1How To Catch A Potions Master By Tianit

Chapter 3: Valentines and Butterflies

85. Send him Valentines' in August (any month other than Febuary).
86. To avoid suspicion and create more annoyance, give vague hints in
these Valentines are from a certain blonde Slytherin.
216. Tell him to pick on somebody his own size. Stand on your tiptoes
and suggest yourself.
297. When he attempts to scare you in class, yawn, look bored and tell
him you're 'Sorry, but the thrill is just gone.'

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It had been a week since the delivery in the Great Hall and word of Malfoy's crush had spread like wildfire around the school. Snape of course acted the same as usual and generally made a complete arse of him self in class.

Hermione reached the hallway just as the Professor was opening the classroom door for the first class of the day. Quickly she fallowed her classmates into the room ensuring that Malfoy was just in front of her, while mentally going over her list of supplies. Hearing the mummers of her fellows she looked up to see an obscenely large valentine propped against the front podium from which lectures were delivered.

The shocking red heart form had to be at least a meter in diameter and two centimeters thick. Delicate pure white lace was gathered in layers along the edges. Now it was a well-known fact that Severus Snape did not allow such frivolity in his classroom, a fact that had been made quite clear in the cupid incident of their second year. One only need glance at the potion master to know that the fact it was currently mid-November was obviously not helping the matter.

Snape had frozen just before it with narrowed eyes and a single raised brow. His usually scowl had transformed into a snarl of barley-suppressed rage. It was then as the door clicked shut beside her and, in a movement so fast it could hardly be seen with the human eye, he had sent a curse at the monstrosity and reviled the true depth of the situation.

A flash of light sent the dark man flying back into the classroom door as a dozen smaller hearts of white, red and pink exploded into the room. Bold white lettering appeared across the expanse of red proclaiming I Love Severus Snape and small green snakes danced around the border.

It had been shear luck that the class had continued on to their sets and were not caught in the cross fire as it were. She and Malfoy were of course the closest to the downed Professor, having seats on the walkway, and so it was no surprise when the blond began to approach him.

"Professor," Draco queried with a trembling voice as approached the black mass at the back of the class room. "Are you all right sir?"

The rest of the class turned at the sound to look at him, most wore expressions that were a mixture of horror and intrigue. In a flash of reflexes Snape was up, wand between the young mans wide eyes as a low growl escaped his throat. Strands of raven hair were falling into his face obscuring his line of vision as he backed the blond down the steps. The class froze, half of them stealthy removing their wands—an after effect of war—just incase an intervention was called for.

"What the bloody hell is this?" Snape rasped between clenched teeth. So he had heard the rumors then, interesting.

"I...I...I..." Draco stuttered as he began to shake. Silently Hermione moved from her position at her worktable to stand on the steep between the door and the two men. She may have wanted to put them in their place, humiliate them as she had been; physical harm was not to be part of the bargain.

"Detention." It was hardly a whisper and yet carried more danger than those present had ever heard before. Rather than lowering his wand the Professor began to advance on the quailed boy. "And if I ever find out you were behind this act of idiocy, I shall make you wish you had never been born." The magical energy rolling off the dark man was terrifying and intense.

"Why don't you pick on some one your own size," said the quite yet clear female voice from behind them, breaking the tension with shear shock. Spinning quickly Snape came face to face with a calm, determined and seemingly fearless Hermione Granger.

"Excuse me Miss. Granger" he rasped raising that delectable brow of his. Draco used the distraction to begin backing away from the obviously dangerous man before him. A look of disbelief and respect flickered across his face before something akin to shock settled there.

"I said, why don't you pick on some one your own size, sir." She stated clearly in what she hoped was a calm voice. She was now only slightly shorter than him and squaring her shoulders decided to stand on her tiptoes so she could look him dead in the eye.

"Like you?" he sneered with obvious disbelief as he pocketed his wand once more. For a moment she was lost in the depths of his fathomless obsidian eyes before stealing herself against it.

"Yes." She stated firmly. Calmly clasping her hands in front of her as she nervously waited for his response. An unrecognizable expression came over him but was quickly replaced with the cold hardness she had become so familiar with.

