Water, Water, Everywhere! Part 1
The ship touched down on the planet and everyone got out.
Olimar: Why did you guys tie me up and leave me to die? That really hurt my feelings…
Louie: Well why did you come back? That really hurt our sanity!
Purple Pikmin: Come on, Blue Pikmin!
Red Pikmin: What's up?
Purple Pikmin: Blue Pikmin won't come out because he's afraid something might eat his weapons again.
Blue Pikmin: My babies, I swear I'll protect you from any mean old bugs that try to eat you, I swear on my mom's name.
Ship: But you sold your mom so you could buy those weapons.
Blue Pikmin: Silence, non-believer!
Olimar: Okay, I'm not really sure if we're in the right place so, White Pikmin?
White Pikmin: I'm on it!
He scanned the surrounding area with his enormous eyes.
White Pikmin: This place used to be a river. While it ran, it eroded large caves that were once filled with creatures, but, judging by the many scattered twigs, I'm guessing one of those giant flat-tailed rats dammed up the mouth of the river.
He paused and looked at the ground.
White Pikmin: My tunnel vision sees a great deal of amphibious life in the caverns below. When the river stopped flowing, most of the animals here fled to a new body of water. But the caverns were still submerged in water, and were submerged long enough for the creatures to adapt to the new environment. The caverns are still very damp, and many water creatures still reside here.
Olimar: …I don't really care about that. I just want to know if we're in the right area, so are we?
White Pikmin: Oh, yeah, it is.
Olimar: Good! So today, we are going to find and document a rare animal, and an extremely scary one to.
Purple Pikmin: I am not going down there.
Yellow Pikmin: Oh, come on, what's the worst that could happen?
Olimar: There will also be no cookies.
Yellow Pikmin: NOOOO!
Olimar: (seriously) It's an animal that many think does not exist. But! If "them" can see it, that means we will prove it really exists!
Blue Pikmin: What is it?
Olimar: It is the scariest creature to ever come from the water…
Red Pikmin: You mean the President taking a bath?
Olimar: Scarier…
Red Pikmin: Oh, The President's wife taking a bath.
The President slapped him.
Red Pikmin: Oww!
Olimar: Alright, here we go.
The entered the cavern.
Just as White Pikmin had predicted, the entire cave was soaked. Pools of water were everywhere.
Purple Pikmin: Whoa…this is supposed to be a dried up river?
White Pikmin: Even though the river is dried up, it still rains often in this sector of the planet. Rainwater probably seeps into the ground as groundwater and ends up here.
Just then an orange fish with white stripes and one fin to small flopped out of the water.
Fish: Hey! Hey! Have any of you seen my dad?
Olimar: Whoa! That's weird, a talking salt-water fish in a fresh-water lake.
Blue Pikmin: Let me handle this.
He walked up to the fish.
Blue Pikmin: Yeah, little buddy, I know where your daddy is.
He pulled out the Flame Cannon and turned the fish into fish-sticks. Louie ran over to the late fish.
Louie: (sobbing) No-o-o-o…(paused and takes a bite of fish-stick)…mmmm…(continues to sob) No-o-o-o!
Olimar: Blue Pikmin! Why did you turn that living, talking, bad tasting salt-water fish into a silent, dead, good tasting fish stick!
Blue Pikmin: Blue Pikmin are the natural hunters of fish. Plus, I didn't think anyone would miss him.
Another fish came out of the water.
Fish: My son, Femo! NOOO! I'll have to read this poem I wrote to expresses my sorrow! (clears throat) Roses are-
A Burrowing Snarget came up and ate him, then "dug" away.
Yellow Pikmin: I think this experience has taught us a lesson.
Ship: Oh yeah? And what's that?
Yellow Pikmin: Never read poems to other people or they'll eat you.
Everyone: …
Olimar: Over here in this lake is a Wogpole. These small, harmless algae grazers will soon grow up to be a vicious Wollywog. That eat us.
Blue Pikmin: (getting out Shock Therapist ) Who's up for seconds!
Olimar: Wait! N-
The shock therapist blasted the water and rebounded on the crew.
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Louie woke up and looked around.
Why is everything taller?
Louie paused and went over to the pool of water. As he was taking a drink he noticed his reflection in the pool of water. And then screamed. Very loudly. He saw Yellow Pikmin staring back.
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): WHOA! Everything looks shorter!
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): Yellow Pikmin?
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): OOOH! Are you my evil twin?
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): …Err…no…
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): OOOH! That must mean I'm the evil twin!
Ship (President): Hey! I don't have any legs!
