Disclaimer: Yes, I do not own Full Metal Panic. Though in my dreams, I'd like to pretend I do.

Summary: (Spoiler Warning) Her mouth stopped near his ear, and whispered ever so softly, much like the same way she did the last time Sousuke allowed her to cut his hair. "You can't protect me forever, Sousuke" (SousukeKaname)

-

Save Me
By makka na yuki

-

--------------------------------

Tell me why.

--------------------------------

A punch left him staggering back into the wall of the alley, glaring daggers at the only other person in the area.

"Could you be any more of an idiot?" the tall green haired man hissed in a deep almost-fake voice. "We can't be seen together, much less be seen at all. You already attract too much attention to yourself as it is. Do not jeopardize my mission with your stupidity."

Sousuke glared at the undercover agent. "Chidori was your mission, and look what happened to her." He retorted, trying to bring some sense into why he confronted the other Mithril officer. He had just been transported back to Tokyo Base, along with Kaname and a few other agents, to investigate and 'clean-up' the bombing of his apartment. It took hours before he finally tracked down the Intelligence Division personnel. "What does that say about you, Wraith?"

"More than what can be said of you." The disguised officer snorted, fist shaking "At least I had enough sense not to abandon her."

The young soldier tried not to wince at the insult. "It's not my fault" Sousuke immediately replied in his defense "the order clearly stated-"

"Stop making excuses." Wraith interrupted, looking tired and weary even with her mask on "We both know you were only allowed to come back after you've defended yourself and offered to have the higher-ups cut your salary in half. Why couldn't you have done so earlier, during that time after China when you've already proven to us how valuable you are? Why only now?"

The dark-haired boy could not give a straight answer. Sousuke remembered how Chidori had plagued his thoughts, even his dreams, in those long six months he was away. Oftentimes, he would have nightmares of her bloodied form reaching for him from across the battlefield, mouthing the words "I forgive you" over and over and over again until he wakes up sweating, heart thundering in his chest. But he shouldn't – couldn't – do anything about it. As a soldier, his duties came first - it was how he lived his life for so long, even as a child. How can anyone know that he was suffering? How could he explain? Chidori had presented him the opportunity to live a normal life, and Sousuke eventually realized after long months of brooding that he was stupid to give that all up without a fight. He finally snapped at one of the council meetings and demanded that they send him back. The young soldier had wished all those times that nothing bad happened to the blue-haired girl, but in the wake of the recent events, it seems his fears were coming true. He sighed and let his defenses down. "…You wouldn't understand."

"You give yourself too much credit, boy," The undercover agent nearly snorted. Was this boy truly an idiot? "I'm a soldier as well. I would know what it is like."

The young soldier stayed silent.

"And Sousuke," Wraith continued, eyes almost turning soft "I know Ms. Chidori understands as well"

If she does, then why is this all happening? Sousuke dejectedly thought. Nothing makes sense, and he's still left in the dark. The interrogation did not prove to be helpful, as Chidori still refuses to give her full cooperation on the matter. There were so many things that were left unsaid, and he was growing restless with the infinite possibilities going through his mind.

"Don't blame yourself, Sousuke, please"

The young agent's resolve hardened. He would get his answers today. "Tell me what really happened. I deserve to know as much."

"You deserve nothing" Wraith angrily whispered, eyes hardening once again. "The case of Miss Chidori is classified information" She interrupted him before he could reply a comeback, "And yes, even from you. Her guardian." The undercover agent spit out the last word in mockery.

The dark-haired boy gave no reply.

"Che." Wraith almost snorted. "You shouldn't have come back then. It would have made things so much easier…"

"Tell me this at least" Sousuke said, looking very much defeated "That night when you were in Chidori's apartment, did you know? Were you already aware that something was terribly wrong?"

"Why else do you think I would even bother to be there in person?"

"Why then?" the young soldier gritted his teeth "Why do you interfere now when only a few months ago you wouldn't dare waste your time on her?"

The undercover agent closed her eyes and sighed.

"You said you'd rather just die like this right?"

Wraith stared at blue-haired girl, bathrobe drenched under the freezing night's rain, looking at her with sad eyes that doesn't fit her cheery and energetic character.

"How about fight on for a little bit longer?" Kaname continued having received no reply from the paralyzed agent, "I will, you know. From here on... Always…"

"Chidori-san… has a way of changing people" the Intelligence Division officer whispered, opening her eyes to look at the teenager in front of her.

"What does that mean? Explain."

She shook her head. "Sergeant Sagara" the undercover agent continued, straightening her trenchcoat, "I advise that you stop wasting my time."

And once again, Sousuke was left staring at 'his' retreating back.

