So another chapter for this fanfic. We are now reading it through Kei's point of view. I don't really know if anyone would write a story using this kind of
technique. But I was challenging myself to do something different.
I seriously love to finish this fanfic as soon as I can. I just can't wait! :D But it still has more to it, so bear with me!
I closed the lavatory door, leaning my tensed back against it. I was breathing heavily, trying to remember what just happened in the living room just then.
Our lips almost touched. I could feel the air coming from her mouth.. so magnetic. I couldn't maintain my best manner, dealing with one of the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life ( as cliche as it sounds ), I really struggled to keep away from her. I swore. I really did. But how could I ignore every detail of her flawless face, the barely visible mole which was next to her right eye. The perfectly carved lips which were not too thick or too plump. The pleasure of observing her expression whenever she felt nervous or embarassed. How could I counter that?
I felt really ashamed. 'List down things' ? What the hell was I talking about? And to think that I actually blurted out the word, kiss? There's no way in
hell that I could forget what could be the most embarassing moment in my life. Was I really demanding a kiss to the extent that I made a total fool of
myself? I thought to myself, hands on my head, wanting to hit myself onto the wall, rectifying all the betrayal my brain had given me.
But strangely, that warm feeling that I felt when she touched my shoulder chased away all the burden. When I reached her hand, her soft skin could only result in wanting her touch even more. As a matter of fact, I may felt disturbed by my own self, attempting to think of her in that way. I remembered grasping her hand and held it even tighter when our eyes were against each other. Her eyes were dark brown completed with long set of eyelashes, possessing every perfect element of calmness and gentleness. I recalled looking into those eyes, feeling lighter and more relaxed. Somber, if you might ask.
I had never felt more light-headed.. The endless trials did not matter anymore. Her comforting words brought my spirits back again. All my frustrations
decreased somehow. What kind of power did she have over me? To make me feel this excited, nervous and hungry for her comfort? The strength to overcoming every obstacle in regaining Mio's life again?
The overwhelming waves of unknown substance filling my stomach. Euphoric, light and alive.
I stepped in front of the mirror, staring into the eyes of a man whose determination was to write a book about the other world which resulted to be another failure. But that was 3 years ago, when I decided that it was not going anywhere. Now that I have a real story to tell, that ambition did not even cross my mind. The only thing which triggered my mind to function unpredictably was her. Other than Mio.
I washed my face with the cold water coming from the tap. It was really cold but bearable. I stepped outside of the toilet, eyes observing the tatami room which was located just in front of the toilet, next to the bathroom. I looked into the room, and saw a picture of someone familiar, placed in the middle of an altar filled with candles and offerings. Someone who could have been the groom of the first time I could have been the best man. The man who possessed the heart of the woman I still could not figure out. Yuu.
I bowed as a sign of greeting. Personally, I felt uneasy doing this after the moment I nearly kissed his fiance but was interrupted by Miku. But Yuu was not the type of person who would just go yelling or screaming if anything bothered him or made him feel angry. He was very calm and despite his anger, he would just walk out of the room and went somewhere that could calm his heart. I wondered what made him so calm, very different from the other people that I have encountered.
Probably that was what attracted Rei towards him in the first place. His name really suited his unique ability to contain his anger. 'Gentle rain'.
He was definitely someone I was not. I was the angry boy, the stubborn and the foolish to think that my place in the world was high enough to conquer the world of journalism. I was the geek, spending hours after hours in a library or my room trying to arrange something to become my first ever masterpiece. I used to wear glasses and was very ignorant to other people. Until the day I met Yuu. Even though Yuu was 3 years younger than me, he was more intelligent and collected. Composed is his middle name, as he used to help me gather information to help me with my work. Afterwards he offered to help me to cure Mio and promised that he would help me in anyway I can.. and before I could even ask of what I could give away in return, he left us.
I know I could never be like Yuu. I smirked to the idea and left the room where Yuu's altar was. I opened the door leading to the living room and noticed that Rei was no longer there. Outside had turned dark. I was unaware of how long I stayed in the toilet. A few minutes maybe? But however it was, it saved me from the unwanted awkward gestures I could make with Rei after that moment. Maybe she's in her room, I thought to myself.