Red Pikmin (Olimar) : Fascinating!
President (Red Pikmin): EWW! I'm fat!
Blue Pikmin (White Pikmin): Ah! Everything looks so much duller! And…I have weapons?
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): WHAT? MY WEAPONS!
He tackles "Blue Pikmin".
White Pikmin (Ship): Hey! I have legs! And eyes! And a mouth!….sorta….
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): Hey! I can talk! And I breath! And I'm higher up the food chain!…but why am I so fat?
Wogpole (Purple Pikmin): Gasp!…Gasp!…Someone…put me in the water…
Ship (President): Umm…uh…. Oh-okay! Is this how you do it?…
The ship picked up the "Wogpole" and set in a jar on top of the ships explorer pod.
Wogpole (Purple Pikmin): Ah! Much better!
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): Olimar! Your smart, how did this happen?
Red Pikmin (Olimar): The Shock Therapist was never meant to hit the water at point-blank range. After the electricity hit the Wogpole, it reflected back and hit us. The shock must have swapped our electrolytes, so that's how we got like this.
White Pikmin (Ship): Now, I like having 20/1 vision as much as the next guy, but how do we change back?
Red Pikmin (Olimar): Simple. We shock our selves again.
Blue Pikmin (White Pikmin): Okay…um…how do you work these things?
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): It won't work. The Shock Therapist got damaged in the shock. I can fix it, but we need a strong source of electrical energy to do it.
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): I can help!
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): Who are you?
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): I'm the Wogpole!
President (Red Pikmin): Okay… Why do you want to help us?
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole) : Well, you see…I'm just so curious! You guys are just so weird! I haven't seen anything so weird since that time I saw that enormous bald monkey!
Red Pikmin (Olimar): Enormous Bald monkey? Could you be talking of the Crea-
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): Not only that, I've heard legends of something at the bottom of this cave… If I could get proof that it really exists, I'll become a hero!
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): Can I get my weapon repaired down there?
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): …
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): Well? Can I?
"Purple Pikmin" Turned on him.
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): You think I haven't forgotten that your tried to kill me? I don't care that your higher up the food chain than me, nobody tries to kill me! I'm watching you…
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): …Okay, but can I?
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): …Yes yes, there is a place that you can charge your weapons.
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): Yay!
Red Pikmin (Olimar): Well, we might as well get on with the tour.
In the puddle next to them, a giant creature rose from it.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): Ah! It's a water Dumple. They are a member of the bulbax family, although, because they lay eggs, we can assume that they have only recently evolved. These amphibious diurnal hunters share the same spot as the Blue Pikmin in the food chain, and therefore they are great enemies.
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): …Twitch…twitch… GIVE ME THOSE WEAPONS WHITE PIKMIN!
Blue Pikmin (White Pikmin): Wha-wha-wah?
"Olimar" started to pull the weapons away from "Blue Pikmin".
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): Give me those weapons! I'll blast that poser out of the water! I'll show him who's the real king of the water!
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): Oh, sillies! Those weapons don't work, I sabotaged them!
Everyone (Everyone): You WHAT? WHY DID YOU DO THAT!
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): Well, since I'm an evil twin, I thought I might as well do something evil!
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): Yellow Pikmin…I will kill you…
Ship (President): Uh, Ship?
White Pikmin (Ship): Yes, Mr. President?
Ship (President): There's a little sound buzzing in my head. What does that mean?
White Pikmin (Ship): That's the treasure detector.
The "Ship" Perked up.
Ship (President): Treasure? You can detect treasure?
White Pikmin (Ship): Uh…yeah.
Ship (President): Are…are you some kind of god or something?
White Pikmin (Ship): …Sure.
The "Ship" started to bow.
Ship (President): Must worship the god of money- I mean treasure…
As they turned a corner, they saw and enormous sleeping creature that seemed to be on fire.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): This must be the Flaming Bulbax. These colossal creatures excrete a chemical that instantly reacts to oxygen, which is why it has the appearance of being on fire.
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): Translated, it means that this thing sweats stuff the burns on fire as soon as it touches air.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): Although it usually gets all the energy it needs through the chemical reaction on its skin, it is often fond of eating treasures and generally likes to hang around water to make sure it doesn't overheat.
Ship (President): That's really nice, but how do we get the treasure out of him without getting eaten?
Everyone turned to "Red Pikmin".
President (Red Pikmin): Oh, I am SO glad I'm not me right now.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): What! I'm a man of science. I'm am capable of intelligent thought! I am far to valuable to-
While the Bulbax opened its mouth to snore, everyone threw "Red Pikmin" into the gapping mouth.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): Huh. I always imagined that being eaten would be a terrifying experience…OH MY GOSH! I'M GONNA DIE IN HERE!