"Detention, for a week." He hissed while attempting to loom over her. He was obviously trying to bring the situation back under his control but standing on the steep above him made this tactic quite useless as well as rather amusing and in a moment of pure inspiration, stupidity and courage she surprised even herself by yawned loudly while stretch an arm over head.
"Sorry sir," she quipped in an even voice while trying to ignore the thundering that was her heart. "But the thrill is just gone."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

News of class events had spread by suppertime and those who hadn't heard of it by then were quickly informed. The news about Snapes valentine his near violent attack on Draco Malfoy and the now hart filled classroom-causing the cancellation of potions until the situation could be remedied-was nearly overshadowed by the fact that Hermine Granger—the schools head girl and all around rule loving bookworm—had spoken back to Professor Snape who had been rendered speechless for nearly ten minutes before deducting a hundred house points and assigning another week of detention. (ruuuuuuuun on sentence K)

The point loss had earned her a few disgruntled looks form her house mates but most were so in awe of both what she had done and the fact that she was still among the living to be to bother by it. The fact that she had already earned back half of them also helped.

"I told you she was mental" Ron whispered to Harry as they were filled in to the day's events. Harry mutely nodded as he stared at the bushy haired girl across from them. Hermine rolled her eyes and returned to her plate of supper. She had detention in little less than twenty minutes and didn't want to be late.

"I wonder where Snape is," Harry said as he too returned to the task at hand.

"Most likely sulking in his dungeons," Ron quipped returning to his meal as well.

She ignored them and covertly watched Malfoy as she finished her meal, determined to reach the dungeons before the Slytherin if only to prevent further point deduction for 'tardiness'. Noting the ferret preparing to leave, she quickly downed her pumpkin juice and left the dining hall.

Descending the steps, she could barely hear Malfoy's hurried steps as he quietly caught up to her, she tensed. Surprisingly he didn't push her out of the way, insult or attempt to hex her but rather fell into steep beside her. Shocked she was attempting to make sense of this new development when they came to the class room door.

The vile string of explicit that were come from beyond it startled her. The deep baritone betrayed the owner. Chancing a glance at Malfoy to gage his reaction she was surprised to see that he was as shocked as she was.

"I've never heard him use such language," Draco whispered upon noticing her glance. She raised a brow at him wondering what he was basing this statement on. "Father used to be like this after a summonsing." He continued with furrowed brow, she was sure that he hadn't meant for her to hear that.
"Well, no point in delaying the inevitable," she sighed, reaching for the latch and opening the door only to be greeted by a wall of the tinny harts that had truly seemed to take over the class room. Funny the way they just floated their within the door way. She could beryl make out the forms of Snape and what appeared to be Flitwick in the middle of the room.

"But it must be one of the students," Snape snarled in exasperation as he cast Incendio at of the floating hearts only to have it split into two new ones. "No death eater worth his salt would stoop to this; they would simply kill me and be done with it."

"And I'm telling you Severus that I have never seen anything like this before in all my years," the tiny professor squeaked. Apparently neither of them had noticed the new arrivals. "Nor has the Headmaster. Who ever came up with these charms was obviously a master, not even Miss. Granger is capable of something this complex."

"I shall take exemption to that Professor." Hermine said plunging into the swarm; she could fell Malfoy fallowing her. "I shall have you know that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to sir."

"Is that so Miss Granger." Snape responded with a calculating glint in his eyes. For a moment she feared she had reviled her self as the culprit but the snarkey professor quickly put an end to that. "In that case Professor Flitwick may leave and your and Mr Malfoy's task shall be to remove this mess form my class room, and I do mean all of it."

Malofy groaned behind her.

"Now really Severus surly you can't expect students to accomplish that which fully trained Professors can't." Flitwick admonished.

Hermine hardly heard any of it as she wondered how she would get out of this mess. She could of course use the counter charm, she had created one, but that would undoubtedly give her away. Wait a minute he had not asked her to destroy or even dispose of them—something she well knew could not be done—but simply to remove them.

"Of course" she whispered as the perfect solution hit her. Noticing the stairs being sent her way by the three, now silent, men she began to explain.

