Summary: Roy is captured and tortured and Edward willingly offers to help Mustang to recover from his injuries but he never expected how close they'd grow in that time or the risk that Roy's captors were to his own life and to the lives of everyone he cares for.
Rating: M - Check each chapter for the individual warnings about what it contains.
Warning: None.
AN: I'm updating every 10 days or so and things are looking promising with the lack of writers block. The end of this month I start my long stretch of 21 weeks on work placement in hospitals, and since its my final year I may be slower in updating due to the stresses of this. Don't fret too much though, I'm currently working on chapter 9. Thank you to all of you that are still reading and a very special thanks to those that are reviewing. Enough from me though - that's not why any of you are here after all. Here's chapter 4.
Chapter 4
"I did what?" Ed asked, staring at his commanding officer in shock. Mustang had dreamt that he'd killed him? Mustang had had a nightmare about Edward Elric being a killer? He had starred in Roy's dreams. He found himself laughing before he had any control over stopping himself. He hadn't heard anything so ridiculous in his life. Of all the people to play the part of murderer in Roy's mind, it had been Edward? The blonde managed to calm himself when he saw that Mustang wasn't laughing with him.
In fact, Mustang wasn't even looking at him any more. The dark haired man sat upright in the bed with his head bowed slightly and his black bangs covering his face. Ed watched him for a moment and noticed that Mustang's hands, despite being clenched, were shaking and showed Ed the obvious signs that the dream still had a hold over some of Roy's emotions. The man was struggling to control himself in front of Edward.
Ed suddenly found himself reaching out to take Roy's wrist with his human hand. Roy always wore a mask to hide his feelings. Even during their arguments, it was clear that Mustang was hiding behind a mask. It was different from his cool stoic one, but it hide his vulnerabilities just as well, and now, just this once, Edward had stumbled upon the man before all his façades were in place and it intrigued Edward. He felt himself being pulled into this new mystery that was his superior officer. Ed stood up and moved to sit on the side of Roy's bed, slightly trance like.
Roy watched him carefully. His shaking had all but stopped with his mind distracted. Ed shifted his hand from Roy's wrist into his hand and curled their fingers together. Edward offered Roy a small smile, which he returned even as his brow creased in confusion. "Roy, don't be stupid. You know that I wouldn't kill someone, even you." Ed said softly, silently adding especially you. "I'd never hurt you Mustang, and I'd definitely would never drown you. Where would that thought even come from?"
Roy didn't answer Ed straight away. The silence lasted so long that Ed was beginning to feel tense and embarrassed because he still held Roy's hand. Just as he'd decided to let go and move off the bed, Roy tightened his grip slightly and, still not making eye contact, spoke in the softest of whispers. "They did it."
Ed heard the words clearly, despite how quiet they were spoken and it felt like ice had been tossed over him. His eyes widened in shock as he processed Roy's words and then he narrowed them slightly, giving Roy's hand a quick squeeze. "They... They drowned you?" Ed asked carefully. Roy hadn't spoken about what had happened. He hadn't even mentioned it in passing and now that he'd opened up this little bit Edward didn't want to scare him off, but he wanted to know more about what had happened. Roy's hand was shaking again – but there was no way of Ed telling if it was from the memories or the nerves of talking about it.
"They held my head under water... over and over again. And they made me think I was drowning by putting a wet cloth in my mouth." Roy mumbled, still not looking at Ed. The blonde noticed that Roy was embarrassed. He was ashamed of his nightmare, and he was ashamed that he'd been tortured. Ed's heart clenched painfully at how vulnerable Roy seemed just now. "They eventually stopped when I stopped fighting them." Ed tightened his grip on Roy's hand subconsciously as he heard the anger and pain in his tone. Roy always came across as untouchable, but now this unknown group of men had stormed into their lives, taken Roy and ripped away all his defences, leaving behind a shell of the man he had once been, desperate for something to hide his shame behind.
