Disclaimer: No ownership of iCarly.
Chapter 3
March 2
Freddie concentrated on the road as Carly beside him stared aimlessly out the window, watching the twilight kissed scenery coast by at a steady speed of 15 mph. She let out a heavy sigh and Freddie caught her movement out of the corner of his eye as she turned to face him.
"Freddie. That old woman with the walker just passed us. Do you plan on us actually getting to the carnival tonight?"
Freddie refused to turn his eyes away from the road as he flipped his turn signal on exactly 20 yards prior to his intended turn.
"I think we are putting ourselves in enough danger tonight Carly, no need to add reckless driving to the mix." He decreased his speed to a steady roll and eased into the right turn.
She huffed in mild annoyance. "Don't you think its time that you put aside your irrational fears of carnivals?"
"Irrational? I almost lost a finger!"
"She was a two foot tall 70 year old woman!"
"She was scary!" He let out an involuntary shudder at the memory.
She waved her arms and rolled her eyes. "Well, I'd be scary too if I was the shortest woman on earth and I lived in a cage with little boys poking at me all day!"
"She bit me! Do you know how many shots my mother gave me that night?"
Carly smirked but kindly remained quiet. She returned her gaze to the window and appeared content to watch the quaint colorful houses lazily pass by. Freddie cringed thinking about the night ahead of him. Growing up the son of Marissa Benson did not come without its side effects, one of the main ones being an overwhelming fear of---well of life, he admitted halfheartedly to himself. He sat up a little straighter in the driver seat. But he had good reason to fear carnivals. Carnivals were like the incestuous backwoods cousins of circuses – instead of ringleaders and tigers they had the world's fattest woman and the world's tiniest horse. His face morphed into a scowl - he blamed Sam for his current predicament.
Carly suddenly jerked up from her daze interrupting his thoughts. "Where are you going?" She asked.
Freddie's eyes flashed toward her face in confusion before quickly returning his attention to the road. "Ummm, to pick up Sam?" The confusion carried from his face to his voice.
"She doesn't need a ride. She told me she talked to you about it."
"Well, she didn't." Freddie stated matter-of-factly as he continued in the direction of Sam's house.
"Well, turn around. The carnival is on the other side of town." He could tell her exasperation was growing as she glanced at the time.
Freddie refused to meet her eyes or her tone. "We are almost there. Plus, Sam's not getting out of this. This whole iCarly carnival bit was her idea."
"She's coming to the carnival."
Freddie's cocked his head and his features folded over one another as he attempted to fully comprehend the situation. "But…wait, what?"
Carly took a long breath before facing her clueless friend. "She is coming to the carnival. She just doesn't need a ride. She went with Cameron earlier."
"Oh." Freddie looked ahead silently for several seconds. "Cameron Hanson?" He finally asked.
"Yeah." Carly examined Freddie for a long moment but to his own dismay she refused to offer any further details.
"Like on a date?"
She shrugged. "I guess. Who knows? I mean, its Sam. Her last date ended with semi-pornographic photographs and stolen undergarments."
"Yeah." Freddie locked his gaze on the road ahead as he swiftly made a U-turn, an illegal move that was not part of his usual driver repertoire, and made his way back towards downtown Seattle. He attempted to settle his anger. It made no sense to be so angry about this. So he drove a few miles out of his way -- Sam did this kind of stuff all the time. In fact, in the grand scheme of Sam issues, this was relatively harmless. But he was angry. Seriously angry. Cameron Hanson? Cameron-freakin-Hanson?
"Are you okay?" Carly finally asked after watching Freddie's expression grow angrier with each passing second.
"Yeah, I mean, it's just, Sam's so selfish!" He slapped the steering wheel for effect.
Carly rolled her eyes. "Yeah but you know, same leopard, same spots."
He grunted, trying to ignore the stinging in his palm. "I guess."
The rest of the car ride was spent in an uncomfortable silence. The old blue Volvo finally pulled into the carnival gates and Freddie parked on the farthest end of the lot. Carly got out quickly and he silently followed her to the carnival entrance as his camera bag bumped against his hip.
She looked around nervously and scanned the crowds of laughing families and over-pierced teens for several minutes. Freddie watched her, slightly confused but still too preoccupied by his inexplicable anger with Sam to fully concentrate on anything else. Finally, she turned back to face him. She bit her lip and looked up at him cautiously. "Sam was supposed to meet us here. I guess I'll call her and find out where she is."
"Of course." Freddie kicked an empty popcorn box in frustration. "We'll just wait around for Sam."
After hours of excitement and noise and crowds, the late night air was surprisingly cool and quiet. Sam shoved a piece of fried dough in her mouth and powdered sugar settled on her lips. She collapsed her head on Freddie's shoulder as they made their way through the parking lot.