Everyone: SHUT UP!
Red Pikmin (Olimar): Wow! You guys should see all the treasure in here! There's a video game, a broach, a muffin, a computer mouse, the one ring, and a note.
Ship (President): Incoming message! If you can't get your file on by the email, use the following to help you out.
1. Make sure your password was typed right
2. Make sure you're using the right password and not some old one
3. Use the help network. They have information that helped me out when I couldn't become a member.
4. If all else fails, try using another computer.
Remember! I will always help people who ask for my help, especially fans!
P.S., Anyone who thinks that this is a Rosetta stone is an idiot.
End message.
President (Red Pikmin): …What?…What the heck does that mean?
Red Pikmin (Olimar): It must be the Rosetta stone! A transcript used to decipher a language! We'll match the message from the e-mail to the letters on the paper and then we'll-
The Flaming Bulbax ate him. He then spat him back out.
Flaming Bulbax: Educational television…yuck…
He walked off.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): …Nobody likes me!…Which means nobody likes Red Pikmin.
President (Red Pikmin): Uh, duh!
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): Guys? The One ring is talking to me…
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): That's nice…
Everyone started to walk away.
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): I told you they wouldn't believe me.
The One Ring: …I see you!
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): Sigh…that's all he ever says…
He walked off to join the others.
When "Louie" joined the others, they were all staring at a group of large slugs.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): These are Toady Bloysters. Its scientific name, which means "lesser thrust" shows its area in the food chain in comparison to others of its family.
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Author's Note!
From now on, at the end of every chapter, I'll show a list of translated scientific names of each encountered creature. To catch up on previous chapters, I'll show every one encountered so far at the end of this chapter.
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They are mostly herbivores, and only attack creatures that attack it. Because of the external gills located on its back, it is classified in the nudibranch sub-family.
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): Nudibranchs are basically just sea slugs.
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): Can I-
Everyone: NO!
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): Awww…
As the entered the next cavern everyone froze. There was a Man-at-Legs sleeping in the floor.
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): It's the Man-at-Legs!
White Pikmin (Ship): You guys call them that to?
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): Yeah, they look like a Man-at-Legs, don't they?
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): OH YEAH!
He turned to "Red Pikmin"
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): You owe me 500 pokos!
Red Pikmin (Olimar): What?! What for?
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): Remember when we first saw a Man-at-Legs?
Flash back
Olimar: Whoa! Look at that bizarre creature over there.
Louie: Yeah, I wonder what it tastes like…
Yellow Pikmin: It is obviously the manifestation of some higher being merging with the environment around it. No silliness about that.
Blue Pikmin: Oh, I hope we don't have to fight it! I just hate violence.
Purple Pikmin: I couldn't eat all of that, Louie! I only eat low carb, low sugar, low sodium, low fat, low cholesterol meals!
Red Pikmin: I can help fight it, cook it, carry it, serve it, and dispose of its remains! I'm just that useful!
White Pikmin: Huh? What thing? I can't see, I have horrible vision!
Olimar: What should we name it?
Louie: We should name it Man-at-Legs.
Olimar: Huh?
Louie shrugged.
Louie: It looks like a Man-at-Legs.
Olimar: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!
Louie: Oh yeah? I bet you 500 pokos that someone will come along and tell you the same thing!
Olimar: Your on!
Just then, the Man-at-Legs fired two shots. One hit the ceiling causing four rocks to fall. One hit Yellow Pikmin's head, one hit Blue Pikmin's testosterone gland, one hit Purple Pikmin's stomach, and one hit Red Pikmin's usefulness gland . The other laser hit White Pikmin's eyes.
White Pikmin: I can see!
Purple Pikmin: Must…eat…everything!
Yellow Pikmin: Banana-nana-nana-nana phone!
Blue Pikmin: I will kill you all in a bloody action movie style manner!
Red Pikmin: Hmm? Yeah, you do that while I go over there and not help anyone.
End Flash Back
"Red Pikmin" got out his wallet and paid "Yellow Pikmin". Or at least he would have, if the "Ship"
Didn't steal the wallet first.
Ship (President): Money!
Red Pikmin (Olimar): (Shrugs) Oh well, it's Red Pikmin's wallet.
White Pikmin (Ship): Hey, why wasn't I in that flashback!
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): Because nobody likes you.
White Pikmin (Ship): ….Stupid word standards….
