Satomi gulped. It wasn't that being this close to the captain was causing her to turn bright pink, it was more of the… not being able to get away part. She couldn't imagine how the little devils could've wrapped them together with layers of kite string without their noticing, but now she was pressed a little too close for comfort. Luckily, the captain was saved from some embarrassment by the fact that if he had been two inches shorter his face would have been in Satomi's chest. However, even with that not being the case, it was very uncomfortable.

"Er… I'm not even going to suggest the pocketknife in my back pocket," Satomi said. "I've seen too many movies. Someone's hand will end up down someone's pants."

"Thank you for that pleasant image," the captain said somewhat sarcastically. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"I was thinking about the whisky," Satomi said thoughtfully. "Was it just me, or was that the bottle that was glinting which made you protectively bowl me over which ended in us standing here bound together with kite string?"

"I think it was," the captain replied. "I saw something glinting and thought it was a sword… fish. A swordfish."

"A swordfish?" Satomi repeated. She shook her head, her chin flattening the captain's spiky, hair-gelled masterpiece. "I have no clue why you would possibly think it was a swordfish, but I don't see it anymore. I think it was empty, too, so at least one of them should start dropping like a fly."

"Yes," the captain replied. "Matsumoto will."

"Probably true," Satomi admitted.

There was yet another moment of awkward silence.

"Where are those little devils now?" Satomi wondered aloud. "They're probably watching from somewhere afar. Guys, we can't kiss like this! I'm too tall to reach Hitsugaya-san's lips while being this close!"

The captain was happy because, rather than referring to him as being short, she had referred to herself as tall. That made him happy. However, the first order of business was getting out of this, and they needed something sharp, which neither of them had. Kite string was surprisingly durable.

"I know," Satomi said suddenly. "There's a pair of scissors in the kitchen. I can get it if… no, never mind, it's too horrible."

"What?" the captain asked immediately.

"Well," Satomi began slowly. "It's in a high cabinet, so the only way I could get it is if I stood on the counter, which would mean sitting first with you in my lap, then slowly edging up using the side of the refrigerator as leverage and dragging you along with me."

"Any other ideas?" the captain asked hopefully.

"Steak knife," Satomi replied blandly. "Well, let's make our way back to the kitchen and hopefully I can get something sharp. Oh! I may have left the knife I used to cut vegetables in the sink instead of washing it and putting it away, in which case I could cut the string, but I could accidentally cut myself while angling the knife under the rope."

"I'll do it," the captain suggested. "Kitchen first, though. Step right on the count of three. One, two, and three…"

There was a shuffling sound, and the pair was one step down.

"How about a step every two beats? One, two, step; three, four, step; one, two, step; like that?" Satomi suggested.

"It would be faster," the captain said through gritted teeth. One, two, step; one, two, step; one, two, step. Finally, they reached the kitchen. Satomi looked into the sink.

"I don't think your arms are long enough to reach the knife bound up like that," Satomi said. "I'll do it. My left arm is free up to my elbow." Satomi stood with her back to the sink as she groped for the knife. The captain found himself being pulled against her body even tighter as she struggled, but he tried to ignore it.

"Got it," Satomi said triumphantly. The captain nodded.

"Be careful," he warned.

"Hold still," Satomi said in reply. The next few seconds were the stillest seconds the captain had ever spent while conscious. Finally, there was a snapping sound, and the captain was free.

"Ow," Satomi said, grimacing as she looked down at her hand. She had accidentally nicked the side of her hand while getting the knife in the right position, and a thin streak of blood dripped down her fingers. The captain looked around for some sort of first aid kit as Satomi wrapped a paper towel around her wrist.

"It's okay, I'll get a Band-Aid later," Satomi said, stopping him with her good hand. "I just want to catch those kids before anything worse happens."

"You sure?" the captain asked doubtfully.

"Are you kidding?" Satomi retorted. "I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life. Where did the water guns go?"

"I don't know," the captain said.

"We'll need the Brother-no-Bother, then," Satomi said grimly. The captain froze with a sheepish grin plastered on his face. Satomi's eyes found his, and he looked away innocently. Satomi gave a slow sigh of one long-suffering. "You ate it, didn't you?" she asked. The captain's face betrayed him. Satomi sighed once more.

"Take some of mine," she said, reaching into her pockets. She handed the captain some of her candy bars.

"We basically have enough to last through a nuclear holocaust," she said. "We won't run out anytime soon. I haven't actually caught sight of those kids for a while, though… I hate to think about what they're up to… thinking about it, I don't think I even saw them when we were caught by kite string. Where do you think they are?"

"Military bunker?" the captain suggested. Etsuko seemed like the smart one, so he wouldn't put it past them. Satomi rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," she said sarcastically, but she really was worried. The captain noticed her biting her lip.

"I'll find them," the captain said suddenly. He focused. Judging by their Spiritual Pressure, they were somewhere at the end of the hall. He relayed this information, and Satomi looked doubtful.

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Intuition," the captain replied vaguely. Satomi shrugged.

