A/N- Okay, so here is Chappie Four!! Sorry for the brief hiatus but I had a busy weekend and have been tweaking my sequel to my one shot- Love in an Elevator...woot!!
Enjoy and review please!!
Chapter Four: Bartending Boot Camp
After two hours of bartender training, Draco Malfoy had discovered that his sentiments regarding the entire charade had been well founded. He was in queer hell. He had already deflected the advances of several men, spilled an entire bottle of sweet and sour mix all over Hermione, much to her chagrin, and managed to set the bar top on fire when attempting to make another ridiculous signaturedrink called The Fire Crab. Luckily, his wand skills were still on the mark and he had been able to extinguish the fire without any major damage to the club. Needless to say, it had not been his day.
There was still a good few hours before the club's production of Cabaret would go on and Draco was worried that he would not be able to assist Hermione as expected. She had been nothing but understanding the entire time, even after he had inadvertently dumped the mix down the front of her white blouse, conveniently turning it into a sheer blouse.
Hehehe…that turned out better than expected, the girl's got quite a rack…
His eyes had wandered over her fit form a little too noticeably and she had blushed madly at his reaction. Draco had quickly turned away but he inexplicably felt his own cheeks burning and heat pooling in his nether region from the unexpected situation.
Also, he admittedly was not used to her pleasantries and found her easygoing nature and willingness to help extremely charming. This, he had not expected. In truth, he had hoped that they would continue their usual banter and several times he had slipped, shooting a sarcastic comment her way to which she would reply effortlessly and giggle. This had not been the norm between them during school. No, during school their banter had bordered on merciless and now that it seemed significantly less callous and more like playful teasing, Draco had begun to notice things about Hermione he had failed, or perhaps refused, to acknowledge before.
She was extraordinarily kind. He had always known that she was friendly, but her willingness to go out of her way to help people was astonishing. Being a Slytherin, he could admit that he didn't fully understand her ability to be so kind without an agenda. However, secretly, he found it endearing. She was also even more intelligent than she had been in school, if that was possible. Potter had mentioned that she was attending Wizarding University and boy had it paid off. She was a literal genius and Draco had found himself completely in awe of the gradual evolvement of their conversations. She had read half of the books contained in the library at Malfoy Manor, from what he could remember, which said a lot considering it was almost as vast as the Hogwarts library.
That said, she was still the typical bookworm. He had discovered a stash of volumes under the bar, which he assumed she read during off hours or when they unexpectedly had a slow night. Draco had pulled the first volume out and smirked immediately, it was Hogwarts: A History. He recalled that Hermione could often be found carrying this particular book during their time at Hogwarts. In fact, he couldn't remember a time when she hadn't had her nose buried in it. He chuckled to himself and shook his head.
Leave it to Granger to still be carrying around this blasted book.
"What are you…oh!" Hermione exclaimed with mild surprise and began blushing slightly, "I see you found my secret stash."
"Yeah," he replied, unaware of the trademark smirk that had taken up residence on his visage, "who'd of thought that you, of all people, would hide books under the bar?"
Hermione looked up at him abruptly. Her eyes were wide and her mouth fell open. She was backing away slightly and then halted when she hit the bar.
"Is something wrong," he asked, quickly dropping the smirk and furrowing his brows inquisitively.
Hermione breathed in deeply and shook her head, as if scolding herself internally. She chortled lightly and then wet her lips.
"No, no, I'm sorry…you- you just reminded me of someone," she stated glibly.
"Oh?" he replied, fighting the urge to let the sly grin creep over his face, "and who would that be?"
Hermione looked at her feet quickly and mumbled something. She appeared to be slightly uncomfortable and she leaned against the bar and sighed. She looked up at him and bit her lip.
"Just a guy I went to school with," she said somberly, "you just…you had this look on your face that was…it was uncanny."
"Really? Well, seeing as you have Hogwarts: A History stashed under your bar I am guessing it is your alma mater?" he asked knowingly.
Hermione brightened immediately and smiled. "Yes! It is," she replied excitedly, "I absolutely loved it there."
"I happened to go there too," he stated proudly.
It was Hermione's turn to furrow her brows and she looked at him appraisingly.
"I have to admit that I don't recognize you," she stated after inspecting him for several minutes, "did you know me?"
Draco smiled as serenely as possible, hoping to throw off any suspicions she might have about his identity.
"I knew of you," he said casually, "I was a couple years ahead of you."
"Hmmm, Darius McAvoy…sounds slightly familiar," she replied tapping her index finger on her chin.