--------------------------------

Talking with the undercover agent seemed like a waste of time afterall, Sousuke thought. There were still so many questions running through his head, and the only other person aside from Chidori who could've given him answers hated him too damn much, more so after their little encounter in that alley.

Sousuke sighed. No one seems to be telling him anything these days. And it was driving him crazy.

The brown-haired agent couldn't face her yet… not like this. Everything about the situation was preventing him from thinking clearly.

But if he wanted answers, this was the only way to do it.

--------------------------------

Sousuke came back two days after, choosing to lean against the wall of the room. He carried no clipboard this time. He needed to go through with this in the most familiar manner, so interrogation once again was out of the question.

The young soldier feared that he might hurt her again – the memory of her trembling shoulders under his tight grip is enough to make him regret everything. He sometimes wished she would just stay angry at him – that he could accept. But the fear in her eyes the last time they talked made him swallow back his raging emotions.

Kaname just sat there seemingly unfazed.

"My wound is all better now," she started with a small smile, swinging her legs back and forth to show him.

This is the first time they ever discussed her injury... the injury he gave her. He found that he could not speak.

"The doctor was surprisingly nice, though he did look like he was just pretending to smile." She looked at the ceiling in wonderment. "Tessa's been here a few times. She apologizes for the rough treatment, but then I told her I didn't know what she was talking about."

Kaname laughed at herself "Well except for this room of course... those big shiny lights are really starting to-"

"This is too much of an idiotic thing to do. Even for you." he cut her off

Kaname narrowed her eyes. Here she was trying to make a light conversation and this guy just had to go straight to the point. He has a right to be angry, she muses,but the insult still irritated the hell out of her. He dared think he understood. "Oh so you think you know me now huh?"

"Why..?" he repeated his question from before.

"Why? Because I refuse to be weak." She smiled sadly, giving him vague and yet truthful answers once again.

There was something she wasn't telling him and he was getting tired of it.

"Did you want to kill me?"

"Hell no, what am I stupid? You're the only reason I have for... for"

"Following them" he finished for her. The idea had been in his mind from quite some time now. He had lots of enemies, and it would just be natural to have them come after her to hurt him. Did they threaten to kill him or her family so that she'll follow? His fists clenched at the thought.

"Continuing on living like this" she whispered solemnly, correcting him once again. He had almost hit the bulls-eye with that last statement.

He was always finishing things for her, she thought with a sad smile, may it be sentences or battles she was too weak to succeed in.

Even though he's mostly wrong...

This was the closest she could come to a confession.

And he would never understand.

Sousuke almost closed his eyes in anguish. He needed this… needed her to reassure him that everything is okay. That the previous night was just a misunderstanding…

"Chidori…"

Kaname's eyes softened. She knew hurting him was inevitable.

If only…

"That defeated look does not suit you, Sousuke" she tried to lighten the mood once again. "It might scare the children"

He almost smiled. Almost. Their conversation was going around circles. This was getting him nowhere. "I am human as well, Chidori" he replied, if only to hear her voice again.

Kaname tried to stop the tears from falling. She wanted to tell him so many things, just so he wouldn't look at her like that again.

But…

"Emotions can get you killed" she stated matter-of-factly, eyes hardening.

His eyes snapped to her face. "It does not!" his outburst surprised him as well. "It's what keeps us alive."

A few years ago, he would've thought otherwise. But time passes and things change. A lot of things, he remember her telling him once.

"Does it..? Don't you wish sometimes that you wouldn't have to suffer the guilt of having someone's blood smeared on your hands?"

"Chidori? W-What are you saying..?"

"They've already got me trapped Sousuke. There's nothing I can do." Kaname replied, choosing her words carefully.

"We can help." I can help. The young agent didn't even know what he was saying, just that he wanted to see her smile at him again. "We've got enough weapons to defeat-"

Who? Who were they really up against?

She shook her head.

"It's already too late. This is my repentance."

An explosion shook the room. An alarm was immediately set off the entire building.

"They found me" she whispered so softly that he almost missed it. A lone tear slid down her cheeks.

--------------------------------

I wish I could say good-bye.

--------------------------------

Author's Note: Ahh yes, I must apologize for spending a month just to update one single short chapter and ending in another cliffhanger again. I won't go saying that I was suffering from writer's block, or that I didn't want to continue writing without really knowing how to end this fanfiction or that school's been really keeping me busy.. but err… yeah XD excuses At least you all are already getting a clearer idea ne? This fic is my little baby as well, but I seem to be giving more attention to "Ammunition", since well, it's really easier to write drabbles and one-shots ;;

As some of you may have already guessed (or probably not), the timeframe of the fic is set 6 months after Sousuke's battle with the Venoms in Hongkong. Kaname used Wraith to bring her there, but Sousuke could not go back home with her because he had another mission scheduled right after. And thus the cause of our little conflict right here.