I'm finally getting round to updating some fics. Sorry it's been so long. Thank you for reading and reviewing - it's much appreciated.
Reno and Rufus aren't getting on at the moment...
Over
"Why are you so angry?" Rufus asks.
"I'm not angry!" Reno snaps.
"Oh. Then why have you been avoiding me?"
"I haven't! Not everything's about you, Rufus. I've been busy."
"With Xin?"
"That's over."
"But I told you it was okay to keep seeing him."
"Yeah. You told me."
Rufus frowns, growing impatient. "I meant it. I'm not jealous."
"Ha!"
"I'm not! You can have a dozen lovers if you want to." He grimaces in distaste as he adds, "Provided you're meticulous about taking precautions and keep up to date with your medical checks."
"Yeah. Should be careful with these under-plate types. Never know what you might catch."
"Well –"
"I ain't stupid. You were probably more at risk of catching something from Miss Silicone Tits the other night."
"I never touched her! Well – I took her arm, but I didn't have much choice about that. I brought you something back from Bernetti's though."
"What – a doggy bag?" Reno sneers. "Want me to sit up and beg for it?" Rufus stares at him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? It's just a bottle of wine. I thought we could have dinner…"
"Yeah? And how much did that cost? A hundred gil a glass, like the fucking coffee? Two hundred? What – it's distilled from the tears of Nibel Mountain virgins, or some shit? I don't want it Rufus. I didn't want the gold pen, or the cuff links or those frigging impossible to iron West Condor cotton shirts, or any of it. What are you trying to do? You're better than me – okay, I get that. You can have anything – anyone – you want and you picked me."
"Yes! Exactly. That's what it's about. I don't understand why that makes you angry. I wanted you. I'm spending this money on you because you're worth it. "
"And you kindly allow me to see other people."
"Yes! Even if I don't understand some of your choices. But at least you've finished with that Xin – because, frankly, he was beneath you."
"You don't know what you're talking about! He's a good man. He built up a business in the slums, and, believe me, that ain't easy. Maybe you'd've done as much with his start in life – maybe you wouldn't. I didn't, I know that much. He's never kidnapped or tortured or killed anyone. How can you say he's beneath me? I finished it for his sake, not mine. I liked Xin. In another world –"
"But – you only went with him because he looks like Tseng! It's Tseng you want, but you're too scared – or you think too little of yourself - to dare. But you have me, Reno! How can Tseng be too good for you? You laugh when I say I'm not jealous, but it's true – I'm not sexually jealous. The fact that you want Tseng – I can see that. He's very attractive. But I am jealous of my – my position. I give you everything – and you still see Tseng as being above you!"
"You're right. I do think Tseng's above me. He's my fucking superior. As for Xin – yeah – it started out as a physical thing because he looks like Tseng. But now – no. If I didn't work for ShinRa, I'd be staying with Xin – for as long as he'd have me. But you – you and your declarations of what you do for me - pushing your money on me like you think I'm some kind of charity case – letting me know all the time how I should be so fucking grateful – so flattered - that you even deigned to look at me twice, while constantly reminding me that it's only sex and we can both screw whoever else whenever we want – Well, screw that! I don't have you, Rufus, I just have you. And every fucking time, you tell me that it don't mean nothing. You say you give me everything – but what you give me is nothing to you. I don't know what this has been about for you, but I can get good sex elsewhere without all this bullshit."
"What bullshit? All I've ever done –"
"Are you fucking Tseng?"
"I told you I was going to. Is that what this is about?"
Reno looks at Rufus narrowly. "That's not an answer. Are you fucking Tseng now?"
"Why shouldn't I be? You would be, if you dared."
"Fuck, Rufus – it's not about daring! Don't you get it? You can't have everything! Some things just - aren't ever gonna to happen!"
"You can make them happen. I make things happen. When I want something I don't stop until I get it. You could do that too - if you only believed that you were good enough –"
"No." Reno shakes his head, exasperated. "No. You can't have everything you want – not even you. I don't believe you're with Tseng. He wouldn't – not unless Veld told him to."
"Did Veld tell you to?"
"No! I wanted you, okay? I knew it was a risk, but when you made the move I went along with it, because I wanted you. I did what you said – I dared. Even though my job was on the line – hell – my life was on the line. But as soon as I did, you started with how it don't mean nothing, so I played along with that. And now you're goin' after Tseng – why? I don't get it. I've had enough of your games. I'm sick of it. If it's to punish me for Xin – I finished with Xin. What else can I do? You know what? I've had enough. I'm finished with all of this."
Reno turns away. Rufus takes a step after him before he can stop himself. Angry and alarmed, he cries out, "You can't walk out on me! Who the hell do you think you are?"
Reno heads for the door.
"Tseng kissed me!"
That gets Reno's attention. He turns and gives Rufus a furious glare. "Liar! You kissed him, you mean."
"He kissed me back."
Reno takes that in, then he sneers, "Fine. I hope you'll be very happy together. Just try to bear in mind that he's not some fucking pet, 'cause I doubt he'll put up with your bullshit."
"Reno –"
Reno opens the door.
"Reno!"
The door slams behind him.
When Tseng takes over from Rod later that night, Rod is out in the corridor looking worried. "Wouldn't let me in," he says. "I think he's had some kind of argument with Reno. Are those two –"
"What makes you think they've argued?" Tseng interrupts.
"Reno was out here when I took over, in a foul mood, pacing up and down like Dark Nation in a cage. He went off without saying anything. I knocked on the door and the VP told me to fuck off. When I told him it was me he just said, "Oh. That wasn't aimed at you. Stay out there, please." I asked him if he was okay and he said, "Yes. I just don't want to see anyone."