"So tired." She mumbled through a mouthful of sweet dough.
Freddie shrugged her off and quickened his pace. Sam stared after him for a moment in confusion. He had ignored and insulted her all night. At first she thought it was just a slightly harsher version of their usual banter but the current sinking feeling in her stomach was leading her to believe that this situation was not going to just slowly creep away in between their countless jabs. She rolled her eyes and quickened her pace to match Freddie's long stride.
"What's with you?" She grabbed Freddie's arm and forced him to look at her.
"Nothing." He spat out in reply.
"Oh come on, you've been in a tizzy all night. Is it your time of the month?"
"Sam!" Freddie looked over to Carly for help, but she had settled against a car with her own funnel cake and was clearly just going to lean back and enjoy the show. He spun to face Sam, anger stretching out the veins in his neck and flushing his face. "You expect me and Carly to just be at your beck and call all the time! I am not your personal chauffeur!"
Sam took a half step back and crossed her arms over her chest. "I offer to drive." She replied in a bored tone.
"Not the point! You didn't even have the decency to tell me you didn't need a ride tonight."
"I told Carly! I figured you two would, oh I don't know, communicate" Sam swung her arms wildly between the two as she attempted to control her own growing anger. She looked up at Freddie "and I still don't see why you're getting so worked up Freddork. I have done way worse chiz than this."
Carly gave a little nod and grunt in agreement from her perch.
Freddie ignored both of them and continued yelling. "And then, after Carly and I drive all the way across town for no reason whatsoever, you don't even meet us when you said you would, and surprise, surprise, you forgot to charge your cell phone, so we have to search all over the carnival for you - amongst all the freaks and hicks, and your other kin!" Sam watched wordlessly as Freddie began to angrily pace in front of her. She hadn't seen him like this in a long time, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out why this had set him off.
"Freddie…"
"And why do we go through all of this? Because youwanted to spend some more time with Cameron Hanson so he could win you a stuffed alien at the freakin' ring toss!" He stopped pacing and stared back at her.
"Is that what this is all about?" Sam half laughed in disbelief. "You aren't mad at me because I'm irresponsible and selfish…"
"Yes I am!"
"You're mad because I was hanging out with Cameron Hanson!"
"No, I'm not!"
"You are so stupid."
"I'm not mad that you went out with that tool."
Sam lifted her eyebrows skeptically. "Tool?"
"Yes! Tool! Have you seen the walls in the boy's bathroom at Ridgeway? He tortures people via sharpie!"
Sam rolled her eyes and waved away his anger nonchalantly. "You're just mad because he said you were a mama's boy in ninth grade."
"No! He didn't say anything, he wrote 'Freddie Benson still breast feeds' on the bathroom wall – every week – for the entire year!"
Carly perked up. "Is that why people made suckling noises at you all the time?" She asked curiously.
Freddie briefly turned his attention to the brunette and Sam attempted unsuccessfully to choke back a laugh.
Freddie spun on her, steam practically billowing out of his ears and his eyes bulging out of his head.
"OH! So it's FUNNY! We'll see how funny you think it is when your precious Cameron writes about you on the bathroom wall. I can just see it now Sam Puckett is an insecure skunk bag who gives it up for fried chicken!" Freddie mimed writing out his words in the air between him and Sam.
She glared at him, the situation had quickly intensified and she was forcefully trying to hold herself back but Freddie was seriously toeing the line.
She narrowed her eyes and shoved her hands in her pockets, her half eaten funnel cake forgotten on the cool pavement beside her. "Is that really what you think Benson?" The words were said in a harsh and somewhat sarcastic manner to disguise the intensity behind the question.
He smiled in a taunting way and shrugged one shoulder. "Like mother, like daughter."
Sam stared at him in a stunned silence. Carly, sensing the change in the mood, quickly and wisely abandoned her perch against the warm hood of the car and moved between her two furious friends. Sam couldn't think, she couldn't breathe. The only thing she knew was that she was furious, and she wanted to continuously punch Freddie until his words stopped ringing in her head.
"Sam…" Tones of warning and caution tainted Carly's voice as she firmly placed a hand on Sam's arm to prevent any sudden attacks.
Sam didn't respond. She just stared straight ahead at the soon to be black and blue boy who was smirking victoriously in front of her. She was going to remove that smug look from his face and replace it on his butt.
Right as she attempted to shrug Carly off, a family of five casually strolled by the three teenagers, blissfully unaware of the escalating situation. One of the children dropped their stuffed basketball and it rolled over to rest by Sam's beat up converse sneakers. It took a moment to register, but eventually she picked it up and tossed it back to the kid.