Draco's smirk had come back with a vengeance. Fooling the brilliant witch was actually becoming quite fun.
She'll never put her finger on it…the Slytherin Prince in drag?? Even she'd loose her lunch at the prospect.
"What house were you in? Did you play Quidditch?" she began peppering him with questions and suddenly he felt entirely annoyed that he had told her anything at all.
Merlin's Moldy Knickers! She's still the nosiest witch this side of bloody Britain!
"Look, not to be a downer or anything but I think we should probably get back to training," he stated firmly, "I am going to have to help you once this ruddy show goes on and I'm afraid my skills are not exactly honed, as of yet."
"You can say that again," she replied with a giggle, "you nearly set my hair on fire."
"Look Granger, I don't need you giving me a hard time! So train, damn it!" he stated in aggravation, the pitch in his voice floundering under his petulant tone.
"W- what did you call me?" she asked in disbelief.
"I called you Granger. That is your name, isn't it?" he said quickly.
"Please, call me Hermione," she said and frowned at him.
"Fine, Hermione, let's get to work," he replied and grabbed a nearby rag and began wiping the bar top gracefully.
Hermione watched him closely and he silently chided himself for dropping so many hints. It was just too hard for him not to toy with the blasted woman. Just because he was in a dress didn't mean he could shed his witty demeanor. He was a Malfoy and it was a part of him.
Over the next few hours, Draco improved greatly. He decided to put the amount of energy he had applied towards his school studies towards this ridiculous job. His determination had surprisingly paid off and he had actually managed to create four of the club's signature drinks- The Pink Plimpy, The Fire Crab (with Hermione standing behind him, her Augmenti charm at the ready), The Blueberry Banshee, and the Apricot Ashwinder.
"Well, I think you're as ready as you're gonna get," Hermione muttered and began pulling a bag out from under the bar.
"I'm tops at this Granger…I mean, Hermione," he replied proudly and smiled at her with just a hint of his trademark smirk.
Hermione gave him another inspective glance but it eventually gave way to a warm smile. She giggled and shook her head, apparently deciding that she was delusional. She threw her bag over her shoulder and began to walk towards the backstage area but turned abruptly to address him.
"You should probably go get ready. The curtain goes up in an hour so we'll likely see the first rush in the next thirty minutes," she said and winked at him playfully.
Draco felt a slight tingle in his stomach as he grappled with the fact that Hermione had seemed slightly coquettish while addressing him. How could she have done that? She's talking to a ruddy queen!
Maybe she's into that type of thing…Wait a minute!! This is Granger we're talking about, not some freaky slag! She's the pure little virgin…the Gryffindor Prude…the sweet innocent little witch whose never even had a kiss…well, accept maybe Weasley, but he doesn't count!
"Yes, but it's been a year since you've seen her. Maybe she's experienced more than you think," an annoying little voice resounded in his head.
No way!! She'd never shag somebody unless she were engaged…and I know she's not, there's no ring on her finger.
"Ah, so you were scoping out her hand for a ring, were you?" the blasted voice replied.
No I was not, thank you very much! I just happened to see that she did not have…oh forget it! Why am I talking to you anyway??
Draco stormed off toward the stairwell leading to Wood's office, fighting with the little voice all the way. He was really becoming a bit mental, what with being surrounded by Wood and his horde of hags, the Golden Gryffindor Prude and her bloody brilliant arse, and the ridiculous outfits he was forced to don. This particular number was riding up in the most sensitive of places and Draco had fought the urge to adjust himself on several occasions. Yes, the man was officially a sickle short of a galleon.
He entered the office without knocking and was met with quite a sight. Wood was locking lips with Belladonna. Their hands were roaming freely over their embellished bodies and Draco stumbled backwards in total shock
Holy Hipppogriff Shite!
"Uh, sorry…" he trailed off and began to hasten down the stairs. His stomach was churning queasily and he fought the urge to wretch.
Bugger me! Was that really necessary?? I mean, damn, do I have to be subjected to this shite? I'm going to murder Potter when I see him!
"Illustra!!" Belladonna's smooth voice rang out and Draco halted immediately. He turned to face the blushing queen and quirked a brow expectantly.
"Darling, don't worry about that," she assured Draco quietly, "it was an honest mistake."
She reached out and patted Draco on the shoulder sweetly. Her large hands were clumsy and strange and Draco once again felt apprehensive. This was seriously wrong.
"Now, I'd appreciate if you do not mention this to Mandragora," Belladonna whispered cattily, "she'd likely start an uprising amongst the others if she knew I was shagging the boss. It's not like Scarlet and I are exclusive or anything, anyway."