"Well, that seems conclusive. All right, you can go. I'd prefer it if you kept any speculation about Reno and the Vice President to yourself."
"Yes, Sir."
When Rod has gone, Tseng knocks on the door. "It's Tseng, Sir. May I come in?"
"Why? It's not as though you want me either," comes an angry voice from the other side of the door. Tseng sighs. There was a spate of this when Rufus was fifteen, not long after his mother died – experiments with drink and occasionally drugs – but he's grown out of that. Apparently his current experiments in love aren't going so well.
"I'd prefer it if you'd let me in," Tseng calls. "But I do have a key."
The door opens. Rufus turns away immediately, throwing himself back onto the couch. On the coffee table stands one empty bottle of wine, and another about a third empty. Rufus goes to pour another glass. "I'd ask you to join me, but you're on duty," he says. "Fucking good wine. 'Tears of Nibel Mountain virgins – or some shit' – to quote a certain red-haired fucker we all know and - know." He laughs harshly.
"I think you should stop drinking now," Tseng says gently. "You'll be in pain tomorrow."
"Who says I'm not now?" Rufus mutters, before laughing at himself. "Fuck, I can't be drunk on less than two bottles. But why does Reno have to be such a fucking asshole? I don't understand why he can't just – Why it all has to be so –"
"I'll make you some coffee," Tseng says, "and then it would probably be best to get some sleep." He goes to the kitchen counter and pours fresh beans into Rufus' top-of-the-range ShinRatech coffee machine. When he presses the button, the machine begins to steam and gurgle. Dark liquid drops slowly into two mugs.
"Coffee that costs a hundred gil a cup," Rufus sighs, "And still not good enough for him. What does he want?"
"I don't know," says Tseng, even though it was clearly a rhetorical question.
"He finished with me," Rufus says, shaking his head in disbelief. "He'd rather be with some slum mechanic than me."
"Perhaps he really does have feelings for Xin?" Tseng asks.
"Maybe, but he finished with Xin, too. I think that's why he was angry – why he finished with me. I don't understand him."
Tseng smiles as he hands Rufus his coffee. "I'm not sure anyone understands Reno. Except Rude, perhaps. Drink this."
"I'm not that drunk, really."
"No, but I still think it would be a good idea for you to drink it."
Rufus takes the coffee and sits with his elbows on his knees, both hands around the warm mug, staring down into the almost black liquid. Suddenly he sets the mug down on the table too hard, so that coffee sloshes over the rim and forms a dark pool on the tabletop. Rufus jumps to his feet. "No!" he exclaims, "I'm not having this! Reno seems to be able to pick up whoever he likes in that bar you go to – good-looking, available people – so why shouldn't I? He doesn't want me – I'll find someone who does! What's that bar called, Tseng? Where is it? Take me there."
Tseng puts down his own coffee carefully and stands up, taking a step towards Rufus, positioning himself between the tipsy Vice President and the door. "You know that wouldn't be a good idea, Sir," he says.
"Why not?"
"It's not the kind of place where your safety could be guaranteed. Besides, if you picked up someone in a place like that, the gossip media would be all over it in minutes, and your father –"
"My father would most likely have a fit. Perhaps the shock would kill him, d'you think? If I picked up a boy?" Rufus laughs darkly. "I hear Xin's available. Although I do draw the line at Reno's cast-offs."
For the first time he can remember Rufus sees a crack in Tseng's constantly calm demeanour. True it's little more than a tightening of the lips; the hint of a frown that suggests impatience, but from Tseng it's startling.
"I think you should go to bed now," says Tseng, as though Rufus is an errant toddler.
"I will – if you come with me," Rufus replies, half careless, half desperate.
"Reno doesn't bother losing his temper over things that don't matter to him," Tseng observes, clearing up the spilled coffee and making a fresh cup. He puts it into Rufus' hands. "Go to bed. It's not a good idea to make decisions when you're drunk."
Rufus sighs, but acquiesces. When he gets to the bedroom door he turns and looks at Tseng, calm now – quietly dignified, even. "I meant what I was getting at in the car the other day," he says. "Reno only ever went with Xin because he looks like you. I said earlier that I don't know what Reno wants, but that's not true. He wants you. He wants you, but he thinks you're – I don't know – out of bounds, or something. Reno and I have never had an exclusive relationship. We talked about you, and I admitted that I wanted you, too. Perhaps that's why he was so angry? But, really, none of this is your doing. I just thought it would – clarify things, if you knew the truth. Anyway, I apologise if I've embarrassed you. I'm afraid I have been less than subtle recently." Without waiting for a reply Rufus goes into his room, closing the door softly behind him.
When he's gone, Tseng tidies up the living room and the kitchen automatically, barely registering what he's doing. Is Rufus telling the truth? He certainly sounded sincere. Tseng can't deny that when he saw Xin and Reno together he wondered – perhaps even hoped? - But even if Rufus is right, the idea of anything of that kind happening between himself and Reno is unthinkable. Their relative positions in the Turk hierarchy, Reno's attachment to Rufus, and Rufus' to him – the potential for disaster is, as it always has been, simply too great a risk. And as for Rufus himself… Well, it shocks Tseng to discover how much that idea tempts him, on a purely sexual level.
No. Impossible.
As he cleans the coffee machine and rinses Rufus' wine glass, Tseng considers whether he ought to inform Veld about the situation, and decides against it. The best thing he can do is to talk to Reno and persuade him to go back to Rufus. It won't be an easy conversation, knowing what he now knows, but it's a necessary one if the status quo is to be preserved. And however volatile the relationship between Rufus and Reno may be, Tseng is certain that it runs deeper than either of them are prepared to admit.