The innocence and charm of the interruption seemed to have curbed her murderous intentions, and all that was left was the complete nausea of hurt. She stared at Freddie for a minute longer, and even though the smirk had faded, looking at him was only making her feel like she was going to lose the two funnel cakes and countless other fried foods she had indulged on that much sooner. She shook her head slowly and spoke just as she saw Freddie begin to open his mouth hesitantly. "You're not worth it." And with that, she spun on her heel and walked back towards the carnival, away from Freddie and Carly who stood in a stunned silence behind her.
Freddie drummed his fingers on the steering wheel nervously as he mentally practiced his speech in his head. Sam, I'm sorry. I don't think you're a skunk bag and I know that you wouldn't give it up for fried chicken. And your mom is lovely. After a few moments, he groaned and dropped his head in his hands. There was no point in speeches. As soon as Sam saw him she was going to throw her infamous right hook in his direction and he would be out for the count. He groaned again and debated leaving for the hundredth time. He went so far as to turn the car on and shift it into drive. He was sure that Sam would be more receptive of his apology if she had a couple days to cool down. Plus, at school on Monday there would be witnesses, and Sam wouldn't kill him in front of a bunch of witnesses. At least, he hoped not.
He sighed as he threw the car back in park and switched off the ignition. He knew he had to do it tonight. He looked towards the slightly run down house as a cat lazily swatted at a moth in the tiny patch of grass out front. All the front windows were lit up, but covered by various forms of shades, curtains, and blinds. He glanced up at the large window on the second floor he knew was part of Sam's bedroom. Slants of soft light creased out from the bent blinds and he imagined her in there plotting some evil genius revenge against him or mutilating a Freddie doll. Freddie let out a guttural moan as he laid his head against the cool steering wheel. He called her an insecure skunk bag, and according to Carly's rant on the way home earlier, he had implied that she and her mom were both "harlots". Insulting Sam's mom after calling her insecure and a skunk bag was like calling up a hit man and personally ordering your own demise. Freddie groaned again and rubbed his head. He needed to figure out a better speech.
Suddenly the passenger door swung open and the blonde in question climbed in. She shut the door behind her, cranked down the window, and propped her knee out into the cool night air before finally facing a shocked and frightened Freddie.
"Is stalking a favorite past time of your's Benson?" She asked coldly.
"I was just about to come in and talk to you." He mumbled in reply, shocked by her sudden proximity.
Sam rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I guess you have been just about to come in and talk to me for the last two hours. My mom was ready to call the police. She was convinced you were this inmate she has been dating online."
Freddie shot her a questioning look.
"Don't ask."
He nodded and turned his attention back to the steering wheel. They sat in silence for a long and awkward minute as Freddie tried to figure out where to start. Neither of them looked at the other. Finally, Sam cleared her throat.
"Well, this has been fun and all, but I have a burrito in the microwave, so if you'll excuse me…" Her knee fell out of the window and she reached for the handle.
"Wait!" Freddie took a deep breath and attempted to control the volume and tone of his voice. "Just give me a minute; I want to talk to you."
Sam stared at him.
"Please?" He added.
She shrugged and settled her knee back into its previous position. The cool night air from the open window drifted through the car and Freddie let out an involuntary shudder.
He was nervous but he was encouraged by the fact that she had stayed, and the fact that he currently remained unharmed.
"I'm sorry for, you know, for what I said." He stumbled over his words and stared down at his hands.
"You mean for calling me an insecure skank bag?" Sam asked sharply.
"Skunk bag actually…" Freddie trailed off when he caught Sam's eye. "Yeah, for that."
"Whatever." Sam replied flatly.
"I shouldn't have said it."
"You implied that I would hook up with a guy for a drumstick. And that my mom was a hussy—and that I was just like her." She spat out, still refusing to look up at him.
Freddie pushed his hair off his forehead and turned away from Sam's hurt tone to look out at the abandoned street. He gathered his thoughts and his nerves and turned back to her bent head. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that, I didn't mean it at all, it's just…"
Sam finally looked up at him.
"I really hate that guy!" Freddie bit the inside of his mouth and attempted to find the right words that would effectively express his frustration without further angering the hotheaded blonde beside him. "I hate that youwere with him tonight."
Sam's angry and set jaw twitched as she seemed to consider his words. Finally, she sighed and looked over at him. "I know" she replied.
"You do?" He was surprised, shocked, flabbergasted. He didn't fully understand what was going on himself, where these feelings and frustrations emerged from, but she was saying she already knew?
"Yeah, I was in the boy's bathroom a lot in 9th grade- for various good causes- and I knew that Cameron wrote that stuff about you." She picked at a strand of her long blonde hair aimlessly. "That's why I didn't tell you about tonight."