As I walked my way towards the stairs, trying to find a reason to knock on Rei's door, I stopped. Maybe I should not disturb her for now. So I changed my mind, and knocked onto Miku's door instead. The door opened revealing Mio. She seemed fine and it made me feel relieved that she's not in her emotional status again. Mio asked me to come in. Miku's room was small but it had a different kind of aura coming from it. Youthful but consistent. The last time I was here was when Miku fell into a deep sleep. When Rei asked me to come and solve the mystery. I was told by Rei during the first time I met her, that Miku had just graduated from high school and now worked as Rei's assistant. If I calculated her age now, she could be 19 years old this year. She was still very young, I thought. Just four years older than Mio.
Maybe I could be right bringing Mio here. I really hoped that they could be close friends, as both of them have experienced the same loss.
" How're you doing, Mio? Are you okay here? " I asked Mio, who was sitting in front of Miku's desk, looking at Miku's photo of her and some guy. She said without even glancing at me. " I'm fine.. Miku's very kind.. ", she stood up, with that picture in her hand coming towards me. I was standing in front of the door when I saw the picture she held in her hand.
" She's out to buy some groceries, she said... " , after she finished her sentence, she showed me the picture she was holding. " That's Miku's brother.. Miku told me about him.. before she went out.. " I looked at it, and realized it was Mafuyu. Miku's older brother. He was also the junior of us three to work together under the same teacher, our late Mr Takamine. He was spirited away and could most likely to be dead, at a very young age of 21. Where or how he disappeared, I did not even know. All I know was his curiosity to know more and more of the Himuro Mansion led him astray, leaving me alone to research the folklore myself. I was not that close to Mafuyu, but I knew of his sixth sense and the tragic incident which scarred him and his sister. The mother took her own life, because she suffered from the same gift Miku and Mafuyu possessed.
" I didn't even know that she also had lost someone so dear to her.. but.. she seemed so cheerful.. and content now as if it doesn't even bother her.. she's not even sad, is she? ", My eyes raised from the picture to my niece. She was practically holding her body, with her arms crossed. I could see the gleam from her eyes, tears ready to fall down again. Then I said to her. " She is. She still feels sad. But she made a promise to herself, that she will continue to live on. Because you see... when we continued to live feeling such guilt, we're not aware of the consequences of our loved ones. Miku knew, that Mafuyu wouldn't want her to live like that forever. That's why she chose to be happy and move on.. and that's what I want you to do.. ".
Mio acted surprised to my respond. She looked at me with her twinkling eyes. I continued. " I know.. I lost Mayu too.. I lost my sister too.. Your mother
went away, disappeared from your life.. and I feel sad.. thinking that I don't have anybody else in this world. But I still have you, Mio.. That's why I
decided to move on from the grief.. living together with you.. ", the tears collected at the bottom of the eyelids poured down to her cheeks. Mio sobbed
lightly, and then hugged me tightly. Her face buried on my chest, as I stroke the strands of her soft hair.
As a man, I could feel myself almost crying, but managed to compose myself. I was glad that Mio finally understood what I had hoped for her. It was honest, coming from the heart. I made my own private promise to myself, that I will continue living my life to the fullest, and will care for Mio as if she was my own kid. Even with only 9 years apart, I still think that I should be more of a father figure, as well as a brother to her to help her move on. I will do whatever it takes to help Mio live like a normal teenager. This I swear.
An awkward silence swept through me and Rei at the sofa we're sitting. Miku and Mio were already exchanging subjects and interests. Dinner was delicious, cooked by the house owner, herself, with Miku and Mio assisting her. Not only she possessed the beauty of elegance, she also possessed the skill of a thoughtful mother's. I did not even know why I acted so unusual even Mio asked is I was alright.
Despite the pale skin I bore, I also had the kind of face which left people to think if I was alright, because I often looked like I was sick or suffered
from insufficient nutrients. Mio and Miku kept conversing with each other, mostly about teenager's stuff. About their favourite activities and other stuffs
which I cared less. All I cared about was to bring myself to find topics so I could talk about with Rei who sat next to me, sipping her drink of iced tea.
She was listening to the girls when suddenly Miku came up with an idea.