"I'll never let them touch you again." Ed whispered to Roy in the silence that followed, showing that Roy wasn't going to share anything else. Roy looked up at Ed then. The blonde's tone shocked him. He was quiet but his tone held so much passion that Roy couldn't doubt Edward's words. It was fierce and protective and completely loyal and it make Roy's heart stutter. He met the determined look in Edward's eyes – it was the same fiery look from that first meeting, and he watched, intrigued, as Ed gave him a small, warm smile. Roy was suddenly aware of Ed - really aware. He was aware of Edward's smell, the way his eyes twinkled when he smiled, the way that their hands fit perfectly together. It all made his mouth go dry and his heart thumped its appreciation of the young man that sat on the bed across from him. The memories of his dream, of Ed's lips against his own, were still fresh in Roy's willing mind and he took a moment to smother the lust he felt and returned Edward's smile.
Edward knew that Roy wasn't going to say any more about his torture just yet, but he'd opened up that little bit. The first steps were always the worst and it would get easier for Roy to tell Ed more later on. Edward gave Roy another quick squeeze of the hand and then stood up. "I need to get back to the office. They've got me helping with all your work." Ed groaned and Roy smirked smugly at him. "I'll come by later, okay?"
"Okay." Roy said. Ed hesitated, clearly not wanting to leave. Roy couldn't blame him, the paperwork wasn't something anybody really wanted to rush back to. "You should go, Ed. You don't want to keep Hawkeye waiting." He watched as Ed shuddered slightly. He'd known Hawkeye for years. She would be taking all the weight of the work and she'd be worried sick about him. No doubt she was stressed. If the thought of keeping the women waiting inspired fear or discomfort into the young man then she was clearly running the office very strictly. He returned Ed's small wave and watched the blonde leave before he slumped back in his bed.
Roy stared down at his hand. Edward had held it without any second thoughts. The touch had managed to calm the nerves that lingered from the nightmare. How had he done that with a simple touch? How had he made it seem so normal? Since when did he feel safe with Edward Elric? Roy let out a groan and covered his face with his hand. It must be those dreams. He was delusional. He had to be.
Edward sat in the office with the rest of the team and a pile of papers in front of them. Since Roy went missing, Hawkeye had taken control of the office and everyone was secretly thankful for it. They had each taken over completing what they could of Roy's paperwork, but the pile of what they didn't have the rank to complete was beginning to grow. Edward stared at his pile of work and let out a small sigh. He was sure that his work was breeding over night. It never seemed to go down, and it was all so boring. He now knew why Roy would do anything to get out if it.
Roy. Edward longed to go back to the hospital and sit with Roy. He was constantly concerned and always felt uneasy when he wasn't sitting by the man's bed., seeing for himself that he was returning to his old self. Injuries were still healing, and he was still far from perfect again, but he was getting there. He'd be out of the hospital soon. Ed hadn't been sleeping well recently because of his concern and obsession with finding out who had went after Roy. Al would often hear Ed get up in the middle of the night. He slipped into Ed's room on one such occasion and found his brother reading alchemy notes that he'd read countless times before.
"What are you doing, brother?" Al had asked, catching Edward's attention.
"I'm reading." Ed replied without looking up from the book in his hands. He heard the soft pad of feet on his floor as Al come closer.
"Brother, its 3 in the morning, and you've read all these books enough times to memorise them. Why aren't you sleeping?" Al asked, crouching down at Ed's side. Edward lifted tired eyes from the book in his lap to look at his brother. He could see the faint traces of concern in Al's eyes and he smiled at his younger brother in an attempt to ease his worry.
"I couldn't sleep. Thought I'd read for a bit." He offered by explanation. It was a nightmare that woke him up. One inspired by the night that they tried to bring their mother back. It was the worry for Roy that kept him up though. Usually after a nightmare, once the panic had faded, he could slip back into an uneasy sleep, but not recently. Thoughts and feelings all revolving around Roy kept him restless and awake. So in response to this, Ed had crawled from his bed and now sat in amongst piles of books.