"Oh" Freddie looked momentarily relieved "but you told Carly you forgot to tell me."
She waved off his reasoning. "Yeah. I lie --- do you not know me at all?"
Freddie let out a small laugh before the car settled again into silence.
"I really am sorry Sam."
She looked at him, studying him for several seconds before sighing heavily. "Whatever Freddork. Let's just forget it."
He nodded quickly in relief and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "So --- how was it?" He gulped back his nausea and attempted to portray something approximate to sincere curiosity.
"The date?"
He nodded.
"Meh, it was cool, I guess. I mean I got a stuffed alien head out of it, which I find freaky but strangely charming."
"You would."
Sam smirked. "It's weird; I think he might actually like me."
Freddie gulped lightly at the poorly disguised elation in her voice before returning her smirk and nudging her arm. "It's not that weird."
She shrugged casually. "He still has to pass the test though."
"You still do the test?" Freddie shot her a flat look. "I thought Carly said she wouldn't do it anymore."
She narrowed her eyes. "Oh, she'll do it. I continuously imply that the only reason she won't do it is because she secretly thinks the guy will fail until she finally gives in."
He shook his head in disbelief. "That is so twisted."
She huffed in offense. "The test has saved me from multiple bad relationships."
"One bad relationship Sam. Only one guy has ever failed your little test."
"Two guys dorkface."
"You can't count Jonah, officially he never even took the test."
"Jonah is the whole reason for the test. Jonah is the founding father of the test, so yes Freddie, I can count Jonah."
Freddie let out a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes.
"Well I think the test is stupid and unfair, plus isn't it entrapment?"
Sam shot him a look. "Do you think I know what entrapment is?"
"Entrapment is making all of your potential boyfriends pass some absurd fidelity test using your best friend as bait."
Sam nodded slowly. "Then yes. It is definitely entrapment." Freddie rolled his eyes and cocked his eyebrow but opted not to further comment in favor of preserving the thin peace they had somehow discovered. They settled back into a comfortable silence, both relieved that the earlier tensions seemed to have dissolved.
Sam eventually broke the silence and rolled her head over to face Freddie. "So what about you?" She spoke in a flat tone and pursed her lips.
He returned her gaze with a questioning look. "Me?"
She rolled her eyes, frustrated somehow by his inability to read her mind and at being forced to say the words outright. "Yeah. Which lucky lady will receive your stuffed alien head?"
Freddie turned back to the road and tried to hide his discomfort. "I don't know."
She punched him, not hard enough to cause pain, but not light enough to be considered completely playful. "Come on – we're friends now." She wrinkled her nose and her pupils drifted to the side in consideration. "Well sort of."
He lightly shoved her back. "We're friends" he insisted with a short laugh. She rolled her eyes and smiled but refused to speak, letting her previous question hang uncomfortably in the air between them. After several moments of silence she raised her eyebrows in expectation and shot him a look.
Freddie let out a long, shallow sigh. "There really isn't anyone I like right now." She scoffed and he looked back at her in frustration. "I'm serious."
Her face slowly changed from one of mocking disbelief to one of thoughtful consideration. She nodded twice and broke out in a smirk. "Well, you'll let me know when your next obsession starts? I like to give the girl fair warning before she's bombarded with dead roses and computer laden poetry."
Freddie frowned playfully. "I never left anyone dead roses – and Julie Beck said that me calling her my motherboard was the most romantic thing she had ever heard."
Sam smiled and lightly shook her head. "Keep telling yourself that stud."
They settled again in silence.
After a few minutes, Sam let out a long yawn. "Well, my burrito is not going to eat itself."
Freddie began nervously gripping and re-gripping the steering wheel. "Yeah, I guess it is kind of late." He looked over at Sam who was pulling herself into an upright position in anticipation of soon exiting the car. He debated asking her to stay. "See you tomorrow?"
Sam yawned again as she stretched out the kinks that had worked their way into her muscles. "Yeah." She opened the door and got out of the car. Freddie reached down and turned the key in the ignition.
As she exited, Sam shifted her weight and rested her arm on the open door and she leaned back into the Volvo. "You know, in 9th grade, there were some pretty heinous things written about Cameron on the girl's bathroom wall." Freddie stared back at her in shock. Sam smirked in her infuriating way and with a slam and a dash of blonde hair, she was gone.
**
A/N There you have it - chapter 3, formerly known as chapter 2. Sorry it took a little longer than usual to update. I had it uploaded and ready to post on Thursday night, but then I re-read it for the hundreth time and it just didn't seem right, so I held onto it. To be honest, it still feels slightly off, but I couldn't figure out why, so therefore I couldn't fix the problem, so I decided screw it, and posted it anyways. If you enjoyed it or have any feedback, please review.