" How about we go to the beach tomorrow? ", Mio became enthusiastic and looked at me, with a hoping expression that I would agree to Miku's suggestion. Since I didn't respond, not because I didn't like the idea, it was because I was dazed and my mind was elsewhere, Miku continued.
" It has been a long time since I went to the beach. All four of us could go and just relax.. watching the sunset.. what do you say, Kei? Rei? " Miku's call
sounded like she was chanting. My name and Rei's rhymed. Mio stared at me with a very wishful expression. I knew that look and I knew how much she loved nature, the sound of the water flowing, and the breeze. Those kind of places became her favourite places to hang out especially when she went there with Mayu. I looked at her and smiled. " Okay... we'll go... ".
Mio widened her smile. I guess it was a good idea to bring her to the place where she could think everything clearer now that she had a new friend with her. I couldn't be more grateful bringing her here. I could see how excited Miku was, she began to plan things and suggested snacks to bring. It was a harmonious scene, watching my niece giggling with her new friend. As for Rei, she was equally as happy. I turned my face towards her, and she did too. I gave her a half smile, considering to be not so excited, as I could still felt the tension on my shoulder and the abnormal formality. She too smiled at me, but it took me a second to process the smile as it was hidden behind her pale pink lips.
It was no doubt that she felt the awkward tension between us.
After a few conversation with Miku and a few awkward ones with Rei, Mio spoke, rubbing her sleepy eyes. " I think I'm gonna go upstairs.. I feel really
tired.. may I excuse myself, miss Rei? " she stood up, carrying her empty glass and attempting to collect ours before she was stopped by Miku. " No! Leave it, Mio.. I'll do the dishes.. why don't you go first? ", Miku insisted, carrying the tray and walked towards the kitchen. Mio glanced at Miku shyly, and instead of climbing upstairs, she went to the kitchen to help Miku drying the glasses, and putting them into the cabinet. Frankly, I was not paying attention to any of them. I was too busy trying to face Rei, demanding strength from all parts of my body to speak in the most formal way ever.
" Are you not sleepy? I mean... you're not going to bed? " Rei who was petting the black cat, whom I think belonged to Miku, responded. " No.. not yet.. I have to talk to you about something. " then she looked at me with serious expression in her eyes.
I frowned. But just to cover it up, I looked away, and pretended to watch the television which was not even switched on.
It's definitely have something to do with what just happened in the evening. It's definitely that. I began to feel nervous, fidgeting and crossing my legs. I did not understand why I was acting suspicious. I was really unsure what to say.
" We're going to bed, excuse us, Rei, Kei.. Good night! Don't sleep too late.. okay? We're going to the beach tomorrow! " Miku announced excitedly, grabbing Mio's hand and gave us one final gesture before they went upstairs. After I heard the sound of the door being shut, I immediately turned to Rei, curious to what she was referring to earlier.
" Come with me. I need to show you something. ", I was surprised. I thought she was going to talk about something. Rei stood up, pulling her sweater down and turning her back against me. She was wearing a navy blue sweater, probably had a nightgown underneath, as I could see the fabric which I thought was satin fell down before her knees which ended with what appeared to be laces. I had no knowledge of clothes, whatsoever, but I was attracted to her legs. When we sat down together, I had to admit I stole glances on her legs everytime she moved. Her skin looked paler somehow, but that did not stop me from looking.
As I followed Rei from behind, we climbed upstairs, made our way passing Miku's bedroom, and to an unknown room at the end of the hallway.
This must be Yuu's room, I thought to myself. Rei twisted the knob and went in. She switched on the light and helped herself in. I stepped into the room and felt a certain energy coming out of the room. A strange breeze escaping to the hallway. Maybe it was just my feeling, but the breeze felt abnormal. It was cool but left no pressure on my skin. As I walked further into the room, my eyes scanned the corner of the room to the very end.