Al sighed and easily pried the book from loose fingers. He closed it, added it to the top of a pile close to him and then stood up. He held a hand out to help pull Ed up. The older Elric groaned as his muscles screamed at the movement and he was suddenly very aware of how stiff he felt. He'd overdone it again. He stifled a yawn and Al laughed at him. Al led his brother to the bed and gently pushed him onto it. Ed obeyed and crawled under the covers, curling a hand over his mouth when he yawned again. "Get some sleep, brother." Al said softly, waiting for Ed's nod of agreement before turning to leave. He knew that his older brother was worried about Mustang, but he didn't want to bring the man up when Ed seemed worry-free. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight Al." Ed mumbled, already drifting into sleep. He was so far gone that he didn't even hear as Al shut the door.
Ed let out another sigh and dropped his head onto the desk. Why could he only think about Roy these days? And why was it always "Roy"? Ed had thought of him as bastard, or Mustang for as long as he'd known him. Of course, he'd known that he was called Roy, but he'd never been Roy, not to Ed. So why was he suddenly Roy?
"What's up, Chief?" Havoc asked, making Ed look up. He couldn't voice any of his inner thoughts. He hadn't even told Al any of them, although he suspected that his younger brother knew anyway. As innocent as Ed wanted to keep Al, his brother was wise and could often hear things where no words were spoken. He'd pick up on little cues that Ed never realised were there.
"Does the bastard always need to get such boring paperwork?" Ed muttered in reply to Havoc. He'd stick to safe ground, sighing due to boredom was expected in this office and his use bastard added to the expected. "I'm beginning to understand why he'll do anything to avoid it." That gained a laugh from Breda who was also deciding on a break while Hawkeye was out of the room. Havoc nodded in reply to Edward, and the blonde alchemist sighed again.
"I don't see why he needs to get all these stupid reports. None of them seem to be of any significance, to anyone." Ed complained again, dropping his head onto his arms. He was known for his ability to focus and tune out everything else. It wasn't unknown for Edward to forget to eat because he was so focused on some document, however, those were all research. Research into a way to get Al back, or alchemy research – as it had grown to be once Al was back in his body. Under no circumstance were those documents in any way similar to the ones that sat in front of him.
"Because these reports and requests must be authorised by someone of significant rank, Edward." Hawkeye's voice reached him from where she stood by the door. "You know that. We all get paperwork like this, even you. Since the General gets more than we do, its our duty to help him. He can't do these at the moment and he'll have enough to do when he gets back."
Ed sighed again and out of the corner of his eye he watched Breda and Havoc quickly return to their work. He knew that she was only speaking the truth – there was no way Roy would be able to catch up on all this work if they didn't all chip in and help – but it irked him. He didn't need another reminder of Roy's condition. He didn't want to remember finding him chained up like that, or the way he seemed to crave Edward's touch. He had been so broken and he had yet to talk about what happened. Would he ever open up? Surely he'd eventually tell someone. Hughes or Hawkeye maybe.
Or me. Would he tell me? He told me about the drowning thing. But he only did that because I was there when he woke up. Roy had been shaking; he was still terrified and he had needed someone to talk to. It could have been anybody. It could have been a nurse. It wasn't though, it was me and that made me feel special, didn't it? It felt like he trusted me. Does he trust me? Will he trust me enough to talk about what happened? Do I even want to know?
"Edward!" Hawkeye's voice tore through his internal dialogue. She was watching him closely and he realised that he'd zoned out. With a muttered apology, Edward set his dwindling attention back on his work.
Ed dropped into the sofa with a contented groan the moment he got home. He'd managed to finish all the paperwork Hawkeye had given him to do for Roy but he was beginning to fall behind on his own. His back and shoulder hurt from being slumped over the desk all day and his mind was numb from the blandness of his work. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back onto the cushioned back of the sofa.
It wasn't long until the door opening announced Al's return from school and Ed peeled his eyes open when he heard his brother enter the room. They shared a smile and a greeting as Al dropped his bag and coat by the desk near the door and then moved to sit next to Ed. "How was your day brother?" Al asked, smiling at Ed's groan.
"Don't Al, I don't want to ever have another day so fucking boring." Ed complained, tugging at his braid. "I don't know how he does it Al. All that paper work makes my brain turn to mush." He glared at his younger brother when Al laughed and watched as the younger male stood up.
"Come on brother. It sounds like you need to blow off steam."