Wogpole (Purple Pikmin): You know, maybe this would be less confusing if we all act as the person we are.
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): Oh, sure…(Clears throat) Oh, I'm smart. Smartest guy in the whole world. Everyone has to treat me nice cause I'm smart. I'm so smart I sleep with my pet dictionary…(pretends to gag).
Red Pikmin (Olimar): How do you know about Harry?!
Everybody gawked at him.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): …I don't have a problem! (Sucks thumb).
They all moved to the next cavern.
In the next cavern, there where large, slimy looking creatures with huge back legs.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): Ah! These are Wollypogs. The Yellow one is called a Yellow Wollypog and the white one is simply known as the Wollypog. The Wollypogs, mostly found in caves, has perpetual albinism.
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): That means all of them are naturally albino.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): The yellow ones are usually surface dwellers. Both are avid hunters and kill their prey by smashing them.
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): Hey! It's my parents! (In animal) Hey mom, hey dad, how are you?
Wollypog: (In animal) Hello, offspring, may I eat your friends?
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): (In Animal) You can eat the blue one if you want.
Blue Pikmin (White Pikmin): …Wogpole?…Why are they staring at me in a way that clearly states they want to eat me?…
He chatted with them a few more minutes before turning to the group.
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): There's a short cut down to the end of the cave, but it's dangerous. Many large creatures live there. Legend has it, there is a device down there that can translate any language. Supposedly it was brought here by a wise and enlightened genius.
……
Boy: Mom! I lost my translator thingy that you gave me to help me cheat my way out of Spanish class because I failed it five times!
……
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): Who was that?
Purple Pikmin (Wogpole): No idea. Now lets get going.
They walked off.
As they entered the shortcut passage, they saw that the room had a strange looking floor. There were odd object everywhere, like rubber uglys, and was very wide. It seemed to be raining, but that was impossible because they were in a cave. In the center of the room there was a giant creature with flashing eyes.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): The Ranging Bloyser. Another member of the terrestrial nudibranch family-
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): That means land sea-slug family.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): It is the largest of its family and has a innate attraction to shiny flashing items.
Ship (President): WHAT? DID YOU SAY HE EATS SHINY FLASHING OBJECTS? I'M A SHINY FLASHING OBJECT!
President (Red Pikmin): …Yay!
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): NOOOOOOO!…Who'll sign my pay check?
Blue Pikmin (White Pikmin): We're not getting paid for this.
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): WHAT? Yellow Pikmin! You lied to me! You said there were big bucks in this!
Louie (Yellow Pikmin): Yeah, you see, after I said that, just when you were out of earshot, I whispered "not" in Latin. I also-
He was eaten.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): He ate Yellow Pikmin! Noooo!
"Yellow Pikmin" began to sob.
Red Pikmin (Olimar): I know, Louie. I know your sad about the untimely demise of our energetic friend…
Yellow Pikmin (Louie): (sniff) It's not that…it's just….I am so, happy!…
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): Quick! White Pikmin! Use your weapons!
"Blue Pikmin" feebly raised its weapons, only to have them eaten by the giant predator.
Olimar (Blue Pikmin): MY BABIES!!!
Now without weapons, will they survive they survive from this monstrous menace? Will Yellow Pikmin survive the belly of the beast? Will they ever return back to normal?…I used to know these answers…until I forgot them…
to be continued…
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I am SOOOOO sorry I was gone for so long! I was grounded all summer and I had to spend forever retrieving this file after my little brother erased it before I could publish it…. The next chapter could take awhile so, stay tuned!
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Scientific names
Key
?Uncertain translation
#Roughly translated
perfectly translated
& Unable to translate
Dwarf Red Bulborb- "false red coated breadbug"
Red Bulborb- "spotty red coated bulborb"
Hairy Bulborb- "spotty hair coated bublborb"
Orange Bulborb- "spotty orange coated bulborb"
Empress Bulbax- "matriarch bulborb"
Bulborb larvae- "near at hand bulborb"
Spotty Bublbear- "terrible dotted bulborb"
Emperor Bulbax- "supreme bulborb"
Beady-Long-Legs- "armored false spider"
Man-at-Legs- "ship's station false spider"
Ragging -Long-Legs- "furious false spider"
Careening Dirigibug- "the great floating circus"#
Gatiling Groink- "mega caliber explosive"
Irridecent Flint Bettle- "pilled package"
Irridecent Glint Bettle- "gold pill"
Doodlebug- "pilled flatulence"
Waterwraith- "watery man"
Toady Bloyster- "lesser thruster"
Ranging Bloyster: "predatory mollusk"