A blue bed was placed against the wall, and the curtain was also blue of colour. Something caught my eye at the desk which was placed in front of the bed and realized they were the old tapes I collected from my research. Rei stood in front of the book rack which was placed tight next to the closet and then she glanced at me. "
" So this is Yuu's room? " she nodded. I still had no idea why she brought me there, but I did not ask her straight away. Instead I commented on the colour of the bed and the curtain and concluded. " Blue.. it must be your favourite colour, huh? " Rei's eyes grew brighter. She nodded again. This time, she added. " Yeah.. it was his favourite colour too. But he said it's because blue reminded him of me.. that's why he chose blue.. for the sheet and the curtain.. " she was now sitting on the bed. Beckoning me to come sit next to her.
I went to sit with her and began to pop the question. " So why did you bring me here? ".
She stared at her hands on her thighs, playing with the silver ring on right hand and then replied. " If there's anything you like, you can feel free to have them.. I have to clear his stuff.. besides.. I don't even use them.. it's a waste to throw them away or leave them in boxes.." there were many pauses when she spoke. I had to be certain if she made the right decision.
" Are you sure? Because I could use a lot of books here to continue my research.. but are you okay with that? ", I observed her face, trying to see if there were any signs of uncertainty or change of decisions. She turned her head, now facing me and said. " Yeah, I'm okay. I think Yuu wouldn't mind too.. you need them more anyway.. for your research and work. " When I thought she had finished, she continued. " It's time to do this. This is the first step to move on.. I'm sure Yuu would like that.. don't you Yuu? " I could almost see her smile when she looked at the ring on her ring finger. I was certain that that was the engagement ring Yuu gave her.
" What about you? He was still a part of you.. don't you need some of his things to remind you? " I asked, this time, with an unspeakable judgement. She looked at me, with a smile which finally formed on her lips and answered. " No.. this is enough.. " she raised her hand which still had the engagement ring on. " It was enough.. he had given me everything.. he even took my pain away.. " she bit her lips. Took her pain away? Yuu was the one who left her, giving her pain and torment her with guilt. I was shocked.. I did not just think that. Was I envied of him? Of the love she had for him?
" So that's it.. I think I'm going to bed.. oh. by the way, you could sleep here if you want. I don't feel very good, letting you to sleep at the sofa all alone by yourself.. " Wait? She's going already? She already stood up, and making her first step towards the door when I said. " Wait! That's it? " she turned her face around, and replied. " Yeah.. why? Is there anything else that you want to talk about? ", I was really sure she was going to say something about the almost kiss we had before dinner. But seeing her distraught face, I realized I was the only one who had the idea. I was frowning but looked away. Searching for other reason to respond to her question. Then, I looked at her and say.. " Nothing.. I was just thinking maybe I should sleep downstairs.. my bag is downstairs anyway. But thanks though.. ".
" Okay ... well.. it's up to you. I don't mind if you want to sleep anywhere. ", Rei said.
'Anywhere? How about your room?', I monologued. I almost laughed to that idea, but I could still maintain my neutral exrpression. I murmured, " Okay.. good night, Rei.. See you in the morning. ", I smiled, faintly. I grew fond of my own ability to sustain being as cool as a cucumber, when I was still discontented with that short conversation we had.
After she wished me good night, she walked out of the door, leaving me alone in Yuu's room. Frankly, I was still hoping for something else. Still hoped for more explanation of the incident occured in the evening.
But why do we need to explain about that anyway? Rei and I did not even kissed. So technically, nothing happened. For her, maybe nothing happened. But for me, something did change. Someway, somehow, Rei triggered something in my heart which I never felt before.
It made me long to see her face again. I was overwhelmed by the need to look at her face one more time. But knowing that that probably would not happen, I sat on the chair in front of the desk and placed my elbows on the table, arms raised, as I rested my head on my palms.
' You just don't get it, do you Kei? She's still in love with Yuu. What do you hope from her? To love you like she loved Yuu? '
I sighed. What happened back then still felt too good to be true. As I sat on the chair, my hand was searching through the tapes. My letters which were addresed to Yuu were all stacked neatly on the table. I was not very interested to look at them because I was the one who wrote them. I leaned against the chair, my hand opened the first drawer of the desk. My eyes scanned in the drawer when I realized of something.
A white envelope caught my eye. But it was not just a regular envelope.
It was addressed to Kei Amakura. To me.
When I carefully opened the letter, I read the date on the letter and I realized it was dated on that day.
The day before the accident that took Yuu's life.