Draco nodded awkwardly and then looked at a spot on the wall behind Belladonna's raven head. The other queen stepped a little closer and cocked her head in front of Draco's line of vision. She smirked at him in a slightly seductive manner and he recoiled immediately.
"Is there something wrong, dear?" Belladonna asked saucily, her hand toying with the expansive collar on Draco's gown.
"Um, no," Draco said uncomfortably, shrugging off her hand nonchalantly and stepping around her. He hurried up the stairs as fast as the blasted heels on his aching feet would carry him, glancing back once. Belladonna was watching him with a wily expression on her expertly made over face and Draco felt a chill shoot down his spine. She was going to be a problem, that one.
As Draco entered the office, he made certain to knock this time. Wood's Scottish brogue sounded through the door and Draco cracked it open and stuck his head in.
"Is it safe?" he asked sarcastically.
Wood rolled her eyes and gestured for him to come in. Draco stepped through the door and crossed his arms.
"You could have at least warned me," he said tetchily.
"Look Malfoy, you don't get it, these queens all want a piece of me," Wood said frustratingly.
"Oh, believe me, I get it," Draco said arrogantly, "or don't you recall my infamous rep as Hogwarts most desirable male?"
"I think Amortentia might disagree with you there," Wood replied with a chuckle, "As you know, she believes that she was and is the most desirable."
Draco snorted and shook his head. "You could have warned me about that, too!" he stated incredulously.
Wood giggled furiously. "And miss the look on your face?? No bloody way!" she cried merrily, "Now, how did everything go with our dear Hermione?"
"Oh, just wonderful," he replied sarcastically, "I've so enjoyed making froo froo drinks named by a bunch of ruddy wankers pretending to be women."
Wood chuckled and sat back, listening intently as Draco complained and changed out of the gown he had been wearing.
"Alright, what the hell am I supposed to wear?" he asked and looked towards Wood warily, crossing his arms protectively over his well developed chest, "and it better not be some ridiculously tiny number showing off my naughty bits for your own amusement."
Wood giggled again and shook her head. "No Draco, it isn't," she replied and pulled out a tuxedo costume, which consisted of black stockings, black short shorts, a tight white tee, a fitted black vest and a black bow tie.
Draco looked at it and rolled his eyes. "You have got to be kidding me," he said and grabbed the costume roughly.
This is just brilliant…how the hell do you get these on?
He attempted to put on the stockings, effectively ripping through the fragile lycra in the process and cursing vehemently.
What moron invented these?? Damn it, I can't even get my foot through…mother…ow…ow…stupid, bloody stockings…ow…how do you get your foot to…shite, I ripped that part…damn it…ow!!
Wood watched with considerable mirth as Draco fought with the ludicrous lycra. He had essentially ripped it to shreds and was currently struggling furiously, bent over, one foot encased in the flimsy material, runs abundant, and his arm caught through the other leg causing him to stumble about and crash into Wood's desk. Apparently, lycra was Draco's proverbial Kryptonite.
"Draco, darling," Wood said through her laughter, "I think you should allow me to help you."
Draco growled from his spot on the floor where he was rolling around and frantically wrestling with the stringent stockings.
Wood waved her wand, and the stockings immediately covered Draco's lower half seamlessly. There were no longer any runs and Draco looked at Wood gratefully.
"Thanks," he breathed and continued putting on the costume. Once he was finished, he looked at himself in the mirror and sighed heavily. There was no doubt that the "female version" of Draco Malfoy was actually quite a looker but he was still not used to seeing himself as a bloody bird. It was truly unnerving.
Wood clapped her hands and let out a wolf whistle. "Nice arse," she teased mercilessly and Draco spun around, grabbing his cheeks protectively.
Wood only laughed harder and shook her head. "Get to work! I'm sure Hermione is waiting for you, hot stuff," she stated slyly and giggled as he saluted her with the bird.
Draco stomped out of the office, ensuring that his arse was out the door before Wood could take another peek. He felt like a total fool in this ridiculous outfit and trudged brutishly towards the bar, ignoring the hysterical screeching of Delish Felicis about his walk. He was in no mood to glide and if that ruddy wench didn't shut her effing hole he was going to shove her wand right down her throat.
She'd probably enjoy it too much up the other end. Hehehe…
Draco rounded the bar and halted abruptly. His eyes grew to the size of saucers as he surveyed the extremely toned backside clad in short black shorts staring back at him. Suddenly, the owner of said backside stood up fully and turned around.
Damn it Granger…