"They can not be destroyed, as you demonstrated a moment ago Professor Snape." She pointed out, to which he snorted. "And Professor Flitwick has obviously been unable to find a counter charm or hex that would eliminate them." Hear she reached out and plucked one of the hearts from the air only to halve it split in two, each half forming another heart albeit slower than when Snape had blasted it with his wand. "I can only concluded by the number of hearts now present that any magic you have thus far tried on the valentine has had the same results as this morning."

"Yes, yes, Miss Granger your powers of deduction are surly wondrous'. Perhaps you can even use them to tell us something we don't already know." Snape mocked causing Malfoy to chuckle beside her. Frowning she continued.

"But they can be contained." She stated with finality. "Any magic directed at the valentine itself causes it to produce the smaller harts. Likewise touching or magic directed at one of these causes a hydra effect and two harts replace the original one." She stated. "Yet the containment spell that has been cast on this room has not affected them in such a way. Therefore we simply contain them in a smaller area."

"And how are we suppose to do that with out causing them to continue multiplying" asked a genuinely interested Draco.

"Well a portkey transports items that touch it to a pre-designate location. It dose this not by directing magic at the item to be transported but by creating a filed around it. Just as the containment filed is surrounding the room." Hermine explained while gathering four quills from her bag and transfigured them into two large pickle jars and a set of butterfly nets in the two house colors. "Getting the harts to actually touch the portkey could be a problem unless you limit the area in which they have to move and thus force contact."

"I don't understand dear," Flitwick said, looking with inquiry at the net in her hands. Seeing the similar look worn by Malfoy and cold indifference on that of her potions Professor she demonstrated by swing the net around a cluster of three hearts. Settling into the back of the net for a moment before vanishing and reappear in one of the jars while the number three appeared on its surface.

"I received a butterfly net from father on my tenth birthday, which is where I got the idea." Hermine supplied. Her smile faded as she continued, "he use to take me to the countryside on weekends."

"As interesting as all of this is, Miss Granger, perhaps you could stop showing off and get on with it." Snape said coldly with total disinterest. Flushing Hermine turned from them and began catching the colorful hearts. "Well what are you waiting for Mr Malfoy, an engraved invitation, begin."

"Yes, Professor Snape." He muttered while retrieving the green and silver net from the desk. Then she could hear footsteps as the professors exited the room behind her.

"Really Severus, was it necessary to treat the girl so harshly?" could be heard just before the door clicked shut.

Hermine could still fell eyes on her as she continued with her task, much to her annoyance. Fed up she turned to find one Draco Malfoy staring at her with a calculated look she did not trust. Frowning she cocked a brow at the blond ferret in challenge she was most shocked as he smirked at her and began to employ his new net.

"Want to make this interesting Granger" he quipped as she to returned to the task.
"What did you have in mind Malfoy." She resorted coolly.

"A Galleon to the one who catches the most of these annoying little buggers." He said in an offhand manner.

"Is that all, I must have heard wrong I thought you said interesting." She shot back turning to face him.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked, obviously intrigued. She thought for a moment before responding.

"The Galleon is a nice start but how about the loser must propose to the winners head of house in front of the great hall at breakfast." She offered, then watched his eyes widen as he contemplated this suggestion, obviously weighing the pros and cons before smirking in a devilish manner.

"You're on Granger." He said extending his hand to her. Hermine looked at the proffered hand for a moment before accepting it. She was only half startled when he pulled her body close to his own as he continued, quite suggestively. "You know Granger this could be the begging of an interesting relationship."

"In your dreams Malfoy," she smirked pulling her hand form his and began sweeping her net through the air. "Though a truce would be acceptable."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Thanks to all who reviewed, your comments were wonderful.

As of this chapter we are on to Amanda list of 404 ways to piss off Snape (see first entree); it is rather hard to think up a good idea that isn't already on this list as it is rather complete.

As to Malfoy, let it be known that I both hate and love his charter in the works by Rowling as he could quite easily become evil like his father yet is young enough to fallow in Snapes footsteps and come to the side of light. The same could be said for Potter though. In this story he chose to fallow Snape and his parents were either killed, imprisoned or are on the run and are generally out of the picture. Snape will either be his Godfather or legally responsible for him in some way.

2,562 words