot: Get lost loser! Ha. That IS funny!

Moony and Prongs stare. For a long time. A VERY long time.

Moony: Padfoot, do you know how to speak Spanish?

Padfoot: Duh. Who doesn't know how to?

Moony: well…me. And Prongs and Wormtail.

Padfoot: I'm smarterer than Moony! I knew this day would come!

Prongs: No you're not! Lily was supposed to fall in love with me, not pass out!

Moony: I told you. I DID see a story forming there. Please explain.

Prongs: Well, I wanted to have Lily fall in love with me, so I-

Moony: You asked PADFOOT? Merlin's beard!

Prongs: Shut up! I was desperate. So anyway, I asked Padfoot. So he told me to-

Padfoot: I told him to give Evans some spiked soup.

Moony: I am really starting to wonder why I hang out with you guys.

Padfoot: Because you have no other friends and all the big boys would beat you up on the playground. Now, shush, Auntie Padfoot is telling a story. Anyway, I concocted the soup myself and added love potion to the chicken noodle soup. It should have worked! Prongs, did Evans drink the whole bowl?

Prongs: Yeah, and the minute she finished I asked her out. She said no in Espanol, stood up, and passed out.

Padfoot: hmmm…unless. Quick Prongs, I had two pots of soup on my stove in the dormitory. Which one did you take?

Moony: Since when do we have an oven in our bedroom?

Prongs: Shut up. Um, I think I took the pot on the left because it was clam chowder, Evans' favorite.

Moony: You know her favorite SOUP?

Padfoot: You complete and total retard! The clam chowder was the knock out soup, the chicken noodle the love potion!

Prongs: Oh…when she will wake up?

Padfoot: hmmm…three, maybe eight days.

Prongs: WHAT?

Padfoot: It was a really strong batch mate. I gave the same to Wormtail, and he'll wake up in about an hour. A light sleeper, he is.

Moony: What kind of soup did you say it was?

Padfoot: Clam chowder.

Moony: Merlin. I had clam chowder at dinner!

Padfoot: Oh yeah…sometimes I sell my soup to the house elves. Whoops.

Moony: Yeah, whoops! ( He then passes out, muttering about killing Padfoot)

Prongs: what is that smell?

Padfoot: oooh! I almost forgot my batch of cookies! Who wants some?

Moony and Wormtail are both unconscious.

Prongs: I am never eating anything you cook again!

And with that Prongs threw Lily on the ground and strode out. A few minutes later, Lily wakes up.

Lily: Where am I?

Padfoot: You're in Never Land!

Lily: Oh. Well good night, Black.

Padfoot: buena noche, muchacha

Lily faints again. Wormtail regains consciousness.

Wormtail: why are my eyebrows gone?

Padfoot: Ask Prongs.

And with that, Padfoot strode to his bedroom to share his cookies with absolutely no one.

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A/N: You know you wanna leave a review. You know you wanna.