"I have an idea," she said. "I can melt what chocolate remains on the stove, then drip it down the hallway. It will make a huge mess that I will then have to clean up, but I have a net for… er… delicate materials when going through the wash that we can use to snag them all while we're at it. I have huge laundry bags, actually, enough for one for each of them, which may work better. Rangiku-san might be a little big, though…"

"That's fine," the captain interrupted. "Matsumoto is passed out on the floor from the whisky. A whole bottle will to that to you, not to mention a whole bottle of foreign stuff. Who knows where it's been?"

Satomi stayed silent, although she wondered how the captain knew of this information. She shrugged.

"It's worth a try. The laundry bags are in the bedroom on the far wall, we can just dump out what's already in them and drag them down—" before Satomi even finished, the captain had Flash Stepped to the bedroom and snatched the five laundry bags he found there. He had them back within moments, and Satomi blinked as he held them up.

"Wow," she said. "You're… really fast."

"Track team," the captain replied, dumping the bags out onto the kitchen floor. "Let's hurry it up, shall we? Go ahead and melt the chocolate."

Satomi nodded and stood up, deftly grasping the handle of a pot from the open shelf. She dropped it onto the stove, clicked the flame on, and dumped all of the chocolate she had left into the pot. Now they only needed to wait.

Satomi held the pot in one hand with an oven-mitt and a spoon in her other hand, stirring the chocolate so that it didn't harden. "Er… can we lay down a tarp or something?" she asked. She just couldn't spill the chocolate down the hardwood floors. It was wrong to her. In reply, the captain snagged the other oven mitt and took the pot from her, then tossed it. The pot clanged as it rolled down the hallway, spraying the floor and walls with chocolate. Satomi moaned.

The effect was instantaneous. The door shot open and three boys raced out followed by a warier older two to literally lick the chocolate off the walls. Satomi made a face.

"Boys are so gross," she whispered.

"Thank you," the captain replied. Satomi blushed slightly. "How's your hand?" the captain asked, looking down at her hand hidden by the oven mitt.

"It stopped bleeding," Satomi said. "You have the laundry bags?"

"Yep."

"One… two… three…"

And then the two slid down the chocolate-covered hallway, bags held at the ready. The shocked faces of Satomi's younger brothers were a sight to see as first Bunta, then Shiro and Suguru were snatched into sacks. Satomi made sure their heads popped out before she drew the strings tight around their necks, capturing them. The captain, meanwhile, tackled Etsuko and forcibly fit him into the sack.

Susumu leaned against the hall looking bored.

"I surrender," he said, holding his hands up protectively as Satomi advanced with a laundry sack. At least one of them had some sense.

Satomi and Captain Hitsugaya met each other back at the end of the hall, covered in chocolate, looking triumphantly down at the chocolate-smeared laundry bags that held struggling little boys. Satomi grinned, looking over at the captain.

"I'll take care of them," she said. "So much for an uneventful evening, I guess. It's a lot later than I thought it was."

"I had fun," the captain admitted.

"Maybe we can do this again sometime?" Satomi suggested.

"Maybe next time just dinner and a movie?" the captain suggested. Satomi grinned.

"It's a plan."

"Hey!" Shiro sniffled. "You forgot about us! We were only trying to help!"

"Is that what we were doing?" Etsuko said thoughtfully.

Satomi glowered at them until they were quiet. Her hands immediately went to her hips, and she tapped her foot.

"You are in a world of trouble," she hissed. The four boys hung their heads, or, rather, all except Bunta, who somehow managed to get his finger up his nose past the string loosely tied around his neck.

"You should probably get your cousin and go home," Satomi said sorrowfully, turning to the captain. "It's pretty late. I'm really sorry for what happened. I didn't expect the children to be so… enthusiastic."

"Well," the captain began slowly. "It was an interesting first date."

"Oh, but it wasn't…" Satomi began quickly. She sighed when she saw the captain's teasing grin. She smiled. "It was very interesting, certainly," she said. "Um… I don't know if… that is to say… would you mind…?"

Satomi smiled slowly, then leaned forward slightly. Her hand met the captain's chin and tilted his head up ever so carefully, and then she gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead. The captain's eyes were wide as she pulled away.

"Sorry, but you are pretty cute," Satomi said, blushing furiously.

"Is that so?" Suguru said shortly. "Why Operation Lip-lock, I ask? If I knew they were going to do that, I would have just called it Operation Yuck. Why does nobody tell me these things?"

"Lip-lock achieved!" Etsuko crowed triumphantly. Satomi rolled his eyes.

"It was just his forehead," she complained.

"You go, cap'n!" someone slurred from the doorway behind them. "Lay one on her!"

With a sigh, Captain Hitsugaya turned to help Matsumoto to her feet. Supporting the busty lieutenant carefully, he looked back at Satomi.

"Thank you for dinner," he said gratefully. "It was wonderful."

Satomi gave a little wave and watched as the chocolate-smeared child prodigy, supporting his 'cousin,' headed out the door. A pleasant smile was plastered on Satomi's face, but after the door closed behind them, she turned very, very slowly to face her four little brothers, who reeled back in terror.

"You… are… dead," she said slowly with a terrifying smile on her face.

The End